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(Economist)   Why do Floridians commit so many weird crimes? "We have a lot of stupid people here. There seems to be some kind of rule that you can't come to our state if you're normal"   (economist.com) divider line 42
    More: Florida, Floridians, stupidity, Floridians commit, Sunshine State  
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3943 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2013 at 3:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-31 03:11:35 PM  
Hey, I moved to Florida, and I'm normal.

/Well, normal-ish.
 
2013-10-31 03:13:32 PM  
New Jersey.

That is all.
 
2013-10-31 03:14:08 PM  
I moved to Florida too, but fled back to CT after a year.

/never recovered
 
2013-10-31 03:15:36 PM  
Normality is overrated.

/43 years in FL
 
2013-10-31 03:19:46 PM  
Florida is America's America.

What I mean by that is that Florida, just like America, is full of people that are from "somewhere else".
So we get this big, strange, cultural stew.

I personally love it.

Florida offers a great quality of life, and I've lived in many places.
 
2013-10-31 03:20:02 PM  

Cybernetic: Hey, I moved to Florida, and I'm normal.

/Well, normal-ish.


You won't be for long. I've had friends move there and it definitely happened to them.
 
2013-10-31 03:20:27 PM  
Yeah, it's the people who MOVE there that cause the problems. Really? There are no native Floridians??
 
2013-10-31 03:23:22 PM  
I've got an actual real theory. My mother is a drug and abuse therapist. The sheer amount of drug addicts and mentally/physically abused people that come to Boca Raton (Rehab capital of the world) is enormous. She says only half make it through the programs there before bailing back to the streets. The local  streets... Just sayin.
 
2013-10-31 03:25:44 PM  
That's why I left and moved to Austin.
 
2013-10-31 03:26:16 PM  

russsssman: I've got an actual real theory. My mother is a drug and abuse therapist. The sheer amount of drug addicts and mentally/physically abused people that come to Boca Raton (Rehab capital of the world) is enormous. She says only half make it through the programs there before bailing back to the streets. The local  streets... Just sayin.


There is a lot of recovery places here, down through lauderdale et al.  I don't think it is so much that people come here for treatment, it is that people come here for drugs.  And probably stay here for drugs.
 
2013-10-31 03:26:28 PM  
There are lots of people in the US who don't have many friends or decent jobs because they are weirdos. Weirdos without friends or a decent job figure they may as well move somewhere with nice weather since they don't have anything going on here so they move to Florida. The children of weirdos are likely to be weirdos themselves. Weirdos commit weird crimes.
 
2013-10-31 03:27:55 PM  
My parents retired in Florida to The Villages.  It's the goddamn weirdest place I've ever seen.  I feel like I'm on the set of Edward Scissorhands.
 
2013-10-31 03:31:13 PM  
I-95 was the idea of Dwight Eisenhower. This is the same person who came up with the concept of Vice President Nixon.   Eisenhower's idea was immediately hailed as a stroke of genius by a broad-based, across-the-board coalition of persons connected with the concrete industry, and before long, construction of the interstate system was under way. Today it is very nearly complete, although if you look on a map you'll notice there's a gap in it just above Palm Beach. There's a very practical reason for this gap, namely that the prevailing opinion of your powerful political interests in Northern Florida has long been that what South Florida really needs in the way of public works is a good tidal wave. This is why Miami, a world- famous sophisticated cosmopolitan urban center, has yet to be fully connected, whereas in Northern Florida there are a number of spacious modern complete interstate highways whisking people directly to all these dirtbag rural towns where the highest form of cultural achievement is remembering to roll down the car window before you spit.

/you know where this comes from
 
2013-10-31 03:32:07 PM  
Florida people make people from Las Vegas look sane.
 
2013-10-31 03:32:18 PM  
Isn't the average age in The Villages about 80? Sheesh. Then again, we in the Keys are no kids ourselves. But I love this place -- Atlantic on the one side of U.S. 1 and Gulf of Mexico on the other, great weather and all that. And I would put out there that per capita, the Keys provide perhaps the best source for weird Florida news.
 
2013-10-31 03:32:21 PM  

Rapmaster2000: My parents retired in Florida to The Villages.  It's the goddamn weirdest place I've ever seen.  I feel like I'm on the set of Edward Scissorhands.


You gotta watch out you don't get run down by one of those tricked out golf carts. Only good thing about that place is they have one kickass muscle car show.
 
