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(BBC)   "Is that a suicide bomber?" *BOOM* "Well, hey, problem solved"   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 45
    More: Spiffy, Sousse, suicide bombers  
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13124 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2013 at 7:55 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-30 07:57:15 PM
What a dumbass.
 
2013-10-30 07:59:40 PM
You had ONE JOB, suicide bomber! ONE JOB!

/premature detonation
 
2013-10-30 08:00:33 PM
Boom goes the dynamite!
 
2013-10-30 08:02:38 PM

LoneWolf343: You had ONE JOB, suicide bomber! ONE JOB!

/premature detonation


I SWEAR; THIS NEVER HAPPENS TO ME...

/ premature explosion
 
2013-10-30 08:05:26 PM
A suicide bomber allows himself to be *chased away from his targets*? This clown failed at life *and* death!
 
2013-10-30 08:06:13 PM
The Grinch and the Cat In The Hat survived
 
2013-10-30 08:06:55 PM
Maybe it was a practice run?

/I Keed
 
2013-10-30 08:08:09 PM
A picture of the bomber.
patrick.ripp.eu
 
2013-10-30 08:09:43 PM
He must have been soussed.
 
2013-10-30 08:12:59 PM

ClavellBCMI: A suicide bomber allows himself to be *chased away from his targets*? This clown failed at life *and* death!


It was probably his first time.
 
2013-10-30 08:14:52 PM
I rtfa. Was he attacking... a tomb??
 
2013-10-30 08:20:31 PM

listernine: I rtfa. Was he attacking... a tomb??


He was dying to get in.
 
2013-10-30 08:21:16 PM

listernine: I rtfa. Was he attacking... a tomb??


Different guy, I think. Though why you'd want to suicide bomb a tomb is anyone's guess.
 
2013-10-30 08:23:01 PM
"An attempted attack targeting the compound of the Bourguiba mausoleum was foiled...
and a young man carrying explosives was arrested, Blowed The Fark Up" Interior Ministry spokesman Mohamed Ali Laroui told AFP.


Say it.....SAY IT. That's better.
 
2013-10-30 08:27:00 PM

fusillade762: listernine: I rtfa. Was he attacking... a tomb??

Different guy, I think. Though why you'd want to suicide bomb a tomb is anyone's guess.


Tourist attraction/sending a message. Like blowing up George Washington's tomb.
 
2013-10-30 08:30:52 PM
How bad of a suicide bomber do you have to be if you are chased away from your target?
 
2013-10-30 08:40:58 PM
and nothing of value was lost
 
2013-10-30 08:41:43 PM
What a stigma to be known as the "failed suicide bomber" in the terrorist community.

No one will ride the bus with you.
No one will fly with you.
No one will ever let you push the button on elevator.

They will say "Here comes Jalabi. He is too stupid to push a button. He will live to be a very old man with wife and many children's and grand children's and will only ever get ONE virgin. Poor Jalabi."

/I throw my shoe.
 
2013-10-30 08:43:01 PM
"I can't even kill myself right! I'm just going to go this way and...."
 
2013-10-30 08:44:20 PM
Sooooo... How many virgins is this worth? Is there a table or a currency converter for this?
 
2013-10-30 08:49:23 PM

phillydrifter: ClavellBCMI: A suicide bomber allows himself to be *chased away from his targets*? This clown failed at life *and* death!

It was probably his first time.


Awesome.
 
2013-10-30 08:50:23 PM

MichiganFTL: Sooooo... How many virgins is this worth? Is there a table or a currency converter for this?


He gets to be one of them when this guy makes his run.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-30 08:52:49 PM
ADD reporter...
suicide bomber oh look a tomb....
back to the bomber....
oh look a beach....
 
2013-10-30 08:54:09 PM

iheartscotch: LoneWolf343: You had ONE JOB, suicide bomber! ONE JOB!

/premature detonation

I SWEAR; THIS NEVER HAPPENS TO ME...

/ premature explosion


Liar. Id like to remind you of the last Taco Bell incident.
 
2013-10-30 09:11:17 PM
i143.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-30 09:16:54 PM
Technically this guy was just "a suicide."
 
2013-10-30 09:39:46 PM
Wait, he was "arrested", and blew "himself up on an empty beach"?

That IS some fine police work there, Lou!
 
Rat
2013-10-30 09:46:37 PM
i235.photobucket.com

© boom
 
2013-10-30 09:53:13 PM

ClavellBCMI: A suicide bomber allows himself to be *chased away from his targets*? This clown failed at life *and* death!


Yeah, well...if he was smarter, braver, or more creative he'd probably have chosen a different line of work.

/I wonder how many suicide bombers are actually retarded.
//Yes, I said "retarded." Bite me.
 
