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(io9)   A look back at how all the toys of the 80s were supposed to make us all Satanic   (io9.com) divider line 48
    More: Amusing, game pieces, satanists  
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4428 clicks; posted to Video » on 31 Oct 2013 at 7:05 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-31 06:04:28 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com

blogsofalek.files.wordpress.com

www.x-entertainment.com
 
2013-10-31 06:08:16 PM
Supposed to?

Subby. There's no supposed to about it. Playing with 80s toys gave me a direct link to our (Yes, even yours - you just don't know it yet...) Dark Lord and Master Satan.

farm9.staticflickr.com

Our dark Lord knows when you've been sleeping. He knows that you're awake. He knows that you touch yourself to weird Japanese fetish shiat.

1-media-cdn.foolz.us

It doesn't matter if you're bad or good. He's going to eat your soul anyway.

images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-10-31 06:28:07 PM
He-Man I've heard before.  Star Wars as well (the Force) and the Legend of Zelda (magic potions and magic sword).  The best was the satanic messages hidden in heavy metal music.  You could only hear them if you played the record backwards at 45 rpm.  Fortunately, Satan couldn't figure out how to get though messages onto CD's and MP3's.  You're welcome Millennials.
 
2013-10-31 06:35:17 PM
static.dreamstime.com

erikatanith.files.wordpress.com

twoheadednerd.com
 
2013-10-31 06:38:22 PM
I guess it doesn't matter to these idiots that there IS no such thing as 'satan' in the craft....?
 
2013-10-31 06:44:11 PM
Religious f*cktards being religious f*cktards, some things never change.
 
2013-10-31 07:06:50 PM
As a child of the 80s, I remember these lunatics well. I would like to thank them for turning me away from all forms of religion at a very young age. They did more to keep Jesus out of my life than D&D could ever dream of.
 
2013-10-31 07:39:35 PM
I always consulted my Ouija board before throwing the dice in D&D.

Until it instructed me to use a fire spell on a red dragon that is.

/Farking Ouija board.
 
2013-10-31 07:46:27 PM
Everybody satanic?
 
2013-10-31 07:50:45 PM
Holy crap, I never laughed so hard in my life.  Glad I grew up in the 70s, and was safe in  my childhood from these demon toys!!!!   Oh wait... Yoda is from satan???   D'oh!!!

Where are these two losers at these days?  Westhomo Baptist Church of Stupidity?  Or snortin' coke off a hookers dead @ss probably.

Amen!
 
2013-10-31 08:30:15 PM
Urgh! Don't remind me. These religiously deluded pinheads in the late 70s and early 80s fought tooth and nail to kill my favorite hobby (D&D). They even sent their bile-spewing minions to crowd a Parks and Recreation Committee meeting in order to prohibit people from playing D&D at any Park & Rec facility. The inaptly-named "moral majority" even tried going after the schools to prevent students from playing the game at school during lunch. Fortunately, the school administration at the time were neither amused nor threatened by ignorant religious bigots. In a burst of rationality quite rare now, the School Board for our district publicly told the god-botherers, "As far as we can tell, the game encourages imagination, problem solving, and reading. Why on Earth would anyone object to anything which encourages students to do that?"

I remember getting interviewed by the local paper at age 16 during the Park & Rec fiasco. I was even quoted, saying, "All the people at my school who play are the smartest kids." Which was true, but I was then naive enough to believe that this would make a difference to the dominionist bullshiat artists.

So great job, immoral minority. You made the best and brightest in one Northern California community realize early on exactly how full of shiat your pathetic belief system is. You also taught us to vigorously oppose your stupidity at every turn. And we all vote that opposition. Every time. You must be proud of that achievement.

/Still bitter
//Mind Your Own Damned Business, religiously deluded farkwits
 
2013-10-31 08:35:08 PM

swaniefrmreddeer: Religious f*cktards being religious f*cktards, some things never change.


Well, except back in the 80s the kind of magical thinking represented in the video was allowed to perpetuate almost unchecked among churches.

I heard the "D&D is a tool of the devil" speech far, far too many times growing up.

You'll still get an irate tool rambling on about Harry Potter nowadays, but that's nothing compared to the wharrgarbl that used to exist.
 
2013-10-31 08:41:02 PM
That's depressing, so what am I supposed to blame my life on now?
 
2013-10-31 08:47:36 PM

Weaver95: I guess it doesn't matter to these idiots that there IS no such thing as 'satan' in the craft....?


