If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Right Wing Watch)   Pat Robertson advises mother to heal her son by "rebuking the spirit of deafness." Still no rebuke for the spirit of cancerness   (rightwingwatch.org) divider line 122
    More: Asinine, Pat Robertson  
•       •       •

2834 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2013 at 7:28 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



122 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-10-24 08:35:15 PM
img13.imageshack.us

I think I've heard this sermon before.
 
2013-10-24 08:40:08 PM

Danger Avoid Death: C'mon Pat. Everyone knows the spirit of deafness can't hear you.


simple, yet perfect.
 
2013-10-24 08:44:15 PM

Raoul Eaton: I've rebuked the spirit of stupidity, but Pat Robertson is still around saying stupid things.  I'm not too convinced this "rebuking" thing really works.


www.cs.cmu.edu
 
2013-10-24 08:44:22 PM

Hector Remarkable: Wrong religion, lady. Whatcha got there is whadaya call some bad thetans. For just a

ten thousand bucks or so, Scientology will cure that boy right up charge you another ten thousand bucks.
 
2013-10-24 08:48:11 PM
And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." --Mark 9:25

/I didn't write this
//I plagiarized
 
2013-10-24 08:50:04 PM
He said enter.......

/sorry
 
2013-10-24 08:50:40 PM
Rebuking evil spirits is something only evil clerics do.  Good aligned clerics turn or destroy undead.  If Pat's going around rebuking spirits, it doesn't speak well for his position on the alignment grid.
 
2013-10-24 09:08:47 PM

SavageWombat: Rebuking evil spirits is something only evil clerics do.  Good aligned clerics turn or destroy undead.  If Pat's going around rebuking spirits, it doesn't speak well for his position on the alignment grid.


Chaotic, Neutral, or Lawful? We need specifics here.
 
2013-10-24 09:09:23 PM
I accidentally the whole thing. Yes.

What?

Where am I?
 
2013-10-24 09:17:54 PM

megarian: I accidentally the whole thing. Yes.

What?

Where am I?


The whole thing?

Oh, and I'd tell you are but I don't wanna scare you : )

/Although your state is closer to okaying gay marriage than mine.
//So, just let me know when to show up with a flatbed trailer-truck with 2 Bobcats on it, and I'll propose marriage : )
 
2013-10-24 09:23:34 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: I accidentally the whole thing. Yes.

What?

Where am I?

The whole thing?

Oh, and I'd tell you are but I don't wanna scare you : )

/Although your state is closer to okaying gay marriage than mine.
//So, just let me know when to show up with a flatbed trailer-truck with 2 Bobcats on it, and I'll propose marriage : )


We're about the gay the shiat out of this state. The Supreme Court said "OH FFS, whatever the DC court said. Then we'll pass shiat because the marihuana laws confused us."

WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited
 
2013-10-24 09:43:32 PM

Your Hind Brain: SavageWombat: Rebuking evil spirits is something only evil clerics do.  Good aligned clerics turn or destroy undead.  If Pat's going around rebuking spirits, it doesn't speak well for his position on the alignment grid.

Chaotic, Neutral, or Lawful? We need specifics here.


He's true neutral cos he's only in it for the money. Uses both law SND chaos for his own ends, doesn't really want to do good but doesn't go out of his way to hurt anyone either.

BTW from the Christian perspective, doesn't "rebuking" suggest he thinks deafness is caused by demonic possession? Cuz... um... aren't demons supposed to possess people to make them do evil and turn them from god? And how is being deaf leading deaf people away from god?
 
2013-10-24 09:46:15 PM
0z79:  I'd been wondering why many are so vicious and rude towards Christians, or why me saying I believe in God lead someone to say "Oh yeah? My God is your gallon of milk. I FARKED IT THIS MORNING!!"

Then I read crap like this...



I'm not sure I've ever heard the atheist argument of GOD= Milk + Sexual intercourse before...
 
2013-10-24 09:46:22 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Your Hind Brain: SavageWombat: Rebuking evil spirits is something only evil clerics do.  Good aligned clerics turn or destroy undead.  If Pat's going around rebuking spirits, it doesn't speak well for his position on the alignment grid.

