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(Right Wing Watch)   Pat Robertson advises mother to heal her son by "rebuking the spirit of deafness." Still no rebuke for the spirit of cancerness   (rightwingwatch.org) divider line 122
    More: Asinine, Pat Robertson  
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2833 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2013 at 7:28 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



122 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-24 06:30:54 PM
If there was a god, he or she would rebuke the spirit of Pat Robertson. And then buke on it all over again.
 
2013-10-24 06:31:20 PM
Dear God, please take Pat in the night. He's one of your guys. He talks about you all the time.

Please, let his prayers come true and whisk him away to his home in heaven, AWAY from us on Earth?

In your name I pray, rAmen.
 
2013-10-24 06:36:49 PM
So it's like her fault then?
 
2013-10-24 06:38:48 PM
Nor for the spirits of amputation or physical deformity. Those never seem to get prayed to health.
 
2013-10-24 06:40:44 PM

BKITU: Nor for the spirits of amputation or physical deformity. Those never seem to get prayed to health.


According to some denominational beliefs, like Christian Science, those were punishments from God because of their sin.
 
2013-10-24 06:43:24 PM
Why in hell aren't people like this in lockup on a thorazine drip?
 
2013-10-24 06:47:36 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Why in hell aren't people like this in lockup on a thorazine drip?


Because Jesus.  If it's done in the name of Christianity, it pretty-much gets a pass.
 
2013-10-24 06:48:43 PM
I call him Shmat Robertson because I have a speech impediment.

I shmebuke thee.
 
2013-10-24 06:53:32 PM
media.giphy.com
 
2013-10-24 06:54:20 PM
With the shiat he claims to believe, Pat Robertson makes a half naked prancing witch doctor shaking a skull on a stick seem like an erudite Northeastern intellectual.
 
2013-10-24 07:02:09 PM
I'm surprised he didn't tell her God struck her kid deaf because gay people.
 
2013-10-24 07:14:13 PM
In my career, I've seen three kids that came to me for a new hearing test after being "healed".

I'll grant you it's a small sample size, but none of them had any change in their hearing.

Nor have I ever seen a case study in a professional audiology journal documenting a case of deafness being cured.  And trust me, any audiologist who saw someone's hearing restored would write it up.
 
2013-10-24 07:30:43 PM
That's some great leadership you got there.  Jesus, no wonder the Christian flock is lost.
 
2013-10-24 07:30:54 PM
C'mon Pat. Everyone knows the spirit of deafness can't hear you.
 
2013-10-24 07:32:02 PM
Stop praying about your child's deafness, Child protective services are on the way.
 
2013-10-24 07:32:17 PM
I used to be deaf, dumb, blind and stupid.  I prayed and prayed and now I'm no longer deaf and blind.
 
2013-10-24 07:33:55 PM
Wrong religion, lady. Whatcha got there is whadaya call some bad thetans. For just a thousand bucks or so, Scientology will cure that boy right up.
 
2013-10-24 07:34:13 PM
If it doesn't work, do it again louder.
 
2013-10-24 07:35:38 PM
Man, what a crummy spirit job. There are so many cooler spirit vocations, and that poor shmuck got deafness. What do you even do? Just go around making people unable to hear? What a sh*tty gig.
 
2013-10-24 07:35:41 PM
I was going to comment, but somebody rebuked my spirit of giving-a-shiat-what-lunatics-say.
 
2013-10-24 07:35:47 PM

MayoSlather: If there was a god, he or she would rebuke the spirit of Pat Robertson. And then buke on it all over again.


That pretty much says it all right there.
 
2013-10-24 07:36:14 PM
Religion == Child Abuse.
 
2013-10-24 07:37:21 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Why in hell aren't people like this in lockup on a thorazine drip?


How do we know that Pat isn't actually hooked up to a keg of Thorazine and crack? Everything he says is rambling and incoherent. If I'd never heard of him before, I would have assumed that he had been allowed to ingest some dangerous, mind-altering drugs.
 
2013-10-24 07:37:32 PM
Try signing at the spirit. It probably can't hear you.

/Pat should be in a home somewhere
 
2013-10-24 07:37:32 PM
i would have told the mother looking for advice to accept her child as he/she is.

deaf people rock! they are slightly better than people with all 5 senses intact .

& Pat Robertson is proof there is no God, what God would let this....man (for lack of a better word) represent him to the masses of shiat-for-brains jackasses?
 
2013-10-24 07:39:09 PM

MrHappyRotter: I used to be deaf, dumb, blind and stupid.  I prayed and prayed and now I'm no longer deaf and blind.


cbskool2.files.wordpress.com

Yeah, but can you still play pinball?
 
2013-10-24 07:41:21 PM
www.thegloss.com
static.freepik.com


/Oblig
 
2013-10-24 07:42:19 PM
Your dog wants steakness.
 
2013-10-24 07:43:55 PM
I had a deaf buddy, turns out his father was deaf (didn't ask about his mother) & so was his son!

I didn't know it was hereditary until that day.
 
