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(Medium)   China's take on 'Top Gun' is a cheap, leaden imitation of the original   (medium.com) divider line 66
    More: Obvious, Top Gun, Kenny Loggins, superior officer, chickens, Chinese Communist Party  
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10396 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Nov 2013 at 7:22 AM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-04 01:41:13 AM
Best translated line in the movie:

"Drain off the balls for harassing".

(They mean; "Drop chaff and flares")
 
2013-11-04 02:04:23 AM
"Since you are provocative in our sky...I will make you come without returning!"


We are for the big, here!
 
2013-11-04 04:29:33 AM
So it sounds like a film that would be funny to watch, yet the article tries to make it out as purely bad with no redeeming qualities.
 
2013-11-04 05:14:53 AM
China has to step up its crazy if it wants to be taken seriously as a grown up country.
 
2013-11-04 07:13:19 AM
Sky Fighters is possibly the worst movie with fighter planes ever made.

images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-11-04 07:14:10 AM
What they go to the difficult zone?
 
2013-11-04 07:24:37 AM

Any Pie Left: Best translated line in the movie:

"Drain off the balls for harassing".

(They mean; "Drop chaff and flares")


So the homo erotic shower/locker room scenes?
 
2013-11-04 07:25:13 AM

Any Pie Left: "Since you are provocative in our sky...I will make you come without returning!"


We are for the big, here!


I"m guessing again one of the home erotic shower/locker room scenes?
 
2013-11-04 07:28:14 AM
mrwgifs.com

media.giphy.com
 
2013-11-04 07:38:12 AM
fta While Top Gun is proof that a cheesy film can still be immensely enjoyable,

/stopped reading right there
 
2013-11-04 07:38:32 AM

staplermofo: China has to step up its crazy if it wants to be taken seriously as a grown up country.


More than that, they have a huge surplus of un-mate-able young men to dispose of - and since modern warfare is not as good at getting rid of warm bodies (of actual combatants) as the old kind, they need to get rampin' up the sabre rattling pretty seriously. My money is on India as their first victim. They could fight an old fashioned, soldier-killin' war with them.
Yeah, India has nukes - but those are for Pakistan. India would give up some territory before they'd go nuke with the Chinese - that would be suicide.
 
2013-11-04 07:39:14 AM
Meh.  Their 'Top Guns' can't be too good if they can be "shot down" by unarmed surveillance aircraft.
 
2013-11-04 07:44:32 AM
I can't wait to hear The People's Glorious Thousand Year Road Traversing the Zone of Peril. I hear it rocks.
 
2013-11-04 07:45:17 AM

jso2897: staplermofo: China has to step up its crazy if it wants to be taken seriously as a grown up country.

More than that, they have a huge surplus of un-mate-able young men to dispose of - and since modern warfare is not as good at getting rid of warm bodies (of actual combatants) as the old kind, they need to get rampin' up the sabre rattling pretty seriously. My money is on India as their first victim. They could fight an old fashioned, soldier-killin' war with them.
Yeah, India has nukes - but those are for Pakistan. India would give up some territory before they'd go nuke with the Chinese - that would be suicide.


Both sides have nukes, but nukes aren't really any good in the area that they dispute, so they could have a good, old-fashioned "kill off the flower of the nation's youth" war without resorting to nukes.  Hell, they've come to blows several times in the past.
 
2013-11-04 07:48:14 AM
During the Gulf War the Navy ship I Thinkwas on seemed to play Top Gun a few times a week. I sort of wish we had this film for the laugh factor.
 
2013-11-04 07:51:05 AM
When you are watching or reviewing movies from the People's Republic of China, you have to remember one fact about Chinese cinema:  It sucks.
 
2013-11-04 07:52:54 AM
I've a buddy who quoted Top Gun one day randomly. I looked at him with a 'dunno' look. He stopped and stared at me: "really? Really? You don't know Top Gun?" I hadn't seen it since 1990 or something- just not a movie I liked. He chided me that I needed to see it again. When he saw my girlfriend he told her he couldn't believe I hadn't watched it- and I should borrow it from him. She looked at him and said "Top Gun? The sausage fest movie?"

There have been no further quotes of said movie since that moment. I laughed so hard.
 
