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(Rolling Stone)   The thirty-four most insane crimes committed by NFL players that you haven't heard of because everyone focused on the horrible offenses of Michael Vick, Aaron Hernandez, and the Steelers   (rollingstone.com) divider line 58
    More: Interesting, Aaron Hernandez, NFL, Steelers, Josh Brent  
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4244 clicks; posted to Sports » on 30 Oct 2013 at 12:51 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-30 01:04:53 AM  
Boobies of Brady's wife
 
2013-10-30 01:07:30 AM  
Yeah they might be horrible people, but i bet not one of them put together a shiatty slideshow on the internet which places they slightly above rolling stone in my book.
 
2013-10-30 01:16:47 AM  
The thirty-four most insane crimes committed by NFL players...

Lotsa violent farking arseholes on that Iist, but I counted 5 that were arrested for firearms in their luggage. Sure, one was COCKED AND LOADED IN HIS CARRY-ON (facepalm), but hardly "the most insane crimes".
 
2013-10-30 01:17:36 AM  
"The Garden State has stringent laws regarding hollow points, which are particularly damaging and can pierce the vests police use for protection."

aaaargh, this is such crap. Hollow point ammunition very explicitly *won't* go through a vest, or *anything* solid for that matter *because they expand and slow down when they strike something*. Shiat makes me grind my teeth when I see it puked back up in yet another article. If you've got an issue with hollow points because they make extra large holes in people fine, but don't further this stupid shiat again.
 
2013-10-30 01:22:30 AM  
On an unrelated note: I want the lawyer that gets you 80 hours of community service if/when I ever have to literally break a dudes skull for calling me a name.
 
2013-10-30 01:22:58 AM  
Another slideshow that has to refresh the entire page to advance. No thanks.
 
2013-10-30 01:29:50 AM  
I got two or three in before I was told that hollow point bullets like to penetrate cops' vests. Just fark off, Trolling Stone.
 
2013-10-30 01:36:58 AM  
As dumb as forgetting you have a cocked and loaded gun in your luggage is, its a bit unfair to place it in the same catagory as strangling, beating, threatening and shooting people.
 
2013-10-30 01:38:26 AM  
But don't forget, all the thugs are in the NBA.
 
2013-10-30 01:47:27 AM  

violentsalvation: I got two or three in before I was told that hollow point bullets like to penetrate cops' vests. Just fark off, Trolling Stone.


Hollow points are a good shortcut if you're trying to homebrew AP rounds without many tools in an action movie, but the real life results would be literally hit or miss. I wouldn't want to be the guy in the same area with the nail tip and wax filled hollow point bullet that decided to break apart in the barrel and go in random directions. Nearly as scary as that shotgun hammer in Phantasm.
 
2013-10-30 02:44:36 AM  
images.buddytv.com

"A 'black list' of sorts, then? I approve!"
 
2013-10-30 02:45:12 AM  
i.imgur.com

How you doin'?
 
2013-10-30 02:57:19 AM  
So what percentage of people who have played in the NFL years in the last seven years have been charged with a crime versus the rates of getting among the whole population in the same age group?
 
2013-10-30 03:05:34 AM  
 
2013-10-30 03:11:19 AM  
When did rolling stone become the bleacher report?
 
2013-10-30 03:17:01 AM  
Is linking to a slideshow one of them?
 
2013-10-30 03:20:56 AM  

isamudyson: For those of you who don't want to flip though 30+ pages:
http://deslide.clusterfake.net/?o=html_table&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.roll in gstone.com%2Fculture%2Flists%2F34-wild-nfl-crimes-you-havent-heard-abo ut-20131029%2Fmike-goodson-may-17th-2013-19691231


I need a Chrome extension that does that for me.
 
2013-10-30 03:28:20 AM  
Huh.  Former shows up 19 times.  Go figure.
 
2013-10-30 03:30:04 AM  

amindofiron: On an unrelated note: I want the lawyer that gets you 80 hours of community service if/when I ever have to literally break a dudes skull for calling me a name.


The guy with oxy was the only one who did anything to lessen his charges outside of strictly having a great lawyer... How do you get caught cutting up line of coke in your car two bags of coke and a jar of weed and get diversion.
 
2013-10-30 04:29:31 AM  
List fails without Mossy Cade
 
2013-10-30 04:37:47 AM  
(scans for Packers)

*Brandon Underwood, June 10, 2010

(scans to see what happened afterward)

*Remained on team long enough to get Super Bowl ring. (He played, but was not one of the 19 Packers to record a tackle.) The same night he got the ring, ripped championship medallion off wife's neck and threw her to the ground, an incident not mentioned in the article. Became one of the early cuts in 2011 preseason, to general delight of Packers fanbase.
 
