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(Baltimore Sun)   Waiter, I'll have the shrimp salad, filet mignon, some Bacardi shots, two Blue Moons, some cake, a seizure and three hots with a cot   (baltimoresun.com) divider line 27
    More: Amusing, Bacardis, South Broadway, Baltimore Police Department, blue moons, Penn Station, McGrath, salads, Inner Harbor  
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4304 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2013 at 11:50 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-30 11:53:23 AM  
Put it on Dr. Rosenpenis' account.
 
2013-10-30 11:54:13 AM  
Whisper is his ear when he's laying there faking...
" I've got a taser in my hand, and you'll start carping out for REAL, in 5,4,3....2....1..."
 
2013-10-30 11:57:11 AM  
I think Mr. Palmer needs a lot of sausage to straighten his view on these matters.

"Jail House Kielbasa for Mr. Palmer in Cell 8!"
"Has he dropped the soap?"
"Yessir."
"Incoming!"
 
2013-10-30 12:00:24 PM  
Forget filing a report with the police.  Take him out behind the trash bins and beat him 7 shades of snot.  He'll get the message.
 
2013-10-30 12:01:03 PM  

FrancoFile: Put it on Dr. Rosenpenis' account the Underhills' bill.


Maybe you need a refresher course.

/it's all ball bearings nowadays
 
2013-10-30 12:04:20 PM  
Niow I'm hungry for surf and turf. Thanks subby.
 
2013-10-30 12:06:30 PM  
I guess he either read or saw "Choke" and thought a seizure would be easier and safer to fake.
 
2013-10-30 12:10:23 PM  
"When customers skip out on the tab, Shuck said,it typically comes out of the server's paycheck."

What the hell?
 
2013-10-30 12:13:02 PM  
There's a thing you can do to unconscious people who you think are faking it where you push your knuckles hard against their breastplate and move your fist up and down against the bone very quickly about 10 times.

If they don't wake up, they probably really are unconscious.

Learned that one from my EMT friend.
 
2013-10-30 12:15:10 PM  
At least he has good taste in food. Too bad he's a real prick.
 
2013-10-30 12:19:49 PM  
Come on guys, the soup is farking 10 dollars!
 
2013-10-30 12:21:06 PM  

Pinner: carping out


Oh, I love this turn of phrase.
 
2013-10-30 12:23:13 PM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: FrancoFile: Put it on Dr. Rosenpenis' account the Underhills' bill.

Maybe you need a refresher course.

/it's all ball bearings nowadays



Gah!  He's Dr. Rosenpenis, of course.  My bad.

/steak sandwich
//cup of hot fat
 
2013-10-30 12:24:16 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: There's a thing you can do to unconscious people who you think are faking it where you push your knuckles hard against their breastplate and move your fist up and down against the bone very quickly about 10 times.

If they don't wake up, they probably really are unconscious.

Learned that one from my EMT friend.


I'll have to remember that. I have complex-partial seizures, where my level of consciousness can be anywhere from 'dead' to 'alive'. Sometimes I can hear and remember what people say. Sometimes the only way anyone can tell I've seized is when I open my mouth and can't talk. Sometimes I collapse, jerking and twitching.

Of course, when it happens in a restaurant I'm embarrassed,  my dog gets praised, and at the end of the night I pay my damn bill.
 
2013-10-30 12:25:19 PM  

HenryFnord: "When customers skip out on the tab, Shuck said,it typically comes out of the server's paycheck."

What the hell?


Tips actually, as long as they net over the federal minimum wage.
 
2013-10-30 12:30:44 PM  
www.film.com

Has a much better gig.
 
2013-10-30 12:36:18 PM  
More of a "sup & spasm", could also be a "taste & twitch" or a "savor & quaver".
 
2013-10-30 01:07:46 PM  
Shoot.. a feller could have a pretty good weekend in Las Vegas with all that stuff...
 
2013-10-30 01:09:40 PM  

FrancoFile: I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: FrancoFile: Put it on Dr. Rosenpenis' account the Underhills' bill.

Maybe you need a refresher course.

/it's all ball bearings nowadays


Gah!  He's Dr. Rosenpenis, of course.  My bad.

/steak sandwich
//cup of hot fat


That's ok, we still love your body, Larry.
 
2013-10-30 01:11:58 PM  
nice smugshot.
 
2013-10-30 01:16:55 PM  

HenryFnord: "When customers skip out on the tab, Shuck said,it typically comes out of the server's paycheck."

What the hell?


All service staff are thieves so when a customer steals they are an accomplice.

I love this quote: "What's the difference in the end? "

Exactly, what's the difference between crimes?  They're all crimes.  Life in prison for all of them!
 
2013-10-30 01:17:55 PM  

jfivealive: HenryFnord: "When customers skip out on the tab, Shuck said,it typically comes out of the server's paycheck."

What the hell?

Tips actually, as long as they net over the federal minimum wage.


What I would do years  ago with carhops, is they would get a bank at the start of the day to make change from. I would total chits from the shift and they would repay the bank and chit total. What was left was theirs to keep. Any shortages rolled over to the next shift. This kept drive offs under control, as a big one could affect a couple days worth of tips. They were paid minimum wage.
 
2013-10-30 01:22:34 PM  
Getting put in an ambulance and hauled to the ER, not to mention spending a night in jail seems like a lot of work just to get out of a $30 dinner tab.
 
2013-10-30 01:30:37 PM  
Dude's a conehead.

/consumption of mass quantities!
 
2013-10-30 02:42:46 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-30 05:16:37 PM  

little Jeff: Forget filing a report with the police.  Take him out behind the trash bins and beat him 7 shades of snot.  He'll get the message.


This. Some people just require a good ass-kicking.
 
2013-10-31 12:16:19 AM  
One would think that would be counterproductive. Ambulance bills are killer even before the tip.
 
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