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(Nerve)   Rhetorical question of the day: Why Do We Make Sex Lists?   (nerve.com) divider line 50
    More: Obvious, incursions  
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4521 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Nov 2013 at 11:55 AM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-04 11:57:08 AM
i call them categories
 
2013-11-04 11:57:39 AM
I honestly don't know why people make sex lists.  I also don't know why people collect baseball cards. I feel like the motivations are similar, though.  Maybe I'd be better off if I'd have kept a list, at least that way I'd have a count, but I don't feel the need to remember everyone I've slept with any more than I feel the need to remember every meal I've eaten. I remember enough of the great ones to feel fulfilled.
 
2013-11-04 11:58:23 AM
Fark Sex list.

1. www.pitbullregistry.com
 
2013-11-04 11:58:51 AM
I don't have enough money to maintain that kind of database.
 
2013-11-04 11:59:03 AM
People actually do that? fark that shiat. It's only evidence that can and will be used against you when you forget to take the garbage can to the end of the driveway, you selfish prick.
 
2013-11-04 11:59:19 AM
Subby, have YOU tried to carve a notch on your penis?

I thought so.
 
2013-11-04 11:59:46 AM
1. My ex.

End of list. :(
 
2013-11-04 12:00:45 PM
Because self-love is the best love, even if you need to get laid to feel it.
 
2013-11-04 12:01:03 PM

iron_city_ap: People actually do that? fark that shiat. It's only evidence that can and will be used against you when you forget to take the garbage can to the end of the driveway, you selfish prick.


Could be useful if you're trying to remember which cousins are ok to boink at the next family reunion or funeral...
 
2013-11-04 12:01:37 PM
Is that a picture of the looney toon that killed her boyfriend?
 
2013-11-04 12:02:24 PM
Why would a woman write an article about details of her personal sex life and post it to the internet?

It's because she has a great, novel intellectual point to make of course.
 
2013-11-04 12:02:35 PM
So when it burns when you pee, you can figure out who gave you what.
 
2013-11-04 12:03:03 PM
Am I the only one who saw naked boobs on the article's photo at first glance?
 
2013-11-04 12:06:26 PM
Here's my list:

1. that girlfriend who now cooks (poorly) and takes my paycheck (thoroughly)

end of list
 
2013-11-04 12:08:03 PM
So we can note the psychos and stay away from them as well as figure out who gave us the clap.
 
2013-11-04 12:08:35 PM
ninjamonkey.us
 
2013-11-04 12:09:44 PM
I had 2 lists when i was younger; girls i nailed and girls i wanted to nail. Now I'm 28 and neither list seems important. maybe it's because I'm getting laid twice a week or i grew out of it. Not sure
 
2013-11-04 12:09:59 PM
Why do people who make sex lists think other people care?
 
2013-11-04 12:10:05 PM
My list is easy. There are only two people on it, and I'm one of them. :^\

Beyond the fact that it's totally moot for me personally, I don't understand anyone wanting to keep such a list, but I certainly wouldn't care enough about it to write any kind of blog/article about it. [shrug].

/the other is my ex-wife
//Not interested in creating a long list - I'm a fan of quality, not quantity.
 
2013-11-04 12:10:58 PM
What a horribly aberrant, trite, and childish thing to even write ABOUT, let alone actually have one.  More dumbfarkery from a generation of people who have to put everything out there for people to see.
 
2013-11-04 12:11:27 PM
Why?   (facepalms)   WHY???????????

Just go enjoy the slippery fricktion of mucus membranes in contact and STFU!
 
2013-11-04 12:13:28 PM

Belias: Am I the only one who saw naked boobs on the article's photo at first glance?


Out of the corner of my eye, I thought the shirt had crude boobs printed on it. Appropriately enough, I think that's the only thing the author could have to further advertise her sexual activeness.
 
2013-11-04 12:20:18 PM
Because it makes for an easy slideshow and our website needs more hits?
 
