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(Oregon Live)   So the reviews for Ridley Scott's "The Counselor" are terrible. But Cameron Diaz has sex with a Ferrari, so there's that   (oregonlive.com) divider line 61
    More: Weird, Ridley Scott, Cameron Diaz, showgirls, Javier Bardem, Cormac McCarthy, Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Brad Pitt  
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2968 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 25 Oct 2013 at 11:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-25 09:45:19 PM  
www.kastnerandpartnersgarage.com
 
2013-10-25 11:54:13 PM  
It's distressing to see that Ridley Scott is in a directorial slump lately. From the disappointing Robin Hood to the abominable Prometheus, it's been painful to witness. Whatever happened to the dynamic director who brought us Blade Runner, Alien, Black Hawk Down and the like? Bring him back!
 
2013-10-25 11:59:45 PM  

Apos: It's distressing to see that Ridley Scott is in a directorial slump lately. From the disappointing Robin Hood to the abominable Prometheus, it's been painful to witness. Whatever happened to the dynamic director who brought us Blade Runner, Alien, Black Hawk Down and the like? Bring him back!


His brother's suicide probably isn't helping any.
 
2013-10-26 12:01:30 AM  

Apos: It's distressing to see that Ridley Scott is in a directorial slump lately. From the disappointing Robin Hood to the abominable Prometheus, it's been painful to witness. Whatever happened to the dynamic director who brought us Blade Runner, Alien, Black Hawk Down and the like? Bring him back!


He's 75.
 
2013-10-26 12:10:51 AM  
Cormac McCarthy?  WTF???

Blood Meridian to this?  Holy fark, Hollywood.
 
2013-10-26 12:11:53 AM  

Apos: the abominable Prometheus,


Didn't think it was great, but I've never understood the amount of hate that movie gets.
 
2013-10-26 12:13:32 AM  
Start

www.flicksandbits.com

i.dailymail.co.uk


Middle

i.imgur.com

Near the End

/Best I could do
 
2013-10-26 12:15:29 AM  
I don't know. The AV Club gave it a B and the NY Times was fairly complementary. I still might give it a try.
 
2013-10-26 12:21:45 AM  
Hope no cold water splashed on Turbo Teen.
 
2013-10-26 12:26:18 AM  

Fano: Hope no cold water splashed on Turbo Teen.


Nice.

/hi-five
 
2013-10-26 12:26:52 AM  

Hempmonkey: Start

[www.flicksandbits.com image 770x514]

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x382]


Middle

[i.imgur.com image 610x851]

Near the End

/Best I could do


A sticker on the front windshield of a Ferrari? Blasphemy.
 
2013-10-26 12:37:13 AM  

Triumph: Apos: the abominable Prometheus,

Didn't think it was great, but I've never understood the amount of hate that movie gets.


If it had been a less notable director, the outcry wouldn't have been as loud.
 
2013-10-26 12:45:41 AM  

Apos: Triumph: Apos: the abominable Prometheus,

Didn't think it was great, but I've never understood the amount of hate that movie gets.

If it had been a less notable director, the outcry wouldn't have been as loud.


Partly because only 1/10 of the numbers would've paid to see it.
 
2013-10-26 12:53:02 AM  
So... the movie is even more terrible.
 
2013-10-26 12:56:09 AM  
I'm pretty sure that some alien creature replaced the real Ridley Scott with a pod version that is a really terrible director.
 
2013-10-26 01:02:18 AM  

Smackledorfer: Fano: Hope no cold water splashed on Turbo Teen.

Nice.

/hi-five


LOL thanks

/hi five back
 
2013-10-26 01:03:22 AM  
Can reviewer actually, you know, review the movie? I hate that pretentious conversation masked as a review more than I could ever hate the movie, which I will probably never see.
 
2013-10-26 01:13:30 AM  

Gobobo: Apos: Triumph: Apos: the abominable Prometheus,

Didn't think it was great, but I've never understood the amount of hate that movie gets.

If it had been a less notable director, the outcry wouldn't have been as loud.

