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(Washington Times)   Take, and eat.... This is my hepatitis A   (washingtontimes.com) divider line 42
    More: Scary, North Dakota, loss of appetite, bishops, contaminated food  
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6269 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Oct 2013 at 7:01 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-25 05:48:47 PM
I thought the body of Christ was immune to the hep.
 
2013-10-25 06:41:28 PM

Marcus Aurelius: I thought the body of Christ was immune to the hep.


It is, so if you get it then it's your fault because you didn't believe strongly enough.
 
2013-10-25 07:00:41 PM
My subconscious reach for the bells reflex is still strong.
 
2013-10-25 07:04:16 PM
The diocese says he contracted the infection through contaminated food while attending a conference for newly ordained bishops in Italy last month.

Riiiiiiiiight...
 
2013-10-25 07:11:25 PM
I see no emergency , due to lefty's insurgency.

/Watch for the Golden Corral fatties..........
 
2013-10-25 07:11:35 PM
Its Fargo, they can't tell if its hep a or the clamato+beer dissolving their livers...

Don't chu know...
 
2013-10-25 07:16:21 PM
church members in Fargo, Grand Forks and Jamestown

Religious leader in  Jonestown Jamestown hands out unhealthy consumables to followers.
 
2013-10-25 07:16:23 PM
Peter:  Is that really the blood of Christ?
Preist:  Yes.
Peter:   Man, that guy must have been wasted 24 hours a day
 
2013-10-25 07:17:02 PM
The common-cup style of communion is icky.  My church always used individual half-ounce shot glasses.
 
2013-10-25 07:17:31 PM
Cry me a liver.
 
2013-10-25 07:21:04 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: The diocese says he contracted the infection through contaminated food while attending a conference for newly ordained bishops in Italy last month.

Riiiiiiiiight...


Oh it's true alright. Just don't ask for details of the ordination.
 
2013-10-25 07:23:26 PM
Isn't that the reason why we all get immunized from heps a to b?

/ the power of vaccination compels you
 
2013-10-25 07:23:44 PM

uncleacid: Cry me a liver.


Lol
 
2013-10-25 07:25:45 PM

Prof. Frink: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: The diocese says he contracted the infection through contaminated food while attending a conference for newly ordained bishops in Italy last month.

Riiiiiiiiight...

Oh it's true alright. Just don't ask for details of the ordination.


Dock side poxie trollops?
 
2013-10-25 07:26:19 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: The diocese says he contracted the infection through contaminated food while attending a conference for newly ordained bishops in Italy last month.

Riiiiiiiiight...


hepatitis A virus (HAV),[1] an RNA virus, usually spread by the fecal-oral route

He went to Italy to brown nose the Cardinals and all he got was that lousy virus.
 
2013-10-25 07:26:30 PM
Hep not, lest ye' be hepped.
 
2013-10-25 07:39:15 PM

MrHappyRotter: Hep not, lest ye' be hepped.


You just can't hep yourself with the puns, can you?
 
2013-10-25 07:43:44 PM
Why was he not vacanated for hep a and b I thout that most people are or is it a state by state thing ?
 
2013-10-25 07:45:20 PM

HairBolus: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: The diocese says he contracted the infection through contaminated food while attending a conference for newly ordained bishops in Italy last month.

Riiiiiiiiight...

hepatitis A virus (HAV),[1] an RNA virus, usually spread by the fecal-oral route

He went to Italy to brown nose the Cardinals and all he got was that lousy virus.


OralFecal Route is the name of my Dave Mathews cover band.
 
2013-10-25 07:58:22 PM
Cause everyone drinking from the same cup is farking disgusting.
 
2013-10-25 08:16:02 PM

State_College_Arsonist: The common-cup style of communion is icky.  My church always used individual half-ounce shot glasses.


I can picture the church members doing keg stands on the baptismal font and trying to bounce ping pong balls into the chalice.
 
2013-10-25 08:27:40 PM

cardex: Why was he not vacanated for hep a and b I thout that most people are or is it a state by state thing ?


Because God loves us.
 
2013-10-25 08:28:09 PM

jmsvrsn: State_College_Arsonist: The common-cup style of communion is icky.  My church always used individual half-ounce shot glasses.

I can picture the church members doing keg stands on the baptismal font and trying to bounce ping pong balls into the chalice.


The kids always took the wine like it was a shot of whiskey, but that's probably no surprise.  The one pastor always downed the wine that remained in the chalice at the end.  Seeing him chug always amused me.
 
2013-10-25 08:43:24 PM
There's a commercially available solution to preventing transmission at communion.
directory.ac4

Although... Part of Snow Crash was about the idea that religion had it's roots in spreading a mind controlling contagion.

Or you could just realize that it's all bullshiat.
 
2013-10-25 09:02:36 PM
*scans headline*

*closes eyes*


i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-25 09:14:38 PM

State_College_Arsonist: The common-cup style of communion is icky.  My church always used individual half-ounce shot glasses.


Catholics can't.  Or at least, aren't supposed to.
 
2013-10-25 09:18:25 PM
s24.postimg.org

s12.postimg.org
 
2013-10-25 09:20:10 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: State_College_Arsonist: The common-cup style of communion is icky.  My church always used individual half-ounce shot glasses.

Catholics can't.  Or at least, aren't supposed to.


How about bottles for everyone?
 
2013-10-25 09:21:38 PM
Can't he just rebuke the spirit of hepatitis?
 