2013-11-04 07:54:41 AM
I bet it would be fun to watch if you were pretty drunk.  Maybe not the whole thing but 20-30 minutes worth.
 
2013-11-04 07:57:50 AM

Notabunny: fta While Top Gun is proof that a cheesy film can still be immensely enjoyable,

/stopped reading right there


Yep, I know what you mean. It's not cheesy at all, it's just a great film.

Still, I kept reading.
 
2013-11-04 08:01:52 AM
Does China have it's own version of The Kansas City BBQ (the real-life hangout featured in Top Gun that anyone who has ever been to a San Diego Comic-Con knows about because it's food is good but cheap)?

files.reel-scout.com

No? Well then there's where the Fail is!
 
2013-11-04 08:03:07 AM

Nadie_AZ: I've a buddy who quoted Top Gun one day randomly. I looked at him with a 'dunno' look. He stopped and stared at me: "really? Really? You don't know Top Gun?" I hadn't seen it since 1990 or something- just not a movie I liked. He chided me that I needed to see it again. When he saw my girlfriend he told her he couldn't believe I hadn't watched it- and I should borrow it from him. She looked at him and said "Top Gun? The sausage fest movie?


Which reminds me, I didn't go to Sausagetoberfest this year.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-11-04 08:09:46 AM
It's not news - its hork-a-mod's-rod by a newb writer in search of hit.

"There's this Chinese movie - it was like "Top Gun," but bad." Stop the presses - we have a scoop!

Try the entertainment tab next time.
 
2013-11-04 08:21:09 AM
Sky Fighters is possibly the worst movie with fighter planes ever made. And that's saying a lot.

Worse than Iron Eagle III?

Any Pie Left: Best translated line in the movie:

"Drain off the balls for harassing".

(They mean; "Drop chaff and flares")


Sure they do.
 
2013-11-04 08:30:18 AM
Well to be fair, Top Gun was also made as domestic propaganda..........for the Rainbow Coalition.
 
2013-11-04 08:38:50 AM

JasonOfOrillia: Sky Fighters is possibly the worst movie with fighter planes ever made. And that's saying a lot.

Worse than Iron Eagle III?


Iron Eagle III at least had warbirds.
That's all it had, but that at least vaults it above a few other movies.

Actually, I just remembered; Iron Eagle IV is a comprehensive treatise on all that is wrong with general aviation.  Did you mean Iron Eagle IV instead of Iron Eagle III?
 
2013-11-04 08:43:21 AM
I made it through a fairly sizeable chunk of this thread thinking the headline said "Chinese version of 'Top Gear' "...I was getting more and more confused...and then just felt a little dumb.  So I figured I would share...

/Ugh...Monday...
 
2013-11-04 08:45:34 AM

taoistlumberjak: JasonOfOrillia: Sky Fighters is possibly the worst movie with fighter planes ever made. And that's saying a lot.

Worse than Iron Eagle III?

Iron Eagle III at least had warbirds.
That's all it had, but that at least vaults it above a few other movies.

Actually, I just remembered; Iron Eagle IV is a comprehensive treatise on all that is wrong with general aviation.  Did you mean Iron Eagle IV instead of Iron Eagle III?


It's been a long time.  They all sort of blur into one long painful trainwreck for Louis Gossett Jr.
 
2013-11-04 09:11:24 AM
This is going to be a cult classic in the US.  Mark my words.
 
2013-11-04 09:21:57 AM
God help us if the Chinese ever start innovating things.
 
2013-11-04 09:32:44 AM

Dwindle: God help us if the Chinese ever start innovating things.


Indeed, I mean look how badly they farked up Top Gun. Let's hope the next time they try "innovating" things, its not something serious, like a really destructive weapon
 
2013-11-04 09:50:19 AM

Dwindle: God help us if the Chinese ever start innovating things.


It'll be confusing.  There will be a military base with 100 amazing new jet fighters.  And if ever someone decides to attack that base they will not know which 5 actually work.  So they'll have to destroy them all.  And they'll find instead of wasting conventional military weapons it is cheaper to use your bare hands on the crazed plastics and brittle metals.
 
2013-11-04 09:55:10 AM
Can it really be worse than this epic?
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-04 10:02:58 AM
I bet the planes have nice phone holders.
 
