If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Toronto Star)   There may be hope for the human race, the zombies have turned against each other   (thestar.com) divider line 43
    More: Asinine, Community Code of Conduct, Halloween Parade, Nathan Phillips Square, Toronto  
•       •       •

6900 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Oct 2013 at 11:55 AM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-27 08:48:25 AM
You know, to me, that's always been the weakness and glaring plot inconsistency of any zombie movie: why don't the zombies just eat each other if they want flesh so much?  Yeah, I guess the living are USDA Prime meat and other zombies are the utility-grade stuff they serve in prison cafeterias, but the zombies are mindless anyway, so why do they care?

I guess there have been some movies that have tried to explain it by saying that zombies can smell the decay of each other and shun that, but you'd think that especially when all the living have left an area or been killed, they'd turn on each other.  And that sort of explanation doesn't seem to work for zombie movies that are based on the cause of the zombie outbreak being a disease, like in 21 Days Later or (as I understand it) The Walking Dead, because those "zombies" aren't decaying.  So what gives?

It's a big reason why, for the most part, I just find the zombie genre to be ridiculous.  All you'd probably have to do to survive the "zombie apocalypse" is hide somewhere for a while.  It would probably resolve itself.
 
2013-10-27 10:03:09 AM

jake_lex: It's a big reason why, for the most part, I just find the zombie genre to be ridiculous. All you'd probably have to do to survive the "zombie apocalypse" is hide somewhere for a while. It would probably resolve itself.


For someone who finds it ridiculous, you sure do seem to think it out alot.

That said, yeah - just get your ass to Canada and hide out in a remote area.  We have lots of remote here.
 
2013-10-27 11:05:33 AM
Can we please end the zombie fad already???
 
2013-10-27 11:58:01 AM
And I was sure before I moused over TFA's link that this was going to be about the civil war between the GOP establishment and the Tea Partiers. I has a sad.
 
2013-10-27 11:59:45 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: jake_lex: It's a big reason why, for the most part, I just find the zombie genre to be ridiculous. All you'd probably have to do to survive the "zombie apocalypse" is hide somewhere for a while. It would probably resolve itself.

For someone who finds it ridiculous, you sure do seem to think it out alot.

That said, yeah - just get your ass to Canada and hide out in a remote area.  We have lots of remote here.


I never knew you were Canadian! Explains a lot of the hand wringing and lack of a spine.
 
2013-10-27 12:01:06 PM
Maybe they are turning on each other but they can't really kill each other. Your hope is a false one, Subby.
 
2013-10-27 12:02:00 PM
There has been tremendously bad zombie movies on all weekend. Not even enjoyably bad, just bad. It doesn't seem like it'd be a hard genre to make movies that put you on the edge of your seat and not sag down in it groaning. And that one with the punk rock kids and the talking 'brains' zombies is the worst.
 
2013-10-27 12:08:56 PM

generallyso: Maybe they are turning on each other but they can't really kill each other. Your hope is a false one, Subby.


Sure they can, if they eat each other's brains.

I actually know Thea, the girl who runs the Zombie walk. I think this is gonna be her last one. The corporate zombies have taken over Toronto.

/Submitter
 
2013-10-27 12:13:42 PM
Dead people problems.
 
2013-10-27 12:18:21 PM

jake_lex: You know, to me, that's always been the weakness and glaring plot inconsistency of any zombie movie: why don't the zombies just eat each other if they want flesh so much?  Yeah, I guess the living are USDA Prime meat and other zombies are the utility-grade stuff they serve in prison cafeterias, but the zombies are mindless anyway, so why do they care?


D&D answer: Zombies don't have normal vision. Instead they have 'lifesight' which only allows them to see the auras of living creatures. They are effectively blind to the presence of all other undead.
 
2013-10-27 12:18:25 PM
Ghouls have been hijacked by the stupid members of society. There was a time when ghoul stories were rich with subtext and served as morality tales about humankind's nature. Now they're just dumb survivalist fantasies being embraced by the dolts of our society.

