If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Baton Rouge Advocate)   Cop: Yeah, we are going to need to go ahead and collect your DNA since your car was robbed and some sunglasses were stolen. Victim: Say whaaaa? Cop: Open wide *swab* It's cool we collect victim DNA and store it all the time   (theadvocate.com) divider line 85
    More: Scary, DNA, Ray-Bans, Kevin Kuperman  
•       •       •

10517 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2013 at 5:49 AM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



85 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-10-31 12:52:51 AM
So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that
 
2013-10-31 01:12:38 AM
Ihre Speichel bitte.
 
2013-10-31 01:36:55 AM

cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that


My SO still gives me crap about his loss of some driving glasses he had in the car, prescription  lens, and about 300 bucks.

We live in a relatively low crime place and I "MIGHT" have left the car unlocked for a bit with the glasses in their case visible on the dashboard.
Of course he didn't notice this until what could be a month or so later as I didn't notice any 'break in" in the car and my stupid 5 buck sunglasses where still there on the dash.
 
2013-10-31 01:59:03 AM
Voluntary: give it up or get tazed
 
2013-10-31 02:00:58 AM
I stopped reading at Parish.

I you don't know your rights, then it's on YOU!
 
2013-10-31 02:06:24 AM

cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that


You find a $5 pair of Ray-Bans, you let me know.
 
2013-10-31 02:10:05 AM

timujin: cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that

You find a $5 pair of Ray-Bans, you let me know.


You haven't been to Tijuana, I take it.

(The might say "Rey-Ban.")
 
2013-10-31 02:10:06 AM

timujin: cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that

You find a $5 pair of Ray-Bans, you let me know.


I don't buy sunglasses.

Waste of money they are

So excuse my ignorance for not knowing their price
 
2013-10-31 03:16:00 AM

cman: timujin: cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that

You find a $5 pair of Ray-Bans, you let me know.

I don't buy sunglasses.

Waste of money they are

So excuse my ignorance for not knowing their price


No problem, but maybe remember that the next time you make assumptions.  Doing so is the difference between being ignorant and being stupid.

I do buy sunglasses, because I live in a place where it's sunny most every day.   I don't get buying expensive sunglasses, I lose or break mine too often, however, I can get why someone who spent a couple of hundred dollars on something might want that something back.
 
2013-10-31 05:20:07 AM
He said that, in many car and home burglaries, the State Police Crime Lab will not accept crime scene DNA samples without the victim's elimination sample also.
Bacala said the victim's DNA is used to distinguish it from a potential suspect's DNA and to keep the victim's DNA out of a nationwide criminal DNA database known as CODIS.



Not the ooga! booga! like submitter made it out to be, but still weird. isn't there a backlog on DNA samples getting tested? wouldn't collecting DNA, rightly or wrongly, just add to that situation? especially in if it gets collected in minor cases like this.

or maybe I'm wrong about the backlog thing.
 
2013-10-31 05:50:57 AM
Repeat after me:

"Do you have a warrant to search and seize objects from my person?" (valid for the date in question)

If they answer "No," they can't swab your cheek.
 
2013-10-31 05:56:20 AM
Who the fark calls the police over a pair of sunglasses? And don't even try and get me to believe the cops are going to spend any time investigating stolen sunglasses. If they do they should be fired for wasting tax payers money.
 
2013-10-31 05:57:21 AM
ahahahaha cops barely even record car thefts, let alone investigate them. wtf were they thinking, that the guy looked creepy enough to be a sex predator?
 
2013-10-31 06:03:33 AM

cman: timujin: cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that

You find a $5 pair of Ray-Bans, you let me know.

I don't buy sunglasses.

Waste of money they are

So excuse my ignorance for not knowing their price


Damnit.  I agreed with cman.   Now I have to drink a bottle of rye.

Thanks cman.

(no really,  thanks.)
 
2013-10-31 06:04:05 AM

Bonanza Jellybean: ahahahaha cops barely even record car thefts, let alone investigate them. wtf were they thinking, that the guy looked creepy enough to be a sex predator?


Depends on where you live. Collection of DNA evidence might happen in a relatively quiet jurisdiction with a rash of break-ins.

In Detroit, you probably have to order them a pizza just to record your information.
 
2013-10-31 06:11:52 AM
rlv.zcache.com

Call them only when absolutely necessary.
 
2013-10-31 06:24:37 AM
How can a car be robbed? It just isn't possible.
 
2013-10-31 06:28:15 AM

Bonanza Jellybean: ahahahaha cops barely even record car thefts, let alone investigate them. wtf were they thinking, that the guy looked creepy enough to be a sex predator?


No shiat.  I've had three break-ins in the last couple years, including one where they cleaned out my expensive car stereo.  They sent a guy out to take a report, then said "good luck with that."
Nobody does DNA and fingerprint tests for car break-in.  Unless they just have absolutely no other crime to worry about, it's not worth the cost and time to them.
 
2013-10-31 06:29:03 AM

filter: How can a car be robbed? It just isn't possible.


Hey! It's puh-puh-puh-puh-sputtersputter-possible!
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-31 06:45:06 AM

cman: timujin: cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that

You find a $5 pair of Ray-Bans, you let me know.

