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(Onion AV Club)   The porn parody of "A Game of Thrones", cleverly titled "A Game of Bones", might be the first time that the original is more perverted than the porno version   (avclub.com) divider line 52
    More: Amusing, Cersei, S.F.W., 2013 and beyond in film, bones  
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4872 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Nov 2013 at 12:32 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-03 12:36:48 PM
They cut the incest out? Why do they hate royalty?
 
2013-11-03 12:47:05 PM
The Human Centipede parody broke that barrier years ago.
 
2013-11-03 12:51:37 PM
There's no "might" about this.  Martin has this thing about young girls and forced sex.
 
2013-11-03 12:52:14 PM
The Spartacus porn begs to differ
 
2013-11-03 12:56:39 PM
The porn industry has to avoid certain taboos because it knows that the moral majority will seize on them, like incest, coercion etc.
 
2013-11-03 12:58:50 PM

Flappyhead: There's no "might" about this.  Martin has this thing about young girls and forced sex.


And killing people for no reason. He has bad guys kill people for no good reason. He must be into it.
 
2013-11-03 01:03:14 PM
The porn industry already made Martin's type of porn.  And almost had to shut down when Traci Lords talked.
 
2013-11-03 01:14:49 PM

you are a puppet: The Spartacus porn begs to differ


You mean the Starz show, right? everybody was farking everyone on that show, plus Lucy Lawless boobies ftw.

On the GoT thing, yeah, the books are pretty smut heavy already, Dany's brother is all fondling with underaged her; Cercei and Jaime are popping out incestuous kids; Dothraki are raping and pillaging; the King was busy boning everything with tits; and hell, even Sam and Jon Snow are getting their biscuits warmed up by hotties in the frozen North.

So unless they tangent off into freaky deaky tranny porn or something, I can't see it being more shocking than what you see on the HBO show anyway. Hot tasteful sexing is better than just two naked folks bumping uglies for the sake of it, imo.
 
2013-11-03 01:15:29 PM
Nothing pornographic, but watching Theon Greyjoy get horribly tortured was pretty disturbing, IMHO.

/ I'm sure many Americans would be more disturbed by the T & A that HBO throws in there
 
2013-11-03 01:17:55 PM

Flappyhead: There's no "might" about this.  Martin has this thing about young girls and forced sex.


I missed that part, but I've only read the first three books.  Who are you referring to?
 
2013-11-03 01:48:44 PM
Game of Bones? More like Game of shiat!
 
2013-11-03 01:52:03 PM
If the showrunners really want to put the makers of this smut in their place, they'd devote the entire season 4 premiere to a drunken underwear tickle fight between Natalie Dormer and Rose Leslie.

They do that, and America wins. Although there will probably still be some whiners complaining that it isn't in the books, but fark them.
 
2013-11-03 01:55:45 PM

Flappyhead: There's no "might" about this.  Martin has this thing about young girls and forced sex.


Oh please. Like Martin invented it. You know who has a thing about forced sex and young girls? Our species. It always has.
 
2013-11-03 02:27:25 PM

The Larch: Flappyhead: There's no "might" about this.  Martin has this thing about young girls and forced sex.

I missed that part, but I've only read the first three books.  Who are you referring to?


Daenerys. She was 13 when she was sold to Drogo as a bride.
 
2013-11-03 02:33:59 PM

carnifex2005: The Larch: Flappyhead: There's no "might" about this.  Martin has this thing about young girls and forced sex.

I missed that part, but I've only read the first three books.  Who are you referring to?

Daenerys. She was 13 when she was sold to Drogo as a bride.


Hard to say if that's a thing of his, or a thing about the middle ages.
 
2013-11-03 02:37:04 PM
 
2013-11-03 02:44:03 PM

houstondragon: hotties in the frozen North


Either you didn't read the books or you have British daily fail standards of hotness.
 
2013-11-03 02:45:54 PM

J. Frank Parnell: Hard to say if that's a thing of his, or a thing about the middle ages.


Oh, c'mon.  Of all the things to get realistic over and child brides are justified because it's realistic?

The guy's writing an epic where technology hasn't changed in millenia, seasons last for years, zombies and dragons roam the earth, some basic principles of economics don't compute but we gotta get the farking right.