2013-11-04 12:26:14 PM

topcon: What a horribly aberrant, trite, and childish thing to even write ABOUT, let alone actually have one.  More dumbfarkery from a generation of people who have to put everything out there for people to see.


I share your impulse to wear onions on your belt and shout at clouds.

/you are nonetheless correct in the dissolving space between "of interest" and "oversharing".
 
2013-11-04 12:26:56 PM
I have no farking clue what a "sex list" is so not all of is make them. I'm assuming it's one of those "crlebrities my significant other would let me have sex with" things, which seem like harmless fun. Still never made one, though.

/Chloe Moretz
 
2013-11-04 12:28:58 PM
DNRTFA, and before I read the comments, I honestly had no idea what a "Sex List" was.

Here's mine:
1) Male
2) Female

/sex lists: why do we make them?
 
2013-11-04 12:34:45 PM
I put together and kept a list when I was in high school and insecure about my prowess. Once the list passed 20 I decided that I was no longer concerned about such a list.

Kind of like how young people keep track of how many beers, pills, joints, etc they ingest. Once you get to a certain level of use, you no longer share that stuff because it becomes less a badge of honor and more of an obvious sign of a problem.

"9 beers and 3 bong rips with my boy, Chauncy." = "Bro, pound it."

Once you get to "A fifth of bourbon, 4 xanax bars and an eight-ball" you're either hanging out with people that already know, or you don't talk about it anymore.
 
2013-11-04 12:37:52 PM
fatattackfitnesscamp.com
 
2013-11-04 12:43:58 PM

GhostfacedFiddlah: DNRTFA, and before I read the comments, I honestly had no idea what a "Sex List" was.

Here's mine:
1) Male
2) Female

/sex lists: why do we make them?


See... you need a list because yours is incomplete:

3) Hemaphrodites
4) Men with penis cut off and artificial hole created.
5) Women with Clitoris turned inside out.
6) Men on female hormones but penis not chopped off.
7). Women on male hormones but clitoris right side out.
8) Born with no sex organs.
9) Rush Limbaugh.
 
2013-11-04 01:05:17 PM
Because, Kate Beckinsale

www.bartcop.com
 
2013-11-04 01:06:37 PM
oh, I misunderstood. It's a list of conquests, not a top 5 your wife or SO would allow.

Still Kate Beckinsale...
 
2013-11-04 01:32:08 PM

MagSeven: So when it burns when you pee, you can figure out who gave you what.


Dear ____,
I sadly just found out I have AIDS.

This is not a joke.

Please get tested. I hope I did not pass it on to you.

And if I actually GOT it from you, I hope you live a long and awful life.

Yours,
______
 
2013-11-04 01:40:09 PM

CleanAndPure: 5) Women with Clitoris turned inside out.


Isn't that all men, technically speaking?
 
2013-11-04 01:41:04 PM
I have a list because I have smoked weed since like 1983 and if I don't then I forget who did what and when.
I don't ask my partners if they have a list or a number, but sometimes they offer that info up and it is quite interesting. A few years ago in Austin I was someone's number 100, I felt fine being her hundredth fark, and I guess she might remember me for that even though we only stayed together a few weeks.
 
VTZ
2013-11-04 01:41:49 PM
If I made one, my wife would divorce me...
 
2013-11-04 01:46:29 PM
I really wish I'd had more sex in my life but would never want to BE LIKE any of the people who say they have a lot of sex (my guess is the vast majority are lying about it anyway).
 
2013-11-04 01:51:15 PM

timujin: I honestly don't know why people make sex lists.  I also don't know why people collect baseball cards. I feel like the motivations are similar, though.  Maybe I'd be better off if I'd have kept a list, at least that way I'd have a count, but I don't feel the need to remember everyone I've slept with any more than I feel the need to remember every meal I've eaten. I remember enough of the great ones to feel fulfilled.


You've stumbled upon a fantastic idea- sexual baseball cards.  It can list all the pertinent stats and a few blanks that can be filled in by the other person.  That way you can just hand one to your partner after sex for easy cataloguing.  My picture would be me holding my erect junk like I'm in the on-deck circle.