2013-10-24 07:44:10 PM
Rebuke this, motherfarker.

*grabs spirit of the crotchness*
 
2013-10-24 07:44:48 PM

MayoSlather: If there was a god, he or she would rebuke the spirit of Pat Robertson. And then buke on it all over again.


Rebukake?
 
2013-10-24 07:45:37 PM
I advise America to heal itself by rebuking the spirit of Pat Robertsoness.
 
2013-10-24 07:46:26 PM
WAT???
 
2013-10-24 07:48:24 PM
I've rebuked the spirit of stupidity, but Pat Robertson is still around saying stupid things.  I'm not too convinced this "rebuking" thing really works.
 
2013-10-24 07:50:36 PM

Isitoveryet: i would have told the mother looking for advice to accept her child as he/she is.

deaf people rock! they are slightly better than people with all 5 senses intact .

& Pat Robertson is proof there is no God, what God would let this....man (for lack of a better word) represent him to the masses of shiat-for-brains jackasses?


So that when Pat finally collapses from Alzheimer's, he can float gently towards heaven, see the infinite beauty of His work... And then be cast into the fire for being a false prophet.
Really, I kind of feel bad for him. At the end of the day, Pats just a sad old man, lost in a world he doesn't recognize.
 
2013-10-24 07:50:59 PM

Raoul Eaton: I've rebuked the spirit of stupidity, but Pat Robertson is still around saying stupid things.  I'm not too convinced this "rebuking" thing really works.


Keep trying! It would be pretty damn funny if Pat were run over by a church bus, or struck by lightning or carried off in a tornado.
Not that , , , you know . . . that would be a thing I'd wish for or was even for one second secretly imagining.
 
2013-10-24 07:51:34 PM
Look, people have been praying to be healed from ailments for a lot longer than there have been "science" and "hospitals." I bet more people have been healed through prayer in the hundreds of thousands of years they have been doing it, versus those healed in the couple hundred years modern medical care has going for it!

I think that speaks for itself.

If science was so great, why didn't God give it to us a long time ago?

And, of course, I mean to Christians, not to those other religions.
 
2013-10-24 07:53:20 PM
I want a thread dedicated to all the random crazy shiat I say at the local watering hole.
 
2013-10-24 07:56:01 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Why in hell aren't people like this in lockup on a thorazine drip?


If a person hears voices, they put him on antipsychotics.  If a person hears Jesus, they give him a church and a flock.
 
2013-10-24 07:58:06 PM
www.funny-jokes.net

To be fair, rebuking the spirit of deafness is probably among the least stupid things Pat Robertson has said.
 
2013-10-24 07:58:41 PM
The other day, I was having a discussion with someone who had the opinion that all people with any sort of religion, ESPECIALLY Christianity, were deluded fools.

It was long, but very civil; we came to an understanding of one another's views. We both learned a lesson in respecting our fellow sophonts.

I'd been wondering why many are so vicious and rude towards Christians, or why me saying I believe in God lead someone to say "Oh yeah? My God is your gallon of milk. I FARKED IT THIS MORNING!!"

Then I read crap like this...
 
2013-10-24 08:04:08 PM
I SAID "I REBUKE YOU!"
 
2013-10-24 08:04:49 PM

gilgigamesh: With the shiat he claims to believe, Pat Robertson makes a half naked prancing witch doctor shaking a skull on a stick seem like an erudite Northeastern intellectual.


img.photobucket.com

ARISE, CHICKEN!

/and prepare to be farked senseless
 
2013-10-24 08:06:08 PM

Danger Avoid Death: C'mon Pat. Everyone knows the spirit of deafness can't hear you.


My hat is off to you sir.
 
2013-10-24 08:06:43 PM

Danger Avoid Death: [www.funny-jokes.net image 444x560]

To be fair, rebuking the spirit of deafness is probably among the least stupid things Pat Robertson has said.


And that doesn't even have the Goodwill demons and the gay AIDS rings on it.
 
2013-10-24 08:11:01 PM
ilawled.com
/oblig
 
2013-10-24 08:13:05 PM

0z79: The other day, I was having a discussion with someone who had the opinion that all people with any sort of religion, ESPECIALLY Christianity, were deluded fools.

It was long, but very civil; we came to an understanding of one another's views. We both learned a lesson in respecting our fellow sophonts.

I'd been wondering why many are so vicious and rude towards Christians, or why me saying I believe in God lead someone to say "Oh yeah? My God is your gallon of milk. I FARKED IT THIS MORNING!!"

Then I read crap like this...


You and cibediro would have fun talking. I've learned that not all christians are like the loud crazy judgmental and extremist types, and I feel for ya because those are the ones people think of, I know I had to accept my parents coming out as christian, at least they are in a sane small church.
 
2013-10-24 08:15:09 PM
hisvorpal.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-24 08:31:28 PM
*snert*

Oh wow. So when my grandma says that she's "senile" and "needs to be be put down."

When Pat does it he's ...okay, well, I guess the same.
 