Chaotic, Neutral, or Lawful? We need specifics here.

He's true neutral cos he's only in it for the money. Uses both law SND chaos for his own ends, doesn't really want to do good but doesn't go out of his way to hurt anyone either.

BTW from the Christian perspective, doesn't "rebuking" suggest he thinks deafness is caused by demonic possession? Cuz... um... aren't demons supposed to possess people to make them do evil and turn them from god? And how is being deaf leading deaf people away from god?


They can't hear him coming.  And you know what happens when deities sneak up on a person?  They get shot.
 
2013-10-24 09:46:35 PM
Oddly, he doesn't seem to claim as much power of prayer to cure  Downs Syndrome victims.  Wonder why?
 
2013-10-24 09:47:16 PM

Isitoveryet: i would have told the mother looking for advice to accept her child as he/she is.

deaf people rock! they are slightly better than people with all 5 senses intact .

& Pat Robertson is proof there is no God, what God would let this....man (for lack of a better word) represent him to the masses of shiat-for-brains jackasses?


i could not agree more! do you sign?
 
2013-10-24 09:50:19 PM

Isitoveryet: I had a deaf buddy, turns out his father was deaf (didn't ask about his mother) & so was his son!

I didn't know it was hereditary until that day.


Actually, it ususally isn't. Only 10% of Deaf people are born to deaf adults.
 
2013-10-24 09:52:23 PM
Well, Pat knows he's full of crap.

Otherwise, he wouldn't have said this:

"I have dealt with people who are deaf and you rebuke the spirit of deafness and they get healed," Robertson said. "I don't know what you're doing wrong."
"Why don't you try that and if it doesn't work, try something else," he said.
  If it doesn't work....try something that does work. BRILLIANT!

(Oh, but be sure to credit the god thing that didn't work. Because you know, god.)
 
2013-10-24 09:52:31 PM
I know a girl who has cerebral palsy and has been in a wheelchair since she was little.  She told me one the most difficult things about it was dealing with the people that tell her if she prayed harder or her faith was strong enough, she could get out of that chair.  Then they tell her they will pray for her since she's obviously doing it wrong.


//She's far too polite to tell them to get farked.  I am not.
 
2013-10-24 09:53:29 PM
What about the spirit of siphoning charity money to run your blood diamond mine, Pat?
 
2013-10-24 09:54:53 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: And how is being deaf leading deaf people away from god?


Braille bibles seem like they would be really hard to read.
 
2013-10-24 09:58:04 PM

notyomama: I know a girl who has cerebral palsy and has been in a wheelchair since she was little.  She told me one the most difficult things about it was dealing with the people that tell her if she prayed harder or her faith was strong enough, she could get out of that chair.  Then they tell her they will pray for her since she's obviously doing it wrong.


//She's far too polite to tell them to get farked.  I am not.


Throw in an extra one for me.
 
2013-10-24 10:01:15 PM
content.altfonts.com:81
 
2013-10-24 10:02:24 PM

kidsizedcoffin: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: And how is being deaf leading deaf people away from god?

Braille bibles seem like they would be really hard to read.


You almost had me there but braille is for blind people.

And yes, using braille makes for sensitive fingers, which leads to masturbation therefore blindness is caused by demons. See, I can understand that, but the deafness thing?
 
2013-10-24 10:04:05 PM

notyomama: I know a girl who has cerebral palsy and has been in a wheelchair since she was little.  She told me one the most difficult things about it was dealing with the people that tell her if she prayed harder or her faith was strong enough, she could get out of that chair.  Then they tell her they will pray for her since she's obviously doing it wrong.


//She's far too polite to tell them to get farked.  I am not.




That just brought up a whole bunch of bad memories.

I'm handicapped, spent a lot of my childhood in body cast, wheelchairs and walkers. Once, when I was 9, I was grocery shopping with my mom in a wheelchair.

My mom went to the baker counter to get the cake we had ordered, so I hung back away from the crowded area.