2013-10-31 03:33:27 PM  
That there Economist is a tough read. I fire up my readin' pipe and it takes me one or two pipeloads to get through the mass of dense articles in each issue. I feel I should get college credit for reading it every week.

/only decent weekly mag left
//sad
 
2013-10-31 03:35:29 PM  
"There seems to be some kind of rule that you can't come to our state if you're normal."

So they're trying to blame it on outsiders moving there rather than the ones born and raised in Florida.

I'm sure that's it.
 
2013-10-31 03:35:34 PM  
Florida tag got stuck holding Obvious tag's beer while it did something stupid?
 
2013-10-31 03:47:32 PM  
Lived here for over half my life. Late 76' to 1990, then 2000 to present day.

Every day here is just another chapter in an unwritten Carl Hiaasen novel. It has never been any different.
 
2013-10-31 03:54:23 PM  

RoboZombie: Yeah, it's the people who MOVE there that cause the problems. Really? There are no native Floridians??


Not as many as you'd think...everyone seems to have come here from somewhere else.

/ 18 years in FL
// born in New Orleans
/// slash
 
2013-10-31 03:56:24 PM  

Rapmaster2000: My parents retired in Florida to The Villages.  It's the goddamn weirdest place I've ever seen.  I feel like I'm on the set of Edward Scissorhands.


Pretty sure the neighborhood they used as the movie set was in Florida.
 
2013-10-31 03:56:52 PM  

Keys dude: Isn't the average age in The Villages about 80? Sheesh. Then again, we in the Keys are no kids ourselves. But I love this place -- Atlantic on the one side of U.S. 1 and Gulf of Mexico on the other, great weather and all that. And I would put out there that per capita, the Keys provide perhaps the best source for weird Florida news.


Weird happens better down there.

I was just down in KW last August. I've always thought that there are probably a lot of ex-cons and people on the run who make their way down there thinking that it's a good place to keep a low profile... Until they realize the cops thought of that too.
 
2013-10-31 04:02:10 PM  
"Florida Man?"  In the Economist?  Pssh.  Somebody was inspired to write a "Trick or Treat" spoof.  Cool zombie gator look, though.

"Florida Man, better - keep your head..."

/go Noles
 
2013-10-31 04:13:36 PM  

Queensowntalia: I moved to Florida too, but fled back to CT after a year.

/never recovered


THIS.  Tampa, five years, got the hell out and moved back to Cincinnati.  Yes, Cincinnati.  I feel much saner and safer.
 
2013-10-31 04:20:13 PM  
My friend moved down there with his parents when he was 14 (would have been around 1988), he likes it down there, his only complaint is the food sucks. I always make sure to send him a picture of steamed blue crabs every year to remind him what he's missing.
 
2013-10-31 04:22:26 PM  
I must say it is the only place I've driven where people routinely drive the wrong way on major roads. That includes going up freeway entrance ramps.
 
2013-10-31 04:36:24 PM  

for good or for awesome: That's why I left and moved to Austin.


So did I!  Will you be my friend?  ;-)
 
2013-10-31 04:50:39 PM  
Florida is a mix of illegal crooks and thugs from Central America and the rejects and old from New York and New Jersey. Of course they are farked up.
 
2013-10-31 04:52:00 PM  

Nemo's Brother: Florida is a mix of illegal crooks and thugs from Central America and the rejects and old from New York and New Jersey. Of course they are farked up.


And sex offenders move down there. I guess if you have to live under a bridge, why not live under one in Florida?
 
2013-10-31 05:12:41 PM  
I have it under good authority that no one has actually been born in florida since 1987
 
2013-10-31 05:19:52 PM  

SoupJohnB: "Florida Man?"  In the Economist?  Pssh.  Somebody was inspired to write a "Trick or Treat" spoof.  Cool zombie gator look, though.

"Florida Man, better - keep your head..."

/go Noles


Florida man, Florida man / Doing the things that Florida can / What's he like? It's not important
 
2013-10-31 05:32:12 PM  
Florida is where you go when you're really weird enough for California but can't afford to get there.
 
2013-10-31 05:47:48 PM  
As I've said in every thread like this before (yes, this is a repeat of a repeat of a repeat and so on), Florida isn't any worse than other states, it's just that weird stories have become a cottage industry for our lazy journalists who are then encouraged to do more by sites like Fark.  These stories are simply click bait and bring in traffic from all over.  If some news site in Kentucky decided to specialize in weird Kentucky stories you'd wonder what was wrong with Kentucky after 10 years, too.
 
