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(Daily Star)   If you're heading to hospital for urgent penis re-attachment surgery, remember to pack a) your toothbrush b) some grapes c) your penis   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 63
    More: Dumbass  
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4748 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Oct 2013 at 2:28 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-29 01:17:17 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-10-29 01:30:48 PM
Having brought shame to his family, they've now forced him to change is name to Su Wang.
 
2013-10-29 01:31:35 PM
How does that operation compare to non-urgent penis reattachment surgery?
 
2013-10-29 01:37:00 PM

UberDave: How does that operation compare to non-urgent penis reattachment surgery?


Depends on if you're Ann Coulter.
 
2013-10-29 01:38:02 PM
If I had a nickle...
 
2013-10-29 01:45:06 PM
i236.photobucket.com.
i236.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-29 01:48:15 PM
how the hell does someone forget their penis!??
 
2013-10-29 01:52:54 PM

xanadian: how the hell does someone forget their penis!??


There have been some penises I've tried to forget.  None of them mine, though.
 
2013-10-29 02:32:43 PM
I'd better remember to write that down somewhere...  Perhaps on my penis...
 
2013-10-29 02:33:31 PM
A day late and a baller short.
 
2013-10-29 02:35:13 PM
He was hoping to pick up a newer model...
 
2013-10-29 02:36:49 PM
What do you need that for, Dude?

assets.sbnation.com
 
2013-10-29 02:36:54 PM
What? How the fark can you forget your penis? It is attach----- Oh Right....
 
2013-10-29 02:38:37 PM
www.spin.com
 
2013-10-29 02:40:17 PM
After not getting it reattached I'd say he gave the hospital staff WAY too big of a tip.
 
2013-10-29 02:40:25 PM
There's a saying about a guy who is absent minded; "Well he's forget his dick if it wasn't attached". I guess it's not just a saying anymore.
 
2013-10-29 02:41:06 PM

Shazam999: I'd better remember to write that down somewhere...  Perhaps on my penis...


The next chick you bring home might wonder the significance of "Don't forget" in gothic script.
 
2013-10-29 02:41:28 PM
This is why we invented mitten strings.

onelittleproject.com
 
2013-10-29 02:43:24 PM

miss diminutive: This is why we invented mitten strings.

[onelittleproject.com image 588x392]


There's a lot of money to be made in Cock Socks.
 
2013-10-29 02:43:43 PM

xanadian: how the hell does someone forget their penis!??


Not for nothing, but I have never had to remember to bring it with me in almost 52 years of life. He always seems to be hanging around somewhere, and goes wherever I go without having to be told, thought about, or remembered.
 
2013-10-29 02:47:05 PM
junkee.com
 
2013-10-29 02:48:45 PM

farkingismybusiness: miss diminutive: This is why we invented mitten strings.

[onelittleproject.com image 588x392]

There's a lot of money to be made in Cock Socks.


Order two Cock Socks and we'll throw in a set of Testisocks for free! Operators are standing by.
 
2013-10-29 02:55:04 PM
an adadictomy is usually an out patient procedure
 
2013-10-29 02:57:16 PM
I have been depressed in my life.
I have been very drunk in my life.
I have never contemplated cutting my penis.

The worst I have done when I started shaving is to put some aftershave on it... Never again.
 
2013-10-29 02:58:23 PM

xanadian: how the hell does someone forget their penis!??


How the hell does someone CYCLE to the hospital to have it re-attached to his body after hacking it off?
 
2013-10-29 02:59:42 PM
Once again:  I was an EMT in the 80s.  Man shaved off one of his balls with a Bic razor.  When the team got there, he kept saying "I'm no man, I'm no man".  The crew told him he was way more man then they were, as they could not sit for a half hour hacking at theirs until it came off.
 
2013-10-29 03:01:39 PM
Um, yeah. After cutting it off, he was well enough to bike to the hospital, bike back to retrieve the penis, and to the hospital again? I know the Daily Star is a tabloid and all, but there's a fine line between sensationalism and implausibility.
 
2013-10-29 03:02:14 PM
Actually since I replaced my penis with a toothbrush, I've tripled my daily beej quotient.

Oh, and I get sucked more too.
 
2013-10-29 03:02:55 PM

zabadu: xanadian: how the hell does someone forget their penis!??

How the hell does someone CYCLE to the hospital to have it re-attached to his body after hacking it off?


It takes a lot of balls.
 
2013-10-29 03:09:16 PM

farkingismybusiness: zabadu: xanadian: how the hell does someone forget their penis!??