I don't buy sunglasses.

Waste of money they are

So excuse my ignorance for not knowing their price


Enjoy your UV induced cataracts.
 
2013-10-31 07:04:13 AM
Scary, yet we still vote in the same two parties that support this shiat.
 
2013-10-31 07:05:48 AM

untaken_name: filter: How can a car be robbed? It just isn't possible.

Hey! It's puh-puh-puh-puh-sputtersputter-possible!
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x818]


I remember the picture but can't think of what it's from.
 
2013-10-31 07:07:32 AM
www.side-line.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGidLQtUwRE

This song sums up my thoughts on cops perfectly (well, that and of course 'Fark Da Police).
 
2013-10-31 07:07:54 AM

cman: Waste of money they are


Yeah, I think avoiding cataracts is a good thing.
 
2013-10-31 07:09:09 AM
log_jammin:
I remember the picture but can't think of what it's from.


Speed Buggy!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_Buggy
 
2013-10-31 07:13:12 AM
The cop asked. You caved. If you choose to give up your rights, its on you.
 
2013-10-31 07:19:03 AM

abhorrent1: Who the fark calls the police over a pair of sunglasses? And don't even try and get me to believe the cops are going to spend any time investigating stolen sunglasses. If they do they should be fired for wasting tax payers money.


I had someone rummage through my car one night. (Must have left it unlocked by accident, since forced entry would have set the alarm off) All the compartments where open and stuff taken out of the glove box and left on the seat. They didn't take anything even though I had a couple of valuable items in there (a 3 year old GPS and my Metallica S&M CD).

I still called the police to file a report so they can be aware of any increase in break-ins in my neighborhood. What if the same thing is happening all up and down your street? If no one calls the cops, they won't know about anything going on. If they know there has been 12 break ins in the last week, they might step up patrols. Or if they actualy arrest someone, they might have more crimes to tie the guy to.
 
2013-10-31 07:19:12 AM

HappyTheDog: Scary, yet we still vote in the same two parties that support this shiat.


Tell me, are you one of those
-R and D are the same so I don't vote
-R and D are the same so I vote third party letting the greater of two evils win
-R and D are the same so I vote R
 
2013-10-31 07:22:14 AM

cman: timujin: cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that

You find a $5 pair of Ray-Bans, you let me know.

I don't buy sunglasses.

Waste of money they are

So excuse my ignorance for not knowing their price


some people absolutely have to wear sunglasses most every time they are outdoors in daylight for medical reasons, due to side effects of medication, etcetera. poor quality sunglasses do more damage to the eye that they are supposed to protect. authentic high quality Ray-Bans are my weapon of choice, whether I find them for $165 or $190.
sunglasses, well made sunglasses, are not a waste of money.
attending school and learning very little - that's a waste of money.
of course, you're entitled to your opinion, bless your pointy lil head.
 
2013-10-31 07:24:01 AM

liam76: HappyTheDog: Scary, yet we still vote in the same two parties that support this shiat.

Tell me, are you one of those
-R and D are the same so I don't vote
-R and D are the same so I vote third party letting the greater of two evils win
-R and D are the same so I vote R


There is a fourth possibility:  R and D are the same, so I vote for the candidate that happens to be least objectionable to my views.
 
2013-10-31 07:26:31 AM
'OK, we'll swab the car. Also we want to swab you for your DNA to eliminate your donation from any sample we take,' " Kuperman said the deputy told him.


The results are back sir. The DNA found in the car was your own. You are under arrest for stealing your own sunglasses.

Of course they need his DNA if they want to find someone elses in the car DNA. With no control, you can't prove the DNA found isn't his.
 
2013-10-31 07:28:24 AM

gryhnd: log_jammin:
I remember the picture but can't think of what it's from.


Speed Buggy!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_Buggy


thank you!
 
2013-10-31 07:28:53 AM

dittybopper: There is a fourth possibility: R and D are the same, so I vote for the candidate that happens to be least objectionable to my views.


I can't think of any politician that is least objectionable.

They're all child rapists to me. Sociopaths who would just as soon stick their dick in their own child to get ahead as they would take their usual bribes for sucking the corporate cock.

/what if we threw a vote and nobody showed up to vote.
//Or we elected cats.
///Or dogs. I'm not racist.
 
2013-10-31 07:31:46 AM
Old and Busted: Break into car, plant weed.

New Hotness: Break into car, steal inconsequential item, get DNA from everyone possible.
 
2013-10-31 07:54:30 AM
"Bacala said the victim's DNA is used to distinguish it from a potential suspect's DNA and to keep the victim's DNA out of a nationwide criminal DNA database known as CODIS.

Doug Cain, State Police spokesman, added that an instance where the elimination DNA would not be required is if the sample were known to be from the suspect, such as blood on a window. He said the elimination sample, however, must be kept and stored for future criminal proceedings.
"

Wow; that's some Grade A circular logic right there... We need to collect your DNA to make sure it doesn't get put into a database; now that we have it we'll have to put it into this database incase it's needed again...
 
2013-10-31 07:56:34 AM
How about NO?

That works for me.
 