Partly because only 1/10 of the numbers would've paid to see it.


No, it was a terrible movie.  And you should feel bad for trying to defend it.
 
2013-10-26 01:19:18 AM  

Gobobo: Apos: Triumph: Apos: the abominable Prometheus,

Didn't think it was great, but I've never understood the amount of hate that movie gets.

If it had been a less notable director, the outcry wouldn't have been as loud.

Partly because only 1/10 of the numbers would've paid to see it.


No argument there.

One has to wonder, given the pedigree, if this role will impede Fassbender's chances at nabbing an Oscar statuette for "12 Years A Slave" next year-just as "Norbit" robbed Eddie Murphy of his "Dreamgirls" chance years ago.....
 
2013-10-26 01:26:08 AM  

Hempmonkey: Start

[www.flicksandbits.com image 770x514]

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x382]

Middle

[i.imgur.com image 610x851]

Near the End

/Best I could do


s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-10-26 01:36:02 AM  
I dunno. I may pay a little to see Cameron Diaz f*ck a car. But then I have weird tastes.
 
2013-10-26 01:53:37 AM  

Apos: It's distressing to see that Ridley Scott is in a directorial slump lately. From the disappointing Robin Hood to the abominable Prometheus, it's been painful to witness. Whatever happened to the dynamic director who brought us Blade Runner, Alien, Black Hawk Down and the like? Bring him back!


Aging steals another talent from us.
 
2013-10-26 03:07:33 AM  

blue_2501: Gobobo: Apos: Triumph: Apos: the abominable Prometheus,

Didn't think it was great, but I've never understood the amount of hate that movie gets.

If it had been a less notable director, the outcry wouldn't have been as loud.

Partly because only 1/10 of the numbers would've paid to see it.

No, it was a terrible movie.  And you should feel bad for trying to defend it.


That was a terrible YouTube reviewer, and you should feel bad for linking to him.
 
2013-10-26 03:29:44 AM  
can someone confirm that the lingerie store scene with Natalie Dormer didn't make the final cut?  because that scene was full of awesome.
 
2013-10-26 03:47:42 AM  

fusillade762: Hempmonkey: Start

[www.flicksandbits.com image 770x514]

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x382]

Middle

[i.imgur.com image 610x851]

Near the End

/Best I could do


I find myself unconvinced by the body double.
 
2013-10-26 03:54:17 AM  
Giggity?
 
2013-10-26 04:03:18 AM  
Still with the prometheus hate? The only thing wrong with prometheus was the rolling space ship and the running in the wrong direction. Everything else made perfect sense.

That review, for a film I'd never heard about till now, was so negative it just reeks of someone with an axe to grind or a rival studio paid for it. I don't pay much attention to reviews, but now I want to see this film,just to know how accurate it is.
 
2013-10-26 04:15:04 AM  
I'm sure the fanboys will still find a way to blame Damon Lindelof for this film's critical failure.

/they still won't acknowledge the things they hated in Prometheus were Ridley Scott's ideas
 
2013-10-26 04:41:13 AM  

Slaxl: Still with the prometheus hate? The only thing wrong with prometheus was the rolling space ship and the running in the wrong direction. Everything else made perfect sense.


No. No it didn't. The holograms running into that room? The eleventy-odd scenes that only make sense if the character read the script and knew what would happen in the future (e.g. the pregnancy)? The whole concept that they they left maps to what could only be described as their weapons facility here on Earth?

I love Ridley Scott to death and he has made some of my all-time favorite movies. But he went full Star Wars Prequels on this one.
 
2013-10-26 05:35:17 AM  
I think Scott still makes good looking movies and he can get a good performance from his actors. Knowing what a good script is on the other hand....
 
2013-10-26 06:49:49 AM  
I once dated a girl who farked the gear shift on her car while I sat there watching with a mixture of amazement and fear. I can't believe she wasn't seriously injured.

/CSB.
 