2013-10-30 09:56:48 PM

Fuggin Bizzy: ClavellBCMI: A suicide bomber allows himself to be *chased away from his targets*? This clown failed at life *and* death!

Yeah, well...if he was smarter, braver, or more creative he'd probably have chosen a different line of work.

/I wonder how many suicide bombers are actually retarded.
//Yes, I said "retarded." Bite me.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-30 10:49:07 PM
Strange. Suicide bombers don't usually get "chased away" because their goal is to cause as much damage and deaths as possible. Did this bomber have a momentary bout of forgetfulness, only to remember to blow himself up a little too late?
 
2013-10-30 10:58:49 PM
i1017.photobucket.com

Apparently this guy wasn't paying attention in class
 
2013-10-30 11:07:26 PM
On the other hand, it takes a special kind of stupid to chase a suicide bomber anywhere...
 
2013-10-30 11:15:48 PM
Meanwhile, security sources say police have foiled a separate plot to attack ex-President Habib Bourguiba's tomb.

"Dude, this one's gonna be a cakewalk"
 
2013-10-30 11:39:54 PM

GreenSun: Strange. Suicide bombers don't usually get "chased away" because their goal is to cause as much damage and deaths as possible. Did this bomber have a momentary bout of forgetfulness, only to remember to blow himself up a little too late?


There is the possibility of a 'hang-fire' in the first case (the one who blew up on the empty beach). He might have pushed the detonate button, only to not blow up, and then ran away to bomb another day only to have his rig complete the circuit.

/not all of them are successful bombers, ya know
//The other guy forgot where the button was, obliviously
 
2013-10-31 12:39:16 AM
FTFA: A hotel employee told the BBC that the blast occurred at 09:45 local time (08:45 GMT) and that no-one was hurt except for the bomber.

Meanwhile, security sources say police have foiled a separate plot to attack ex-President Habib Bourguiba's tomb.


Okay, so one bomber blew himself up on a beach, and another one was going to blow up a tomb... Have we killed off so many terrorist leaders that the only ones left don't know how to pick good targets for their bombers?
 
2013-10-31 01:02:28 AM
Blew himself up on a nearby beach eh?  The seagulls would have had a field day.

\insert seagull "mine" meme picture
 
2013-10-31 01:14:27 AM
How do they arrest a suicide bomber? Cops pointing a gun at him tell him to get on the ground.

You put the cuffs on him.

You first.

I'm not going near him.

Just tell him to get in the car.

He's not riding with me.

/Yea, I know bomb squad would disarm him first. Still could be funny.
 
2013-10-31 01:29:46 AM

phillydrifter: ClavellBCMI: A suicide bomber allows himself to be *chased away from his targets*? This clown failed at life *and* death!

It was probably his first time.


omg... that is the single funniest shiat I have heard on fark this year.

+1 internets for you, and may jesus have mercy on the souls of your loved ones.  (Because you're going to hell)
 
2013-10-31 01:37:42 AM
so CSB time:

I was working entry control in the sandbox, and the OPS officer came by to ask me about my procedures. I showed him around, and demonstrated our barriers. He asked me how we would react to a VBED.

"Well, I'm probably just gonna wave him through and put 3 rounds in the back of his head."
- WHAT? What about challenging the vehicle?"
"Right, cause he's just gonna say "darn, you got me".
 
2013-10-31 03:34:16 AM
Not so much "problem solved" as "question answered."

Boom!

Yes, that was a suicide bomber.
 
2013-10-31 03:50:34 AM
FTA: "Meanwhile, security sources say police have foiled a separate plot to attack ex-President Habib Bourguiba's tomb."

Ummm...  Bourguiba's been dead for 13 years. Trying to kill a dead guy just makes you look lazy, IMO.
 
2013-10-31 10:33:05 AM

DrPainMD: FTA: "Meanwhile, security sources say police have foiled a separate plot to attack ex-President Habib Bourguiba's tomb."

Ummm...  Bourguiba's been dead for 13 years. Trying to kill a dead guy just makes you look lazy, IMO.


They really, really must have hated that guy.
 
2013-10-31 01:58:40 PM

Combustion: DrPainMD: FTA: "Meanwhile, security sources say police have foiled a separate plot to attack ex-President Habib Bourguiba's tomb."

Ummm...  Bourguiba's been dead for 13 years. Trying to kill a dead guy just makes you look lazy, IMO.

They really, really must have hated that guy.


Or he's a zombie. Oh sure, this guy was the only sane one in the room and look at us mocking him. Now we're dead. Thanks, guys.
 
2013-10-31 02:36:11 PM
Can I just add that I don't get the 72 virgins thing? I mean, 72 whores would be a reward...
 
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