/my on-base percentage is good
//slugging percentage is awful
///my wife would get a golden glove award, if you know what I'm saying, and I think you do
 
2013-11-04 01:55:09 PM

Telos: CleanAndPure: 5) Women with Clitoris turned inside out.

Isn't that all men, technically speaking?


I suppose so.. so perhaps should say "surgically turned inside out".
 
2013-11-04 01:58:05 PM

had98c: 1. My ex.

End of list. :(


You're on Fark.  So far, you have 100% more entries on your list than the average person here.
 
2013-11-04 02:46:25 PM

YoOjo: I have a list because I have smoked weed since like 1983 and if I don't then I forget who did what and when.


I smoked and drank a lot in college, so it's nearly impossible for me to remember who/what/when. My very best estimate, including Mrs_Fab, is 14.

That count would have been much higher if I'd been better motivated in my late teens/early 20s (see previous note on smoking & drinking), and if I hadn't married my grad-school sweetheart (and never cheated, seriously).

/25th anniversary coming up
//pretty sure I'll get some
 
2013-11-04 02:52:02 PM

unyon: timujin: I honestly don't know why people make sex lists.  I also don't know why people collect baseball cards. I feel like the motivations are similar, though.  Maybe I'd be better off if I'd have kept a list, at least that way I'd have a count, but I don't feel the need to remember everyone I've slept with any more than I feel the need to remember every meal I've eaten. I remember enough of the great ones to feel fulfilled.

You've stumbled upon a fantastic idea- sexual baseball cards.  It can list all the pertinent stats and a few blanks that can be filled in by the other person.  That way you can just hand one to your partner after sex for easy cataloguing.  My picture would be me holding my erect junk like I'm in the on-deck circle.

/my on-base percentage is good
//slugging percentage is awful
///my wife would get a golden glove award, if you know what I'm saying, and I think you do


Her vagina looks like a catcher's mitt? Is that what you are saying?
 
2013-11-04 02:53:44 PM
Well now I am depressed.
 
2013-11-04 03:26:35 PM
It would be awesome if the list wasn't just who, but each time.

The General's would go like this:

1.  Me
2.  Me
3 - 412:  Me
413.  Betty from Freshman year of college.
414 - 460:  Me
461 - Etc...
 
2013-11-04 03:43:16 PM

Mr_Fabulous: YoOjo: I have a list because I have smoked weed since like 1983 and if I don't then I forget who did what and when.

I smoked and drank a lot in college, so it's nearly impossible for me to remember who/what/when. My very best estimate, including Mrs_Fab, is 14.

That count would have been much higher if I'd been better motivated in my late teens/early 20s (see previous note on smoking & drinking), and if I hadn't married my grad-school sweetheart (and never cheated, seriously).

/25th anniversary coming up
//pretty sure I'll get some


Oh you have to include Mrs_Fab, I did.
 
2013-11-04 04:02:37 PM
Additionally Why Does Subby Capitalize Half Of His Sentence?
 
2013-11-04 04:16:31 PM
I had to RTFA to find out what a "sex list" is.
 
2013-11-04 05:13:06 PM
More Orgasms?
 
2013-11-04 06:53:49 PM
Lists are for unimaginative amateurs.

farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-11-04 07:24:02 PM
Since I can count the number of people I've had sex with on one hand, I don't think I need a list to remember them.

I'd be lucky to have even met 100 people, let alone wanted to have sex with that many. I'm just going to assume some people aren't remotely fussy about who they sleep with. Other people's lives boggle my mind at times.
 
2013-11-05 07:57:10 AM

///my wife would get a golden glove award, if you know what I'm saying, and I think you do

Her vagina looks like a catcher's mitt? Is that what you are saying?


Still supple with a bit of leather conditioner?

Putting your whole hand in feels great?


(Trolling, Fark's minigame? Aisle seat please...)

 
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