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(The Register)   No surprise there: "Coding is suitable only for exceptionally dull weirdos"   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 18
    More: Obvious, line coding, I-CT, religious education, Algebra, programming languages  
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4080 clicks; posted to Geek » on 28 Oct 2013 at 9:40 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-10-28 10:52:33 AM  
6 votes:

NewWorldDan: Guys with 5 years experience can't fake their way through the FizzBuzz test.


for i from 1 to 100 do
if i = 1, print 1
if i = 2, print 2
if i = 3, print Fizz
if i = 4, print 4
if i = 5, print Buzz
etc
2013-10-28 08:56:15 AM  
3 votes:

EvilEgg: Coding is a niche, mechanical skill, a bit like plumbing or car repair.

In other words a really handy thing to know.


For those times when an application springs a leak at 4 in the morning?
2013-10-28 03:17:38 PM  
2 votes:

skozlaw: I used to program for a living. Then I learned how computers work and got a good job instead.


conscious2conscience.files.wordpress.com
2013-10-28 12:36:43 PM  
2 votes:
I don't see myself as exceptionally dull.  Why just this morning I woke up and said good morning to my very non-dull wife Audrey and then we had a breakfast of toast and eggs as we do every Monday after which I brushed my teeth counting 10 strokes per tooth in a clockwise direction for the upper teeth but in an excitingly counterclockwise direction for the lower teeth. After brushing my teeth I completed my activities in the toilet and proceeded to select my very non-boring attire for the day.  I then observed the dog as he was let out into the yard for his morning evacuations.  He urinated for 12 seconds and defecated quickly after that. Preparing for my commute I checked the tire pressure in the car's tires only to find that the pressure in tire #3 had dropped by an unacceptable 1/2 pound per square inch.  This compelled me to engage the compressor and return the tire to operating pressure.  Once the tires had been validated I ensconced myself into the driving position of my quite non-boring Camry and verified that each mirror was in a proper position to allow me to see appropriate objects behind me.  As I backed out of my garage I waved at my quite non-boring neighbor who was walking a canister of garbage toward the street.  On my commute I observed 12 pedestrians and noted with the slight chill in the air 7 of them were wearing coats with 3 of those wearing hats.

It as only after this thrilling morning routine that I began my day job of coding.
2013-10-28 10:23:21 AM  
2 votes:
As a dull weirdo who codes, I resemble that statement.
2013-10-28 09:52:43 AM  
2 votes:

serial_crusher: The math books my high school used had some of the worst word problems ever.  "Lancelot and Guinevere sat under a tree finding derivatives.  Guinevere asked Lancelot to find the derivative of f(x) = x3ex.  What answer did Lancelot give?"


"How is babby formed?"
2013-10-28 03:56:39 PM  
1 votes:

Brian_of_Nazareth: The first programmer interview with "Real Programmer Questions" (tm) struck me as pretty straight forward at the time:

1.  Given a sting, re-write it backwards (1st character becomes last, second becomes second last, etc),
2.  Demonstrate understanding of binary tree and b-tree,
3.  In the language of your choice, demonstrate recursion.


Answers:
1. Ow.  Ow.  Quit stinging me, you f**k. '\0',"gnits a".
2. You can only have two binary trees.  A b-tree is where those things come from that keep stinging me.  See answer #1
3. Assembly:
me:    call me
I has this question once for a real-time embedded position.  My response was "Why would anyone use recursion in an embedded application with limited stack space?  It's completely unbounded.  Is it just because you want me to show you my b-tree answer again or that you're gunna start stinging me again?"

Do I get the job?
2013-10-28 03:56:14 PM  
1 votes:

InmanRoshi: Stereotyping programmers as autistic zombies is a very useful and pragmatic tactic for salesmen, hucksters, marketers and bullshiat artists and other parasites in the industry, who draw very comfortable salaries riding on the back of products created by the brain people and the talent.  Particularly when the products are best in class in a niche market and often sell themselves.  Otherwise, people might look around and wonder why the fark are they there and what the fark do they do all day.


Hi I'm Fark_Guy_Rob.  I'm a 'Project Manager'.  I'll 'manage' the project, because, let's face it....our software guys are great.  Really, they are amazing at *what they do*.  But when it comes to project planning and communicating with our business users, well, that's not where their skills lie.  So hire me, and I'll get things moving!

(Hired)

Okay Team, I'm the new project manager.  I'll be managing the project.  My job is to make sure you can do the stuff you want to do and I'll keep you from doing the stuff you don't want.  Now, I'm going to set up long, boring meetings where you can tell me what you do.

