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(Daily Mail)   "Hitler would never again set foot outside Argentina. And though his dreams of a new Reich would never be fulfilled, he did at least find some form of domestic happiness by marrying Eva Braun, with whom he had two daughters"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 90
    More: Interesting, Hitler, British, Josef Mengele, secret passage, Reich, Ryan Braun, Fuhrer, Luftwaffe  
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4632 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Oct 2013 at 11:45 AM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-28 01:33:32 PM
Part of me actually likes the thought of him having to live a few more years with the bitter realization that everything he built had been destroyed. I doubt it is true though. If the Russians didn't track him down, the Israelis would have.
 
2013-10-28 01:36:45 PM
Hitler

he only had one ball....
 
2013-10-28 01:40:17 PM
"It was to his bitter disappointment that his old foe, Winston Churchill, had outlived him."

How can you be disappointed that somebody outlived you? Aren't you dead?
 
2013-10-28 01:41:49 PM

TimSTP: "It was to his bitter disappointment that his old foe, Winston Churchill, had outlived him."

How can you be disappointed that somebody outlived you? Aren't you dead?


Der Fuehrer ist shtill alivef. He manages a chain of Chick-Fil-A's and hass vor yeerss.
 
2013-10-28 01:43:23 PM

LoneWolf343: The Russians have Hilter's skull in an archive somewhere. He died in that bunker.


If you had read the article you would have known that they tested the skull and it came back as belonging to a 40 year old woman, so unless Hilter was a 40 year old woman.....
 
2013-10-28 01:47:10 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Fools! Hitler was actually Nibor from the planet Vashir, a galactic shape changing psychopath.
 
2013-10-28 01:48:48 PM

karnal: LoneWolf343: The Russians have Hilter's skull in an archive somewhere. He died in that bunker.

If you had read the article you would have known that they tested the skull and it came back as belonging to a 40 year old woman, so unless Hilter was a 40 year old woman.....


What a twist!
 
2013-10-28 01:49:14 PM

rjakobi: I see Harry Turtledove has another writing alias.


This made me LOL; I thought the same thing.
 
2013-10-28 01:51:25 PM

that1guy77: But if we find Hitler and his henchmen, how do we kill them?


Well for his henchmen I'd assume they were just ordinary zombies, ghouls, and ghasts you just have to reduce them to negative hit points and burn the corpses until ash. Hitler is obviously a lich, we would have to find his phylactery and destroy it. Eva on the other hand is clearly a ghost, so you better bring the oil of Ghost Touch.
 
2013-10-28 01:59:58 PM
We all know that Hitler was placed in a diesel powered exoskeleton and went to a secret underground base in Antarctica. Using the experimental Die Glocke system they created UFOs and struck an alliance with the klan, which is why UFOs abduct hillbillies.
 
2013-10-28 02:04:47 PM

Slaves2Darkness: that1guy77: But if we find Hitler and his henchmen, how do we kill them?

Well for his henchmen I'd assume they were just ordinary zombies, ghouls, and ghasts you just have to reduce them to negative hit points and burn the corpses until ash. Hitler is obviously a lich, we would have to find his phylactery and destroy it. Eva on the other hand is clearly a ghost, so you better bring the oil of Ghost Touch.


Cheese touch would probably be more effective.
 
2013-10-28 02:10:51 PM
Godwin's Law10

The possibility that everything is traceable back to Uncle Adolph. Everything
 
2013-10-28 02:16:09 PM
This is the definition of 'Not New'.

Hitler planned the invasion of the Falklands back in '82.  The WEEKLY WORLD NEWS told me so.

/No wonder it failed.
 
2013-10-28 02:26:56 PM

Mikey1969: nekom: Ok, that's an interesting theory you have there.  Your evidence in support of it is.... what exactly?

Well, this is what happens when you rush to destroy a corpse before you can show the world. Same thing with Bin Laden, there will always be people who don't believe he's dead. They have a good point to; nobody saw a body, except a few who were on a select list or could have been "gotten too". It doesn't mean that they're right, just that it's hard to argue with someone who points out that there was no body. There's not really that much proof that he was in the bunker, IIRC, they rushed to that cremation pretty quickly. Once again, this DOES NOT mean that I support this idea in the least, just that when it comes to evidence, it's 6 of one and half a dozen of another in these "secret" deaths.


The SS destroyed the body, I believe under Hitler's direct orders for just this reason.  And there are numerous eyewitness accounts of people who saw him in the bunker.  There isn't any real reason to believe he wasn't there.
 
