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(Daily Dot)   The Internet can hear you awkwardly flirting with strippers in Grand Theft Auto V   (dailydot.com) divider line 102
    More: Fail, Grand Theft Auto, voice chat, security experts  
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7515 clicks; posted to Geek » on 28 Oct 2013 at 8:27 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-28 06:59:41 PM
"We admit this is probably yet another stupid internet hoax where some asshat with a lame script is attention whoring for some inane and pointless purpose, but hell, we'll continue spreading the bullshiat anyway because we're no better than that, either."
 
2013-10-28 08:02:43 PM
I have heard other players scream "PUT THE MONEY IN THE FARKING BAG!" or other variations to make the store clerk go faster. I did it once just to test it, but with the mic off, and it worked all the same.

It also lets you know other players are robbing the store so you can go shoot their tires out and watch the ensuing chaos as they try to run from the police.
 
2013-10-28 08:42:56 PM
I had wondered if everyone else could hear me shouting in the middle of a robbery. That's why I only did it once in a lobby by myself
 
2013-10-28 08:45:29 PM

scottydoesntknow: I have heard other players scream "PUT THE MONEY IN THE FARKING BAG!" or other variations to make the store clerk go faster. I did it once just to test it, but with the mic off, and it worked all the same.

It also lets you know other players are robbing the store so you can go shoot their tires out and watch the ensuing chaos as they try to run from the police.


i1.ytimg.com
PUT IT IN!
 
2013-10-28 08:48:26 PM
There's a setting you can toggle that stops other players from hearing what you're saying into your mic.  I always turn it on before I rob a store or talk to a stripper.

But I haven't robbed any convenience stores in a while.  My favorite way of earning money is doing races; it's fun and you can make a lot of money in a short amount of time if you're good at it.
 
2013-10-28 08:51:12 PM
The shower and stripper points are any sounded activated. All I do is rub the mic back and fourth. Am I rubbing one? Maybe.

Shooting up the store makes them go faster.
 
2013-10-28 08:58:46 PM
Has anyone created a Fark crew yet?
 
2013-10-28 09:07:21 PM

darkjezter: There's a setting you can toggle that stops other players from hearing what you're saying into your mic.  I always turn it on before I rob a store or talk to a stripper.

But I haven't robbed any convenience stores in a while.  My favorite way of earning money is doing races; it's fun and you can make a lot of money in a short amount of time if you're good at it.


That's my thing too. I get really irritated with the races sometimes though. I get that it's GTA but most people don't even try to race clean. GTAO is like the /b/ of online games.
 
2013-10-28 09:26:22 PM

Hiro Nakamura: darkjezter: There's a setting you can toggle that stops other players from hearing what you're saying into your mic.  I always turn it on before I rob a store or talk to a stripper.

But I haven't robbed any convenience stores in a while.  My favorite way of earning money is doing races; it's fun and you can make a lot of money in a short amount of time if you're good at it.

That's my thing too. I get really irritated with the races sometimes though. I get that it's GTA but most people don't even try to race clean. GTAO is like the /b/ of online games.


The races (especially on the motorcycle) should be more like this

www.theunrealtimes.com
 
2013-10-28 09:36:49 PM

Hiro Nakamura: darkjezter: There's a setting you can toggle that stops other players from hearing what you're saying into your mic.  I always turn it on before I rob a store or talk to a stripper.

But I haven't robbed any convenience stores in a while.  My favorite way of earning money is doing races; it's fun and you can make a lot of money in a short amount of time if you're good at it.

That's my thing too. I get really irritated with the races sometimes though. I get that it's GTA but most people don't even try to race clean. GTAO is like the /b/ of online games.


GTAO is the first online multiplayer I've ever played so I don't know how it measures up to others. I had to stop doing the races because I was getting so mad at assholes trying to spin out my car. Then I would get even more pissed because people would just kill me for no reason in free mode. Then I was getting even madder because I was allowing myself to get mad at a bunch of morons on a video game. Then I made the mistake of turning on the headset and reading the Rockstar Newsire comments. It pretty much turned me off to the whole experience. Is this how all online gaming is?
 