2013-10-24 08:34:44 PM
My ex could have avoided the 2 cochlear implants if she prayed harder? What a waste of Ontario taxpayers' money putting those devices in her head! I supposed she wouldn't have retinitis pigmentosa if she prayed more and wasting more dollars in research into stem cell and electronic retinal implants?

That's it - she coulda been hearing and sighted rather than the bionic woman? :) I dunno, the bionic woman thing is kinda cool.
 
2013-10-24 08:35:15 PM
img13.imageshack.us

I think I've heard this sermon before.
 
2013-10-24 08:40:08 PM

Danger Avoid Death: C'mon Pat. Everyone knows the spirit of deafness can't hear you.


simple, yet perfect.
 
2013-10-24 08:44:15 PM

Raoul Eaton: I've rebuked the spirit of stupidity, but Pat Robertson is still around saying stupid things.  I'm not too convinced this "rebuking" thing really works.


www.cs.cmu.edu
 
2013-10-24 08:44:22 PM

Hector Remarkable: Wrong religion, lady. Whatcha got there is whadaya call some bad thetans. For just a

ten thousand bucks or so, Scientology will cure that boy right up charge you another ten thousand bucks.
 
2013-10-24 08:48:11 PM
And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." --Mark 9:25

/I didn't write this
//I plagiarized
 
2013-10-24 08:50:04 PM
He said enter.......

/sorry
 
2013-10-24 08:50:40 PM
Rebuking evil spirits is something only evil clerics do.  Good aligned clerics turn or destroy undead.  If Pat's going around rebuking spirits, it doesn't speak well for his position on the alignment grid.
 
2013-10-24 09:08:47 PM

SavageWombat: Rebuking evil spirits is something only evil clerics do.  Good aligned clerics turn or destroy undead.  If Pat's going around rebuking spirits, it doesn't speak well for his position on the alignment grid.


Chaotic, Neutral, or Lawful? We need specifics here.
 
2013-10-24 09:09:23 PM
I accidentally the whole thing. Yes.

What?

Where am I?
 
2013-10-24 09:17:54 PM

megarian: I accidentally the whole thing. Yes.

What?

Where am I?


The whole thing?

Oh, and I'd tell you are but I don't wanna scare you : )

/Although your state is closer to okaying gay marriage than mine.
//So, just let me know when to show up with a flatbed trailer-truck with 2 Bobcats on it, and I'll propose marriage : )
 
2013-10-24 09:23:34 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: I accidentally the whole thing. Yes.

What?

Where am I?

The whole thing?

Oh, and I'd tell you are but I don't wanna scare you : )

/Although your state is closer to okaying gay marriage than mine.
//So, just let me know when to show up with a flatbed trailer-truck with 2 Bobcats on it, and I'll propose marriage : )


We're about the gay the shiat out of this state. The Supreme Court said "OH FFS, whatever the DC court said. Then we'll pass shiat because the marihuana laws confused us."

WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited
 
2013-10-24 09:43:32 PM

Your Hind Brain: SavageWombat: Rebuking evil spirits is something only evil clerics do.  Good aligned clerics turn or destroy undead.  If Pat's going around rebuking spirits, it doesn't speak well for his position on the alignment grid.

Chaotic, Neutral, or Lawful? We need specifics here.


He's true neutral cos he's only in it for the money. Uses both law SND chaos for his own ends, doesn't really want to do good but doesn't go out of his way to hurt anyone either.

BTW from the Christian perspective, doesn't "rebuking" suggest he thinks deafness is caused by demonic possession? Cuz... um... aren't demons supposed to possess people to make them do evil and turn them from god? And how is being deaf leading deaf people away from god?
 
2013-10-24 09:46:15 PM
0z79:  I'd been wondering why many are so vicious and rude towards Christians, or why me saying I believe in God lead someone to say "Oh yeah? My God is your gallon of milk. I FARKED IT THIS MORNING!!"

Then I read crap like this...



I'm not sure I've ever heard the atheist argument of GOD= Milk + Sexual intercourse before...
 
2013-10-24 09:46:22 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Your Hind Brain: SavageWombat: Rebuking evil spirits is something only evil clerics do.  Good aligned clerics turn or destroy undead.  If Pat's going around rebuking spirits, it doesn't speak well for his position on the alignment grid.

Chaotic, Neutral, or Lawful? We need specifics here.

He's true neutral cos he's only in it for the money. Uses both law SND chaos for his own ends, doesn't really want to do good but doesn't go out of his way to hurt anyone either.

BTW from the Christian perspective, doesn't "rebuking" suggest he thinks deafness is caused by demonic possession? Cuz... um... aren't demons supposed to possess people to make them do evil and turn them from god? And how is being deaf leading deaf people away from god?


They can't hear him coming.  And you know what happens when deities sneak up on a person?  They get shot.
 
2013-10-24 09:46:35 PM
Oddly, he doesn't seem to claim as much power of prayer to cure  Downs Syndrome victims.  Wonder why?
 