2013-10-26 07:26:41 AM  

Slaxl: Still with the prometheus hate? The only thing wrong with prometheus was the rolling space ship and the running in the wrong direction. Everything else made perfect sense.


i'll admit that i liked prometheus, but nothing made sense in that movie.  nothing that fassbender did in that movie had any logic behind it at all.  those two guys somehow getting lost in the caves was an idiotic plot hole.  how could they possibly have gotten lost and no one realized it?  how could the monster the chick gave birth to possibly grow to be so huge without eating anything?  after she gives birth to the monster, the other people on the ship aren't even concerned about what happened to her?  seriously, that movie was one boggling plot hole after the other.  i liked the movie, but it was mostly random nonsense.

Apos: From the disappointing Robin Hood to the abominable Prometheus


honestly i thought robin hood was way better than i expected it to be.  i thought it was pretty great, except that stupid part at the end where cate blanchett leads the children into battle.  who thought that was a good idea?
 
2013-10-26 07:54:36 AM  
Hmmmmm.... let's see.

Robin Hood? check. Several times better than the last 2.
Prometheus? check. Excelllent sci-fi, great action, creepy orgin story. Android that makes Bishop look like a paper plate.
American Gangster? check.
Body of Lies? check
etc
etc
etc

Yeah... I'm going to presume 'The Counselor' will be a pretty damn good movie.

You guys can continue to praise whatever movies you do (if you ever like one at all?)

Maybe The Hangover 2, The Avengers or The Hunger Games is more your speed. Though for most I'm quite sure there hasn't been a movie made that is quite up to snuff for you. Except everything you watched through the nostalgic lens of your youth.

While internet forums intent sewing circles dwell on the insignificant until it enters meme-hood, the rest of us will be enjoying good movies;

not desperately trying to justify missing the forest for the trees by picking out which trees you don't like in particular.

/"did you see all the illogical character decisions in Prometheus! sheesh, see? this is why Alien and Aliens were so good, everything was realistic and everything everyone did in that movie made perfect sense!"
//GAME OVER Ridley Scott, GAME OVER MAN, internet people say so because that other guy on the internet also said so
 
2013-10-26 08:46:36 AM  

Slaxl: Still with the prometheus hate? The only thing wrong with prometheus was the rolling space ship and the running in the wrong direction. Everything else made perfect sense.


What about the motherfarker who brought the god damn mapping balls somehow getting lost? How the hell does that happen? He has the god damn map!!!

What about the motherfarker dissing the biologist on the ship and was all like "I'm here to make money, not be your friend". And then later on was like "I'm a geologist! I study rocks! Not dead bodies!" while being IN A CAVE ON AN ALIEN WORLD SURROUNDED BY ROCKS (so go study some, asshole). Oh wait, that was the same motherfarker. Seriously, who the fark was that guy and why'd they bring him along?!

What about the biologist who is all scared about dead things and is like "don't touch anything" but later on sees a deadly animal and all of a sudden is full of courage and is trying to pet the damn thing? How stupid can one be?

What about the archeologist dude finding incredible alien artifacts on an unknown world and being completely underwhelmed, and crying about how it's "just another tomb" while finding solace at the bottom of the bottle. Any real archeologist would lose his proverbial shiat at a find like that. It's bigger than Howard Carter and Indiana Jones combined! Who the fark thinks like that?

What about the asshole who takes off his god damn helmet without giving any care or consideration for microbes or environmental contamination, either from him or on him? Oh wait, that was the same asshole. What the fark was he thinking?

What about the stupid biatch who had her abdominal muscles completely severed in such a way that she'd never have any control over her hips, torso or pelvis, and unable to stand up without her body cavity falling out, suddenly running and jumping around for the rest of the movie? How stupid do the filmmakers think we are to assume that we'd just gloss over that part and think that because her skin was stapled shut everything's all hunky-dory in there?

What about the stupid Captain and Charlize Theron abandoning their posts in the most unprofessional manner and saying "Most incredible discovery in human history? fark this shiat, let's go have sex."

What about the two pilots who are all like "I'm happy with no cares or worries whatsoever. I got an idea: Let's commit suicide!"