2013-10-28 09:37:34 PM

satanorsanta: The races (especially on the motorcycle) should be more like this

[www.theunrealtimes.com image 280x280]


They can be: if you toggle the race mode to "GTA Race" it enables weapons during races.  There's even a "Death Race" award you can win if you manage to kill at least 3 other racers and finish the race in 1st place.
 
2013-10-28 09:40:12 PM

Dragonflew: Has anyone created a Fark crew yet?


You know there's a politics tab, right?
 
2013-10-28 09:46:58 PM
i've been putting off buying this game. mostly because i don't have cocaine.
 
2013-10-28 09:56:34 PM

Karma Chameleon: Hiro Nakamura: darkjezter: There's a setting you can toggle that stops other players from hearing what you're saying into your mic.  I always turn it on before I rob a store or talk to a stripper.

But I haven't robbed any convenience stores in a while.  My favorite way of earning money is doing races; it's fun and you can make a lot of money in a short amount of time if you're good at it.

That's my thing too. I get really irritated with the races sometimes though. I get that it's GTA but most people don't even try to race clean. GTAO is like the /b/ of online games.

GTAO is the first online multiplayer I've ever played so I don't know how it measures up to others. I had to stop doing the races because I was getting so mad at assholes trying to spin out my car. Then I would get even more pissed because people would just kill me for no reason in free mode. Then I was getting even madder because I was allowing myself to get mad at a bunch of morons on a video game. Then I made the mistake of turning on the headset and reading the Rockstar Newsire comments. It pretty much turned me off to the whole experience. Is this how all online gaming is?


Yes.  Which is why multiplayer always sucks immensely

/Played GTA V multiplayer for 5 minutes and that was enough for me unless I care enough to find a trophy boosting partner
 
2013-10-28 09:57:27 PM

satanorsanta: Hiro Nakamura: darkjezter: There's a setting you can toggle that stops other players from hearing what you're saying into your mic.  I always turn it on before I rob a store or talk to a stripper.

But I haven't robbed any convenience stores in a while.  My favorite way of earning money is doing races; it's fun and you can make a lot of money in a short amount of time if you're good at it.

That's my thing too. I get really irritated with the races sometimes though. I get that it's GTA but most people don't even try to race clean. GTAO is like the /b/ of online games.

The races (especially on the motorcycle) should be more like this


Oh yeah. That game is fun. And I have no complaints about dirty racing during GTA races. It's just irritating to be racing in a regular race and get PITed just because they can.

Karma Chameleon-

I don't have a whole lot of experience either honestly. Just XBox live. But I've played racers, shooters, and this and GTAO has by far the most trolls out of the bunch.
 
2013-10-28 09:59:29 PM
After listening to a number of people screaming at each other for no apparent reason, using various racial slurs and whathaveyou, I turned on a couple noisy children toys.  My favorite reaction was "STOP ASKING IF I WANT TO PLAY PEEKABOO!"
 
2013-10-28 09:59:59 PM

Karma Chameleon: Hiro Nakamura: darkjezter: There's a setting you can toggle that stops other players from hearing what you're saying into your mic.  I always turn it on before I rob a store or talk to a stripper.

But I haven't robbed any convenience stores in a while.  My favorite way of earning money is doing races; it's fun and you can make a lot of money in a short amount of time if you're good at it.

That's my thing too. I get really irritated with the races sometimes though. I get that it's GTA but most people don't even try to race clean. GTAO is like the /b/ of online games.

GTAO is the first online multiplayer I've ever played so I don't know how it measures up to others. I had to stop doing the races because I was getting so mad at assholes trying to spin out my car. Then I would get even more pissed because people would just kill me for no reason in free mode. Then I was getting even madder because I was allowing myself to get mad at a bunch of morons on a video game. Then I made the mistake of turning on the headset and reading the Rockstar Newsire comments. It pretty much turned me off to the whole experience. Is this how all online gaming is?