Two little old blue haired ladies came up to me and aske "Well what was your sin, little boy"

"I'm sorry mam?"

"Well, you are obviously in that wheelchair because you disobeyed your parents and got hurt"

"No, I was born like this"

"Oh, so it's your parents sin, we will pray for you"

Fortunately, I was Catholic at the time, and we were taught by Jesuits that science determines illness and God doesn't punish people that way.

Then of course I became an Atheist about 10 years later.
 
2013-10-24 10:06:24 PM
I attended university that was located in the Bible Belt. One of my friends was wheelchair-bound due to spina bifida (a congenital disease) and some religious fundamentalist approached her and stated that she wouldn't be in a wheelchair if she'd had more faith.
 
2013-10-24 10:11:45 PM

0z79: The other day, I was having a discussion with someone who had the opinion that all people with any sort of religion, ESPECIALLY Christianity, were deluded fools.

It was long, but very civil; we came to an understanding of one another's views. We both learned a lesson in respecting our fellow sophonts.

I'd been wondering why many are so vicious and rude towards Christians, or why me saying I believe in God lead someone to say "Oh yeah? My God is your gallon of milk. I FARKED IT THIS MORNING!!"

Then I read crap like this...


If it helps, I definitely don't blame Christians or Christianity for Pat Robertson. Being a false prophet has always been a really good gig when the actual God doesn't smite them, and it seems God's not been bothering much with that these days.
 
2013-10-24 10:13:27 PM

aevorea: I attended university that was located in the Bible Belt. One of my friends was wheelchair-bound due to spina bifida (a congenital disease) and some religious fundamentalist approached her and stated that she wouldn't be in a wheelchair if she'd had more faith.


It would be funny to take a hammer to the fundie's kneecaps, then ask them to demonstrate this faith overcoming physical injury thing.
 
2013-10-24 10:19:49 PM

megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited


Very cool, good to hear.
 
2013-10-24 10:23:12 PM
What a crazy dipshiat. Recently I read that there was going to be a documentary exposing him allegedly using an airplane from his African charity to transport equipment for his diamond mining business there. Last I heard/read he threatened legal action against those behind the documentary and I haven't heard a word since. I was so hoping it was true. Crazy f*ck.
 
2013-10-24 10:23:59 PM
 
2013-10-24 10:27:05 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.


Baby steps. Not with actual babies.
 
2013-10-24 10:29:59 PM
This is why I don't understand why religious people get upset when I refer to this stuff as magic.

Do you believe in spirits? Can they be rebuked? This rebuking is some kind of magic spell, right? They don't just leave because you ask them to, right?

Turning water into wine, flying chariots into heaven, walking on water, parting seas - none follow the laws of physics therefore they are magic. These are in your religions ... why does it offend you to call them what they are??
 
2013-10-24 10:32:12 PM
IF it worked that way EVERY hospital would be empty and there would be no atheists. Want to rebuke the deafness? Fine as soon as you are done with that see a medical specialist.
 
2013-10-24 10:34:26 PM

megarian: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Baby steps. Not with actual babies.


...but why?

/Off to Amazon to find baby shaped slippers.
 
2013-10-24 10:39:40 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.


Oh, great. Don't you know Pat said now we're going to have meteor strikes, alien invasions, typhoons and even dandruff? Because of you gay people out there being all gay!

If you're any gayer, who knows what could happen next! Let's find out!
 
2013-10-24 10:42:23 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Baby steps. Not with actual babies.

...but why?

/Off to Amazon to find baby shaped slippers.


Because their intestines make my toes feel weird. And gay. Weird and gay. Weirday.
 
2013-10-24 10:45:29 PM
Oh, and I would like to recommend making a kickstarter fund for Pat Robertson I mean he pulls so many things out of his ass it's gotta get uncomfortable, if everyone could chip in and help we could give him this.

: )
 
2013-10-24 10:49:03 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Your Hind Brain: SavageWombat: Rebuking evil spirits is something only evil clerics do.  Good aligned clerics turn or destroy undead.  If Pat's going around rebuking spirits, it doesn't speak well for his position on the alignment grid.