Such a shame. The dim-bulbs ruined vampires first, and now they've ruined zombies. I hate to see what fate is in store for werewolves.
 
2013-10-27 12:24:05 PM

jake_lex: You know, to me, that's always been the weakness and glaring plot inconsistency of any zombie movie: why don't the zombies just eat each other if they want flesh so much?
...
It's a big reason why, for the most part, I just find the zombie genre to be ridiculous.  All you'd probably have to do to survive the "zombie apocalypse" is hide somewhere for a while.  It would probably resolve itself.


There is an even greater weakness in the zombie genre: Zombies.
But once you accept that the deads can walk the earth then it's not that much of a stretch that they don't attack each other. If you need a reason then here's one: they're not cannibals.

Or maybe there are zombies that do attack each others but we do not ear from them because they do not successfully spread.
 
2013-10-27 12:26:31 PM

jake_lex: why don't the zombies just eat each other if they want flesh so much?


A frequent explanation, casts it like Toxoplasma gondii, which lives in cats.  Rats who contract it after contact with cat feces, will become attracted to the smell of cats and cat urine, increasing it's chances of getting caught and eaten by another cat.  The point is to spread the infection.  World War Z took this to one extreme, making zombies completely uninterested in those they could "smell" were dying of disease.

Zombies are symbolic and possibly scary, not a realistic threat.
 
2013-10-27 12:27:48 PM
Reading between the lines in my sexist way, looks like the biatch didn't feel appreciated so she threatened to take her zombies home and not play anymore.
 
2013-10-27 12:28:19 PM

ZeroCorpse: Ghouls have been hijacked by the stupid members of society. There was a time when ghoul stories were rich with subtext and served as morality tales about humankind's nature. Now they're just dumb survivalist fantasies being embraced by the dolts of our society.

Such a shame. The dim-bulbs ruined vampires first, and now they've ruined zombies. I hate to see what fate is in store for werewolves.


Agrees:

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-10-27 12:30:02 PM

danielscissorhands: generallyso: Maybe they are turning on each other but they can't really kill each other. Your hope is a false one, Subby.

Sure they can, if they eat each other's brains.

I actually know Thea, the girl who runs the Zombie walk. I think this is gonna be her last one. The corporate zombies have taken over Toronto.

/Submitter


if the article is to be believed the money guys are winning for now. damn shame too. and what the run gives to charity is pathetic. also that they expect the walk folks to help them in their money grab is both typical and pathetic.
 
2013-10-27 12:35:59 PM
The vampires or the werewolves will get them all. Then the mummies come..
 
2013-10-27 12:38:08 PM

jake_lex: You know, to me, that's always been the weakness and glaring plot inconsistency of any zombie movie: why don't the zombies just eat each other if they want flesh so much?  Yeah, I guess the living are USDA Prime meat and other zombies are the utility-grade stuff they serve in prison cafeterias, but the zombies are mindless anyway, so why do they care?

I guess there have been some movies that have tried to explain it by saying that zombies can smell the decay of each other and shun that, but you'd think that especially when all the living have left an area or been killed, they'd turn on each other.  And that sort of explanation doesn't seem to work for zombie movies that are based on the cause of the zombie outbreak being a disease, like in 21 Days Later or (as I understand it) The Walking Dead, because those "zombies" aren't decaying.  So what gives?

It's a big reason why, for the most part, I just find the zombie genre to be ridiculous.  All you'd probably have to do to survive the "zombie apocalypse" is hide somewhere for a while.  It would probably resolve itself.


Do you mean in current zombie twaddle, or in classic ghoul tales? Because I can answer for the latter.

In Romero's stories, it was not a virus, despite what everyone thinks. The official cause was unknown, though speculation was that a passing comet caused the recently deceased to become animated and cannibalistic (however, it could have been simple wrath-of-God stuff, too). Why didn't they prey on each other? Because whatever animated them made them part of a hive, so-to-speak. They were a force of nature, not individuals acting on individual desires. They did not eat the living because of hunger; They ate them because teeth and nails are humanity's only real weapons, and devouring our prey is second nature. Lions don't hunt each other, either. They hunt other species.