No farking shiat.  God, I hate racing in that game in single player, but add douchebags who intentionally hang back just so they can stalk people?  Yeah, no.  Unfortunately, the latest patch farked up single player.  If I try to activate the internet on my phone, you can't switch characters anymore.
 
2013-10-28 10:02:38 PM

Karma Chameleon: Then I would get even more pissed because people would just kill me for no reason in free mode.


So what you're saying is that you're upset people killed you in an online version of a game series which is entirely centered on needless violence.
 
2013-10-28 10:20:15 PM

Karma Chameleon: Hiro Nakamura: darkjezter: There's a setting you can toggle that stops other players from hearing what you're saying into your mic.  I always turn it on before I rob a store or talk to a stripper.

But I haven't robbed any convenience stores in a while.  My favorite way of earning money is doing races; it's fun and you can make a lot of money in a short amount of time if you're good at it.

That's my thing too. I get really irritated with the races sometimes though. I get that it's GTA but most people don't even try to race clean. GTAO is like the /b/ of online games.

GTAO is the first online multiplayer I've ever played so I don't know how it measures up to others. I had to stop doing the races because I was getting so mad at assholes trying to spin out my car. Then I would get even more pissed because people would just kill me for no reason in free mode. Then I was getting even madder because I was allowing myself to get mad at a bunch of morons on a video game. Then I made the mistake of turning on the headset and reading the Rockstar Newsire comments. It pretty much turned me off to the whole experience. Is this how all online gaming is?


The only one I've ever liked (at least on console) is Mass Effect 3. it's all co-operative.
 
2013-10-28 10:33:09 PM

Sgt Otter: The only one I've ever liked (at least on console) is Mass Effect 3. it's all co-operative.


ME3's multiplayer was the game's biggest redeeming quality.  The single player mode was awesome up until about the final 20 minutes, then we were treated to an ending that was so gawd-awful that it actually had a negative effect on the entire trilogy's story.  Basically everything you accomplished in the entire series was rendered meaningless by the way the trilogy ended.
 
2013-10-28 10:44:56 PM

Dragonflew: Has anyone created a Fark crew yet?


I was trying in a couple threads, but I only got as far as sending out some friend requests. We need someone who can make the crew on the Social Club and whip up a decent emblem.
 
2013-10-28 10:47:12 PM

Pocket Ninja: "We admit this is probably yet another stupid internet hoax where some asshat with a lame script is attention whoring for some inane and pointless purpose, but hell, we'll continue spreading the bullshiat anyway because we're no better than that, either."


Good to see you.
 
2013-10-28 10:50:03 PM

Karma Chameleon: Is this how all online gaming is?


GTAO is a bit of an odd duck because it's a multiplayer sand-box game, where you're dicking around as usual but sort of happen to be in the vicinity of other players.  Most console games have a more structured multiplayer, where you're actively opposed to or working with other players, enforced by some sort of scoring system.

Even classic MMOs usually don't let you interact with other people's stuff unless you have a clearly-defined role as opponent or collaborator.  This is something they learned pretty early in the genre, since exactly the kind of dickery you're describing happened frequently enough that everyone ran into it at some point.
 
2013-10-28 10:52:18 PM

Mentat:

No farking shiat.  God, I hate racing in that game in single player, but add douchebags who intentionally hang back just so they can stalk people?  Yeah, no.  Unfortunately, the latest patch farked up single player.  If I try to activate the internet on my phone, you can't switch characters anymore.

Yeah, I've read the patches are causing all kinds of problems for people. I'm definitely done with online, don't know if I will go back to single player for a while though. Oddly enough ever since i beat V I've been wanting to replay IV a lot.

