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(New York Daily News)   Eight students were hospitalized after which hazardous material was released in their school? A) benzene, B) carbon monoxide, or C) Axe body spray   (nydailynews.com) divider line 72
    More: Sick, Medgar Evers College Preparatory School, college preparatory school, Medgar Evers College  
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4879 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2013 at 1:48 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



72 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-31 11:52:14 AM  
I'd consider that Hazmat.
 
2013-10-31 12:15:21 PM  
The article is shait, what exactly happened?  Did someone puncture the can and toss it into a classroom like you would with a smoke bomb or a flash bang?
 
2013-10-31 12:18:56 PM  
And the kids were all made equal

by benzene
AXE
and CO2
 
2013-10-31 12:21:39 PM  
"That smells bad. I feel sick because I can't handle disruptions to my daily routine and my parents encourage my hypochondria"
 
2013-10-31 12:22:22 PM  
All you beta males laugh, but AXE has done more for children with their "Don't Be A Scrote, Broseph" campaign than any of your weak-ass topical junk sprays combined. They've even developed a new scent for b*tches that cuts down on cutter stank.
 
2013-10-31 12:23:09 PM  

Endive Wombat: The article is shait, what exactly happened?  Did someone puncture the can and toss it into a classroom like you would with a smoke bomb or a flash bang?


We used to do that in college. We didn't puncture it, just duct taped the button down and toss it over the shower curtain while someone was showering. That was always fun.

They usually walked out smelling like a frat orgy.
 
2013-10-31 12:30:36 PM  
Thing about AXE is its like a gun. It needs to be treated with respect. My guess is someone without proper training tried to make it taintworthy by turning it 'zontal and spraying up. If you're gonna go gooch, you gotta at least lie on your back, and preferably employ stirrups. Great thing is while your down there you can totally blast your abs with some killer isos.
 
2013-10-31 12:49:58 PM  
Maybe they were all crushed by trashy, scantily clad women.
 
2013-10-31 01:29:33 PM  
Say what you will about CO, at least it doesn't farking smell like Axe.
 
2013-10-31 01:37:01 PM  
Were the kids overcome by the Brawsomeness (Bro-Awesome)?
 
2013-10-31 01:43:38 PM  
I'm not surprised; sick cats carry a ton of disease.
 
2013-10-31 01:51:41 PM  
Stuff should be declared illegal under the Chemical Weapons Convention.
 
2013-10-31 01:51:43 PM  
unrestrictedstock.com
 
2013-10-31 01:52:38 PM  
cmeaney.files.wordpress.com

How it may have happened
 
2013-10-31 01:52:55 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: "That smells bad. I feel sick because I can't handle disruptions to my daily routine and my parents encourage my hypochondria"


Maybe, but also consider asthma, acute eye irritation, and allergic reactions.
 
2013-10-31 01:53:53 PM  
Approves

comicbook.com
\hot
\\love that joker
 
2013-10-31 01:54:14 PM  
Whoever wrote this article should be embarrassed.
 
2013-10-31 01:54:16 PM  
Students to hospital after Axe body spray released at Medgar Evers College Preparatory School

Are we sure it wasn't Ask body spray?

Please don't hate me.
 
2013-10-31 01:54:55 PM  

sigdiamond2000: All you beta males laugh, but AXE has done more for children with their "Don't Be A Scrote, Broseph" campaign than any of your weak-ass topical junk sprays combined. They've even developed a new scent for b*tches that cuts down on cutter stank.


You sound smelly.
 
2013-10-31 01:55:53 PM  

DOUBLE PITS TO CHESTY

 
2013-10-31 01:56:02 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: "That smells bad. I feel sick because I can't handle disruptions to my daily routine and my parents encourage my hypochondria"


This. People confuse "I don't like this" with "this is causing a medical problem for me, and by logical extension, everyone else."
 
2013-10-31 01:56:09 PM  

DanZero: And the kids were all made equal

by benzene
AXE
and CO2


Very nice. The oaks applaud and the maples give you +1 internets.
 
2013-10-31 01:57:36 PM  
FTA "There were no serious injuries"

No shiate! How the fark can you get serious injuries from spray?
 
2013-10-31 01:57:49 PM  

sigdiamond2000: All you beta males laugh, but AXE has done more for children with their "Don't Be A Scrote, Broseph" campaign than any of your weak-ass topical junk sprays combined. They've even developed a new scent for b*tches that cuts down on cutter stank.


You're killing me!
 
2013-10-31 01:58:25 PM  

Snarfangel: Students to hospital after Axe body spray released at Medgar Evers College Preparatory School

Are we sure it wasn't Ask body spray?