2013-10-25 09:21:41 PM

wildcardjack: There's a commercially available solution to preventing transmission at communion.
[directory.ac image 400x288]4

Although... Part of Snow Crash was about the idea that religion had it's roots in spreading a mind controlling contagion.

Or you could just realize that it's all bullshiat.


a little bread, a little wine .... that's a nice little snack.

when I used to take communion, I would drink half the communion wine
 
2013-10-25 09:32:37 PM

99.998er: Can't he just rebuke the spirit of hepatitis?



stream1.gifsoup.com

"Yes....Yes he can!"
 
2013-10-25 09:39:01 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
"You talk about ancient beauty and life forms, but if you asked me you wouldn't know real beauty if it was outside in the parking lot waiting to give you hepatitis. Which it will be ten minutes from now."

/really...no one posted this
//Couldn't find a quality version on a non sketchy site
 
2013-10-25 11:09:13 PM

99.998er: Can't he just rebuke the spirit of hepatitis?


Hey now, Catholics actually believe in science.

Except where it concerns using condoms.
 
2013-10-25 11:45:25 PM

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: 99.998er: Can't he just rebuke the spirit of hepatitis?

Hey now, Catholics actually believe in science.

Except where it concerns using condoms.


Or impregnation of virgins. Or miracles. Or evidence of magical beings in the sky.
 
2013-10-25 11:52:08 PM
imageshack.us
 
2013-10-26 01:26:16 AM
Headline of the year candidate
 
2013-10-26 08:23:47 AM

State_College_Arsonist: The common-cup style of communion is icky.  My church always used individual half-ounce shot glasses.


Our church uses the "rip 'n dip" method, aka intinction.  The preacher rips off a little hunk of bread from the loaf he's holding and hands it to you, and you dip it in the cup of "wine" (sadly, being a Methodist church, it's just grape juice) so you can receive both the Body and the Blood at the same time.

They use hand-sanitizer before handling the bread, so it should be all fine, unless some jerk ahead of you dips his whole hand in the cup to sop up as much as he can.  Luckily our congregation seems to have decent table manners.
 
2013-10-26 09:31:41 AM
You talk about piousness, but you people wouldn't know piety if it was in the parking lot waiting to give you Hepatitus. Which it will be in about 10 minutes.
 
2013-10-26 09:32:28 AM

drdonks: "You talk about ancient beauty and life forms, but if you asked me you wouldn't know real beauty if it was outside in the parking lot waiting to give you hepatitis. Which it will be ten minutes from now."

/really...no one posted this
//Couldn't find a quality version on a non sketchy site


Dammit
/shakes fist
 
2013-10-26 03:03:26 PM

Mouser: State_College_Arsonist: The common-cup style of communion is icky.  My church always used individual half-ounce shot glasses.

Our church uses the "rip 'n dip" method, aka intinction.  The preacher rips off a little hunk of bread from the loaf he's holding and hands it to you, and you dip it in the cup of "wine" (sadly, being a Methodist church, it's just grape juice) so you can receive both the Body and the Blood at the same time.

They use hand-sanitizer before handling the bread, so it should be all fine, unless some jerk ahead of you dips his whole hand in the cup to sop up as much as he can.  Luckily our congregation seems to have decent table manners.


At least it's better than what passes for communion in pentecostal (and particularly "NARasite neopente into Prosperity Gospel bullshiat") churches--that is, when they can be arsed to have communion at ALL (it's actually somewhat uncommon for there to be regular communion in the manner of Catholic or Episcopalian/Anglican/CoE churches, you might see it once a month if there's a high percentage of Hispanics in the congregation).

Pretty much "communion" in these churches often consists of--I shiat you not--pretty much oyster crackers and Welch's grape juice; if it's a really high-roller neopente church you might see them distribute teeny-tiny communion crackers about the size of a Zyrtec tablet or an Advil, but more often than not it's good old oyster crackers.  (I seriously think that the NARasite megachurch I was forced to attend in my younger days spent MORE money in "Bible tours" to Israel to buy up a mess of out-of-circulation 1-agora coins to schlep to their parishoners as "widow's mites" (to encourage the "seed faith offerings" where folks would give above and beyond the mandatory Ten Percent) than they spent on actual communion supplies.  Hell, I half suspect they spent more on the out-of-circulation 1-agora pieces than the communion wafers and grape juice, and that's taking into account that Israel was redenominating about once every three years in the 80s thanks to a spot of hyperinflation.)

Southern Baptists also pretty much have communion only about once a month, and--much like neopentes--pretty much the "communion" is of the oyster-crackers-and-Welch's variety.

And Prosperity Gospel NARasites and Southern Baptists are GENEROUS compared to, well, OTHER churches trending towards some serious religionationalist tendencies.  There are some Protestant groups in the dominionist movement that MIGHT have communion once a season--if at all.

/one of the worst beatings that I got as a kid was when I played "communion" at the age of five with the oyster crackers and grape juice in the house...but I was just imitatin' the pastor ;_;
//did not even know that specific communion wine and specific communion wafers were a THING until well in my thirties and I saw them in religious supplies catalogues...long after I'd stopped being "practicing" as far as Christianity went
 
2013-10-26 03:17:27 PM
Also, as a bit of additional commentary--pretty much the standard method of dispensing the Welch's for "communion" is (usually, anyways) those itty-bitty half-shot container things that look like they should be tiny plastic containers for tiny votive candles.  At least they don't generally resort to the Dixie Cup...
 
2013-10-26 04:40:38 PM
The transubstantiation of the butthole.
 
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