2013-10-24 09:47:16 PM

Isitoveryet: i would have told the mother looking for advice to accept her child as he/she is.

deaf people rock! they are slightly better than people with all 5 senses intact .

& Pat Robertson is proof there is no God, what God would let this....man (for lack of a better word) represent him to the masses of shiat-for-brains jackasses?


i could not agree more! do you sign?
 
2013-10-24 09:50:19 PM

Isitoveryet: I had a deaf buddy, turns out his father was deaf (didn't ask about his mother) & so was his son!

I didn't know it was hereditary until that day.


Actually, it ususally isn't. Only 10% of Deaf people are born to deaf adults.
 
2013-10-24 09:52:23 PM
Well, Pat knows he's full of crap.

Otherwise, he wouldn't have said this:

"I have dealt with people who are deaf and you rebuke the spirit of deafness and they get healed," Robertson said. "I don't know what you're doing wrong."
"Why don't you try that and if it doesn't work, try something else," he said.
  If it doesn't work....try something that does work. BRILLIANT!

(Oh, but be sure to credit the god thing that didn't work. Because you know, god.)
 
2013-10-24 09:52:31 PM
I know a girl who has cerebral palsy and has been in a wheelchair since she was little.  She told me one the most difficult things about it was dealing with the people that tell her if she prayed harder or her faith was strong enough, she could get out of that chair.  Then they tell her they will pray for her since she's obviously doing it wrong.


//She's far too polite to tell them to get farked.  I am not.
 
2013-10-24 09:53:29 PM
What about the spirit of siphoning charity money to run your blood diamond mine, Pat?
 
2013-10-24 09:54:53 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: And how is being deaf leading deaf people away from god?


Braille bibles seem like they would be really hard to read.
 
2013-10-24 09:58:04 PM

notyomama: I know a girl who has cerebral palsy and has been in a wheelchair since she was little.  She told me one the most difficult things about it was dealing with the people that tell her if she prayed harder or her faith was strong enough, she could get out of that chair.  Then they tell her they will pray for her since she's obviously doing it wrong.


//She's far too polite to tell them to get farked.  I am not.


Throw in an extra one for me.
 
2013-10-24 10:01:15 PM
content.altfonts.com:81
 
2013-10-24 10:02:24 PM

kidsizedcoffin: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: And how is being deaf leading deaf people away from god?

Braille bibles seem like they would be really hard to read.


You almost had me there but braille is for blind people.

And yes, using braille makes for sensitive fingers, which leads to masturbation therefore blindness is caused by demons. See, I can understand that, but the deafness thing?
 
2013-10-24 10:04:05 PM

notyomama: I know a girl who has cerebral palsy and has been in a wheelchair since she was little.  She told me one the most difficult things about it was dealing with the people that tell her if she prayed harder or her faith was strong enough, she could get out of that chair.  Then they tell her they will pray for her since she's obviously doing it wrong.


//She's far too polite to tell them to get farked.  I am not.




That just brought up a whole bunch of bad memories.

I'm handicapped, spent a lot of my childhood in body cast, wheelchairs and walkers. Once, when I was 9, I was grocery shopping with my mom in a wheelchair.

My mom went to the baker counter to get the cake we had ordered, so I hung back away from the crowded area.

Two little old blue haired ladies came up to me and aske "Well what was your sin, little boy"

"I'm sorry mam?"

"Well, you are obviously in that wheelchair because you disobeyed your parents and got hurt"

"No, I was born like this"

"Oh, so it's your parents sin, we will pray for you"

Fortunately, I was Catholic at the time, and we were taught by Jesuits that science determines illness and God doesn't punish people that way.

Then of course I became an Atheist about 10 years later.
 
2013-10-24 10:06:24 PM
I attended university that was located in the Bible Belt. One of my friends was wheelchair-bound due to spina bifida (a congenital disease) and some religious fundamentalist approached her and stated that she wouldn't be in a wheelchair if she'd had more faith.
 
2013-10-24 10:11:45 PM

0z79: The other day, I was having a discussion with someone who had the opinion that all people with any sort of religion, ESPECIALLY Christianity, were deluded fools.

It was long, but very civil; we came to an understanding of one another's views. We both learned a lesson in respecting our fellow sophonts.

I'd been wondering why many are so vicious and rude towards Christians, or why me saying I believe in God lead someone to say "Oh yeah? My God is your gallon of milk. I FARKED IT THIS MORNING!!"

Then I read crap like this...


If it helps, I definitely don't blame Christians or Christianity for Pat Robertson. Being a false prophet has always been a really good gig when the actual God doesn't smite them, and it seems God's not been bothering much with that these days.
 
2013-10-24 10:13:27 PM

aevorea: I attended university that was located in the Bible Belt. One of my friends was wheelchair-bound due to spina bifida (a congenital disease) and some religious fundamentalist approached her and stated that she wouldn't be in a wheelchair if she'd had more faith.


It would be funny to take a hammer to the fundie's kneecaps, then ask them to demonstrate this faith overcoming physical injury thing.
 