Please don't hate me.



Well played. Well played, indeed.
 
2013-10-31 01:59:35 PM  

weapon13: FTA "There were no serious injuries"

No shiate! How the fark can you get serious injuries from spray?


On January 12, 2008 12 year old Daniel Hurley from Derbyshire, England died in a hospital five days after collapsing at his home. The medical coroner ruled that he had suffered from cardiac arrhythmia and died from heart failure as a result of spraying large amounts of Lynx in a confined space.
 
2013-10-31 01:59:47 PM  
My dormmates would duck tape the button on an AXE can down and throw it in someone's room and hold the door closed.

So effective. So tragic.
 
2013-10-31 02:00:13 PM  
Evidently they can't open the windows and air out a room in NYC. Typical liberals, sending their spoiled brats to the local hospital, all for free because of Obamacare. We just paid for 10 snowflakes to be told to breathe some fresh air and take a shower. I bet that cost us $10,000.
 
2013-10-31 02:00:59 PM  

highendmighty: weapon13: FTA "There were no serious injuries"

No shiate! How the fark can you get serious injuries from spray?

On January 12, 2008 12 year old Daniel Hurley from Derbyshire, England died in a hospital five days after collapsing at his home. The medical coroner ruled that he had suffered from cardiac arrhythmia and died from heart failure as a result of spraying large amounts of Lynx in a confined space.


huntdrop.com
 
2013-10-31 02:01:15 PM  

DanZero: And the kids were all made equal

by benzene
AXE
and CO2


Normally I cockpunch idiots who quote that song because it's automatically +a bazillion depth points...

...but that was funny. Well done!
 
2013-10-31 02:01:51 PM  

bigpete53: highendmighty: weapon13: FTA "There were no serious injuries"

No shiate! How the fark can you get serious injuries from spray?

On January 12, 2008 12 year old Daniel Hurley from Derbyshire, England died in a hospital five days after collapsing at his home. The medical coroner ruled that he had suffered from cardiac arrhythmia and died from heart failure as a result of spraying large amounts of Lynx in a confined space.

[huntdrop.com image 850x680]


Mmmmm. Musky!
 
2013-10-31 02:02:28 PM  
s9.postimg.org

/oblig
 
2013-10-31 02:02:46 PM  
www.firstworldliving.com
 
2013-10-31 02:02:52 PM  
Old Spice frowns on their shenanigans.
 
2013-10-31 02:05:01 PM  
I just hope that they don't ban the stuff. If they ban Axe body spray then only douchebags will have Axe body spray.
 
2013-10-31 02:05:21 PM  

sigdiamond2000: All you beta males laugh, but AXE has done more for children with their "Don't Be A Scrote, Broseph" campaign than any of your weak-ass topical junk sprays combined. They've even developed a new scent for b*tches that cuts down on cutter stank.


i1.kym-cdn.com

WTF is "cutter stank?" Smelly pocket knife?

/old
 
2013-10-31 02:05:47 PM  
Didn't someone joke about repackaging chemical weapons as AXE bodyspray earlier today in another thread?
 
2013-10-31 02:08:07 PM  

Prophet of Loss: [s9.postimg.org image 280x663]

/oblig


Who did that cartoon? Name names.

And as a subsidiary question, is that a Chaotic Evil Dwarf or a Chaotic Good Dwarf? I assume the latter based on his companions.
 
2013-10-31 02:09:04 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: "That smells bad. I feel sick because I can't handle disruptions to my daily routine and my parents encourage my hypochondria"


lol
ro ronery
 
2013-10-31 02:10:59 PM  

sigdiamond2000: All you beta males laugh, but AXE has done more for children with their "Don't Be A Scrote, Broseph" campaign than any of your weak-ass topical junk sprays combined. They've even developed a new scent for b*tches that cuts down on cutter stank.


Cooter stank?

To be honest, if her cooter needs Axe to cover the stank, i'd stay the hell away and she should see a doctor.
 
2013-10-31 02:13:25 PM  

Grandemadaca: sigdiamond2000: All you beta males laugh, but AXE has done more for children with their "Don't Be A Scrote, Broseph" campaign than any of your weak-ass topical junk sprays combined. They've even developed a new scent for b*tches that cuts down on cutter stank.

[i1.kym-cdn.com image 613x533]

WTF is "cutter stank?" Smelly pocket knife?

/old


sharphead: sigdiamond2000: All you beta males laugh, but AXE has done more for children with their "Don't Be A Scrote, Broseph" campaign than any of your weak-ass topical junk sprays combined. They've even developed a new scent for b*tches that cuts down on cutter stank.