I, respectfully, disagree. With all the pain and suffering caused by these wacko 'preachers', I posit that they themselves are the embodiment of 'Satan' (Satan being an idea rather than an actual being). That their actions and influence turned more people away from God then the toys/shows that they blamed ever did.

/the message was 'be nice and help others' and not 'be prideful and arrogant dickheads'
//these guys were the 'mustard seeds' of the Tea Party
///don't believe in an 'ism', believe in yourself
 
2013-10-31 08:47:41 PM

Glitchwerks: I heard the "D&D is a tool of the devil" speech far, far too many times growing up.

You'll still get an irate tool rambling on about Harry Potter nowadays, but that's nothing compared to the wharrgarbl that used to exist.


I wish i could remember the name of the movie or TV special or whatever where D&D leads to some guy stabbing someone.
 
2013-10-31 08:47:52 PM

Wenchmaster: Urgh! Don't remind me. These religiously deluded pinheads in the late 70s and early 80s fought tooth and nail to kill my favorite hobby (D&D). They even sent their bile-spewing minions to crowd a Parks and Recreation Committee meeting in order to prohibit people from playing D&D at any Park & Rec facility. The inaptly-named "moral majority" even tried going after the schools to prevent students from playing the game at school during lunch. Fortunately, the school administration at the time were neither amused nor threatened by ignorant religious bigots. In a burst of rationality quite rare now, the School Board for our district publicly told the god-botherers, "As far as we can tell, the game encourages imagination, problem solving, and reading. Why on Earth would anyone object to anything which encourages students to do that?"

I remember getting interviewed by the local paper at age 16 during the Park & Rec fiasco. I was even quoted, saying, "All the people at my school who play are the smartest kids." Which was true, but I was then naive enough to believe that this would make a difference to the dominionist bullshiat artists.

So great job, immoral minority. You made the best and brightest in one Northern California community realize early on exactly how full of shiat your pathetic belief system is. You also taught us to vigorously oppose your stupidity at every turn. And we all vote that opposition. Every time. You must be proud of that achievement.

/Still bitter
//Mind Your Own Damned Business, religiously deluded farkwits


It is true and shouldn't be overlooked that while we laugh and laugh at these pinheads now, they once (and still are) a strong political voice in this country.
 
2013-10-31 08:49:59 PM
But... I already sacrificed the chicken.

drpinna.com
 
2013-10-31 08:50:06 PM
And let us never forget Geraldo's excellent show that sent middle America into a panic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgV9K-1_mV8">http://www.youtube.com/w atch?v=VgV9K-1_mV8
 
2013-10-31 09:04:10 PM

pjbreeze: That's depressing, so what am I supposed to blame my life on now?


simply-showbiz.com
 
2013-10-31 09:27:43 PM

Wenchmaster: "As far as we can tell, the game encourages imagination, problem solving, and reading. Why on Earth would anyone object to anything which encourages students to do that?"


img1.fark.net
 
2013-10-31 09:38:28 PM
I'm really the first??

Slipping, Fark.

Dungeons and Dragons: SATAN'S GAME!
 
2013-10-31 10:24:31 PM
Snort. Curly haired guy said stone hedge.

Wow I never knew you supposed to burn the dice.
 
2013-10-31 10:51:31 PM
Circa 1984,, I remember there was a Presbyterian church that had an "expert" on how music was corrupting the youth.  I attended with my band mates (we all played heavy metal...I played guitar...Gibson SG) for shiats and grins.  Basically, the guy went off on almost all music from pop to metal as Satanic...such evil artists as Michael Jackson (if they only knew Billy Jean was about a little boy) to the Eagles (ZOMG Hotel California!).  Of course, I found it most amusing when he went after my favorite bands at the time, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, AC/DC and Slayer.  I left there LOLing with my bandmates as we went back to the drummer's house and jammed all of our favorites.
 
2013-10-31 11:43:09 PM

slayer199: Circa 1984,, I remember there was a Presbyterian church that had an "expert" on how music was corrupting the youth.  I attended with my band mates (we all played heavy metal...I played guitar...Gibson SG) for shiats and grins.  Basically, the guy went off on almost all music from pop to metal as Satanic...such evil artists as Michael Jackson (if they only knew Billy Jean was about a little boy) to the Eagles (ZOMG Hotel California!).  Of course, I found it most amusing when he went after my favorite bands at the time, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, AC/DC and Slayer.  I left there LOLing with my bandmates as we went back to the drummer's house and jammed all of our favorites.


