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(Telegraph)   You're the solo pianist. And the rest of the orchestra strikes up a completely different Mozart tune than the one you were expecting. How would you react?   (blogs.telegraph.co.uk) divider line 126
    More: Cool, concertos, Mozart, pianists, orchestras  
•       •       •

11095 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Oct 2013 at 1:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



126 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-29 12:06:18 AM  
Start playing "Dueling Banjos".
 
2013-10-29 12:19:14 AM  
Start playing Queen.
 
2013-10-29 12:34:31 AM  
Start dueling the Queen.
 
2013-10-29 12:49:38 AM  
Shoot the hostage.
 
2013-10-29 12:59:35 AM  
Fake a seizure.
 
2013-10-29 01:01:24 AM  
Scream "DETROIT ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?"
 
2013-10-29 01:01:26 AM  
masturbate furiously.

/what I would do.
 
2013-10-29 01:01:31 AM  
Waste them with my crossbow.
 
2013-10-29 01:01:48 AM  
Shut down everything
 
2013-10-29 01:02:45 AM  
can I change my answer?

"see you on the darkside of the moon"
 
2013-10-29 01:06:58 AM  
I would turn it up to 11
 
2013-10-29 01:09:53 AM  
It sounds like the conductor did this on purpose, just to see what would happen.
 
2013-10-29 01:19:02 AM  
I'd probably post a a link on fark to something that happened 15 years ago.
 
2013-10-29 01:19:31 AM  
Twerk on the Queen.
 
HBK
2013-10-29 01:22:53 AM  

Chariset: It sounds like the conductor did this on purpose, just to see what would happen.


Yeah, that guy seemed like a real dick.
 
2013-10-29 01:25:34 AM  
Pull a Bieber
 
2013-10-29 01:34:55 AM  
Start dancing?
www.mtv.com
 
2013-10-29 01:35:18 AM  
Jump up on the piano and

i.imgur.com

Or just play something by Brubeck.
 
2013-10-29 01:35:18 AM  
Play some Skynyrd.
 
2013-10-29 01:41:17 AM  

Chariset: It sounds like the conductor did this on purpose, just to see what would happen.


It's not like anyone would notice if she played a completely different piece. Most people don't go to the symphony to hear the orchestra. They go to the symphony to be seen at the symphony.
 
2013-10-29 01:42:11 AM  
There in lies the problem of focusing too much on the technicalities, you forget your spontaneity.  Good on her for pulling through though.
 
2013-10-29 01:45:19 AM  
Not a problem at all ... if I'm a solo pianist.

//what does God need with a starship a solo pianist need with accompaniment?
 
2013-10-29 01:45:56 AM  
Start slamming my head down on the keys over and over, screaming "Oh, I'll never get it right!  Never!  Never! Never!"
 
2013-10-29 01:49:45 AM  
See, there in lies my contention about certain 'musicians'.

They may be virtuosos at what they do ie, play an amazining concert piece by a well known composer, but the moment you ask them to actually PLAY the piano, they have no farkin clue.
Music by numbers.

Improvise, biatch. Freeform that muthaconcert hall out, dawg. Or fein a heart-attack, or something dramatic (masturbation has been suggested, I see), instead of sitting there looking like a right dummy.
 
2013-10-29 01:52:56 AM  
John Cage 4'33".
 
2013-10-29 01:53:28 AM  
Ahhh....D minor. The saddest of all keys. She should have just eased into "Lick My Love Pump"
 
2013-10-29 01:56:07 AM  
One word: Honkytonk
 
2013-10-29 01:57:00 AM  
Pull an Axl Rose and storm off the stage.

Or just play Chopsticks.
 
2013-10-29 02:02:59 AM  

GungFu: See, there in lies my contention about certain 'musicians'.

They may be virtuosos at what they do ie, play an amazining concert piece by a well known composer, but the moment you ask them to actually PLAY the piano, they have no farkin clue.
Music by numbers.

Improvise, biatch. Freeform that muthaconcert hall out, dawg. Or fein a heart-attack, or something dramatic (masturbation has been suggested, I see), instead of sitting there looking like a right dummy.


Improvise? WTF do you think this is, amateur hour at the Mozart Disco?

There's a reason that we have written-down music. It's because it's supposed to be played  as it's written down. If I hire a Beatles cover band and the lead guitarist start f*cking off and decides to try out shredding,  he's doing it wrong.

You can't f*cking improvise a Mozart (well, except for in the cadenzas where you're encouraged to improvise), the same way you can't f*cking improvise The Beatles. You can play stuff that might sound kinda similar, but  that's not the point.
 