Prometheus was a dumb movie, with dumb characters, dumb motivations, dumb dialogue, dumb actions and dumb plot twists that completely betrayed its premise. These people are supposed to be intelligent scientists with advanced degrees in their fields and they displayed absolutely ZERO scientific rigor and investigative inquiry, and they expressed nothing other than sheer contempt or sighing tedium at something that should have been blowing their farking minds every five seconds with every new discovery. How many alien worlds have these people been on before and how many alien civilizations have they studied to give them such a jaded outlook?

That's what was wrong with Prometheus. The characters were thoroughly unlikable because they were insultingly stupid in their motivations and their dialogue. The only one who played true to his part was the god damn replicant.
 
2013-10-26 08:48:18 AM  
Two old cranks thinking their pedigree can whip up a good movie on the fly.  You can tell Cormac's success has gotten to his cranky old head.
 
2013-10-26 09:02:06 AM  

Ishkur: Slaxl: Still with the prometheus hate? The only thing wrong with prometheus was the rolling space ship and the running in the wrong direction. Everything else made perfect sense.

What about the motherfarker who brought the god damn mapping balls somehow getting lost? How the hell does that happen? He has the god damn map!!!

What about the motherfarker dissing the biologist on the ship and was all like "I'm here to make money, not be your friend". And then later on was like "I'm a geologist! I study rocks! Not dead bodies!" while being IN A CAVE ON AN ALIEN WORLD SURROUNDED BY ROCKS (so go study some, asshole). Oh wait, that was the same motherfarker. Seriously, who the fark was that guy and why'd they bring him along?!

What about the biologist who is all scared about dead things and is like "don't touch anything" but later on sees a deadly animal and all of a sudden is full of courage and is trying to pet the damn thing? How stupid can one be?

What about the archeologist dude finding incredible alien artifacts on an unknown world and being completely underwhelmed, and crying about how it's "just another tomb" while finding solace at the bottom of the bottle. Any real archeologist would lose his proverbial shiat at a find like that. It's bigger than Howard Carter and Indiana Jones combined! Who the fark thinks like that?

What about the asshole who takes off his god damn helmet without giving any care or consideration for microbes or environmental contamination, either from him or on him? Oh wait, that was the same asshole. What the fark was he thinking?

What about the stupid biatch who had her abdominal muscles completely severed in such a way that she'd never have any control over her hips, torso or pelvis, and unable to stand up without her body cavity falling out, suddenly running and jumping around for the rest of the movie? How stupid do the filmmakers think we are to assume that we'd just gloss over that part and think that because her skin was stapled shut everything's all hunky-dory in there?

What about the stupid Captain and Charlize Theron abandoning their posts in the most unprofessional manner and saying "Most incredible discovery in human history? fark this shiat, let's go have sex."

What about the two pilots who are all like "I'm happy with no cares or worries whatsoever. I got an idea: Let's commit suicide!"


Prometheus was a dumb movie, with dumb characters, dumb motivations, dumb dialogue, dumb actions and dumb plot twists that completely betrayed its premise. These people are supposed to be intelligent scientists with advanced degrees in their fields and they displayed absolutely ZERO scientific rigor and investigative inquiry, and they expressed nothing other than sheer contempt or sighing tedium at something that should have been blowing their farking minds every five seconds with every new discovery. How many alien worlds have these people been on before and how many alien civilizations have they studied to give them such a jaded outlook?

That's what was wrong with Prometheus. The characters were thoroughly unlikable because they were insultingly stupid in their motivations and their dialogue. The only one who played true to his part was the god damn replicant.


And how about the entire premise: if the engineers have the exact same dna as humans, why a) do they look so different, and b) do humans share 99% of their dna with apes?

Another puzzle: how did so many talented people end up making what is evidenly a lousy movie as The Councillor?
 
2013-10-26 09:12:46 AM  

Ishkur: Slaxl: Still with the prometheus hate? The only thing wrong with prometheus was the rolling space ship and the running in the wrong direction. Everything else made perfect sense.

What about the motherfarker who brought the god damn mapping balls somehow getting lost? How the hell does that happen? He has the god damn map!!!