Channel 50 in Kansas City used to be the Christian station and these guys were on there all the time.  At first, they limited themselves to heavy metal, mostly Black Sabbath and KISS (Knights in Satan's Service).  After a while though, the effect started to wear off since Christians generally didn't listen to heavy metal, so they moved into pop music.  Even that wasn't enough though, so they started finding satanic messages in "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" and the Mr. Ed theme song (I wish I was exaggerating).  At that point, pretty much every collectively decided that the whole thing had gotten too silly so it just disappeared one day.  Now Ozzy Osbourne is a reality show hero, Alice Cooper is a golfing Christian, Metallica cut their hair and went mainstream, and KISS became camp.  Satan's greatest trick was convincing the world that vinyl was evil.
 
2013-10-31 11:53:27 PM

Wenchmaster: Urgh! Don't remind me. These religiously deluded pinheads in the late 70s and early 80s fought tooth and nail to kill my favorite hobby (D&D).


They moved on to infect and kill the GOP.
 
2013-11-01 12:09:24 AM

Mentat: At first, they limited themselves to heavy metal, mostly Black Sabbath and KISS (Knights in Satan's Service).


Oh yeah, I remember that. W.A.S.P. was an acronym for We Are Sexual Perverts. AC/DC stood for After Christ/Devil's Child. It was amusing what they could come up with.

Remember the PMRC?
 
2013-11-01 12:11:58 AM

J. Frank Parnell: I wish i could remember the name of the movie or TV special or whatever where D&D leads to some guy stabbing someone.

 
2013-11-01 12:12:43 AM
The irony is that these douchebags are the ones who believe there is actual power in all that "occult" stuff, when the folks they think are being corrupted don't.

/The Smurfs?  Really?

//And Darth Vader looks absolutely nothing like Odin.
 
2013-11-01 12:12:44 AM
IMAGE FAIL!

That post was supposed to contain a pic of Mazes & Monsters.
 
2013-11-01 12:20:35 AM

Glitchwerks: IMAGE FAIL!

That post was supposed to contain a pic of Mazes & Monsters.


Tom Hanks? I'll have to watch that again.

From the wiki: drawing maps that will lead him to a sacred person he has seen in his dreams called the Great Hall. In his dream, the Great Hall tells him to go to the Two Towers.

Masonic stuff out of nowhere.
 
2013-11-01 12:38:25 AM
J. Frank Parnell:
I wish i could remember the name of the movie or TV special or whatever where D&D leads to some guy stabbing someone.

Any relation to Eric, the guy that attacked the gazebo?
 
2013-11-01 12:39:08 AM
 Some crazy rumor got started in my small biblebelt town that there was going to be a Satanic gathering on Halloween in my hometown.   Rumors were even started that the Satanists were going to kidnap and sacrifice a blonde haired, blue eyed virgin teenage girl to the devil .  The entire town was in a panic, and a figurative witch hunt ensued.  Some poor metal burnout stoner kids and their families actually  picked up their things and moved because they were were constantly harassed because they "looked" like they might be   Satanists.   I remember feeling really sorry for them at the time, but considering the rest of us were stuck in that insufferable shiathole through our formative years   the joke was probably on us.
 
2013-11-01 12:42:02 AM

DigitalCoffee: Any relation to Eric, the guy that attacked the gazebo?


Heh. Maybe distantly.
 
2013-11-01 01:14:38 AM
I only watched 8 seconds of that video. I'm still laughing at "He-Man is more powerful that Jesus Christ."
 
2013-11-01 04:39:46 AM

the801: [static.dreamstime.com image 400x300]

[erikatanith.files.wordpress.com image 400x207]

[twoheadednerd.com image 450x338]


Elfstar? Satan would kick her ass for even thinking she can get in with that lame moniker.
 
2013-11-01 05:07:21 AM

Glitchwerks: J. Frank Parnell: I wish i could remember the name of the movie or TV special or whatever where D&D leads to some guy stabbing someone.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khQD9c_CNKY
 
2013-11-01 05:47:45 AM

J. Frank Parnell: Glitchwerks: I heard the "D&D is a tool of the devil" speech far, far too many times growing up.

You'll still get an irate tool rambling on about Harry Potter nowadays, but that's nothing compared to the wharrgarbl that used to exist.