Sgt Otter: Karma Chameleon: Hiro Nakamura: darkjezter: There's a setting you can toggle that stops other players from hearing what you're saying into your mic.  I always turn it on before I rob a store or talk to a stripper.

The only one I've ever liked (at least on console) is Mass Effect 3. it's all co-operative.


Heard a lot of good things. Are those servers still even active? (I'm seriously mostly clueless about online gaming). I get way behind on game releases too. I didn't play ME 1 or 2 until the end of last year and I think I beat 3 sometime this spring.
 
2013-10-28 10:59:39 PM
The guide to surviving online gaming:

1. Mute your microphone. Let them eat static.
2. Mute THEIR microphones. They're not saying anything you want to hear.
3. Don't take it personally.
4. Unless they keep coming after you when you spawn, then take it personally and gang up on them.
5. Unless you're the one being ganged up on, in which case you should probably just quit and come back later.
6. Remember that this is not the real world: This is crazy kill-spree, no-traffic-laws, stupid-cops, useless pedestrians, bizarre physics, jumping everywhere, tea-bagging, try-not-to-die-immediately world.
 
2013-10-28 11:01:15 PM

Karma Chameleon: Mentat:


The only one I've ever liked (at least on console) is Mass Effect 3. it's all co-operative.

Heard a lot of good things. Are those servers still even active? (I'm seriously mostly clueless about online gaming). I get way behind on game releases too. I didn't play ME 1 or 2 until the end of last year and I think I beat 3 sometime this spring.


From what I heard, the PlayStation servers were practically empty, but the Xbox 360 were still decently populated.  No idea on PC.  They all probably got a boost of new players when the Mass Effect Trilogy box set was released.
 
2013-10-28 11:30:11 PM
Really? Need GTA for that? I miss the stripper that used to be on here. Ah well.
 
2013-10-28 11:39:52 PM

Mike_LowELL: Karma Chameleon: Then I would get even more pissed because people would just kill me for no reason in free mode.

So what you're saying is that you're upset people killed you in an online version of a game series which is entirely centered on needless violence.


Bunch of savages in this world.
 
2013-10-28 11:41:18 PM

Sgt Otter: The only one I've ever liked (at least on console) is Mass Effect 3. it's all co-operative.


I love Assassin's Creed multiplayer
 
2013-10-28 11:42:13 PM
"Hey, good-looking. Howza 'bout you and I heading somewhere more private?"

www.weeatfilms.com
 
2013-10-28 11:51:07 PM
Jesus canary on a Christ cracker GTA players are generally the worst people on the planet. Why would you willfully subject yourself to a world shaped by their grotesque whims?
 
2013-10-28 11:53:30 PM

Frederf: Jesus canary on a Christ cracker GTA players are generally the worst people on the planet. Why would you willfully subject yourself to a world shaped by their grotesque whims?


I thought HALO/Call of Duty players were the worst.
 
2013-10-28 11:54:44 PM

ZeroCorpse: The guide to surviving online gaming:

1. Mute your microphone. Let them eat static.
2. Mute THEIR microphones. They're not saying anything you want to hear.
3. Don't take it personally.

4. Unless they keep coming after you when you spawn, then take it personally and gang up on them.
5. Unless you're the one being ganged up on, in which case you should probably just quit and come back later.
6. Remember that this is not the real world: This is crazy kill-spree, no-traffic-laws, stupid-cops, useless pedestrians, bizarre physics, jumping everywhere, tea-bagging, try-not-to-die-immediately world.


Follow 1-3, GTA Online becomes more tolerable.
 
2013-10-29 12:04:37 AM

scottydoesntknow: I have heard other players scream "PUT THE MONEY IN THE FARKING BAG!" or other variations to make the store clerk go faster. I did it once just to test it, but with the mic off, and it worked all the same.

It also lets you know other players are robbing the store so you can go shoot their tires out and watch the ensuing chaos as they try to run from the police.


sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
 
2013-10-29 12:11:21 AM
For a good online experience you have to play with friends. My crew is just a bunch of people that enjoy car games. Being able to get out and blow each other's heads off is a bonus.

