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(Deadline)   Ted Cruz will make his late night debut on The Tonight Show, which is fitting considering America takes neither seriously   (deadline.com) divider line 18
    More: Followup, Senator Ted Cruz  
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621 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 Oct 2013 at 11:36 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-10-30 09:20:20 PM
15 votes:
"Have you seen this? Have you heard about this, people? Apparently this Ted Cruz guy shut down the government then protested against the government shutdown. The last time there was a Cruz this unsuccessful it was aboard the Carnival Triumph. Yep. You took a cruise on that ship, didn't you Rickey Minor? Now, we give Ted Cruz a lot of flak, but...did you see this? Did you know this? Ted Cruz is apparently a Canadian, but his father was a Cuban. Apparently he's the only guy in the Senate cafeteria who puts maple syrup on a cigar. True story, people."
2013-10-31 01:32:20 AM
4 votes:

Aquapope: I just checked the Tonight Show website and it says the guest is Mark Cuban.  Ted is Cuban, so I could see the mistake.

Ah hell, I can't craft that into a good joke, but you see where I'm going, so gimme a pity chuckle.


Still better than Leno.
2013-10-31 05:26:38 AM
2 votes:

apoptotic: borg: ActionJoe: Leno should just say "fark it, I'm ready to be done with this show" and just completely destroy Cruz. Start with the nice questions and chit chat and then just completely rip into him for hurting the country, being a selfish prick, and a sleezy person overall who deserves all the hate in the world. I hope the entire crowd boos him too. Every time there is a pause or he finishes speaking, I want to hear boos.

Not going to happen,  Leno leans to the right & NBC will edit out any boos

Leno describes himself as a fiscal conservative/social liberal who likes and respects Obama and described Rick Perry as "too narrow minded", so I doubt he's got a soft spot for Cruz. He may chide Cruz for costing the economy $24B, or ask him if his wife working for GS and him wanting to burn it all down ever makes for an awkward home life, but then they'll agree to disagree, settle on "both sides are bad" and talk about cars.


Hopefully. At this point in his career, I've come to regard Leno as a prominent and exemplary automotive collector and historian, who, for some inexplicable reason, has a deadly boring television show.
2013-10-31 12:28:33 AM
2 votes:
Is he promoting Jackass?
2013-10-31 11:26:38 AM
1 votes:
Jay Leno has been trying to appeal to a right-wing audience ever since he screwed Conan O'Brien.

During that whole mess, conservative commentators were siding with Leno for some bizarre reason.  The only thing I can think of is that they're champions of the overdog and saw Conan as someone who would take the show, and comedy writing in general, in a new and exciting direction.  And since they see anything besides rich people "staying the course" as liberal, they championed a guy who famously steals bits, does nothing controversial, and hoards his money.
2013-10-31 09:15:58 AM
1 votes:
I know it's an impossible dream, but it would be so epic if, just for one night, Jay re-discovered his balls and totally blindsided Cruz.

"You know, Jay, when my parents first moved to this country, we had an old '67 Chevy that I can remember my father working on for hourse in the garage."

"Yeah, that's great. Can you explain to the American people the difference between yourself and a terrorist?"

Overnight he would undo years of negative perception and become a legend.
2013-10-31 08:18:46 AM
1 votes:

Brick-House: I love Ted Cruz threads. Libtard heads exploding everywhere. Such fun and going on with Leno... he's been number 1 in the ratings mostly for his take on BOB lately.


Being number 1 on the list of losers is not exactly an accomplishment to be touted.
2013-10-31 07:58:14 AM
1 votes:
"Herman? Herman? HERMAN??"
"What, Gladys. It's the middle of the night!"
"Charlie McCarthy is on Carson."
"Who?"
"Charlie McCarthy."
"The puppet? There's no puppet on Carson."
"No, the Commie guy."
"The comedy guy?"
"COMMIE! COMMIE, you deaf old goat!"
"That's *Joe* McCarthy, Gladys!"
"Excuse me for not knowing his name, Mister-big-shot-know-it-all. Why don't you call Art Linkletter and go on his Jeopardy?"
"Art Linkletter is on, too?"
"No, Joe McCarthy!"
"What is he saying?"
"He says he's from Texas."
"Taxes?"
"TEXAS!"
"When is Carson coming back from vacation, anyway?"
2013-10-31 03:15:40 AM
1 votes:

sdd2000: Fart_Machine: I'd love to see him on the Daily Show but that's never gonna happen.

Colbert would even be better


I want to see George Stromboulopoulos help Cruz fill out the forms to relinquish his Canadian citizenship.
2013-10-31 02:28:02 AM
1 votes:
Subby, The Tonight Show was cancelled in January 2010, but will return to the airwaves after the 2014 Winter Olympics.
2013-10-31 01:59:58 AM
1 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: "Have you seen this? Have you heard about this, people? Apparently this Ted Cruz guy shut down the government then protested against the government shutdown. The last time there was a Cruz this unsuccessful it was aboard the Carnival Triumph. Yep. You took a cruise on that ship, didn't you Rickey Minor? Now, we give Ted Cruz a lot of flak, but...did you see this? Did you know this? Ted Cruz is apparently a Canadian, but his father was a Cuban. Apparently he's the only guy in the Senate cafeteria who puts maple syrup on a cigar. True story, people."


Yes, I read that in Jay Leno's voice.  Well done.
2013-10-31 01:06:08 AM
1 votes:
Why does Jay Leno hate America? For country that has given a talentless hack so much, and we asked for so little. This is our reward?
2013-10-31 12:36:43 AM
1 votes:

namegoeshere: Oh, just shut up, Ted Cruz, you cock.


You're insulting all cocks, sir.
2013-10-31 12:36:39 AM
1 votes:

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: Ok so Cruz is not tonight. I wasted soooo much time listening to Leno.


Brave Sir Teddy ran away!
Bravely ran away away!
When cameras reared their ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Bravely bravely bravely brave Sir Teddy!
2013-10-31 12:20:05 AM
1 votes:
You mean Rafael Eduardo Cruz, the Canadian born son of one of Fidel Castro's Commie terrorists? That "Ted" Cruz?
2013-10-30 11:52:49 PM
1 votes:

Fart_Machine: I'd love to see him on the Daily Show but that's never gonna happen.


Colbert would even be better
2013-10-30 09:52:24 PM
1 votes:
Besides being in the Dead Kennedy's for a couple of years what has he really done since "The Courtship of Eddie's Father." was  canceled?
2013-10-30 07:43:09 PM
1 votes:
There's such thing as a liberal media indeed.
 
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