How the hell does someone CYCLE to the hospital to have it re-attached to his body after hacking it off?

It takes a lot of balls.


Well, it's all he's got left anyway.
 
2013-10-29 03:09:37 PM
Eddie Adams from Torrance:
[i236.photobucket.com image 240x180].
[i236.photobucket.com image 228x450]


Do a google image search for "penis splitting".  You'll smile and laugh, I promise.  People do it for fun.
 
2013-10-29 03:11:03 PM
His mom always told him he'd forget his head dick if it wasn't attached. or something.
 
2013-10-29 03:15:36 PM
A distraught city slicker named Yang
Decided to hack off his wang
Now what pain or strife
In this young man's life
Was bad enough to not let it hang?
 
2013-10-29 03:16:04 PM

miss diminutive: farkingismybusiness: miss diminutive: This is why we invented mitten strings.

[onelittleproject.com image 588x392]

There's a lot of money to be made in Cock Socks.

Order two Cock Socks and we'll throw in a set of Testisocks for free! Operators are standing by.


We need more genitalia apparel.

/I'm thinking penish top-hats
//And boob monocles
 
2013-10-29 03:20:12 PM

zabadu: Once again:  I was an EMT in the 80s.  Man shaved off one of his balls with a Bic razor.  When the team got there, he kept saying "I'm no man, I'm no man".  The crew told him he was way more man then they were, as they could not sit for a half hour hacking at theirs until it came off.


Okay, got to ask. How? Unless Bic sells different razors in your area, all I've seen would only take off a sliver at a time.... Wait.

*cringe*
 
2013-10-29 03:25:03 PM

No Such Agency: Eddie Adams from Torrance:
[i236.photobucket.com image 240x180].
[i236.photobucket.com image 228x450]

Do a google image search for "penis splitting".  You'll smile and laugh, I promise.  People do it for fun.


i236.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-29 03:25:52 PM
bopis:

Do a google image search for "penis splitting".  You'll smile and laugh, I promise.  People do it for fun.

Not on your life...
 
2013-10-29 03:30:07 PM

No Such Agency: Do a google image search for "penis splitting".  You'll smile and laugh, I promise.  People do it for fun.


Or you could do a Google Video search for the following terms:

Prince Albert Piercing
Jacobs Ladder Piercing
Scrotal Piercing
Frenulum Piercing
 
2013-10-29 03:39:15 PM

hardinparamedic: No Such Agency: Do a google image search for "penis splitting".  You'll smile and laugh, I promise.  People do it for fun.

Or you could do a Google Video search for the following terms:

Prince Albert Piercing
Jacobs Ladder Piercing
Scrotal Piercing
Frenulum Piercing


Yes, except there are approximately 85,000 other things that we would prefer to see videos of.
 
2013-10-29 03:39:20 PM
If I'm that second guy I don't want my picture used for this article.
 
2013-10-29 03:39:35 PM
Agghh.. Okay, the entire area in the vicinity of my package has now notified me that reading any more of this thread is forbidden!
 
2013-10-29 03:39:56 PM

zabadu: xanadian: how the hell does someone forget their penis!??

How the hell does someone CYCLE to the hospital to have it re-attached to his body after hacking it off?


It's a great way to stay in shape.
 
2013-10-29 03:41:04 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Yes, except there are approximately 85,000 other things that we would prefer to see videos of.


Don't knock it till you've tried it...

upload.wikimedia.org

Just a lil' off the tip, mate.
 
2013-10-29 03:46:26 PM
Always carry a spare.
 
2013-10-29 03:46:32 PM

No Such Agency: Eddie Adams from Torrance:
[i236.photobucket.com image 240x180].
[i236.photobucket.com image 228x450]

Do a google image search for "penis splitting".  You'll smile and laugh, I promise.  People do it for fun.


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-10-29 03:47:08 PM

Mugato:


Best penis song ever.
 
2013-10-29 03:51:17 PM

AllUpInYa: bopis:

Do a google image search for "penis splitting".  You'll smile and laugh, I promise.  People do it for fun.

Not on your life...


Librul media! I didn't say that!
 
2013-10-29 03:54:35 PM
images.wikia.com
 
2013-10-29 03:56:10 PM
OK, OK, put a hot dog on there instead - maybe a Ball Park Frank - they plump when you cook 'em.
 
2013-10-29 04:01:10 PM

Nightsweat: OK, OK, put a hot dog on there instead - maybe a Ball Park Frank - they plump when you cook 'em.


Forget that, he's in Asia!  Just slap an octopus on there and tell them you're from the movies.
 
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