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(Athens Banner Herald)   Actual headline: "Man ordered to serve weekends in jail for Athens penis-shaking incident"   (onlineathens.com) divider line 39
    More: Dumbass  
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3681 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Oct 2013 at 3:45 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-28 03:28:17 PM
fairfaxfreecitizen.com

"Shakin' it, boss."
 
2013-10-28 03:31:28 PM
His or someone else's?
 
2013-10-28 03:37:50 PM
Michael J Fox sympathizes.
 
2013-10-28 03:39:31 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

Only for men. Never for women because when they do it -it's cool and rebellious.
 
2013-10-28 03:47:42 PM
Well, he shook it more than twice, that's playing with it.
 
2013-10-28 03:48:43 PM
If he used his penis to smash that windshield, he should get an award, not jail time.
 
2013-10-28 03:50:33 PM
Shake his love, he just can't shake his love.
Shake his love, he just can't shake ...his love.

cdn.newsday.com
 
2013-10-28 03:50:54 PM
Athens freaking GA...Go DAWGS

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-28 03:50:59 PM
Well what do you expect from Georgia, anyway.
After all, THIS IS SPARTA!

farm5.static.flickr.com

No, really. It is Sparta. Look it up.
 
2013-10-28 03:51:23 PM
In the US, when we meet someone, we usually shake hands.
 
2013-10-28 03:51:29 PM
FTA: Clifford Eric Atkinson, 29, of Bethlehem, also pleaded guilty to damaging the car of a woman at The Preserve of Athens...

How are they expecting to keep this guy in jail?  His penis can bend steel.
 
2013-10-28 03:52:26 PM
"....sentenced Atkinson to serve three weekends in jail, make $500 in restitution for the car windshield he damaged, perform 40 hours of community service, and serve 18 months on probation. "

As part of his sentence, the judge ordered Atkinson to undergo substance abuse treatment and to submit to biweekly drug and alcohol screens for the first two months to be followed by random screens.


That's a downright reasonable sentence.  Dude obviously can't handle his booze/drugs so maybe staying off them for a year and a half will let him revisit his priorities in life.

I kinda doubt he will, but what the hell.  Not a bad sentence.
 
2013-10-28 03:52:28 PM
I keep that right next to my salt and pepper shaker.
 
2013-10-28 03:53:35 PM
I have very vague memories of the streaking craze in  the 70's.  Since then we've gotten fatter and older, everything is swollen and sagging we DO NOT NEED a new streaking craze.  Lets do planking or something like that again.
 
2013-10-28 03:54:30 PM
Athens is much lovelier, BTW. Not only do they have a college and Widespread Panic, but there is also a Farmer's Market!

www.roadhugusa.com
 
2013-10-28 03:54:31 PM

fappomatic: If he used his penis to smash that windshield, he should get an award, not jail time.


If he used his penis to smash that windshield he already HAS HIS award.
 
2013-10-28 03:54:49 PM
www.examiner.com
 
2013-10-28 03:55:39 PM
i1151.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-28 03:59:04 PM
Damn it, Michael Stipe.  Keep it in your pants.
 
2013-10-28 04:00:18 PM

You're doing it wrong....

ring.cdandlp.com



That's the way a-ha a-ha, I like it.

 
2013-10-28 04:01:22 PM
The GREEKS don't want no FREAKS
 
2013-10-28 04:01:23 PM

fappomatic: If he used his penis to smash that windshield, he should get an award, not jail time.


Sounds like he also used his penis to obstruct a police officer.

Meanwhile I can't even use mine to crack walnuts.
 
2013-10-28 04:03:57 PM

www.brainline.org

Shaken, not stirred.

 
2013-10-28 04:08:40 PM
Ah, the beautiful culture of Athens, Ga on display.

/come for the butt biting
//stay for the penis shaking
///and the defecation in the library
 
2013-10-28 04:13:54 PM
You know what they say. The penis mightier than the sword.

s3.amazonaws.com

I'll take Jap anus relations for one hundred, Alex.
 
2013-10-28 04:15:48 PM

Dahnkster: Well what do you expect from Georgia, anyway.
After all, THIS IS SPARTA!

[farm5.static.flickr.com image 500x372]

No, really. It is Sparta. Look it up.


Looks like a great place to shoot a Fallout fan-film.
 
2013-10-28 04:18:41 PM
media.247sports.com
 
2013-10-28 04:18:55 PM
Mayhem?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G31XQDAvDxU

my fave of the commercials....
 
2013-10-28 04:24:49 PM
Athens Penis Shaking Incident

/band name
 
2013-10-28 04:26:41 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Meanwhile I can't even use mine to crack walnuts.


I use mine to pick up stray peanuts from the ground, like an elephant.
 
2013-10-28 04:34:40 PM

stevetherobot: Athens Penis Shaking Incident

/band name


They open for Illinois Enema Bandit.

/i heard he's on the loo-oose
 
2013-10-28 04:40:00 PM
That's a helluva sentence for holding a pen with a shaky hand
 
2013-10-28 04:44:36 PM
Just another day in that town, trust me
 
2013-10-28 05:45:36 PM

fiddle-faddle: Just another day in that town, trust me


I trust you. In fact, I'm willing to believe that every day in that town is another day, else it would be Groundhog Day.
 
2013-10-28 05:57:52 PM
I worked with a guy that had to spend weekends in jail for a drunk and disorderly charge, not penis shaking. He would leave work early on fridays, have to get processed at teh county lockup, strip searched and then sit there until sunday night. I think he had to do that for three months.
 
2013-10-28 06:58:56 PM
Shake, shake, shake, shake Senoria, shake you body line.

Shake, mine as well.
 
2013-10-28 07:11:51 PM

Dahnkster: Athens is much lovelier, BTW. Not only do they have a college and Widespread Panic, but there is also a Farmer's Market!

[www.roadhugusa.com image 500x375]


Damn, that looks shockingly like Athens, OH. I guess all these old college towns must have been built by one dude; Madison, WI looks similar, too.
 
2013-10-28 10:17:19 PM

Brainsick: That's a helluva sentence for holding a pen with a shaky hand


Once there were two farmers. One had a daughter and the other had a son. When their kids were teenagers they started dating, and the two farners encouraged it. One day the girl's father went over to the other farmer's house and said that he didn't want thier children dating anymore. The boy's father asked, "Why not?" The other farmer said, "Come here and I'll show you." In his yard was the girl's name written in pee in the snow. The boy's father said, "Oh, come on, that's just boy stuff." The other farmer said, "You think I don't' know my own daughter's handwriting?"
 
2013-10-29 04:54:02 PM
This is a far more appropriate punishment than just tossing him on the SO registry.
 
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