In O'Bannon's stories (Return of the Living Dead series) the dead are animated by a chemical, and this includes not only the recently deceased (as in Romero's series) but the long-deceased as well. In ROTLD series sinewy skeletons were animated (which makes ZERO sense, of course). The reason the undead attacked the living in this series was to eat their brains, which the ghouls describe as relieving the pain of being dead. They can feel themselves rotting, and eating brains temporarily eases that pain. Presumably, eating the brains of other ghouls would be useless, as they're coated with the chemical and therefore no longer able to serve the pain-relieving function.

In 28 Days Later they aren't ghouls or zombies by any stretch of the imagination. They're completely ALIVE and infected with a sort of human super-rabies. They attack other people because that's the nature of the disease-- It compels carriers to infect others who are not yet infected. They don't attack others who are already infected because there would be no point; They're already infected!

In Walking Dead, EVERYONE is infected by the disease, and the disease has the side-effect of causing people who die (in any way) to be reanimated. They don't particularly seek the living to eat them, though; They just ATTACK them, much like Romero's ghouls, with the goal being to kill the victim. Eating them is just second-nature. It's not out of hunger; It's because humans tend to tear and eat their prey when they become feral. And the reason they don't attack other ghouls is believed to be because the smell of decay deters them from attacking; It's a marker that tells them who is prey and who is not.

And yes, the whole "zombie apocalypse" (gods, how I hate that term) is ridiculous. It was never meant to be serious. Romero's stories use ghouls as a backdrop-- Something that happens to force humans into stressful social situations laced with horror. The ghouls in Romero's stories are not the enemy; They're just the setting.

O'Bannon's stories are flat-out ridiculous. They're horror-comedy. Sometimes they're downright goofy ("Send more paramedics!")
 
2013-10-27 12:54:50 PM

ZeroCorpse: I hate to see what fate is in store for werewolves.


Teen Wolf.  I haven't seen the most recent season, but when I did watch, the main character was one of those tormented, I-want-to-control-my-animal-nature types.  Werewolves have been neutered.


UNC_Samurai: Agrees:

[Charon]


My husband says that guy must have the worst case of itchy butt crack because of the way he grumbles all the time.
 
2013-10-27 01:23:03 PM

rudemix: There has been tremendously bad zombie movies on all weekend. Not even enjoyably bad, just bad. It doesn't seem like it'd be a hard genre to make movies that put you on the edge of your seat and not sag down in it groaning. And that one with the punk rock kids and the talking 'brains' zombies is the worst.


Return of the Living Dead? How could you not like that one? There are way worse zombie movies out there.
 
2013-10-27 01:28:33 PM

duffblue: Benevolent Misanthrope: jake_lex: It's a big reason why, for the most part, I just find the zombie genre to be ridiculous. All you'd probably have to do to survive the "zombie apocalypse" is hide somewhere for a while. It would probably resolve itself.

For someone who finds it ridiculous, you sure do seem to think it out alot.

That said, yeah - just get your ass to Canada and hide out in a remote area.  We have lots of remote here.

I never knew you were Canadian! Explains a lot of the hand wringing and lack of a spine.


Born American.  Live in Canada.  Fark you.
 
2013-10-27 01:42:16 PM
ZeroCorpse: ("Send more paramedics!")

Yes, excellent -- although that film actually goes much deeper into the whole Zombie Question than most zombie claptrap. The reason so much of the zombie genre is stupid is because most zombie stories are poorly thought-out.

World War Z was nicely written, with some good characterization, but almost everything about the zombies in it was really, really not well-considered. Most zombie stories either have terrible zombies or idiot humans, or both.

If you find yourself in a zombie apocalypse of the sort where zombies want to eat the brains of living humans, first find that one jackass among the survivors who's going to ruin it for everyone else. Kill him immediately, remove his brain, and use slingshots or similar to tag zombies with bits of it. If you know how to load paintballs, use a paintball gun. The other zombies will chase and/or attack the zombie with fresh brains painted on it.