/Los Santos Legend!
 
2013-10-29 12:16:40 AM

Mr. Fuzzypaws: For a good online experience you have to play with friends. My crew is just a bunch of people that enjoy car games. Being able to get out and blow each other's heads off is a bonus.

/Los Santos Legend!


This.  Joining a crew does tend to weed out some of the assholes because the game will automatically attempt to put you in a lobby populated by your crew members.  Plus, doing jobs with your crewmates results in you receiving 30% more reputation points if the job is successful.

One nice feature of GTA Online is that players who enjoy griefing (by destroying player-owned vehicles or quitting in the middle of a job) get tagged as "bad sports" by the game servers, and for at least 48 hours they will only get to play alongside other bad sports.  Players who frequently earn bad sport status will even be forced to wear a dunce cap in-game.
 
2013-10-29 12:23:56 AM

Dragonflew: Has anyone created a Fark crew yet?


This subby over in the FarkUS tab tried it some time ago. A checked the crew on social club a day or 2 later and no one had joined it.
http://www.fark.com/comments/7977447/Any-GTA-FARKers-out-there-looki ng -for-a-crew-Check-out-FARKCOM-Its-not-crews-its-FARKCOM
 
2013-10-29 01:36:25 AM

Karma Chameleon: It pretty much turned me off to the whole experience. Is this how all online gaming is?


While there's a lot wrong with the game and its developers, the community for MechWarrior Online is pretty good and people are usually quite civil in-game. There's occasionally some angry banter, and I see team-killing once in a while, but for the most part people are pretty chill.

War Thunder is about the same, for the most part. A little angrier, but the game is also much more prone to griefing (high level players smurfing in Russian biplanes, midair collisions, etc...)

I think the difference is both of those games attract a more mature (age-wise) audience than the likes of GTA and it produces a more mature (attitude-wise) crowd in-game.
 
2013-10-29 02:07:00 AM

sirbissel: After listening to a number of people screaming at each other for no apparent reason, using various racial slurs and whathaveyou, I turned on a couple noisy children toys.  My favorite reaction was "STOP ASKING IF I WANT TO PLAY PEEKABOO!"


genius.
 
2013-10-29 02:32:19 AM

Karma Chameleon: Then I would get even more pissed because people would just kill me for no reason in free mode.


Learn to shoot -> Kill people

I kill people in freeplay, I get killed in freeplay overall I enjoy it though.

I'd actually have more fun if freeplay had a radar similar to deathmatch. You know where you aren't always on the radar, your noise is what makes you visible. If it were me running the features for freeroam I'd have an option to purchase a police scanner (or tune in while in a police car). This would pick up the activity of the other miscreants that are playing with you and give you a general idea on where to find them. If anything, the only time players should show up on radar is if they are very close and making noise. If you have the map then you will know that it is marked into zones so the scanner could work something like. Dispatch: "we have a hit and run accident in G3." "Pursuit on Great Ocean Hwy Eastbound - Zone B4" "Shots fired in F1." Etc. Etc.

Although here is a tip for you, if you want to play the online version but without the jackasses, then do this. When you launch GTA let it load into story mode, press start and select the online tab, in there you will find 3 options to fit your needs. Invite online sessions, crew session, solo session.
 
2013-10-29 03:52:01 AM

sirbissel: After listening to a number of people screaming at each other for no apparent reason, using various racial slurs and whathaveyou, I turned on a couple noisy children toys.  My favorite reaction was "STOP ASKING IF I WANT TO PLAY PEEKABOO!"


My name is Talky Tina.
And I want to kill you.
 
2013-10-29 03:57:18 AM

Karma Chameleon: Hiro Nakamura: darkjezter: There's a setting you can toggle that stops other players from hearing what you're saying into your mic.  I always turn it on before I rob a store or talk to a stripper.