2013-10-24 10:19:49 PM

megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited


Very cool, good to hear.
 
2013-10-24 10:23:12 PM
What a crazy dipshiat. Recently I read that there was going to be a documentary exposing him allegedly using an airplane from his African charity to transport equipment for his diamond mining business there. Last I heard/read he threatened legal action against those behind the documentary and I haven't heard a word since. I was so hoping it was true. Crazy f*ck.
 
2013-10-24 10:23:59 PM
 
2013-10-24 10:27:05 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.


Baby steps. Not with actual babies.
 
2013-10-24 10:29:59 PM
This is why I don't understand why religious people get upset when I refer to this stuff as magic.

Do you believe in spirits? Can they be rebuked? This rebuking is some kind of magic spell, right? They don't just leave because you ask them to, right?

Turning water into wine, flying chariots into heaven, walking on water, parting seas - none follow the laws of physics therefore they are magic. These are in your religions ... why does it offend you to call them what they are??
 
2013-10-24 10:32:12 PM
IF it worked that way EVERY hospital would be empty and there would be no atheists. Want to rebuke the deafness? Fine as soon as you are done with that see a medical specialist.
 
2013-10-24 10:34:26 PM

megarian: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Baby steps. Not with actual babies.


...but why?

/Off to Amazon to find baby shaped slippers.
 
2013-10-24 10:39:40 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.


Oh, great. Don't you know Pat said now we're going to have meteor strikes, alien invasions, typhoons and even dandruff? Because of you gay people out there being all gay!

If you're any gayer, who knows what could happen next! Let's find out!
 
2013-10-24 10:42:23 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Baby steps. Not with actual babies.

...but why?

/Off to Amazon to find baby shaped slippers.


Because their intestines make my toes feel weird. And gay. Weird and gay. Weirday.
 
2013-10-24 10:45:29 PM
Oh, and I would like to recommend making a kickstarter fund for Pat Robertson I mean he pulls so many things out of his ass it's gotta get uncomfortable, if everyone could chip in and help we could give him this.

: )
 
2013-10-24 10:49:03 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Your Hind Brain: SavageWombat: Rebuking evil spirits is something only evil clerics do.  Good aligned clerics turn or destroy undead.  If Pat's going around rebuking spirits, it doesn't speak well for his position on the alignment grid.

Chaotic, Neutral, or Lawful? We need specifics here.

He's true neutral cos he's only in it for the money. Uses both law SND chaos for his own ends, doesn't really want to do good but doesn't go out of his way to hurt anyone either.

BTW from the Christian perspective, doesn't "rebuking" suggest he thinks deafness is caused by demonic possession? Cuz... um... aren't demons supposed to possess people to make them do evil and turn them from god? And how is being deaf leading deaf people away from god?


Ahhh Yes. That does make sense. Kinda makes me think that neutral/neutral is the truest of evil, maybe like the idea of heaven and hell having a third party called the abyss. Cool concept. Also remember:

Your Hind Brain: And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." --Mark 9:25

/Buy Namaste products now or you go to that fourth party.
//23 sided die included

 
2013-10-24 10:49:44 PM
Obligatory (or start from the beginning if you want the intro.)
 
2013-10-24 10:49:48 PM

Gyrfalcon: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Oh, great. Don't you know Pat said now we're going to have meteor strikes, alien invasions, typhoons and even dandruff? Because of you gay people out there being all gay!

If you're any gayer, who knows what could happen next! Let's find out!


Does this mean we're not still on for a poly marriage when everyone is forced to gay marry?

/Shuck's, hangs head, kicks dirt : (
 
2013-10-24 10:51:40 PM

megarian: Because their intestines make my toes feel weird. And gay. Weird and gay. Weirday.


Well that makes sense, besides you could slip and fall I hear babies don't have much traction as footwear.
 
2013-10-24 10:52:12 PM

Gyrfalcon: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Oh, great. Don't you know Pat said now we're going to have meteor strikes, alien invasions, typhoons and even dandruff? Because of you gay people out there being all gay!

If you're any gayer, who knows what could happen next! Let's find out!



I'm gay enough to start a typhoon all by my little ol' self!
 
2013-10-24 11:02:20 PM

ciberido: I'm gay enough to start a typhoon all by my little ol' self!


Meh, I'm sure it's my fault this happened and if the New Madrid ever goes I'm sure it will be my fault.

: )
 
2013-10-24 11:06:05 PM

Farking Canuck: These are in your religions ... why does it offend you to call them what they are??


They also overwhelmingly deny astrology, yet overwhelmingly accept that the birth of their king was announced by a star and that the star was correctly interpreted by a bunch of "wise men".  By magic and astrology, they mean pagan magic and pagan astrology.  That is, the distinction is not made based on the nature of the thing, but instead on whose group the ritual belongs to.  They ignore that pagan magic worked almost as well as their own in scripture.
 
2013-10-24 11:24:48 PM

falkone32: Farking Canuck: These are in your religions ... why does it offend you to call them what they are??