This is basic primary anti-zombie tactics. If you're taking notes from The Walking Dead, you're gonna have a bad time.
 
2013-10-27 01:58:24 PM

danielscissorhands: generallyso: Maybe they are turning on each other but they can't really kill each other. Your hope is a false one, Subby.

Sure they can, if they eat each other's brains.

I actually know Thea, the girl who runs the Zombie walk. I think this is gonna be her last one. The corporate zombies have taken over Toronto.

/Submitter


heh, corporate zombies

/there's like three ways to use that term
//ahhh, pissing contests among the undead
 
2013-10-27 02:30:38 PM

ZeroCorpse: Ghouls have been hijacked by the stupid members of society. There was a time when ghoul stories were rich with subtext and served as morality tales about humankind's nature. Now they're just dumb survivalist fantasies being embraced by the dolts of our society.

Such a shame. The dim-bulbs ruined vampires first, and now they've ruined zombies. I hate to see what fate is in store for werewolves.


Two words:  Teen Wolf.
 
2013-10-27 02:49:01 PM

jake_lex: why don't the zombies just eat each other if they want flesh so much?


You mean why don't they eat dead, decaying flesh rather than intact, living meat?

I dunno. Let me mull it over while I cook some week-old roadkill.
 
2013-10-27 02:57:42 PM
I was hoping this would be about The Rangers.

maclad1888.blog.com
 
2013-10-27 02:58:46 PM

ZeroCorpse: Ghouls have been hijacked by the stupid members of society. There was a time when ghoul stories were rich with subtext and served as morality tales about humankind's nature. Now they're just dumb survivalist fantasies being embraced by the dolts of our society.

Such a shame. The dim-bulbs ruined vampires first, and now they've ruined zombies. I hate to see what fate is in store for werewolves.


Yeah, when I watched Dawn of the Dead, at the end I realised it was actually a very powerful film about racism. It really blew me away.
 
2013-10-27 02:59:59 PM
"Richards, who previously founded ... a company that helps people go vegetarian..."


What does a vegetarian zombie say?

GGRRAAAAAAAAAAIINNNSSSSS!!!
 
2013-10-27 03:10:27 PM

danielscissorhands: generallyso: Maybe they are turning on each other but they can't really kill each other. Your hope is a false one, Subby.

Sure they can, if they eat each other's brains.

I actually know Thea, the girl who runs the Zombie walk. I think this is gonna be her last one. The corporate zombies have taken over Toronto.

/Submitter


That's too bad. It's a great event and she's done a lot for it. Its character has changed a lot since it moved from Trinity-Bellwoods though.
 
2013-10-27 04:05:51 PM

danielscissorhands: generallyso: Maybe they are turning on each other but they can't really kill each other. Your hope is a false one, Subby.

Sure they can, if they eat each other's brains.

I actually know Thea, the girl who runs the Zombie walk. I think this is gonna be her last one. The corporate zombies have taken over Toronto.

/Submitter


Thea threatens to quit every year, organizing the walk is *incredibly* stressful and time consuming... this year seems to have been the worst so far though, between the cost of permits piling up, the city's threat to make all public squares corporate-only (which did no get passed, in part thanks to Thea's public awareness work and petitioning), and especially from the corporate for-profit Zombie Run people's aggressive tactics... they're real dicks...

I've enjoyed and been peripherally involved in the event for a number of years now, it's a great time, and lots of fun... the costumes and people-watching are second to none
 
2013-10-27 04:06:06 PM

sandbar67: "Richards, who previously founded ... a company that helps people go vegetarian..."


What does a vegetarian zombie say?

GGRRAAAAAAAAAAIINNNSSSSS!!!


That is just an awesome joke. I am going to tell that to almost everyone i know! :D

Did u make that up?
 
2013-10-27 04:07:34 PM

angrycrank: danielscissorhands: generallyso: Maybe they are turning on each other but they can't really kill each other. Your hope is a false one, Subby.

Sure they can, if they eat each other's brains.

I actually know Thea, the girl who runs the Zombie walk. I think this is gonna be her last one. The corporate zombies have taken over Toronto.