2013-10-28 02:29:16 PM
FTA: "After landing in Denmark, he flew to Spain"

Just like that, like pushing the Easy Button!
 
2013-10-28 02:34:57 PM
Assuming it's true then you can't sure for plagiarism since you can't copyright historical facts. You can argue he stole your research but unless it was a physical theft historical theories can't be copyrighted so it's a dick move but that's it.
 
2013-10-28 02:37:35 PM

miniflea: And there are numerous eyewitness accounts of people who saw him in the bunker.


My point is that the are always people whose "account" can be called into question. It's where the conspiracy comes from. Sure there could have been 200 different people who saw the body, but since it wasn't really a site that was open to the general public, those could all be types who were "sworn to secrecy". Like I said, I don't think he went to Argentina, but I can see why some people might not buy the true story, it requires a lot of "just trust us" type of believing.
 
2013-10-28 02:44:18 PM
"Hitler regarded the array of vacuum tubes, wires and light bulbs skeptically. His ambitions of creating a vast International Network ("inter-net", Eva playfully called it) uniting the clandestine, four-story tall computational devices von Braun had built between 1947 and 1951 through Europe, Asia and the United States seemed like a distant and fantastical dream. But from the ashes of the Third Reich, a new dynasty would emerge -- one taking advantage of wireless technology to reunite the far-flung, tattered vestiges of his dark forces. "It will NOT be used for pornography!" the Fuhrer shrieked at no one inside the cramped Buenos Aires studio apartment he shared with Eva and their two children, Hermanna and Churchill Poo Poo Head. "There will be NO BRONIES!!!" Little could Hitler have known then that it would take over three more decades and an American Vice President to realize his fevered dream of an Inter-Net Uber Alles.

-- excerpted from "Made-up Hitler Bullshiat: The True Story", with a foreword on its authenticity from Wolf Blitzer, CNN host and Jeopardy! Grand Champion.
 
2013-10-28 02:47:29 PM

Mikey1969: miniflea: And there are numerous eyewitness accounts of people who saw him in the bunker.

My point is that the are always people whose "account" can be called into question. It's where the conspiracy comes from. Sure there could have been 200 different people who saw the body, but since it wasn't really a site that was open to the general public, those could all be types who were "sworn to secrecy". Like I said, I don't think he went to Argentina, but I can see why some people might not buy the true story, it requires a lot of "just trust us" type of believing.


Very true.

However, the "he escaped" claim, expecially in the version referred to in TFA has a fatal flaw.  Both Zukov and Chuikov were absolutely terrified that Hitler might escape at the last minute by taking off in a plane from a makeshift runway.  They could only imagine the reaction "The Boss" would have to such an event.  They devoted enromous amounts of personnel and equipment to ensure it wasn't possible, particularly by blocking streets considered long enough to take off from and by putting hundreds of observers in place to watch for a takeoff.  Indeed, one of Hitler's generals was injured when hundreds of AA pieces opened up on his Fieseler Storch as it made a near-crash-landing near the Reich Chancellery in Berlin in the final days of the battle, because they feared it was coming to rescue Hitler.  Even a perfunctory look at the condiditons in the city at the time make it clear that such an escape would have been impossible.

Martin Bormann tried it on foot, and died in the streets.
 
2013-10-28 03:05:33 PM

Highroller48: However, the "he escaped" claim, expecially in the version referred to in TFA has a fatal flaw.  Both Zukov and Chuikov were absolutely terrified that Hitler might escape at the last minute by taking off in a plane from a makeshift runway.


Yeah, I see it as ridiculously complicated... I don't have the details you have here, bu when I was reading it, it sounded more like an objective in a video game than real-life to get hat shiat to work. Even with everything as chaotic as it was(I was telling my wife this weekend that those bombed-out cities wee a PITA to watch cuz people could blend in anywhere), I don't see this little "run through the streets and hope for the best with the enemy raining own Hell upon us" scenario getting them even out of the bunker door.
 
2013-10-28 03:07:47 PM

Highroller48: Martin Bormann tried it on foot, and died in the streets.


Killed himself chomping a cyanide capsule.
 
2013-10-28 03:55:33 PM

karnal: LoneWolf343: The Russians have Hilter's skull in an archive somewhere. He died in that bunker.

If you had read the article you would have known that they tested the skull and it came back as belonging to a 40 year old woman, so unless Hilter was a 40 year old woman.....


Well, he was half-way there.

/Besides, it is the Daily Fail. Why would you believe them?
 