But I haven't robbed any convenience stores in a while.  My favorite way of earning money is doing races; it's fun and you can make a lot of money in a short amount of time if you're good at it.

That's my thing too. I get really irritated with the races sometimes though. I get that it's GTA but most people don't even try to race clean. GTAO is like the /b/ of online games.

GTAO is the first online multiplayer I've ever played so I don't know how it measures up to others. I had to stop doing the races because I was getting so mad at assholes trying to spin out my car. Then I would get even more pissed because people would just kill me for no reason in free mode. Then I was getting even madder because I was allowing myself to get mad at a bunch of morons on a video game. Then I made the mistake of turning on the headset and reading the Rockstar Newsire comments. It pretty much turned me off to the whole experience. Is this how all online gaming is?


Yes. To me, the very idea of taking video gaming, one of the few enjoyable solitary activities in my crowded life, and ruining it with OTHER PEOPLE strikes me as perverted and weird.
But, hey - different strokes and all.
 
2013-10-29 04:50:48 AM

ZeroCorpse: 6. Remember that this is not the real world:


A lesson most people should take to heart when considering the Internet as a whole.
 
2013-10-29 05:07:10 AM
I've been having a lot of fun with the Cargobob. It's great to pick up players while in their personal cars, then drop them in the ocean or deposit them on a very tall roof.

Also, sticky bombs. When I get a bounty placed on me, I like to run back to my apartment building, first placing a sticky bomb or two out front and wait for players to come after me. Once they're prowling out front like idiots, KABOOM. It's great fun hearing the mexicans shouting their mexican obscenities at me afterwards.

Speaking of sticky bombs, it's also fun to attach one to Simeon's high end wanted car. These cars often go untouched until someone finally decides to make a go of stealing it. I always head right towards it, attach a sticky, drive until I notice player blips on an intercept path, then hop out, jack a car, and drive a good bit away. Then when they've hopped in the car, I let them drive a few blocks, sometimes until they're aaaaaalmost at the garage, then KABOOM.

You have to take your fun where you can get it once someone dumps 85 million dollars in your account and you have fully modded cars, a lazer, and a tank.

/the french players are the biggest assholes playing right now
//followed by the germans
///i've heard N-bong literally thousands of times in the past few weeks, and it's farking HILARIOUS when you toss it back at them...ooh, they're gonna find you.
 
2013-10-29 07:24:45 AM

Devo: i've been putting off buying this game. mostly because i don't have cocaine.


me and you both, brother.
 
2013-10-29 07:31:48 AM

some_beer_drinker: Devo: i've been putting off buying this game. mostly because i don't have cocaine.

me and you both, brother.


Waiting for the PC version myself, if that is ever permanently shown to never going to happen at least a next gen console version.
 
2013-10-29 07:34:00 AM
You guys are all aware that you can make friends only session that only allow people you know and like into the city right?  Also in most of the open sessions that I play in people mind their own business about 90% of the time.
 
2013-10-29 07:51:11 AM
I have just happened across a cave full of weird humans all speaking in a previously unknown form of English, peppered with words I recognise but completely nonsensical.
 
2013-10-29 08:12:59 AM
What's more awkward is the fact that he's sitting there listening to some 13 year-old masturbate to a cartoon character.
 
2013-10-29 08:44:55 AM

RockofAges: Am I really in a thread where Farkers are:

A) Complaining about a Grand Theft Auto game because the online community is too anarchic?

B) Crying about online griefing and "rude comments"?

I know I keep saying that we've really jumped the shark here, but what happened to the spine and testicles around these here parts?

/Movie announcer voice: In 1993, in a world when when the INTERNET had no sissies and /b/ was just an infant's dream...


Not just here on GTAO itself, people get a bounty and promptly leave the session, as if getting killed is anything other than an extremely minor inconvenience.  I had one guy whine to me because I killed him twice after I found him trying to shoot the bullet proof tires out on my car.
 
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