2013-10-30 05:01:59 AM  
BEEP BEEP NFL ROLE MODEL COMING THRU

img.fark.net
 
2013-10-30 07:09:22 AM  
Rae Carruth hello?

Also came to rage about the hollow-point nonsense but seems that got covered well enough.
 
2013-10-30 07:12:14 AM  
All the money in the world can't cure ghetto behavior.
 
2013-10-30 07:16:28 AM  
media.scout.com
I left you a present in your laundry basket
 
2013-10-30 07:16:58 AM  
Basically the majority of these charges could have been avoided if:

1:  Idiots who had no business carrying a gun, didn't carry a gun

2:  Idiots who can't handle their alcohol, didn't drink so much
 
2013-10-30 07:25:02 AM  

LoneDoggie: Rae Carruth hello?


No one needs to go back to the 90s to make this list.  The real crime is not listing the two dipshiat cowboys players responsible for three deaths.
 
2013-10-30 07:29:36 AM  

Snapper Carr: [i.imgur.com image 216x300]

How you doin'?


Was he on the list?  I only made it half way through the slideshow before I quit.  Anyway, from what I gathered, he diddled a child and instead of a 10 year sentence, he received a $2000 fine.  WTF?  Is there anything else I should know?  I'm a Cowboys fan and never knew of this.
 
2013-10-30 07:39:52 AM  

bel4sucks: LoneDoggie: Rae Carruth hello?

No one needs to go back to the 90s to make this list.  The real crime is not listing the two dipshiat cowboys players responsible for three deaths.


But people heard about both of those.
 
2013-10-30 07:51:07 AM  
For the St. Louis RAMs, we had more than one player who killed someone with their car and were never charged with anything, so they won't be appearing on that list. I guess the "get one kill for free" rule applies for most athletes as long as they have good stats that season (lawyers sold separately).
 
2013-10-30 08:04:31 AM  

pkellmey: For the St. Louis RAMs, we had more than one player who killed someone with their car and were never charged with anything, so they won't be appearing on that list. I guess the "get one kill for free" rule applies for most athletes as long as they have good stats that season (lawyers sold separately).


Leonard Little and who else? Pretty sure he got manslaughter.
 
2013-10-30 08:12:53 AM  
How badly did those MPs have to fark up to lose Kenny Britt's DUI case?  That's one of the easiest slam dunks there is for cops.  Most judges will happily take a "to me he looked drunk" as iron clad evidence when it comes from a cop.
 
2013-10-30 08:33:41 AM  

JohnnyRebel88: Was he on the list? I only made it half way through the slideshow before I quit. Anyway, from what I gathered, he diddled a child and instead of a 10 year sentence, he received a $2000 fine. WTF? Is there anything else I should know? I'm a Cowboys fan and never knew of this.


That's pretty much it. Indecency with a child. Sentence: $2000 and 10 deferred adjudication He dropped out of the public eye immediately after being cut and once his "sentence" was up, returned to Mexico.
 
2013-10-30 08:51:02 AM  
Does a murder suicide not count? Or do you have to be charged?
 
2013-10-30 08:58:59 AM  
Getting into a fight<carrying an unregistered firearm<using coke<killing dogs<domestic violence<rape<killing people<murder
 
2013-10-30 09:36:03 AM  
a .45-caliber semi-automatic handgun loaded with hollow-point bullets and two marijuana cigars

That's just silly. Who loads a gun with blunts?
 
2013-10-30 09:41:45 AM  
Failure to Wear Seatbelt:

i.usatoday.net
 
2013-10-30 09:46:20 AM  
Let's see....arrested for carrying a handgun in luggage at an airport (including one who was arrested after bringing it to TSA's attention himself), numerous domestic violence charges, a bunch of drunk & punching people, a few possession of narcotics charges...how is any of this "insane", again?

Maybe Fark has spoiled me, but when I read "insane crimes" I expect incidents which include fast food, samurai swords, and/or nudity involving barnyard animals.
 
2013-10-30 09:46:39 AM  
A lot of violence against women.  Ick.
 
2013-10-30 09:48:26 AM  

farbekrieg: Yeah they might be horrible people, but i bet not one of them put together a shiatty slideshow on the internet which places they slightly above rolling stone in my book.


