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(Opposing Views)   That's OK, Rabbi. No one likes tofu dogs anyway   (opposingviews.com) divider line 66
    More: Strange, rabbis, vegan hot dog, Hasidic Judaism, early puberty, gay sex, soybeans  
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4059 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2013 at 5:03 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-30 03:33:21 PM
Long, meaty shafts between buns still ok though?
 
2013-10-30 03:36:34 PM
I've been eating soy for decades and it hasn't OH MY GOD SOMEBODY GET ME A COCK RIGHT NOW!
 
2013-10-30 03:49:10 PM
I guess that explains why there are so few people in China.
 
2013-10-30 03:54:42 PM

FloydA: I guess that explains why there are so few people in China.


Odd with the amount of soy they consume, you'd think at least the girls would develop breasts.
 
2013-10-30 04:52:37 PM
Good, he should ban all sorts of things and even say that it's required to cut the end of every boy's penis off...oh wait, right.

Who cares what the religionites ban their own people from having/doing, I hope they ban all the good stuff and end up having miserable lives. So there.
 
2013-10-30 04:56:50 PM

EvilEgg: FloydA: I guess that explains why there are so few people in China.

Odd with the amount of soy they consume, you'd think at least the girls would develop breasts.


They don't drink alot of hormone-laden dairy products.
 
2013-10-30 04:57:22 PM
They sound lime a fun bunch.
 
2013-10-30 04:58:25 PM

img.photobucket.com


THE TORAH DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

 
2013-10-30 04:59:40 PM

vernonFL: They sound lime a fun bunch.


Limes - also not Kosher.  They are frequently used in silly drinks with little umbrellas, and you know who drinks those.
 
2013-10-30 05:06:08 PM
it's Pups, Tofu Pups.
And it's chowing down on meat, not beans, that sends you gay.
 
2013-10-30 05:07:04 PM

Diogenes: vernonFL: They sound lime a fun bunch.

Limes - also not Kosher.  They are frequently used in silly drinks with little umbrellas, and you know who drinks those.


Women? I'm going to say women. What do I win?
 
2013-10-30 05:08:31 PM

lockers: Diogenes: vernonFL: They sound lime a fun bunch.

Limes - also not Kosher.  They are frequently used in silly drinks with little umbrellas, and you know who drinks those.

Women? I'm going to say women. What do I win?


A lime in a coconut?  I didn't think this all the way through. :-(
 
2013-10-30 05:09:31 PM
I don't care what he says, Hebrew National are some of the best dogs you can buy in a store.
 
2013-10-30 05:10:06 PM

vernonFL: They sound lime a fun bunch.


Like any backward ultra-religious fundamentalists nutjobs with stone age mentality.
 
2013-10-30 05:11:56 PM

Diogenes: lockers: Diogenes: vernonFL: They sound lime a fun bunch.

Limes - also not Kosher.  They are frequently used in silly drinks with little umbrellas, and you know who drinks those.

Women? I'm going to say women. What do I win?

A lime in a coconut?  I didn't think this all the way through. :-(


Great, I'll just give it to my wife. Limes are gay.
 
2013-10-30 05:12:52 PM
Who could have guessed that eating tofu would cause you to be gay? I mean come on; tofu was created by hippies, dirty dirty hippies; and is marketed as a meat substitute. What could possibly be gay about that?

/ I keed
 
2013-10-30 05:13:32 PM
If I couldn't eat edamame, I'd look like him too.

failedmessiah.typepad.com

/daughter used to call them "mommy beans"
//her third leg is coming in nicely
 
2013-10-30 05:15:02 PM

Diogenes: lockers: Diogenes: vernonFL: They sound lime a fun bunch.

Limes - also not Kosher.  They are frequently used in silly drinks with little umbrellas, and you know who drinks those.

Women? I'm going to say women. What do I win?

A lime in a coconut?  I didn't think this all the way through. :-(


Eureka !

You put the lime IN the coconut; THEN drink it up.

/ quickly; someone make up a song to that effect
 
2013-10-30 05:16:14 PM
Only a goy can eat soy? Oy.
 
2013-10-30 05:18:59 PM

Grumpy Cat: Only a goy can eat soy? Oy.


Soy is toy goy boy joy ploy
 
2013-10-30 05:22:08 PM

TrixieDelite: If I couldn't eat edamame, I'd look like him too.