2013-10-29 02:06:45 AM  

Rincewind53: GungFu: See, there in lies my contention about certain 'musicians'.

They may be virtuosos at what they do ie, play an amazining concert piece by a well known composer, but the moment you ask them to actually PLAY the piano, they have no farkin clue.
Music by numbers.

Improvise, biatch. Freeform that muthaconcert hall out, dawg. Or fein a heart-attack, or something dramatic (masturbation has been suggested, I see), instead of sitting there looking like a right dummy.

Improvise? WTF do you think this is, amateur hour at the Mozart Disco?

There's a reason that we have written-down music. It's because it's supposed to be played  as it's written down. If I hire a Beatles cover band and the lead guitarist start f*cking off and decides to try out shredding,  he's doing it wrong.

You can't f*cking improvise a Mozart (well, except for in the cadenzas where you're encouraged to improvise), the same way you can't f*cking improvise The Beatles. You can play stuff that might sound kinda similar, but  that's not the point.


I think you can improvise the Beatles. Mozart, I'll agree with you.
 
2013-10-29 02:07:59 AM  
Hey, internet, I can't always watch theses videos, so stop with the "watch what happened" crap and just tell me.
 
2013-10-29 02:11:48 AM  

sat1va: Rincewind53: GungFu: See, there in lies my contention about certain 'musicians'.

They may be virtuosos at what they do ie, play an amazining concert piece by a well known composer, but the moment you ask them to actually PLAY the piano, they have no farkin clue.
Music by numbers.

Improvise, biatch. Freeform that muthaconcert hall out, dawg. Or fein a heart-attack, or something dramatic (masturbation has been suggested, I see), instead of sitting there looking like a right dummy.

Improvise? WTF do you think this is, amateur hour at the Mozart Disco?

There's a reason that we have written-down music. It's because it's supposed to be played  as it's written down. If I hire a Beatles cover band and the lead guitarist start f*cking off and decides to try out shredding,  he's doing it wrong.

You can't f*cking improvise a Mozart (well, except for in the cadenzas where you're encouraged to improvise), the same way you can't f*cking improvise The Beatles. You can play stuff that might sound kinda similar, but  that's not the point.

I think you can improvise the Beatles. Mozart, I'll agree with you.


One must make a distinction between a Beatles tribute band and a Beatles cover band.

The latter can take some liberties; the former cannot.
 
2013-10-29 02:12:02 AM  

sat1va: I think you can improvise the Beatles. Mozart, I'll agree with you.


You can pretty easily improvise a song that  sounds like the Beatles, but it's not a Beatles song.
 
2013-10-29 02:12:14 AM  
Start playing the opening chords to No Quarter.
 
2013-10-29 02:14:01 AM  
According to one Mewling Quim in the comments section, she used The Force:

"Letting go of muscle memory. Letting go of everything. Except the ineffable. Except what is found within the soul. What she found in hers. And Chailly's. And the first violinist's, who eyes she desperately looked into for guidance and connection into the soul of each member of the orchestra. So much there that night. Muscle memory? No. Release. Into grace. Into soul. Just the soul. That simple. Mozart's soul. Listening to him and what what lay in his soul when he first felt and heard that concerto inside him; no doubt in it's entirety. Only writing down the notes sometime later. Likely without laying a finger on a key. Only his pen to paper.
She found the grace through her massive gift to shift gears, settle, find peace and express. And yes. Chailly gave her strength. He was certain that Mozart was there. In the souls of that entire ensemble. Yes. She was amazing."

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-10-29 02:16:21 AM  
I'd freak out and run because I can't play the piano.
 
2013-10-29 02:17:48 AM  

GungFu: See, there in lies my contention about certain 'musicians'.

They may be virtuosos at what they do ie, play an amazining concert piece by a well known composer, but the moment you ask them to actually PLAY the piano, they have no farkin clue.
Music by numbers.

Improvise, biatch. Freeform that muthaconcert hall out, dawg. Or fein a heart-attack, or something dramatic (masturbation has been suggested, I see), instead of sitting there looking like a right dummy.


She didn't "sit there looking like a dummy", she had a moment of panic when she realized what was happening, resigned herself to the situation, then played the correct piece from memory, and played it well.  It's a testament to the powers of the human mind.

If you were to ask her to "just play the piano", she would have no problem entertaining you for hours, have no doubt.
 
2013-10-29 02:18:20 AM  
Play some type of deep low blues piano. At a completely different tempo. That would really screw with the conductor
 
2013-10-29 02:22:04 AM  

Thunderboy: GungFu: See, there in lies my contention about certain 'musicians'.