They also overwhelmingly deny astrology, yet overwhelmingly accept that the birth of their king was announced by a star and that the star was correctly interpreted by a bunch of "wise men".  By magic and astrology, they mean pagan magic and pagan astrology.  That is, the distinction is not made based on the nature of the thing, but instead on whose group the ritual belongs to.  They ignore that pagan magic worked almost as well as their own in scripture.


I remember one "smug and self-assured atheist" article pointing out that praying is basically casting a spell - it's just doing so via an authorized supernatural power.

There's actually an old computer RPG called Darklands that actually made this explicit - it was set in a version of medieval Europe in which black magic and alchemy actually worked, and your party could include priests that could call upon the saints for tangible benefits. Of course, all good Robertson fans know that praying to saints is idolatry, but still.
 
2013-10-24 11:38:54 PM

Richard C Stanford: Isitoveryet: i would have told the mother looking for advice to accept her child as he/she is.

deaf people rock! they are slightly better than people with all 5 senses intact .

& Pat Robertson is proof there is no God, what God would let this....man (for lack of a better word) represent him to the masses of shiat-for-brains jackasses?

So that when Pat finally collapses from Alzheimer's, he can float gently towards heaven, see the infinite beauty of His work... And then be cast into the fire for being a false prophet.
Really, I kind of feel bad for him. At the end of the day, Pats just a sad old man, lost in a world he doesn't recognize.


And he spends a lot of time worrying about sex with ducks.
 
2013-10-24 11:48:42 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Gyrfalcon: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Oh, great. Don't you know Pat said now we're going to have meteor strikes, alien invasions, typhoons and even dandruff? Because of you gay people out there being all gay!

If you're any gayer, who knows what could happen next! Let's find out!

Does this mean we're not still on for a poly marriage when everyone is forced to gay marry?

/Shuck's, hangs head, kicks dirt : (


Oh, yes, especially after I checked out that 55-gal. drum of lube.

I'm almost afraid to ask how you find these things. Afraid, but more excited.
 
2013-10-24 11:53:39 PM
NutWrench:

Keep trying! It would be pretty damn funny if Pat were run over by a church bus, or struck by lightning

A gent I went to school with eventually became an efficiency expert. He got knocked down when crossing a street two or three years ago -- by an ambulance.
 
2013-10-24 11:57:01 PM

Gyrfalcon: Oh, yes, especially after I checked out that 55-gal. drum of lube.

I'm almost afraid to ask how you find these things. Afraid, but more excited.


Um, would you believe me if I said a friend told me about it?
/Oh, yea check out the comments on it. The earlier ones were best. Trust me ; )
 
2013-10-25 12:12:10 AM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Gyrfalcon: Oh, yes, especially after I checked out that 55-gal. drum of lube.

I'm almost afraid to ask how you find these things. Afraid, but more excited.

Um, would you believe me if I said a friend told me about it?
/Oh, yea check out the comments on it. The earlier ones were best. Trust me ; )


No.

And I always trust you, but the safe word is "Stop you crazy biatch!"
 
2013-10-25 12:13:17 AM

MayoSlather: If there was a god, he or she would rebuke the spirit of Pat Robertson. And then buke on it all over again.


This may have already happened. He may be a shade, sent back here to teach us about gullibility. Poor bastard has his work cut out, doesn't he?
 
2013-10-25 12:15:44 AM
Its not going to work, the spirit of deafness can't hear it.
 
2013-10-25 12:15:45 AM

gilgigamesh: With the shiat he claims to believe, Pat Robertson makes a half naked prancing witch doctor shaking a skull on a stick seem like an erudite Northeastern intellectual.


I just pictured a not-dead William F. Buckley at the Republican National Convention, drolly attired.
 
2013-10-25 12:24:41 AM

Darth_Lukecash: 0z79:  I'd been wondering why many are so vicious and rude towards Christians, or why me saying I believe in God lead someone to say "Oh yeah? My God is your gallon of milk. I FARKED IT THIS MORNING!!"

Then I read crap like this...


I'm not sure I've ever heard the atheist argument of GOD= Milk + Sexual intercourse before...


The person involved was just trying to be as crude and vulgar as possible.

They then spent 15 minutes calling me every kind of deluded fool, with their close friends laughing at my expense, with a grand finale of "FARK YOUR "GOD"!!!"

All I said was "Yes, I do believe in Jesus Christ as my savior."

They asked....
 
2013-10-25 12:26:11 AM

Gyrfalcon: tinfoil-hat maggie: Gyrfalcon: Oh, yes, especially after I checked out that 55-gal. drum of lube.

I'm almost afraid to ask how you find these things. Afraid, but more excited.

Um, would you believe me if I said a friend told me about it?
/Oh, yea check out the comments on it. The earlier ones were best. Trust me ; )

No.

And I always trust you, but the safe word is "Stop you crazy biatch!"