Writing, particularly pedantic writing like GRRM's in particular, involves very conscious decisions regarding what to be realistic about, or included at all.  The argument that GoT contains child bride sex because of historical accuracy is by far the weakest possible argument one can make.  I'd have much less of a problem if someone claimed it was because it was an integral part of her character development.
 
2013-11-03 02:50:59 PM
If it was common in the middle ages, you can't really claim he dreamed it up to fulfill some fetish by including it in a medieval themed story. That's all.
 
2013-11-03 03:17:00 PM

farkeruk: The porn industry has to avoid certain taboos because it knows that the moral majority will seize on them, like incest, coercion etc.


The Star Wars porn parody had Luke and Leia boning each other. They decided that, since they were both adopted, they weren't related, and they could have sex with each other.

/Mos Eisly spaceport: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
//Believe me, I tried.
 
2013-11-03 03:26:24 PM

batlock666: They decided that, since they were both adopted, they weren't related, and they could have sex with each other.


ah, like that porn about "I'm farking my stepsister" that isn't at all creepy.
 
2013-11-03 03:29:29 PM

TappingTheVein: It's not porn.. (NSFW)


That was fantastic. Thank you.
 
2013-11-03 03:30:10 PM

dragonchild: Oh, c'mon. Of all the things to get realistic over and child brides are justified because it's realistic?


To be fair, a lot of the sexual mores in the world he's created are accurate to the Middle Ages, from casual buggery between knights and pages to the public demand to see a wedding consummated, ranging from the public presentation of soiled bedclothes to (yes indeed) having the community watch the young couple going at it.  And this sort of behavior wasn't limited to the upper classes; some of these traditions only died out in rural parts of Europe in the decades around 1900.

/by the late Middle Ages a number of the important courts weren't marrying their kids at 12 or 13; they were having them legally bound as soon as they were born and appeared healthy.  Of course, children in that era died so astonishingly quickly that the weddings were rarely consummated, but Henry VIII in particular made huge sums of money off of marrying off his various offspring, so the point that trying to follow the machinations makes your head spin.
 
2013-11-03 03:46:49 PM

farkeruk: The porn industry has to avoid certain taboos because it knows that the moral majority will seize on them, like incest, coercion etc.


You do realize that there is a relatively famous porn series called Taboo, which is all about incest, right?
 
2013-11-03 03:50:39 PM

Telos: farkeruk: The porn industry has to avoid certain taboos because it knows that the moral majority will seize on them, like incest, coercion etc.

You do realize that there is a relatively famous porn series called Taboo, which is all about incest, right?


Which was made in the late 70s when porn was just about becoming legal. There's also some films around the same time that include coercion and smoking weed. But you'll struggle to find any of that in the sort of porn on a subscription site or DVD shop.
 
2013-11-03 03:57:29 PM

farkeruk: Which was made in the late 70s when porn was just about becoming legal. There's also some films around the same time that include coercion and smoking weed. But you'll struggle to find any of that in the sort of porn on a subscription site or DVD shop.


That's because anything that hints at those sorts of things is more or less illegal to distribute today.  During the Bush administration John Ashcroft worked full-out to make porn illegal in this country by going after anyone who produced anything that was considered offensive or distasteful.
 
2013-11-03 04:12:07 PM
As I mentioned earlier this year when news of a GoT porn parody was coming out, it would be ironic if the porn role of Armeca was played by Sahara Knite, who is IRL a porn actress.

www.theironthrone.it
 
2013-11-03 04:12:10 PM

Flappyhead: There's no "might" about this.  Martin has this thing about young girls and forced sex.


NTTAWWT
 
2013-11-03 04:17:28 PM

Dwight_Yeast: dragonchild: Oh, c'mon. Of all the things to get realistic over and child brides are justified because it's realistic?

To be fair, a lot of the sexual mores in the world he's created are accurate to the Middle Ages, from casual buggery between knights and pages to the public demand to see a wedding consummated, ranging from the public presentation of soiled bedclothes to (yes indeed) having the community watch the young couple going at it.  And this sort of behavior wasn't limited to the upper classes; some of these traditions only died out in rural parts of Europe in the decades around 1900.