They may be virtuosos at what they do ie, play an amazining concert piece by a well known composer, but the moment you ask them to actually PLAY the piano, they have no farkin clue.
Music by numbers.

Improvise, biatch. Freeform that muthaconcert hall out, dawg. Or fein a heart-attack, or something dramatic (masturbation has been suggested, I see), instead of sitting there looking like a right dummy.

She didn't "sit there looking like a dummy", she had a moment of panic when she realized what was happening, resigned herself to the situation, then played the correct piece from memory, and played it well.  It's a testament to the powers of the human mind.

If you were to ask her to "just play the piano", she would have no problem entertaining you for hours, have no doubt.


Wow, she remembered!

Woo!
 
2013-10-29 02:23:16 AM  
Or throw up a fist and start head banging.
 
2013-10-29 02:24:17 AM  
Maybe mosh around the stage. They epic stage dive into the crowd
 
2013-10-29 02:24:58 AM  

GungFu: Wow, she remembered!

Woo!


You clearly know almost nothing about being a professional musician. Congratulations on letting the world know.
 
2013-10-29 02:25:19 AM  

jeanwearinfool: masturbate furiously.

/what I would do.


I believe that is when the plane you are a passenger is headed to an imminent crash.
 
2013-10-29 02:25:43 AM  

Rincewind53: GungFu: See, there in lies my contention about certain 'musicians'.

They may be virtuosos at what they do ie, play an amazining concert piece by a well known composer, but the moment you ask them to actually PLAY the piano, they have no farkin clue.
Music by numbers.

Improvise, biatch. Freeform that muthaconcert hall out, dawg. Or fein a heart-attack, or something dramatic (masturbation has been suggested, I see), instead of sitting there looking like a right dummy.

Improvise? WTF do you think this is, amateur hour at the Mozart Disco?

There's a reason that we have written-down music. It's because it's supposed to be played  as it's written down. If I hire a Beatles cover band and the lead guitarist start f*cking off and decides to try out shredding,  he's doing it wrong.

You can't f*cking improvise a Mozart (well, except for in the cadenzas where you're encouraged to improvise), the same way you can't f*cking improvise The Beatles. You can play stuff that might sound kinda similar, but  that's not the point.



Still better than sitting there like an idiot. I would have plink plonked my ass off  and be recognised as an artist, and not a paint-by-numbers musician.
 
2013-10-29 02:28:04 AM  

Rincewind53: GungFu: Wow, she remembered!

Woo!

You clearly know almost nothing about being a professional musician. Congratulations on letting the world know.


I'd be professional enough to have known what the actual music I was hired to play that night. Ouch, biatch!
 
2013-10-29 02:29:26 AM  

Thunderboy: GungFu: See, there in lies my contention about certain 'musicians'.

They may be virtuosos at what they do ie, play an amazining concert piece by a well known composer, but the moment you ask them to actually PLAY the piano, they have no farkin clue.
Music by numbers.

Improvise, biatch. Freeform that muthaconcert hall out, dawg. Or fein a heart-attack, or something dramatic (masturbation has been suggested, I see), instead of sitting there looking like a right dummy.

She didn't "sit there looking like a dummy", she had a moment of panic when she realized what was happening, resigned herself to the situation, then played the correct piece from memory, and played it well.  It's a testament to the powers of the human mind.

If you were to ask her to "just play the piano", she would have no problem entertaining you for hours, have no doubt.


Yes your right. After the oh crap there was a screw up and there playing a different piece moment. She also had to calm down. But figure out where a good place to jump in is. She could have started at the wrong time and it would not have sounded right
 
2013-10-29 02:30:58 AM  

GungFu: Still better than sitting there like an idiot. I would have plink plonked my ass off  and be recognised as an artist, and not a paint-by-numbers musician.


Keep digging that hole.
 
2013-10-29 02:31:15 AM  
i.perezhilton.com
 
2013-10-29 02:32:57 AM  

Harry_Seldon: jeanwearinfool: masturbate furiously.

/what I would do.

I believe that is when the plane you are a passenger is headed to an imminent crash.


My wife and I watch the aircraft crash show on Smithsonian. I cant think of the name right now. And I told her one. If we are ever on a plane thats having a problem and has to crash land or circle for hours before making an emergency landing. I dont care what anyone says. Ill bee smoking that whole time. I figure 50/50 shot being charged with a crime and dieing.
 
2013-10-29 02:35:23 AM  

Harry_Seldon: [i.perezhilton.com image 200x171]


This always pissed me off. My cousins friend was the drummer. And the whole band where fired and black balled for a while over this.
 
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