[failedmessiah.typepad.com image 400x292]

/daughter used to call them "mommy beans"
//her third leg is coming in nicely


Looks like Santa in mourning.
 
2013-10-30 05:22:29 PM
All-beef sausage still loved by everyone.
 
2013-10-30 05:22:40 PM
I would like to know his opinion on Worcestershire.
 
2013-10-30 05:27:41 PM
They already banned bacon(!!!) and have actually stuck with that for a few millennia now.

That should tell you everything you need to know about the situation.
 
2013-10-30 05:34:28 PM

scottydoesntknow: I don't care what he says, Hebrew National are some of the best dogs you can buy in a store.


AMEN BROTHER!
And so are Kogels hot dogs.
 
2013-10-30 05:36:45 PM

Barfmaker: Good, he should ban all sorts of things and even say that it's required to cut the end of every boy's penis off...oh wait, right.

Who cares what the religionites ban their own people from having/doing, I hope they ban all the good stuff and end up having miserable lives. So there.


Having a bunch of miserable religious fanatics around isn't exactly a happyfuntime recipe for the rest of us.
 
2013-10-30 05:39:44 PM
...........just...................god..............never mind..........
 
2013-10-30 05:46:43 PM
If you aren't man enough to demand real meat, you aren't man enough to fark a woman anyway ... so you might as well go gay.
 
2013-10-30 05:50:43 PM

scottydoesntknow: I don't care what he says, Hebrew National are some of the best dogs you can buy in a store.


Unless they make one with skin-on, they're disqualified.

/Nathan's in natural casing, by a nose ... ear ... tongue ... tail ....
 
2013-10-30 05:52:15 PM
I dunno, what makes straight guys go all Gay all of a sudden? It's a puzzlement?
I know, let's ask the Rabbi.
Hey Rabbi !!

www.opposingviews.com

Oh, um, er, never mind,, carry on mate
*runs*
 
2013-10-30 05:55:16 PM
From what I've seen, consumption of meth leads to gay sex more often than soy does.
 
2013-10-30 05:56:08 PM
Well, it can lead to the license plate ILUVTOFU, right?
 
2013-10-30 06:05:13 PM
That's OK, Rabbi. No one likes tofu dogs anyway.

goldenageofmusicvideo.com

Begs to differ.

Tofu dogs go well with slurpees.
 
2013-10-30 06:20:07 PM
FTA: "Even husbands and wives are forbidden from showing physical or emotional affection for each other and the number of times they may have conjugal relations is strictly regulated."

Hahahaha!!! How farking deluded and gullible do you have to be to let someone else have that kind of control over you? Ultra-Orthodox religious people truly fascinate/horrify me.
 
2013-10-30 06:25:13 PM

FedExPope: FTA: "Even husbands and wives are forbidden from showing physical or emotional affection for each other and the number of times they may have conjugal relations is strictly regulated."

Hahahaha!!! How farking deluded and gullible do you have to be to let someone else have that kind of control over you? Ultra-Orthodox religious people truly fascinate/horrify me.


There goes butt sex while the cotton pony is in the barn.
 
2013-10-30 06:27:24 PM
I once ate a soy, so I completely agree with this guy.  Before the end of the night, I had developed hair in odd places, my voice started to deepen and my testicles dropped into some guy's mouth.
 
2013-10-30 06:33:08 PM
The "Even husbands and wives are forbidden from showing physical or emotional affection for each other and the number of times they may have conjugal relations is strictly regulated."  arises from an embarrassed rabbi (or maybe just media contact) not wanting to go fully into the gory details.

Jewish males are forbidden to have contact with blood. Observant jews therefore to do not have sex when the woman is having her period. Extraordinarily observant jews do not even physically touch when the woman is having her period.  Since modesty also requires that the woman not announce where she is in her cycle, couples don't touch in public in general, since people would then draw conclusions.

Obviously they do show affection in private,.or you wouldn't have little orthodox jews running around.
 
2013-10-30 06:34:29 PM

Grumpy Cat: Only a goy can eat soy? Oy.



Silly rabbi,
Soy is for goys!

[imagine a picture of the Trix rabbit wering a yarmulke here.jpg]
 
2013-10-30 06:35:09 PM

Diogenes: lockers: Diogenes: vernonFL: They sound lime a fun bunch.

Limes - also not Kosher.  They are frequently used in silly drinks with little umbrellas, and you know who drinks those.

Women? I'm going to say women. What do I win?