/Submitter

That's too bad. It's a great event and she's done a lot for it. Its character has changed a lot since it moved from Trinity-Bellwoods though.


Yeah. It's a shame. Corporate people suck. They are already zombies, they don't have to be killed first. But it would be nice if someone killed them.
 
2013-10-27 04:08:09 PM
Don't have to die first, rather.
 
2013-10-27 04:09:37 PM

Curious: danielscissorhands: generallyso: Maybe they are turning on each other but they can't really kill each other. Your hope is a false one, Subby.

Sure they can, if they eat each other's brains.

I actually know Thea, the girl who runs the Zombie walk. I think this is gonna be her last one. The corporate zombies have taken over Toronto.

/Submitter

if the article is to be believed the money guys are winning for now. damn shame too. and what the run gives to charity is pathetic. also that they expect the walk folks to help them in their money grab is both typical and pathetic.


You don't think giving 2% of the money you earn to charity is generous? Those people are true philanthropists!
 
2013-10-27 04:18:43 PM

bwilson27: The vampires or the werewolves will get them all. Then the mummies come..


    First they came for the zombies,
    and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a zombie.
    Then they came for the mummies,
    and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a mummy.
    Then they came for the werewolves,
    and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a werewolf.
    Then they came for me,
    and there was no one left to speak for me.

   Pastor Martin Niemöller
  1937
 
2013-10-27 04:25:59 PM

danielscissorhands: sandbar67: "Richards, who previously founded ... a company that helps people go vegetarian..."


What does a vegetarian zombie say?

GGRRAAAAAAAAAAIINNNSSSSS!!!

That is just an awesome joke. I am going to tell that to almost everyone i know! :D

Did u make that up?


This being Fark, I detect a hint of sarcasm there.

In case I'm mistaken, no, its an old joke and I did not make it up. I will however, be here all week.

/try the veal
 
2013-10-27 04:28:03 PM

danielscissorhands: Those people are true philanthropists!


only if you subscribe to the motto: "charity begins at home".
 
2013-10-27 04:34:07 PM

sandbar67: danielscissorhands: sandbar67: "Richards, who previously founded ... a company that helps people go vegetarian..."


What does a vegetarian zombie say?

GGRRAAAAAAAAAAIINNNSSSSS!!!

That is just an awesome joke. I am going to tell that to almost everyone i know! :D

Did u make that up?

This being Fark, I detect a hint of sarcasm there.

In case I'm mistaken, no, its an old joke and I did not make it up. I will however, be here all week.

/try the veal


I truly wasn't being sarcastic. I liked the joke.
 
2013-10-27 06:09:14 PM
Stop liking what i dont like!

Also, no one can take away your favorite version of monster x, they can only make their own. If no more are made the way you like, get more support for it.

I think twilight is crap, but what makes my imagined vampire more valid a movie topic than a tween's? They are just movies and there is room for all of them.
 
2013-10-27 06:13:40 PM
Smackledorfer:

I think twilight is crap, but what makes my imagined vampire more valid a movie topic than a tween's? They are just movies and there is room for all of them.

I see you haven't seen the Twilight movies. Either that or you have seen the Twilight Zone movies and no other vampire movies.

lol
 
2013-10-27 08:16:23 PM
Pittsburgh PA is very big on Zombies and recently just had a Zombie Fest and Zombie Bar Crawl. It was a lot of fun.

When ever I watch any horror movie I do not really look for a realistic reason that the Monster or whatever exist because the belief in Monsters is based on myth.  Every horror movie I have watched seems silly to me but I still watch.
 
2013-10-27 10:47:14 PM
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/zombie_how

How Everything Goes to Hell During a Zombie Apocalypse. (NSFW - language)


The thing to remember about most zombie films/books is that there was no such thing as zombie legends in their universe, so nobody automatically knows to go for the head-shot for example.
 
2013-10-28 02:07:25 PM
Shaun of the Dead is the only good zombie movie. Period.
 
Displayed 43 of 43 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report