Cooter stank?

To be honest, if her cooter needs Axe to cover the stank, i'd stay the hell away and she should see a doctor.


Pretty sure he's referring to kids who cut considering they're not exactly "alpha" status.
 
2013-10-31 02:18:13 PM  
www.neo-rammstein.com

"Dispatch, this is Rammstein. We're returning to station. Turns out it wasn't benzene after all."
 
2013-10-31 02:18:59 PM  
Cutter is cockney rhyming slang for turd butter
 
2013-10-31 02:24:16 PM  

Fano: Cutter is cockney rhyming slang for turd butter


Cockney has the word cock in it.
 
2013-10-31 02:25:34 PM  

sigdiamond2000: All you beta males laugh, but AXE has done more for children with their "Don't Be A Scrote, Broseph" campaign than any of your weak-ass topical junk sprays combined. They've even developed a new scent for b*tches that cuts down on cutter stank.


Seriously bro, at our house we've charted and tracked every axe product. We seperate them by success and disaster stories then we have a contest where a bros pick a spray and try to get laid. Depending on the scent you score higher or lower points. You score wearing the scent with the most disasters and you get the most points. Can't tell you the which scent is the best though so don't even ask.
 
2013-10-31 02:25:49 PM  
From another Fark thread and Slate....

The Wall of Axe is a naturally occurring phenomenon in which teen boys reapply Axe after phys ed, then stand in the stairwell together
 
2013-10-31 02:25:54 PM  
There used to be a doc where I worked that friggin' bathed in the stuff. While working in a "No-Scents" area. Got away with it because "fark u, I'm a doctor" apparently trumps all patient needs.
 
2013-10-31 02:26:26 PM  
Wouldn't  Axe attack at school, multiple victimsbe a more halloweeny headline.
 
2013-10-31 02:26:33 PM  
No, but seriously, we're raising an entire generation to learn that deodorant makes you smell worse.  This will result in the offices of the future being populated with a combination of BO loaded assholes and axe wearing douchebags.

//ban axe before society falls apart.
 
2013-10-31 02:28:14 PM  
Some college prep school. Somebody pulls a frat boy style prank and eight students run to the hospital all scared. They're not teaching the right things.
 
2013-10-31 02:28:18 PM  

LarryDan43: sigdiamond2000: All you beta males laugh, but AXE has done more for children with their "Don't Be A Scrote, Broseph" campaign than any of your weak-ass topical junk sprays combined. They've even developed a new scent for b*tches that cuts down on cutter stank.

Seriously bro, at our house we've charted and tracked every axe product. We seperate them by success and disaster stories then we have a contest where a bros pick a spray and try to get laid. Depending on the scent you score higher or lower points. You score wearing the scent with the most disasters and you get the most points. Can't tell you the which scent is the best though so don't even ask.


So which one gets you the most Top Shelf?

/
 
2013-10-31 02:30:28 PM  

ikanreed: No, but seriously, we're raising an entire generation to learn that deodorant makes you smell worse.  This will result in the offices of the future being populated with a combination of BO loaded assholes and axe wearing douchebags.


Are you suggesting Barack Obama is stinky?
 
2013-10-31 02:34:47 PM  

oryx: Some college prep school. Somebody pulls a frat boy style prank and eight students run to the hospital all scared. They're not teaching the right things.


Calling bullshiat behavior "a prank" automatically gets you a pass and henceforth no one can criticize it.
 
2013-10-31 02:35:47 PM  

sigdiamond2000: Thing about AXE is its like a gun. It needs to be treated with respect. My guess is someone without proper training tried to make it taintworthy by turning it 'zontal and spraying up. If you're gonna go gooch, you gotta at least lie on your back, and preferably employ stirrups. Great thing is while your down there you can totally blast your abs with some killer isos.


Are you up to 1000?  What about the gel mask?
 
2013-10-31 02:36:08 PM  

ikanreed: No, but seriously, we're raising an entire generation to learn that deodorant makes you smell worse.  This will result in the offices of the future being populated with a combination of BO loaded assholes and axe wearing douchebags.

//ban axe before society falls apart.


Or both. BO smell and overabundance of Axe body spray (or cologne) are not mutually exclusive. In fact, it seems to be the regimen of choice for middle eastern men. I have a couple of guys in my freshman physics class that stink up the room so bad the class after us refuses to go in the classroom. It's not like I can tell my students not to wear the shiat either.
 
2013-10-31 02:38:33 PM  

cynicalbastard: There used to be a doc where I worked that friggin' bathed in the stuff. While working in a "No-Scents" area. Got away with it because "fark u, I'm a doctor" apparently trumps all patient needs.