/by the late Middle Ages a number of the important courts weren't marrying their kids at 12 or 13; they were having them legally bound as soon as they were born and appeared healthy.  Of course, children in that era died so astonishingly quickly that the weddings were rarely consummated, but Henry VIII in particular made huge sums of money off of marrying off his various offspring, so the point that trying to follow the machinations makes your head spin.


And in GRRM's defense, while he was trying to make it realistic as far as how young people got pushed into adult situations back then, he has stated that in hindsight he should have aged up the young characters in the book to be more akin to the ages of the characters in the TV series.
 
2013-11-03 04:25:39 PM

carnifex2005: And in GRRM's defense, while he was trying to make it realistic as far as how young people got pushed into adult situations back then, he has stated that in hindsight he should have aged up the young characters in the book to be more akin to the ages of the characters in the TV series.


The other part of it people biatching about it are ignoring is the fact that in the Middle Ages (or in any place with questionable sanitation and limited medical care) you're going to be dead by 35.  So if you get married and have kids you have to start in your early teens if you want any hope of seeing your kids live to be old enough to marry and have families of their own.

The idea of waiting until 16 or 18 to marry was a product of the early Industrial Revolution, when both sanitation and nutrition improved allowing people to live longer.  We're seeing another jump, from people having kids in their 20s to people having kids in their 30s as modern medicine is assuring us that we'll all pretty much live into our 70s and many people are living into their 90s.
 
2013-11-03 04:32:00 PM

pueblonative: houstondragon: hotties in the frozen North

Either you didn't read the books or you have British daily fail standards of hotness.


You know nothing, pueblonative!

/Okay, granted they're not Dany hot
//Or Natalie Dormer (Tudors boobies, ftw)
///Slashies!!!
 
2013-11-03 04:49:22 PM

Dwight_Yeast: farkeruk: Which was made in the late 70s when porn was just about becoming legal. There's also some films around the same time that include coercion and smoking weed. But you'll struggle to find any of that in the sort of porn on a subscription site or DVD shop.

That's because anything that hints at those sorts of things is more or less illegal to distribute today.  During the Bush administration John Ashcroft worked full-out to make porn illegal in this country by going after anyone who produced anything that was considered offensive or distasteful.


A quick porn site search of "daddy" or "mom" or "daughter" or "son" brings up plenty of modern stuff that hovers around the point of being fake incest porn.The stuff is out there and I don't see anyone being arrested for making it.
 
2013-11-03 04:54:35 PM

Dwight_Yeast: The other part of it people biatching about it are ignoring is the fact that in the Middle Ages (or in any place with questionable sanitation and limited medical care) you're going to be dead by 35.  So if you get married and have kids you have to start in your early teens if you want any hope of seeing your kids live to be old enough to marry and have families of their own.


Not exactly. There's a difference between life expectancy at birth and life expectancy once you reach adulthood. Life expectancy at birth was very low simply because so many babies died.

The idea of waiting until 16 or 18 to marry was a product of the early Industrial Revolution, when both sanitation and nutrition improved allowing people to live longer.  We're seeing another jump, from people having kids in their 20s to people having kids in their 30s as modern medicine is assuring us that we'll all pretty much live into our 70s and many people are living into their 90s.

Not exactly. Children are more expensive to raise the more advanced your nation's economy is, so people (hopefully) hold off having children until they've saved up more money. Plus, 50 years ago you could quit school after grade 10 and got a job; now you need to stay in school til 25 earning worthless pieces of paper just to get a job paying the same wage.
 
2013-11-03 04:55:37 PM
Mmmmmm Claire Robbins....
 
2013-11-03 05:12:38 PM

Dwight_Yeast: farkeruk: Which was made in the late 70s when porn was just about becoming legal. There's also some films around the same time that include coercion and smoking weed. But you'll struggle to find any of that in the sort of porn on a subscription site or DVD shop.

That's because anything that hints at those sorts of things is more or less illegal to distribute today.  During the Bush administration John Ashcroft worked full-out to make porn illegal in this country by going after anyone who produced anything that was considered offensive or distasteful.


If by "worked full-out to make porn illegal" you mean "enforced the Child Pornography Prevrention Act of 1996" then, sure.  Of course, that resulted in Ashcroft v. Free Speech Coalition which resulted in the Supreme Court reaffirming that we in the United States have a Constitutional right to pornography.
 