2013-10-31 06:16:37 PM  

StrikitRich: As I've said in every thread like this before (yes, this is a repeat of a repeat of a repeat and so on), Florida isn't any worse than other states, it's just that weird stories have become a cottage industry for our lazy journalists who are then encouraged to do more by sites like Fark.  These stories are simply click bait and bring in traffic from all over.  If some news site in Kentucky decided to specialize in weird Kentucky stories you'd wonder what was wrong with Kentucky after 10 years, too.


This. And yes, the number of native Floridians vs people from somewhere else is pretty huge. not saying natives don't also do stupid shiat but come on! Do the math!

/native since 1984
//born in south Florida, living in north Florida since 2005.
///north Florida is seriously ten times more sane.
 
2013-10-31 07:54:10 PM  
Because most of them spent so much of time in Ohio before moving there.

/ lives in Ohio
 
2013-10-31 08:35:06 PM  
Reminds me of the "Germany or Florida" bit that Adam Carolla use to do on his radio show.

/mandate: get it on!
 
2013-10-31 09:57:12 PM  
We have a lot of stupid people here. There seems to be some kind of rule that you can't come to our state if you're normal.

That pretty well sums it up.

I've lived in Florida most of my life and when the population boom hit -- back when a governor decided to start the 'Be a Friendly Floridian' campaign to draw in tourists and business -- it was kind of like opening the gates to the loony bin.

Folks used to actually have common sense down here. Like, they knew not to go surfing the big waves in the middle of a major hurricane. They also realized that if you built your home right on the waters edge in storm prone Florida, it just might wash into the sea -- unlike today where they build just above the high tide line.

And seem surprised when a hurricane washes their over priced homes into the sea.

Back then, we had gator hunters who almost wiped out the nasty beasts. Now, not only are they protected, but we have gator farms, raising the mobile appetites for meat and hides and releasing a percentage into the swamps. So, now we have the toothy critters taking up habitation in every mud puddle and lake around, often showing up at people's doorsteps, swimming in their pools and lurking in nearly every water trap on golf courses.

Transplants from up north are the ones who seem to insist on buying those Boa Constrictors and then releasing them into the wilds when they get big enough to eat a horse. They also bought the Iguana and Monitor lizards they saw on TV shows and in cartoon strips -- many of which naturally escaped when they were small and now we have an increasing population of the buggers spreading across the state.

Monitor Lizards are worse than Iguanas. They get big, mean and will attack. Both species are happily wiping out the various species of ground nesting birds we have.

Crime jumped, but then, they made it so easy. A large, very exclusive community was built on the barrier island, backed up against the Indian River Lagoon. Security was mainly at the front by the highway. Some rich folks didn't bother turning on their alarms and thieves boated right up to their back yards and broke into their homes while they were away.

Increased population brought in more bank robbers. One year we went from zero bank robberies in town to three. The last group fled with money in paper bags to an awaiting boat in the lagoon -- but when hopping in, they got the bags wet. The cops caught them frantically trying to scoop up the loot floating down stream.

Our current governor is listed as one of the most corrupt in the US, but no one tries to kick him out of office.

We have an entire city built basically on a swamp. For some reason, it, for a time, became the fastest growing city in Florida. Not designed to ever handle such an influx of residents, they had to nearly redesign the entire city. It didn't seem to bother folks when their houses settled and cracked during the rainy season as the ground became over saturated. Whole communities were built in major flood zones that the older locals were smart enough not to build on. The city, located on the mainland, has no beach access, with sheer cliffs boarding the Indian River Lagoon and no bridges at all to the barrier island and the Atlantic Ocean.

However, it does have on straight road that runs east to west, dead ending at a road which runs along the lagoon. Cross the road and you find a 40 foot cliff that ends in the shallow lagoon. There's not much in the way of warning barriers there either.

Over the years a whole lot of cars have gone soaring off that cliff. I think the locals are going for a world record or something.

Florida is subtropical. Over the decades, our winters have gone from freaking cold to essentially mild. We run a/c during most of the winter. Naturally, when the Great Homeless Situation began in the late 70's, by the 80's it dawned on many that they could live on the streets down here all year long and not freeze to death. Plus, with three sides of the state being beach, they could catch fish, raid the many citrus groves, pilfer a bit from the vegetable farms and hide out in the few chunks of woods and brush left or live in abandoned houses and buildings.