Was he one of those doctors with a thick axe-scent?
 
2013-10-31 02:42:10 PM  

endmile: It's not like I can tell my students not to wear the shiat either.


Why not?
 
2013-10-31 02:55:06 PM  
I would hate to see what happens if some kid lets of a really nasty smelling fart in class.  Hell, they probably would call in a hazmat team and wash the kid with a bunch of odor eaters.
 
2013-10-31 02:55:55 PM  
Deadly mustard gas?

Gif too big...
 
2013-10-31 02:58:33 PM  

DanZero: And the kids were all made equal

by benzene
AXE
and CO2


Very nicely done, excellent RUSH reference there.
 
2013-10-31 03:11:21 PM  
All schools get to have one mysterious fumes day each year.  Clear the halls!
 
2013-10-31 03:19:55 PM  

sigdiamond2000: All you beta males laugh, but AXE has done more for children with their "Don't Be A Scrote, Broseph" campaign than any of your weak-ass topical junk sprays combined. They've even developed a new scent for b*tches that cuts down on cutter stank.


I'm going to try to use cutter stank in a sentence this week.
 
2013-10-31 03:36:34 PM  
Sounds like someone took our suggestion of how to get rid of the chemical weapons...
 
2013-10-31 03:48:10 PM  
ACUTE EFFECTS
EYE CONTACT: May cause redness or irritation.
SKIN CONTACT: Overexposure may cause a skin reaction such as redness. Do not use on broken skin.
INGESTION: May cause nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.
RESPIRATORY: Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents can be fatal or
harmful.

That's from Unilever.
 
2013-10-31 04:39:54 PM  
Came for a reiteration of "the wave of Axe rolling in like a cloud of chlorine over the Somme..."

/ Leaving disappoint
// Can't remember which Farker wrote that originally
/ May have misremembered it
 
2013-10-31 08:16:50 PM  

highendmighty: weapon13: FTA "There were no serious injuries"

No shiate! How the fark can you get serious injuries from spray?

On January 12, 2008 12 year old Daniel Hurley from Derbyshire, England died in a hospital five days after collapsing at his home. The medical coroner ruled that he had suffered from cardiac arrhythmia and died from heart failure as a result of spraying large amounts of Lynx in a confined space.


Or, as we say: Darwin.
 
2013-10-31 08:37:11 PM  

Fano: Cutter is cockney rhyming slang for turd butter


Whatever that is. Cockney rhyming slang is utter shiate!
 
2013-10-31 08:56:58 PM  
Only surprise is that it took this long.
 
2013-10-31 09:25:32 PM  

Medic Zero: Fano: Cutter is cockney rhyming slang for turd butter

Whatever that is. Cockney rhyming slang is utter shiate!


You're right about that. I did assume that cutter meant "turd cutter" ie the ass or anus.

Are there any other languages that have an equivalent to cockney rhyming slang? It really is the stupidest form of communication. The only thing I can think of is the reggae song that has "knife and a fork, a bottle and a cork, that's the way we spell New York."
 
2013-10-31 10:42:56 PM  

Fano: Medic Zero: Fano: Cutter is cockney rhyming slang for turd butter

Whatever that is. Cockney rhyming slang is utter shiate!

You're right about that. I did assume that cutter meant "turd cutter" ie the ass or anus.

Are there any other languages that have an equivalent to cockney rhyming slang? It really is the stupidest form of communication. The only thing I can think of is the reggae song that has "knife and a fork, a bottle and a cork, that's the way we spell New York."


I've often maintained that if the Cockneys had put the energy and ingenuity they used in the rhyming slang into self-improvement instead, they could have taken over the British Empire sometime around 1905.
 
2013-11-01 02:35:04 AM  

thecpt: My dormmates would duck tape the button on an AXE can down and throw it in someone's room and hold the door closed.

So effective. So tragic.


When you have a compsci that hasn't showered in a week, sometimes dumping a full can of axe is an improvement.

We'd always stab the can to make sure *everything* came out and there was no chance to pull the tape.
 
2013-11-01 12:50:17 PM  

highendmighty: weapon13: FTA "There were no serious injuries"

No shiate! How the fark can you get serious injuries from spray?

On January 12, 2008 12 year old Daniel Hurley from Derbyshire, England died in a hospital five days after collapsing at his home. The medical coroner ruled that he had suffered from cardiac arrhythmia and died from heart failure as a result of spraying large amounts of Lynx in a confined space.


That would be a death, not a serious injury. I was looking for examples of serious injuries from Axe spray.
 
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