I wish i could remember the name of the movie or TV special or whatever where D&D leads to some guy stabbing someone.


blogofholding.com
This one, with Tom Hanks?

n.b5z.net

Or this one, with a young Gwyneth Paltrow?
 
2013-11-01 05:51:40 AM
I had to stop when they got to the Smurfs. You turn blue when you die? Seriously? Dumbasses.
 
2013-11-01 07:35:52 AM

J. Frank Parnell: I wish i could remember the name of the movie or TV special or whatever where D&D leads to some guy stabbing someone.


*GASP*

How dare you, sir.  Mr. Tom Hanks is a national treasure, not "some guy".
 
2013-11-01 09:19:24 AM

Whatthefark: Mentat: At first, they limited themselves to heavy metal, mostly Black Sabbath and KISS (Knights in Satan's Service).

Oh yeah, I remember that. W.A.S.P. was an acronym for We Are Sexual Perverts. AC/DC stood for After Christ/Devil's Child. It was amusing what they could come up with.

Remember the PMRC?


F is for Fighting
R is for Red!
 ancestor's blood in battle they shed
E we elect them
E we eject them
 land of the free and home of the brave
D is for dying
O your overture
M we'll cover you grave with manure

This spells out freedom, it means nothing to me
as long as we have the PMRC...

And where is old long hair now.....

Of you just go with Ice T: "fark Tipper Gore, Bush and his cripple biatch! "
 
2013-11-01 09:58:19 AM

Weaver95: I guess it doesn't matter to these idiots that there IS no such thing as 'satan' in the craft....?


DigitalCoffee: Weaver95: I guess it doesn't matter to these idiots that there IS no such thing as 'satan' in the craft....?

I, respectfully, disagree. With all the pain and suffering caused by these wacko 'preachers', I posit that they themselves are the embodiment of 'Satan' (Satan being an idea rather than an actual being). That their actions and influence turned more people away from God then the toys/shows that they blamed ever did.

/the message was 'be nice and help others' and not 'be prideful and arrogant dickheads'
//these guys were the 'mustard seeds' of the Tea Party
///don't believe in an 'ism', believe in yourself


Satan; "the accuser" or "the questioner."

Doesn't matter anyway, anything that takes away from "God's glory" is Satanic.

Fark is Satanic.
 
2013-11-01 12:26:47 PM

InmanRoshi: Some crazy rumor got started in my small biblebelt town that there was going to be a Satanic gathering on Halloween in my hometown.   Rumors were even started that the Satanists were going to kidnap and sacrifice a blonde haired, blue eyed virgin teenage girl to the devil .  The entire town was in a panic, and a figurative witch hunt ensued.  Some poor metal burnout stoner kids and their families actually  picked up their things and moved because they were were constantly harassed because they "looked" like they might be   Satanists.   I remember feeling really sorry for them at the time, but considering the rest of us were stuck in that insufferable shiathole through our formative years   the joke was probably on us.


Joke was on them.  There are no virgins in small towns.
 
2013-11-01 02:17:23 PM
Necromology, the witchcraft practice of communicating with the dead, like Jesus is.
 
2013-11-01 03:01:59 PM
i'm listening to "Stairway to Heaven" backwards right now so i'm really getting a kick out of this thread.
 
2013-11-01 04:03:12 PM
What are those guys doing now?


Several of the commenters said it completely destroyed their religious belief.
 
2013-11-01 05:08:08 PM

Mentat: and KISS became camp


KISS was always camp, but during the 70s, nobody understood what camp  was. It was a terrible,  terrible decade.
 
2013-11-01 06:22:36 PM

t3knomanser: Mentat: and KISS became camp

KISS was always camp, but during the 70s, nobody understood what camp  was. It was a terrible,  terrible decade.


Awesome decade for music though.
 
2013-11-02 12:31:55 AM

Whatthefark: Mentat: At first, they limited themselves to heavy metal, mostly Black Sabbath and KISS (Knights in Satan's Service).

Oh yeah, I remember that. W.A.S.P. was an acronym for We Are Sexual Perverts. AC/DC stood for After Christ/Devil's Child. It was amusing what they could come up with.

Remember the PMRC?


Rulers Under Satan's House, man.

i.neoseeker.com

It's a pentagram, and witches use those.  And they have a song called "Witch Hunt," which is about looking for witches to join.
 
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