Here's the thing for me about Internet slideshows.  There are a way to do them properly from a technical standpoint and there's a type of article that they're useful for.  This is neither.

A good slideshow from a technical standpoint works like they do at Cracked.com -- everything loads at once into one single page, you can tabe through the slides quickly and easily with your keyboard, everything is formatted to show up on a single screen without scrolling, and you have a page list at the bottom so you can jump around easily.

A good slideshow from a content standpoint -- it has to be visual.  Pictures?  Fine.  Well-crafted charts?  Eh, okay, I guess.  Giant farking blocks of text?  NO.
 
2013-10-30 09:51:57 AM  

browneye: A lot of violence against women.  Ick.


They're golddiggers anyway.
 
2013-10-30 10:02:29 AM  
Robaire Smith, who played for four clubs over a 12-year career, was arrested for carrying a gun in his luggage at Flint's Bishop Airport. Smith told authorities he forgot he packed the Belgium 5.7 gun, which contained between 15 and 17 rounds in its magazine.

So, sixteen?
 
2013-10-30 10:23:49 AM  

UNC_Samurai: Basically the majority of these charges could have been avoided if:

1:  Idiots who had no business carrying a gun, didn't carry a gun

2:  Idiots who can't handle their alcohol, didn't drink so much


Take #1 a step further - how many of these idiots packed a gun and tried to bring it through airport security and then said they didn't know it was in there?  It seemed like almost all of them.
 
2013-10-30 10:30:16 AM  

amindofiron: "The Garden State has stringent laws regarding hollow points, which are particularly damaging and can pierce the vests police use for protection."

aaaargh, this is such crap. Hollow point ammunition very explicitly *won't* go through a vest, or *anything* solid for that matter *because they expand and slow down when they strike something*. Shiat makes me grind my teeth when I see it puked back up in yet another article. If you've got an issue with hollow points because they make extra large holes in people fine, but don't further this stupid shiat again.


AKA how to shorten the lives of gun fetishists by giving them an aneurysm.
 
2013-10-30 10:32:43 AM  

DerpHerder: How do you get caught cutting up line of coke in your car two bags of coke and a jar of weed and get diversion.


Be rich.
 
2013-10-30 10:35:56 AM  

Gecko Gingrich: a .45-caliber semi-automatic handgun loaded with hollow-point bullets and two marijuana cigars

That's just silly. Who loads a gun with blunts?


You stick the point end right in the hollow point.  Makes it blow through vests even better.
 
2013-10-30 10:43:23 AM  
What about Jay cutler? He has a jerk-face!! And if that's not a crime then it should be!
 
2013-10-30 10:50:10 AM  

Snapper Carr: JohnnyRebel88: Was he on the list? I only made it half way through the slideshow before I quit. Anyway, from what I gathered, he diddled a child and instead of a 10 year sentence, he received a $2000 fine. WTF? Is there anything else I should know? I'm a Cowboys fan and never knew of this.

That's pretty much it. Indecency with a child. Sentence: $2000 and 10 deferred adjudication He dropped out of the public eye immediately after being cut and once his "sentence" was up, returned to Mexico.


Wow that's disturbing.  It was so easy to push paper trails and reports under the carpet in the 80's and I would assume buy judges with season tickets or a couple hookers.  If it did get national attention, it probaly went away right after they let him off because the lack of the net and national reporting.

Maybe he didn't do what we are thinking he did.  Or maybe, as you stated, ran to Mexico after being cut because he did do something pretty bad and didn't want to push his luck by staying in the US.

The Cowboys were tolerant in the late 80's to present under the ownership of Jones, but I don't know too much about the Landry years. From what I remember Tom Landry was a respectable man, I don't think he would tolerate a diddler, and not just because they are The Cowboys and are always under a microscope, because he seemed like an old school kinda guy.  But so did Joe Paterno, so who knows what someone is capable of.

And for the person above that mentioned Rae Carruth, I believe that everyone who was old enough, remembers what  Rae did.  Did you know he is due to be released in 2018. That time went quite quickly for a murder rap.
 
2013-10-30 11:02:37 AM  

Ray_Finkle: What about Jay cutler? He has a jerk-face!! And if that's not a crime then it should be!


Don't you mean Dan Marino, Lois?
 
2013-10-30 11:20:37 AM  

davidphogan: Huh.  Former shows up 19 times.  Go figure.


Given how many former players made the list, I'm surprised Titus Young and his May crime spree (DUI, attempting to steal his car from the impound lot, burglary, resisting arrest and assaulting an officer) wasn't in there.
 
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