Yes, but have you checked out the comments yet? Just look for Jerome Albertson.
/Have fun : )
 
2013-10-25 12:46:57 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-25 01:14:50 AM

0z79: Darth_Lukecash: 0z79:  I'd been wondering why many are so vicious and rude towards Christians, or why me saying I believe in God lead someone to say "Oh yeah? My God is your gallon of milk. I FARKED IT THIS MORNING!!"

Then I read crap like this...


I'm not sure I've ever heard the atheist argument of GOD= Milk + Sexual intercourse before...

The person involved was just trying to be as crude and vulgar as possible.

They then spent 15 minutes calling me every kind of deluded fool, with their close friends laughing at my expense, with a grand finale of "FARK YOUR "GOD"!!!"

All I said was "Yes, I do believe in Jesus Christ as my savior."

They asked....


Wow, people like that sicken me. If they were born into the Westboro Cult Clan they would feel fine doing something similar just to different people. I hate extremist of any kind and the people that are willing to exchange ideas there cool in my book.
 
2013-10-25 01:18:21 AM

hardinparamedic: BKITU: Nor for the spirits of amputation or physical deformity. Those never seem to get prayed to health.

According to some denominational beliefs, like Christian Science, those were punishments from God because of their sin.


But if they are born that way how did they have a chance to sin? Was it a pre-emotive strike?
 
2013-10-25 01:32:02 AM

Isitoveryet: i would have told the mother looking for advice to accept her child as he/she is.

deaf people rock! they are slightly better than people with all 5 senses intact .

& Pat Robertson is proof there is no God, what God would let this....man (for lack of a better word) represent him to the masses of shiat-for-brains jackasses?


Maybe god has a sense of humor?
 
2013-10-25 01:33:09 AM
He's just telling her not to be deafeatist.
 
2013-10-25 01:36:34 AM

F*CK OFF AND DIE IN A F*CKING FIRE, ASSHOLE, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING DEAF.

 
2013-10-25 02:14:09 AM

megarian: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Baby steps. Not with actual babies.

...but why?

/Off to Amazon to find baby shaped slippers.

Because their intestines make my toes feel weird. And gay. Weird and gay. Weirday.



Weregay? Is that where you turn gay when there's a full moon?
 
2013-10-25 02:25:51 AM
Pat Robertson:  Biggest asshole alive, or biggest asshole ever?
 
2013-10-25 02:43:07 AM

Mithiwithi: falkone32: Farking Canuck: These are in your religions ... why does it offend you to call them what they are??

They also overwhelmingly deny astrology, yet overwhelmingly accept that the birth of their king was announced by a star and that the star was correctly interpreted by a bunch of "wise men".  By magic and astrology, they mean pagan magic and pagan astrology.  That is, the distinction is not made based on the nature of the thing, but instead on whose group the ritual belongs to.  They ignore that pagan magic worked almost as well as their own in scripture.

I remember one "smug and self-assured atheist" article pointing out that praying is basically casting a spell - it's just doing so via an authorized supernatural power.

There's actually an old computer RPG called Darklands that actually made this explicit - it was set in a version of medieval Europe in which black magic and alchemy actually worked, and your party could include priests that could call upon the saints for tangible benefits. Of course, all good Robertson fans know that praying to saints is idolatry, but still.


Traditionally magic spells have always been synonymous with prayers. It's only recently that the Latin phrases or D&D mumbo jumbo has become a replacement for our current generation's view on spells and has been divorced from petitions and sacrifices to gods or angels or spirits as was standard in the past.
 
2013-10-25 04:04:22 AM
I really flustered a god person by pointing out that according to his "good book" all rapists, murderers and child molesters have to do to get to heaven is ask for forgiveness and mean it, and they get in. A fellow believer backed me up, by saying the only unforgiveable sin is not believing.
 
2013-10-25 04:40:31 AM
Oh, so my mom, who lost her hearing at 25 (after earning a Master's degree in Music) must have affronted Gawd and Jay-sus so much that He chose to take her hearing through a genetically proven disease in our family line. Perhaps she should have prayed harder to rebuke the spirit of deafness that took her livelihood and passion for teaching music away before allowing those secular doctors - most of whom will soon be receiving Obamacare - to put a cochlear implant in her head at a cost of $100,000+, thereby restoring her hearing to near normal. She has now returned to a life of teaching piano lessons and is the head music director at her church. Secondly, I bought her an iPod as a "welcome back to hearing" gift that I filled with awesome, non-Jesusy music that I knew she loved prior to going deaf and we've been building on that collection ever since. Her got-damn LIFE was restored through SCIENCE, not Jesus, and none of us in her circle of family and friends could be more thankful. Pat Robertson can go fark himself with something hard and sandpapery.
 
2013-10-25 05:26:47 AM

Darth_Lukecash: notyomama: I know a girl who has cerebral palsy and has been in a wheelchair since she was little.  She told me one the most difficult things about it was dealing with the people that tell her if she prayed harder or her faith was strong enough, she could get out of that chair.  Then they tell her they will pray for her since she's obviously doing it wrong.


//She's far too polite to tell them to get farked.  I am not.