2013-11-03 05:27:19 PM

meanmutton: Of course, that resulted in Ashcroft v. Free Speech Coalition which resulted in the Supreme Court reaffirming that we in the United States have a Constitutional right to pornography.


http://i.minus.com/ibihbK0KoAbobF.gif
 
2013-11-03 05:28:10 PM

farkeruk: Telos: farkeruk: The porn industry has to avoid certain taboos because it knows that the moral majority will seize on them, like incest, coercion etc.

You do realize that there is a relatively famous porn series called Taboo, which is all about incest, right?

Which was made in the late 70s when porn was just about becoming legal. There's also some films around the same time that include coercion and smoking weed. But you'll struggle to find any of that in the sort of porn on a subscription site or DVD shop.


Well, I admittedly wouldn't know anything about the paid porn sites... but on the free sites there's plenty of everything from incest to rape.  Also according to Google there was a new Taboo movie as recently as 2007.

Why isn't there an IMDB for porn?  Or is there, and I just don't know what it is?
 
2013-11-03 05:37:50 PM

Telos: Why isn't there an IMDB for porn?


Because nobody watches all the way to the credits?
 
2013-11-03 05:39:03 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Not exactly. Children are more expensive to raise the more advanced your nation's economy is, so people (hopefully) hold off having children until they've saved up more money. Plus, 50 years ago you could quit school after grade 10 and got a job; now you need to stay in school til 25 earning worthless pieces of paper just to get a job paying the same wage.


That's an idiotic proposition and I hope you really don't believe that.

I will give you this: once people in India started receiving basic healthcare, the number of children dropped because they weren't having six or eight in the hopes that two or three would survive.
 
2013-11-03 05:45:59 PM

ZeroCorpse: A quick porn site search of "daddy" or "mom" or "daughter" or "son" brings up plenty of modern stuff that hovers around the point of being fake incest porn.The stuff is out there and I don't see anyone being arrested for making it.


They get away with something like incest because it's roleplay and while taboo, having two people play "father" and "daughter" is harmless.

What they went after was companies which produced fetish or "rape" videos where the participants were willing and acting, playing their roles, but apparently fairly believable.  It was akin to Anthony Hopkins for being a serial killer because he was so good at playing one.  The companies they put out of business were small indie studios, so the big-time porn producers turned a blind eye, as they wanted rid of the competition.

And like someone pointed out, Ashcroft got shut down when one of the cases finally made it to the Supremes.  But the result today is that porn produced now is much less edgy than stuff done thirty years ago, and a pornographic film could never explore or even hint at some of the stuff covered on GoT.
 
2013-11-03 05:52:53 PM

Telos: Why isn't there an IMDB for porn? Or is there, and I just don't know what it is?


http://www.iafd.com/
 
2013-11-03 05:54:21 PM

batlock666: farkeruk: The porn industry has to avoid certain taboos because it knows that the moral majority will seize on them, like incest, coercion etc.

The Star Wars porn parody had Luke and Leia boning each other. They decided that, since they were both adopted, they weren't related, and they could have sex with each other.

/Mos Eisly spaceport: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
//Believe me, I tried.


I'm confused. Luke and Leia are biological fraternal twins. Did the porn version change that or make them not know that? Or was it that they decided their bio-relation didn't matter because they didn't grow up together?
 
2013-11-03 06:19:40 PM

TappingTheVein: It's not porn.. (NSFW)


That was pretty awesome.
 
2013-11-03 06:47:00 PM

J. Frank Parnell: If it was common in the middle ages, you can't really claim he dreamed it up to fulfill some fetish by including it in a medieval themed story. That's all.


Hell, grandma was married and pregnant at 15 - that was during WWII.

And if I can paraphrase Niven/Stirling - there's a word for people who think an author believes what his characters believe; "idiot".
 
2013-11-03 08:22:59 PM

Dwight_Yeast: carnifex2005: And in GRRM's defense, while he was trying to make it realistic as far as how young people got pushed into adult situations back then, he has stated that in hindsight he should have aged up the young characters in the book to be more akin to the ages of the characters in the TV series.