2013-11-04 10:06:27 AM

dittybopper: When you are watching or reviewing movies from the People's Republic of China, you have to remember one fact about Chinese cinema:  It sucks.


I've seen a number of very good Chinese movies, though I think they are mostly from Hong Kong. Much better than anything coming out of Hollywood right now.
 
2013-11-04 10:12:53 AM

maxximillian: Can it really be worse than this epic?
[i.imgur.com image 354x500]


The only good thing about this movie was Biel in the waterfall and the SU-37's at the end.
 
2013-11-04 10:15:58 AM
I enjoy Tarantino's take on Top Gun much better.
 
2013-11-04 10:22:07 AM
Calling China's take on "Top Gun" a cheap, leaden imitation is insulting.

Not to mention incomplete, what with the cadmium and melamine involved.
 
2013-11-04 10:40:01 AM
Subby: "China's take on 'Top Gun' is a cheap, leaden imitation of the original"

So it's a perfect, slavish copy then?
 
2013-11-04 10:52:53 AM

Dwindle: God help us if the Chinese ever start innovating things.


Funny you should mention that. The Chinese have actually started programs to try and teach creativity to their scientists.
 
2013-11-04 10:59:32 AM
Yeah I watched it but two hours later I wanted to watch it again.
 
2013-11-04 11:09:22 AM
" .. GW ridded a bicycle something something I'm better him .."

I thought I read that was Lester Maddox who rode the bicycles
 
2013-11-04 11:09:29 AM

maxximillian: Can it really be worse than this epic?
[i.imgur.com image 354x500]


I was on a cruise and that movie was the only thing really on tv.  I thought it would be terrible.  I guess my expectations were so low that I found it to be acceptable.  But then again I have watched a lot of MST3K so I can set my expectations exceedingly low.
 
2013-11-04 11:24:30 AM
 
2013-11-04 11:25:35 AM

Gergesa: maxximillian: Can it really be worse than this epic?
[i.imgur.com image 354x500]

I was on a cruise and that movie was the only thing really on tv.  I thought it would be terrible.  I guess my expectations were so low that I found it to be acceptable.  But then again I have watched a lot of MST3K so I can set my expectations exceedingly low.


Good to know, so bashing a mediocre movie is much better than hyping a okay movie.
 
2013-11-04 11:31:36 AM
This makes me wonder how the original Top Gun would have been received by average Soviet citizens -- if it had been available there in the 80's.
 
2013-11-04 11:33:12 AM

DocPeabody: Dwindle: God help us if the Chinese ever start innovating things.

Indeed, I mean look how badly they farked up Top Gun. Let's hope the next time they try "innovating" things, its not something serious, like a really destructive weapon


You mean like a radiation emittive bomb for exploding?
 
2013-11-04 11:34:15 AM

me texan: This is going to be a cult classic in the US.  Mark my words.


Maybe -- especially if it gets re-subbed or dubbed with dialog that has no relationship to the original whatsoever.
 
2013-11-04 11:49:49 AM

Slaves2Darkness: Dwindle: God help us if the Chinese ever start innovating things.

Funny you should mention that. The Chinese have actually started programs to try and teach creativity to their scientists.


That's going to be hard when the entire culture is aimed at making sure people fit in. It's pretty hard to get creativity and innovation while simultaneously cracking down on people who get out of line and rock the boat.
 
2013-11-04 11:51:15 AM

jshine: me texan: This is going to be a cult classic in the US.  Mark my words.

Maybe -- especially if it gets re-subbed or dubbed with dialog that has no relationship to the original whatsoever.


I bet somewhere.. someone will dub it with the original Top Gun audio.
 
2013-11-04 11:55:36 AM

akula: Slaves2Darkness: Dwindle: God help us if the Chinese ever start innovating things.

Funny you should mention that. The Chinese have actually started programs to try and teach creativity to their scientists.

That's going to be hard when the entire culture is aimed at making sure people fit in. It's pretty hard to get creativity and innovation while simultaneously cracking down on people who get out of line and rock the boat.


http://www.theonion.com/articles/apple-employee-fired-for-thinking-d if ferent,773/
 
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