What about the motherfarker dissing the biologist on the ship and was all like "I'm here to make money, not be your friend". And then later on was like "I'm a geologist! I study rocks! Not dead bodies!" while being IN A CAVE ON AN ALIEN WORLD SURROUNDED BY ROCKS (so go study some, asshole). Oh wait, that was the same motherfarker. Seriously, who the fark was that guy and why'd they bring him along?!

What about the biologist who is all scared about dead things and is like "don't touch anything" but later on sees a deadly animal and all of a sudden is full of courage and is trying to pet the damn thing? How stupid can one be?

What about the archeologist dude finding incredible alien artifacts on an unknown world and being completely underwhelmed, and crying about how it's "just another tomb" while finding solace at the bottom of the bottle. Any real archeologist would lose his proverbial shiat at a find like that. It's bigger than Howard Carter and Indiana Jones combined! Who the fark thinks like that?

What about the asshole who takes off his god damn helmet without giving any care or consideration for microbes or environmental contamination, either from him or on him? Oh wait, that was the same asshole. What the fark was he thinking?

What about the stupid biatch who had her abdominal muscles completely severed in such a way that she'd never have any control over her hips, torso or pelvis, and unable to stand up without her body cavity falling out, suddenly running and jumping around for the rest of the movie? How stupid do the filmmakers think we are to assume that we'd just gloss over that part and think that because her skin was stapled sh ...


www.terrapass.com
 
2013-10-26 09:45:04 AM  
I never understood why the huge corporations in movies hire the most loose cannon employees they can. You would think that they would try to hire as professional of astronauts and scientists that they could. Most of the ship's crew in Prometheus I wouldn't hire for our manufacturing floor.
 
2013-10-26 10:26:34 AM  
Hmmm...the reviewer seemed like he wanting to be all cutesy with his review.  Not reliable.
 
2013-10-26 10:37:42 AM  

JK8Fan: I never understood why the huge corporations in movies hire the most loose cannon employees they can. You would think that they would try to hire as professional of astronauts and scientists that they could. Most of the ship's crew in Prometheus I wouldn't hire for our manufacturing floor.


Conflict makes stories interesting.   Imagine Apollo13 if there were no hardware failures.
 
2013-10-26 10:38:58 AM  

kim jong-un: JK8Fan: I never understood why the huge corporations in movies hire the most loose cannon employees they can. You would think that they would try to hire as professional of astronauts and scientists that they could. Most of the ship's crew in Prometheus I wouldn't hire for our manufacturing floor.

Conflict makes stories interesting.   Imagine Apollo13 if there were no hardware failures.


As a followup.  Apollo 13 is a good example of how to introduce conflict without resorting to lazy techniques like 'loose cannon characters'
 
2013-10-26 10:56:54 AM  

kim jong-un: As a followup. Apollo 13 is a good example of how to introduce conflict without resorting to lazy techniques like 'loose cannon characters'


One of the best movies for this is Carpenter's The Thing. You have (mostly) highly educated, intelligent men on an Antarctic research station. None of them make any stupid choices or decisions throughout the movie. The Thing simply outsmarts and outmaneuvers them, even when they know what it is and what it can do.

Every modern horror writer and director should study that movie as a template on how to create a compelling ensemble cast of characters and how to progress a story without being forced to write any of them into a corner for the sake of plot.

It IS possible to make a good, compelling sci-fi film full of intelligent characters who make rational, justifiable decisions, and not insult the intelligence of your audience. Unfortunately, a lazy hack like Damon Lindelof doesn't know how to do that.
 
2013-10-26 11:18:53 AM  

fusillade762: Hempmonkey: Start

[www.flicksandbits.com image 770x514]

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x382]

Middle

[i.imgur.com image 610x851]

Near the End

/Best I could do

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 500x282]


Since I started home-officing, I just realized I need to get out more often...
 