2013-10-31 08:07:00 AM
Buy cheap sunglasses.
Apply Mongolian hot oil.
Leave in unlocked car.
Have that fool walking into walls over there arrested for theft.
 
2013-10-31 08:16:36 AM
do they think the guy was jerking off while stealing the sun glasses? Why do they even think they will be able to collect any dnaDNA from someone who reached in and took some sunglasses.
 
2013-10-31 08:16:51 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-31 08:20:23 AM
You want a DNA sample?  Blow me.
 
2013-10-31 08:22:36 AM

timujin: cman: timujin: cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that

You find a $5 pair of Ray-Bans, you let me know.

I don't buy sunglasses.

Waste of money they are

So excuse my ignorance for not knowing their price

No problem, but maybe remember that the next time you make assumptions.  Doing so is the difference between being ignorant and being stupid.

I do buy sunglasses, because I live in a place where it's sunny most every day.   I don't get buying expensive sunglasses, I lose or break mine too often, however, I can get why someone who spent a couple of hundred dollars on something might want that something back.



He just didn't understand that they come in two classes: rhinestone shades and cheap sunglasses.
 
2013-10-31 08:25:34 AM

dittybopper: You want a DNA sample?  Blow me.


Sigh, the things I do for this outfit...
 
2013-10-31 08:26:19 AM

Sybarite: timujin: cman: timujin: cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that

You find a $5 pair of Ray-Bans, you let me know.

I don't buy sunglasses.

Waste of money they are

So excuse my ignorance for not knowing their price

No problem, but maybe remember that the next time you make assumptions.  Doing so is the difference between being ignorant and being stupid.

I do buy sunglasses, because I live in a place where it's sunny most every day.   I don't get buying expensive sunglasses, I lose or break mine too often, however, I can get why someone who spent a couple of hundred dollars on something might want that something back.


He just didn't understand that they come in two classes: rhinestone shades and cheap sunglasses.



Oh yeah!
 
2013-10-31 08:31:49 AM
For those that don't know, DNA collection for inclusion in CODIS and most state-run databases are tightly controlled by statutes that regulate whose DNA can be collected, under what circumstances, what tests can be performed, and what information is stored.

However, large municipal governments, such as the one where I practice, have decided to circumvent all those "restrictions" and are creating so-called "dark DNA databases" that have no rules, restrictions, etc... Thus, police will show up at a hospital and take a shooting victim's clothing to test the victim's DNA and then run it for matches in open cases. What's more concerning is there are at least two companies who are trying to start up "cloud based" sharing technology that would allow these agencies to look at each other's information. A few states have laws that might prevent full-scale implimentation, but it appears that most do not.

Given the drop in cost, I think it is inevitable that DNA testing will one day be mandated at birth and the Government will have you in the system from day 1. Given the current Fourth Amendment cases, like King, there is almost zero apparent constitutional basis to preventing such a law from going into effect because (1) the DNA could be collected from "discarded" tissue/blood and (2) King basically suggests that any "non-criminal" reason for testing it would suffice. Thus, the State simply says we are collecting these samples in case the baby is abducted, and Bob's your uncle.
 
2013-10-31 08:37:35 AM
WTF? How far behind are most places in processing rape kits, but they have the time to run DNA matches for a simple burglary?
 
2013-10-31 08:39:51 AM

kim jong-un: cman: timujin: cman: So a $5 pair of sunglasses requires a DNA swab for elimination purposes?

The DNA test alone is worth more than that

You find a $5 pair of Ray-Bans, you let me know.

I don't buy sunglasses.

Waste of money they are

So excuse my ignorance for not knowing their price

Enjoy your UV induced cataracts.



Cataracts as well as macular degeneration have been attributed partially to UV exposure.

I also find wearing sunglasses more comfortable in bright conditions.

Lastly, they prevent me from getting caught checking out the ladies.
 
2013-10-31 08:41:08 AM
weknowmemes.com
 
2013-10-31 08:48:19 AM

ReverendJasen: Bonanza Jellybean: ahahahaha cops barely even record car thefts, let alone investigate them. wtf were they thinking, that the guy looked creepy enough to be a sex predator?

No shiat.  I've had three break-ins in the last couple years, including one where they cleaned out my expensive car stereo.  They sent a guy out to take a report, then said "good luck with that."
Nobody does DNA and fingerprint tests for car break-in.  Unless they just have absolutely no other crime to worry about, it's not worth the cost and time to them.


In the DC area you report it by phone and get an case # for insurance.  No visits for break ins.
 
2013-10-31 08:50:14 AM

Prophet of Loss: [rlv.zcache.com image 325x325]

Call them only when absolutely necessary.


And remember, they want to arrest you as much as the person who ripped you off.

/They like adding 'and the idiot called us' to their stories

OtherLittleGuy: Old and Busted: Break into car, plant weed.

New Hotness: Break into car, steal inconsequential item, get DNA from everyone possible, and have the lab tech. mix up samples


FTFY
 
2013-10-31 09:01:26 AM
If he wants his DNA back, he obviously has something to hide or he wouldn't be worried about it.  They should keep a close eye on him.
 
Displayed 50 of 85 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report