That just brought up a whole bunch of bad memories.

I'm handicapped, spent a lot of my childhood in body cast, wheelchairs and walkers. Once, when I was 9, I was grocery shopping with my mom in a wheelchair.

My mom went to the baker counter to get the cake we had ordered, so I hung back away from the crowded area.

Two little old blue haired ladies came up to me and aske "Well what was your sin, little boy"

"I'm sorry mam?"

"Well, you are obviously in that wheelchair because you disobeyed your parents and got hurt"

"No, I was born like this"

"Oh, so it's your parents sin, we will pray for you"

Fortunately, I was Catholic at the time, and we were taught by Jesuits that science determines illness and God doesn't punish people that way.

Then of course I became an Atheist about 10 years later.


Ive been in a wheelchair about four years now since a car accident. I am so ove rpeople telling me I must JUST try this faith healer, this remedy, acupuncture, but most of all - they will pray for me. Nic elf them, but couldn't they do something useful?

/ really HATE the people who tell me I just have to 'try harder'. What - force my spine to regenerate the damaged discs, nerves, muscles and bones? Well, damn. If only I had thought of doing that earlier. Just finish my cup of tea and get right on it.

// a'holes.

/// If I wasn't an atheist already, would have become one by now.
 
2013-10-25 09:15:31 AM

0z79: Darth_Lukecash: 0z79:  I'd been wondering why many are so vicious and rude towards Christians, or why me saying I believe in God lead someone to say "Oh yeah? My God is your gallon of milk. I FARKED IT THIS MORNING!!"

Then I read crap like this...


I'm not sure I've ever heard the atheist argument of GOD= Milk + Sexual intercourse before...

The person involved was just trying to be as crude and vulgar as possible.

They then spent 15 minutes calling me every kind of deluded fool, with their close friends laughing at my expense, with a grand finale of "FARK YOUR "GOD"!!!"

All I said was "Yes, I do believe in Jesus Christ as my savior."

They asked....


I find that the trick is to avoid college sophomores.  They go through a phase.  Sorry to hear that you were beset by aholes.
 
2013-10-25 09:26:16 AM

Mithiwithi: falkone32: Farking Canuck: These are in your religions ... why does it offend you to call them what they are??

They also overwhelmingly deny astrology, yet overwhelmingly accept that the birth of their king was announced by a star and that the star was correctly interpreted by a bunch of "wise men".  By magic and astrology, they mean pagan magic and pagan astrology.  That is, the distinction is not made based on the nature of the thing, but instead on whose group the ritual belongs to.  They ignore that pagan magic worked almost as well as their own in scripture.

I remember one "smug and self-assured atheist" article pointing out that praying is basically casting a spell - it's just doing so via an authorized supernatural power.

There's actually an old computer RPG called Darklands that actually made this explicit - it was set in a version of medieval Europe in which black magic and alchemy actually worked, and your party could include priests that could call upon the saints for tangible benefits. Of course, all good Robertson fans know that praying to saints is idolatry, but still.


In the RPG "D&D" this is how cleric spells work. The cleric isn't actually doing the magic themselves. They are praying to their god to do some magic for them ... like healing or banishing demons/spirits, etc.

Maybe that is what the Cure Blindness spell is. I always assumed it was a healing spell but, if Robertson is right, it is a banishing spell for blindness demons.
 
2013-10-25 09:52:23 AM
I have an aunt who is dead thanks to this mentality.

My aunt used to watch as much of Robertson as she could, and she was big on faith healing. Benny Hinn was another of her favorites. At one point she told me that my daughter's autism was caused by a demon inside her and that if we posted scripture around her room and prayed hard enough and rebuked the demon of autism that she would cease to be autistic. Anyways...

My aunt went years without seeing a doctor or even so much as taking an aspirin-- instead opting to pray away the pain, which never seemed to work. She'd say that it was only because she wasn't praying hard enough. Finally, my mother talked her into seeing a doctor, and as it turned out, she had uterine cancer. Of course, by then it was beyond the point where the doctors could do much for her, and my aunt insisted that God had given her cancer because she'd lacked faith and let herself be talked into seeing a doctor. For the few months she had left after that, her house was practically wallpapered in Bible verses that she insisted would cleanse her of her cancer.

It didn't.
 
2013-10-25 11:09:53 AM

Delawheredad: IF it worked that way EVERY hospital would be empty and there would be no atheists. Want to rebuke the deafness? Fine as soon as you are done with that see a medical specialist.


But if god did that, people would know he existed and that would destroy faith (this is what christians believe). It it quite hilarious when you realize that everything in christianity boils down to, 'because I/he said so'. Nothing is demonstrable as that would prove god exists thereby nullifying his mystique and power, so just take my word for it instead...

/ thats a nice house of card christians have there...

supayoda: I have an aunt who is dead thanks to this mentality.

My aunt used to watch as much of Robertson as she could, and she was big on faith healing. Benny Hinn was another of her favorites.


If only she had listened to more Benny Hill instead of Hinn...
 
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