The other part of it people biatching about it are ignoring is the fact that in the Middle Ages (or in any place with questionable sanitation and limited medical care) you're going to be dead by 35.  So if you get married and have kids you have to start in your early teens if you want any hope of seeing your kids live to be old enough to marry and have families of their own.

The idea of waiting until 16 or 18 to marry was a product of the early Industrial Revolution, when both sanitation and nutrition improved allowing people to live longer.  We're seeing another jump, from people having kids in their 20s to people having kids in their 30s as modern medicine is assuring us that we'll all pretty much live into our 70s and many people are living into their 90s.


This is unbelievably false. Every part of it. If someone made it into their teens in the middle ages, they commonly lived to their 60s or 70s. Child mortality was incredibly high which is what skews the "average life expectancy", but once you got past childhood you had very good chances to a long life. If you go to rural China or Romania, where they live a lot like they did 600 years ago, it is the same.

Children weren't marred at 12 or 13. ROYAL children were and that was for political and financial reasons. But the average age of marriage for a peasant to marry was in the early 20's during the early medieval period. Yes, that late. Most families were agricultural, and there wasn't a need to push children "out" into marriage. They were needed on the farms. In urban areas, women did generally marry a bit younger, but not as young as 14. (The average was 16-18 in rural areas), BUT in those areas, the age of men went up to the late 20s as financial independence was harder to accomplish.

The Industrial Age actually pushed the average age of marriage DOWN, not up. Good economic times tend to do that. Post 1750 showed a massive population increase almost entirely due to much lower accepted ages of marriage. In fact, the 1940s and 1950s were actually the lowest in recent history, even lower than the Victoria era: at around 19 for women and 22 for men. It didn't start going up again until the 1970s
 
2013-11-03 08:43:28 PM

houstondragon: pueblonative: houstondragon: hotties in the frozen North

Either you didn't read the books or you have British daily fail standards of hotness.

You know nothing, pueblonative!

/Okay, granted they're not Dany hot
//Or Natalie Dormer (Tudors boobies, ftw)
///Slashies!!!


I'm guessing the only reason Jon went down on Ygrette was that those lips were only slightly revolting and he had less risk of having his tongue cut up with snaggleteeth.
 
2013-11-03 09:02:13 PM

J. Frank Parnell: carnifex2005: The Larch: Flappyhead: There's no "might" about this.  Martin has this thing about young girls and forced sex.

I missed that part, but I've only read the first three books.  Who are you referring to?

Daenerys. She was 13 when she was sold to Drogo as a bride.

Hard to say if that's a thing of his, or a thing about the middle ages.


Yeah that's really not important.  Between Danny, Tyrions first love getting gang raped at 14 and Sansa living in perpetual fear of whatever the hell Joffrey felt like doing to her it's pretty obvious Martin seems to like having gratuitous sex involving young girls.
 
2013-11-03 09:03:23 PM

dragonchild: J. Frank Parnell: Hard to say if that's a thing of his, or a thing about the middle ages.

Oh, c'mon.  Of all the things to get realistic over and child brides are justified because it's realistic?

The guy's writing an epic where technology hasn't changed in millenia, seasons last for years, zombies and dragons roam the earth, some basic principles of economics don't compute but we gotta get the farking right.

Writing, particularly pedantic writing like GRRM's in particular, involves very conscious decisions regarding what to be realistic about, or included at all.  The argument that GoT contains child bride sex because of historical accuracy is by far the weakest possible argument one can make.  I'd have much less of a problem if someone claimed it was because it was an integral part of her character development.


The whole point of how he's written the books is to show what a world with things like dragons and zombies would ACTUALLY be like. It's a realistic fantasy world, and what he's depicted is realistic to the way a medieval society with a little bit of magic would work. If you don't like what it shows, blame humanity because that's pretty much what we were doing back then. The political intrigues of the book are based very heavily on historical events. And it shows pretty accurately exactly WHY it was so hard for women to gain political equality, when women were just as clever and ambitious as men are.
 
2013-11-04 07:34:09 AM

The Larch: Flappyhead: There's no "might" about this.  Martin has this thing about young girls and forced sex.

I missed that part, but I've only read the first three books.  Who are you referring to?


________ of House __________
 
2013-11-04 07:55:44 AM
Wasn't Shae a porn actress early on as well?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibel_Kekilli
 
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