2013-10-28 04:27:34 PM

Cheese eating surrender monkey: patrick767: Is this some kind of self-published Nazi fanfic?

Time to get out the old Hitler/Stalin slash fiction and head out to amazon.com

/I'll add some horny dinosaurs to make sure it sells.


Adolf savored the feel of Joseph's full, manly mustache on his gently parted lips, welcoming the burly Russian bear into his arms as the haze of crematorium smoke wafted around his porcelain Aryan flesh.

/window seat
 
2013-10-28 05:34:13 PM

Sybarite: Nonsense, those guys that looked like Hitler were merely his clones.


No, no, no. Those boys were from Brazil.
 
2013-10-28 07:03:49 PM

karnal: LoneWolf343: The Russians have Hilter's skull in an archive somewhere. He died in that bunker.

If you had read the article you would have known that they tested the skull and it came back as belonging to a 40 year old woman, so unless Hilter was a 40 year old woman.....


So the skull was Eva's?

Also, I wonder if there are people who think Hitler is STILL alive. Because if he is, he's 124 years old.

That said, yes, we landed on the moon, Kennedy was killed by Oswald, who acted alone because he was a nutjob who though the Russians would love him for it, Obama was born in Hawaii and was legally elected president, twice, 9/11 was not an inside job, and a "cure for cancer" has not been found. And yes, Hitler committed suicide in that bunker in 1945.
 
2013-10-28 07:49:42 PM

Tom_Slick: Do people honestly believe Eichmann would not have sold Hitler out to the Israelis if he was in Argentina?


Eichmann was but a lowly Obersturmbannführer, he wouldn't necessarily have been important enough to be allowed to know. No one who knows anything about Hitler's health would believe that he could have lived to 73, though. He was practically on death's doorstep toward the end, even apart from the Parkinson's.
 
2013-10-28 07:53:09 PM

Mikey1969: miniflea: And there are numerous eyewitness accounts of people who saw him in the bunker.

My point is that the are always people whose "account" can be called into question. It's where the conspiracy comes from. Sure there could have been 200 different people who saw the body, but since it wasn't really a site that was open to the general public, those could all be types who were "sworn to secrecy". Like I said, I don't think he went to Argentina, but I can see why some people might not buy the true story, it requires a lot of "just trust us" type of believing.


What conspiracy?  What is fundamentally broken in the brains of conspiracy nuts is that the possibility of an event becomes evidence of or proof of an event.  If we dismiss the accounts written without good reason we may as well just up and say we don't know anything ever actually happened that we didn't see with our own eyes.  It's ridiculous.  I'm not saying this describes you, but you do seem a touch too eager to say "well, its possible... ".

Interestingly, after Berlin was encircled but before the noose was too tight, some of Hitler's generals begged him to try and break out.  They had, by that time a lot of experience breaking out of Russian encirclement.  They calculated that the majority of the breakout force would be lost, but that a few armored vehicles at the center were pretty much always able to escape.
 
2013-10-28 08:13:07 PM

Mikey1969: There's not really that much proof that he was in the bunker, IIRC, they rushed to that cremation pretty quickly.


He and Eva Braun were carried outside, doused in fuel and set alight pretty much immediately. The Russians were practically within sight, so everything was necessarily very rushed. He was insistent that his body be thoroughly destroyed because he was afraid the Soviets would stuff him and put him on display permanently kissing Lenin's ass or something.
 
x23
2013-10-28 08:27:00 PM

Saiga410: Who says that Eichmann did not. Isreal is more strong with the precieved chance of a Hitler out there than with a confirmed dead Hitler. They know where he is at and are keeping an eye on him but they are never going to lay down their final trump card until the time is right.



so... when would that be? Hitler would be 124 now. literally the oldest living person in the world.

something tells me you might not be correct.
 
2013-10-28 08:28:43 PM

miniflea: Mikey1969: miniflea: And there are numerous eyewitness accounts of people who saw him in the bunker.

My point is that the are always people whose "account" can be called into question. It's where the conspiracy comes from. Sure there could have been 200 different people who saw the body, but since it wasn't really a site that was open to the general public, those could all be types who were "sworn to secrecy". Like I said, I don't think he went to Argentina, but I can see why some people might not buy the true story, it requires a lot of "just trust us" type of believing.