2013-10-26 11:31:57 AM  

Ishkur: kim jong-un: As a followup. Apollo 13 is a good example of how to introduce conflict without resorting to lazy techniques like 'loose cannon characters'

One of the best movies for this is Carpenter's The Thing. You have (mostly) highly educated, intelligent men on an Antarctic research station. None of them make any stupid choices or decisions throughout the movie. The Thing simply outsmarts and outmaneuvers them, even when they know what it is and what it can do.

Every modern horror writer and director should study that movie as a template on how to create a compelling ensemble cast of characters and how to progress a story without being forced to write any of them into a corner for the sake of plot.

It IS possible to make a good, compelling sci-fi film full of intelligent characters who make rational, justifiable decisions, and not insult the intelligence of your audience. Unfortunately, a lazy hack like Damon Lindelof doesn't know how to do that.


All of this. It's possible to have an ensemble make the best decisions the could at the time, without holding the idiot ball. But that's harder than using Jr high stereotypes and jersey shore archetypes. Maybe Cabin in the Woods was on to something. Apollo 13 was an excellent example of smart folks doing their best under bad conditions, without resorting to having a guy sabotage the mission because *reasons* even though that will kill him etc.
 
2013-10-26 11:35:54 AM  
Triumph:
Apos: the abominable Prometheus,

Didn't think it was great, but I've never understood the amount of hate that movie gets.


Other than, ya know, making no sense?
 
2013-10-26 12:10:43 PM  

Triumph: Hempmonkey: Start

[www.flicksandbits.com image 770x514]

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x382]


Middle

[i.imgur.com image 610x851]

Near the End

/Best I could do

A sticker on the front windshield of a Ferrari? Blasphemy.


You know how I know you haven't seen a Ferrari on the streets?
 
2013-10-26 12:35:20 PM  

MagSeven: Ishkur: Slaxl: Still with the prometheus hate? The only thing wrong with prometheus was the rolling space ship and the running in the wrong direction. Everything else made perfect sense.

What about the motherfarker who brought the god damn mapping balls somehow getting lost? How the hell does that happen? He has the god damn map!!!

What about the motherfarker dissing the biologist on the ship and was all like "I'm here to make money, not be your friend". And then later on was like "I'm a geologist! I study rocks! Not dead bodies!" while being IN A CAVE ON AN ALIEN WORLD SURROUNDED BY ROCKS (so go study some, asshole). Oh wait, that was the same motherfarker. Seriously, who the fark was that guy and why'd they bring him along?!

What about the biologist who is all scared about dead things and is like "don't touch anything" but later on sees a deadly animal and all of a sudden is full of courage and is trying to pet the damn thing? How stupid can one be?

What about the archeologist dude finding incredible alien artifacts on an unknown world and being completely underwhelmed, and crying about how it's "just another tomb" while finding solace at the bottom of the bottle. Any real archeologist would lose his proverbial shiat at a find like that. It's bigger than Howard Carter and Indiana Jones combined! Who the fark thinks like that?

What about the asshole who takes off his god damn helmet without giving any care or consideration for microbes or environmental contamination, either from him or on him? Oh wait, that was the same asshole. What the fark was he thinking?

What about the stupid biatch who had her abdominal muscles completely severed in such a way that she'd never have any control over her hips, torso or pelvis, and unable to stand up without her body cavity falling out, suddenly running and jumping around for the rest of the movie? How stupid do the filmmakers think we are to assume that we'd just gloss over that part and think that because her skin was stapled sh ...


I think this was all summed up under the article talking about the insane clown posse away team

Seriously? Scientific protocols?! Containment? Infection!?

Also the need to "touch" everything even has its own Meme :)
 
2013-10-26 01:11:52 PM  
I want to punch the critic in uvula for writing that review.
 
2013-10-26 01:56:36 PM  
Sorry subby, but that woman who claims to be Cameron Diaz I say is her twin sister.  The real Cameron died after "The Mask"; but no one in Hollyweird wants to admit that.
 
2013-10-26 02:16:42 PM  
I love how all the Prometheus bashing basically boils down to "I didn't understand why they did that so it sucks".  Maybe the characters' motivations were just a bit outside your grasp.
 
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