A lime in a coconut?  I didn't think this all the way through. :-(


ANY reference to Nilsson Schmilsson must be accompanied by a photo of him in his bathrobe.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-10-30 06:35:10 PM
Hey, rabbi, if you don't want to eat soy, don't.  Stop sticking your nose in our business.  kthxbai

By the way, tofu is NOT a meat substitute.  It's an additive to food.  Try throwing some in chicken soup; it's really good.
 
2013-10-30 06:40:35 PM
It's a fact. Some ultra-orthodox types will not eat tomatoes and tomato sauces because they might conceal non-Kosher blood.

To paraphrase Slappy the Squirrel, "Now that's pizza pie-ity!" (rimshot)

KAM is right out.

At the risk of anti-Semitism, I have to say that their logic is sound enough but that they sometimes carry it to the point of absurdity.

The same with worrying that boys will develop breasts. If soya mimics estrogen, then it could cause moobs (or, in the case of boys, "boy-oobs", pronounced "boobs"). And if boys had boobs, then they might get sexy. But the probability of tofu causing boobs is slimmer than Ann Coulter's tolerance, so why worry?

Besides, if they eat an American diet, they're have moobs by the time they are twelve anyway. Might as well enjoy them before they droop. Honk! Honk!
 
2013-10-30 06:41:58 PM

FatherChaos: By the way, tofu is NOT a meat substitute.  It's an additive to food.  Try throwing some in chicken soup; it's really good.


It's a protein source, the same as meat, beans, certain grains, etc.  They all fill the same dietary and nutritional role.


/Tofurky Italian sausage is for my money better than real Italian sausage
//At least the 'real' Italian sausage that is easily found outside of heavily ethnically Italian areas
 
2013-10-30 06:47:56 PM
Its a Hoax, the website that the story originated from has a history of fake articles or unsubstantiated rumors as fact regarding rabbis and the orthodox world. Its a hoax. Also the stuff they said about sex and relationships in the Gur hasidic sect is false too, I got off the phone with a cousin of mine who is a member of the sect in Israel (I am not even close to being anything like this sect, but I have a cousin who became a member), and he assures me all that stuff they wrote about , and in fact that article they linked to on sexuality it that community, the author was found to have made most of her book up and she almost lost tenure at her university because of it. Also there is no ban between men having handshakes, that too was proven false, years ago, but still pops up from anti-hasidic bigots. This article has already proven to be a fake. It pops up every few years or so, and originated years ago as a hoax. One of the rabbis sons (who is a leader within the community) is a peskitarian and is a promoter of soy based product. Even the independent and many websites that posted it have retracted the article and apologized for falling for a hoax

Read this link and you'll understand
http://medium.com/i-m-h-o/8f7499b69c08

and here is a investigation into the article proving it is a hoax
http://www.tabletmag.com/scroll/150876/did-a-hasidic-sect-really-ban -s oy-for-leading-to-gay-sex

cdn.meme.li
 
2013-10-30 06:48:36 PM
I know no one cares, I truly do, but the story has been debunked, He never said anything like what the story is claiming. one blogger said it, and the story got picked  up by slate, sans fact checking. I don't expect anyone to stop the funfest so carry on.
 
2013-10-30 06:51:17 PM

FedExPope: FTA: "Even husbands and wives are forbidden from showing physical or emotional affection for each other and the number of times they may have conjugal relations is strictly regulated."

Hahahaha!!! How farking deluded and gullible do you have to be to let someone else have that kind of control over you? Ultra-Orthodox religious people truly fascinate/horrify me.


That claim was proven to be a hoax, the professor who wrote a book on that hassidic group almost lost her tenure when it came it she made all that shiat up. Many things you read about hasidic jews are fake stuff by people who hate them and know ignorant derps like you will beleive it. If it sounds ridiculous, it probably is fake. Dozens of the crazy article a year come out and nearly every one is a fake that newsoutlets retreat from. Don't fall for it, and don't be an idiot
 
2013-10-30 06:54:55 PM
Oi gaaay
 
2013-10-30 06:56:47 PM
I am beginning to think that they should just rename this site "Opposing Views" and be done with it.
 
2013-10-30 06:58:21 PM
So, a Rabbi walks into a Der Wienerschnitzel and says to the cashier: "Don't worry about only making minimum wage son. Your work will make you free."
 
2013-10-30 06:58:26 PM
 
2013-10-30 06:58:28 PM
:::Insert schmuck joke here:::
 
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