What conspiracy?  What is fundamentally broken in the brains of conspiracy nuts is that the possibility of an event becomes evidence of or proof of an event.  If we dismiss the accounts written without good reason we may as well just up and say we don't know anything ever actually happened that we didn't see with our own eyes.  It's ridiculous.  I'm not saying this describes you, but you do seem a touch too eager to say "well, its possible... ".

Interestingly, after Berlin was encircled but before the noose was too tight, some of Hitler's generals begged him to try and break out.  They had, by that time a lot of experience breaking out of Russian encirclement.  They calculated that the majority of the breakout force would be lost, but that a few armored vehicles at the center were pretty much always able to escape.


Then you're misreading me... I'm not eager to jump up and say "well, it's possible". What I'm saying is that I can see where this particular urban legend would have its genesis, it's a little easier to understand where these particular people are coming from than someone like the Moon landing nuts.

At the same time I am cursed/blessed with this "look at both sides of a situation" thing. Even when I'm arguing a point on here, a lot of the time I see where the other person is coming from. It's also why Farkers alternate between accusing me of being a "Lib" and a "GOP shill", because I have sting feelings on both sides of the fence, and sometimes end up with conflicting thoughts and actually support both sides at the same time.
 
2013-10-28 09:00:18 PM

Highroller48: Indeed, one of Hitler's generals was injured when hundreds of AA pieces opened up on his Fieseler Storch as it made a near-crash-landing near the Reich Chancellery in Berlin in the final days of the battle, because they feared it was coming to rescue Hitler.


This is true, but it's also true that Ritter von Greim still managed to fly an Arado 96 training plane out of Berlin several hours later, injured foot and all, carrying the order for Himmler's arrest and execution. He even managed to not get hit this time.
 
2013-10-28 09:25:24 PM
Excellent point about Von Greim.

He flew from the Tiergarten, however, fairly distant from the Chancellery. Also, intercepts showed afterward that Hitler was still in Berlin.

Still, the 3rd Army was freaked out enough by this to launch a massive search in order to destroy any intact aircraft found on the ground anywhere in Berlin.
 
2013-10-28 09:50:55 PM
I Never loved Eva Braun
 
2013-10-28 10:18:41 PM
OK, Maybe a threadjack but I have been curious for decades now so I don't care.

I remember an old [mock] commercial about Mercedes Benz where we slowly pan around one driving in a desert-like setting; all the while being told of the great engineering, luxurious ride, etc. Then we finally zoom into the car to see Hitler driving (nervously looking over his shoulder) as we are asked/answered; "Just how far will a Mercedes take you? ... The world may never know". It was brilliant.

Thought it was Not Necessarily the News or maybe an old SNL but I can't seem to find it anywhere... Anyone familiar?

/Or did I just dream this?
 
2013-10-28 10:37:16 PM
I read the autopsy of Adolf Hitler when I was in university.  It was written by a Soviet pathologist and was a very interesting read.  Turns our he only had one testicle.  The sad part was the autopsy of the Goebbels children who were between the ages of 12 and 4.  The author expressed total dismay that the Goebbels really thought that they should kill their kids rather than surrender.  It was a sad read but a really crazy thing to find while wandering through the stacks.
 
2013-10-29 12:47:21 AM
Please. Everyone knows Hitler moved to America and became a hack sci-fi writer.
 
2013-10-29 01:36:32 AM

Richard C Stanford: We all know that Hitler was placed in a diesel powered exoskeleton and went to a secret underground base in Antarctica. Using the experimental Die Glocke system they created UFOs and struck an alliance with the klan, which is why UFOs abduct hillbillies.


So global warming will eventually reveal his secret lair?  Giggety!
 
2013-10-29 03:46:49 AM

Little_Dictator: Hitler moved to America and became a hack sci-fi writer.


That sounds like some kind of iron dream.
 
2013-10-29 08:28:14 AM

malaktaus: Highroller48: Indeed, one of Hitler's generals was injured when hundreds of AA pieces opened up on his Fieseler Storch as it made a near-crash-landing near the Reich Chancellery in Berlin in the final days of the battle, because they feared it was coming to rescue Hitler.

This is true, but it's also true that Ritter von Greim still managed to fly an Arado 96 training plane out of Berlin several hours later, injured foot and all, carrying the order for Himmler's arrest and execution. He even managed to not get hit this time.


Actually, it was noted female pilot Hanna Reitsch who flew Ritter von Greim into and out of Berlin.
 
2013-10-29 01:53:34 PM

Little_Dictator: Please. Everyone knows Hitler moved to America and became a hack sci-fi writer.


Coming soon to SyFy Network:

JEWNADO!
 
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