(Dev Meeting #1 of 28393)
So, Software Guy #1, what are you working on?  X and Y and Z?  Okay, I see.  And how long will X take?  Okay.  And is there anything stopping you from finishing X?  Oh - you are waiting on someone to do something?  Okay!  No problem.  And what about Y?  .......etc etc

(Business Meeting #1 of 2894)
Okay guys.  Our team is doing A LOT.  We have too much on our plate...we need to PRIORITIZE.  So I've setup these meetings so you, the business users, can decide our priorities.  Now, let's talk about X.  Guy #1 is working on X.  He's not here because he spent much longer explaining X to me, but I glazed over.  I just wrote down 'x' and how long he said it would take.  Is X important?  Oh it is?  Okay, I'll make X a PRIORITY!  It's a good thing I'm here.  You guys could NEVER have communicated that is important.  And now, let's talk about 'y'.  I also don't know about 'y'.....etc...etc...etc...
Well, that is what they are doing.  Now, is there anything else we need to work on?  T?  Oh yeah - I'll schedule a meeting to talk about T in detail.

(Requirements Meeting #1 of 48483)
Okay, let's talk about T.  I know nothing about T and nothing about software development.  So you just tell me what you want T to do, I'll write it down in vague terms and then I'll had it to someone else.  Okay?  Great.  Let's spend a solid day on 'What the buttons should say' because, hey, that's important.  Also, I'll say things like, 'That looks similar to something, I'm sure our guys can UTILIZE THE EXISTING FRAMEWORK!

(Project Kick-off Meeting #1 of 99584)
Hey Software Guy #3.  Like I mentioned in our daily stand up, I've got an exciting new HIGH PRIORITY project for you.  I've put together a spec (but it makes no sense).  I've broken it down into 'tasks' (that have no bearing on how you'll want to design it) so that I can make a pretty chart.  Look at my chart.  It's on slide 6 of this powerpoint I've created for this meeting.  Okay, so blah, blah, blah, now, tell me how long 'action item #1' will take.  What do you mean you don't know?  I just read you the spec that I don't understand and wrote....and I need numbers from you to make a chart.  Also, these numbers will let me know if you are good or bad at your job.  Okay?  SIX WEEKS?  That won't work, I told them we'd be done in FOUR weeks.  No worries, I know you can do it!

etc...etc....etc.....
2013-10-28 02:18:01 PM  
1 votes:
I used to program for a living. Then I learned how computers work and got a good job instead.
2013-10-28 12:34:50 PM  
1 votes:

xalres: <riidiculous slow Fizz Buzz algorithm>


Does NAME have to do everything?

for(i=0; i<1000; i+=3) printf( "FizzBuzz %d1 %d2 Fizz %d4 Buzz Fizz %d7 %d8 Fizz Buzz %d1 Fizz %d3 %d4 "
                               "FizzBuzz %d6 %d7 Fizz %d9 Buzz Fizz %d2 %d3 Fizz Buzz %d6 Fizz %d8 %d9 ",
                               i, i, i, i, i, i+1, i+1, i+1, i+1, i+1, i+1, i+2, i+2, i+2, i+2, i+2 );
2013-10-28 12:13:07 PM  
1 votes:
10 REM CRITERIA FOR OH SNAP
20 IF DID SOMEONE TELL HIM? EQUALS YES GOTO END
30 TELL HIM
40 GOTO 20
50 END
2013-10-28 10:56:17 AM  
1 votes:
10 PRINT "FARK YOU ";
20 GOTO 10
2013-10-28 09:49:48 AM  
1 votes:
That's hardly true. I've met many very interesting weirdos in my decades doing software development.
2013-10-28 09:43:09 AM  
1 votes:

dittybopper: RedPhoenix122: dittybopper: Not only that, it teaches you how to look at problems in a logical fashion.  And logic is something sorely missing from a large segment of the population.

Agreed.  Hell, even an Intro to Philosophy: Logic requirement would be nice.  Or Discrete Math.  Something that involves how to form a conclusion based on evidence rather than what some talking head told them.

Personally, I think ever single student should have a class called something like "Application of arithmetic to every day life".

It would consist of nothing but word problems where the student has to figure out real-life stuff and the optimal answer can be derived by addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division.

I don't know how many times people around me, including some very smart people, haven't been able to recognize how to find the optimum solution to a problem when all that was required to solve it was simple, elementary-school level arithmetic.

The problem isn't that they couldn't do it, they just didn't recognize that there was a way to do it.


Separate class seems kind of odd.  That should be part of learning the math itself.  But I agree, it often isn't.
The math books my high school used had some of the worst word problems ever.  "Lancelot and Guinevere sat under a tree finding derivatives.  Guinevere asked Lancelot to find the derivative of f(x) = x3ex.  What answer did Lancelot give?"
2013-10-28 09:17:54 AM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com

What the life of the party looks like.
2013-10-28 09:16:25 AM  
1 votes:

I_Am_Weasel: EvilEgg: Coding is a niche, mechanical skill, a bit like plumbing or car repair.

In other words a really handy thing to know.

For those times when an application springs a leak at 4 in the morning?


They can literally do that.
2013-10-28 08:56:54 AM  
1 votes:
What a cockwomble.
2013-10-28 08:47:40 AM  
1 votes:
This probably explains why I suck at coding.  I'm just too damn interesting.

/or impatient.
 
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