They could even live in the bigger cities, which had many places to hide and sleep and only worry about the frequent rain storms. Of course, many discovered the abysmal summer humidity and heat, but they often went back up north, where it was cooler, coming back down during the winter.

Our cops soon had more problems than the regular drunks and fights to investigate.

Plus, 3/4 of the state is beach. That makes it a drug runners paradise and during the 90's, we had a lot of bails of pot washing ashore. We also had some kids wandering the beach for a romantic tryst at night stumble upon some drug runners and wind up dead.

Half of Cuba settled in Miami. Castro helperd them out by emptying out his jails and shipping the murderers and rapists over with his blessings. You need to speak Spanish if you wish to live and work in Miami now and it is basically Little Cuba.

In time, the state obtained more population than it could support, meaning we now have water problems, are becoming the sink hole capitol of the continent, have wiped out the majority of the native animals and are facing various pollution problems.

More and more the 'Be a Friendly Floridian' is becoming 'Shoot the freakin bastiges'.

Florida once had major agricultural development, but a large amount got bought out and developed over into communities. Then folks wonder why the cost of local veggies has soared.

Maybe it's because we freakin produce less! Kinda hard to grow tomatoes in asphalt! I think the pineapple industry is completely gone.

Then you folks wonder why Florida has become the pr##k of the US.
 
2013-10-31 10:43:38 PM  
Rik01 is prolly right about most of it.

However, as a native (1948) I can safely say weird Florida is coastal Florida.
Here on the Ridge, things are cool. We still grow tomatoes and pineapples and citrus and cattle and caladiums and winter veggies and fall and spring veggies. The cows and horses stomp the fark out of those alligators and we collect the shoes and purses and belts off 'em, and sell to the touristers.

But don't mess with our Ridge. Drive straight through on your way to Tampa or the Villages or Dizzy World. Please leave us the hell alone.
img.fark.net
/first Florida state flag, 1845
 
2013-11-01 05:49:25 AM  

Rik01: We have a lot of stupid people here. There seems to be some kind of rule that you can't come to our state if you're normal.

That pretty well sums it up.

I've lived in Florida most of my life and when the population boom hit -- back when a governor decided to start the 'Be a Friendly Floridian' campaign to draw in tourists and business -- it was kind of like opening the gates to the loony bin.

Folks used to actually have common sense down here. Like, they knew not to go surfing the big waves in the middle of a major hurricane. They also realized that if you built your home right on the waters edge in storm prone Florida, it just might wash into the sea -- unlike today where they build just above the high tide line.

And seem surprised when a hurricane washes their over priced homes into the sea.

Back then, we had gator hunters who almost wiped out the nasty beasts. Now, not only are they protected, but we have gator farms, raising the mobile appetites for meat and hides and releasing a percentage into the swamps. So, now we have the toothy critters taking up habitation in every mud puddle and lake around, often showing up at people's doorsteps, swimming in their pools and lurking in nearly every water trap on golf courses.

Transplants from up north are the ones who seem to insist on buying those Boa Constrictors and then releasing them into the wilds when they get big enough to eat a horse. They also bought the Iguana and Monitor lizards they saw on TV shows and in cartoon strips -- many of which naturally escaped when they were small and now we have an increasing population of the buggers spreading across the state.

Monitor Lizards are worse than Iguanas. They get big, mean and will attack. Both species are happily wiping out the various species of ground nesting birds we have.

Crime jumped, but then, they made it so easy. A large, very exclusive community was built on the barrier island, backed up against the Indian River Lagoon. Security was mainly at the f ...


So much for my two semesters of Florida History in college...this was pretty accurate and realistic.  The only thing I can think of adding is now Florida also has Little Haiti, Little Brazil, Little El Salvador, Little Jamaica, Little Nigeria, Little Colombia, even Little Britain....
 
2013-11-01 10:01:34 PM  
The person that wrote this nailed it right on the head. I've been in Florida for six & a half years and can't get out fast enough.
 
2013-11-01 10:03:01 PM  

RoboZombie: Yeah, it's the people who MOVE there that cause the problems. Really? There are no native Floridians??


There are very few natives to Florida. Most of them move away from the immigrants from other states invading the state.
 
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