Chaotic, Neutral, or Lawful? We need specifics here.

He's true neutral cos he's only in it for the money. Uses both law SND chaos for his own ends, doesn't really want to do good but doesn't go out of his way to hurt anyone either.

BTW from the Christian perspective, doesn't "rebuking" suggest he thinks deafness is caused by demonic possession? Cuz... um... aren't demons supposed to possess people to make them do evil and turn them from god? And how is being deaf leading deaf people away from god?


Ahhh Yes. That does make sense. Kinda makes me think that neutral/neutral is the truest of evil, maybe like the idea of heaven and hell having a third party called the abyss. Cool concept. Also remember:

Your Hind Brain: And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." --Mark 9:25

/Buy Namaste products now or you go to that fourth party.
//23 sided die included

 
2013-10-24 10:49:44 PM
Obligatory (or start from the beginning if you want the intro.)
 
2013-10-24 10:49:48 PM

Gyrfalcon: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Oh, great. Don't you know Pat said now we're going to have meteor strikes, alien invasions, typhoons and even dandruff? Because of you gay people out there being all gay!

If you're any gayer, who knows what could happen next! Let's find out!


Does this mean we're not still on for a poly marriage when everyone is forced to gay marry?

/Shuck's, hangs head, kicks dirt : (
 
2013-10-24 10:51:40 PM

megarian: Because their intestines make my toes feel weird. And gay. Weird and gay. Weirday.


Well that makes sense, besides you could slip and fall I hear babies don't have much traction as footwear.
 
2013-10-24 10:52:12 PM

Gyrfalcon: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Oh, great. Don't you know Pat said now we're going to have meteor strikes, alien invasions, typhoons and even dandruff? Because of you gay people out there being all gay!

If you're any gayer, who knows what could happen next! Let's find out!



I'm gay enough to start a typhoon all by my little ol' self!
 
2013-10-24 11:02:20 PM

ciberido: I'm gay enough to start a typhoon all by my little ol' self!


Meh, I'm sure it's my fault this happened and if the New Madrid ever goes I'm sure it will be my fault.

: )
 
2013-10-24 11:06:05 PM

Farking Canuck: These are in your religions ... why does it offend you to call them what they are??


They also overwhelmingly deny astrology, yet overwhelmingly accept that the birth of their king was announced by a star and that the star was correctly interpreted by a bunch of "wise men".  By magic and astrology, they mean pagan magic and pagan astrology.  That is, the distinction is not made based on the nature of the thing, but instead on whose group the ritual belongs to.  They ignore that pagan magic worked almost as well as their own in scripture.
 
2013-10-24 11:24:48 PM

falkone32: Farking Canuck: These are in your religions ... why does it offend you to call them what they are??

They also overwhelmingly deny astrology, yet overwhelmingly accept that the birth of their king was announced by a star and that the star was correctly interpreted by a bunch of "wise men".  By magic and astrology, they mean pagan magic and pagan astrology.  That is, the distinction is not made based on the nature of the thing, but instead on whose group the ritual belongs to.  They ignore that pagan magic worked almost as well as their own in scripture.


I remember one "smug and self-assured atheist" article pointing out that praying is basically casting a spell - it's just doing so via an authorized supernatural power.

There's actually an old computer RPG called Darklands that actually made this explicit - it was set in a version of medieval Europe in which black magic and alchemy actually worked, and your party could include priests that could call upon the saints for tangible benefits. Of course, all good Robertson fans know that praying to saints is idolatry, but still.
 
2013-10-24 11:38:54 PM

Richard C Stanford: Isitoveryet: i would have told the mother looking for advice to accept her child as he/she is.

deaf people rock! they are slightly better than people with all 5 senses intact .

& Pat Robertson is proof there is no God, what God would let this....man (for lack of a better word) represent him to the masses of shiat-for-brains jackasses?

So that when Pat finally collapses from Alzheimer's, he can float gently towards heaven, see the infinite beauty of His work... And then be cast into the fire for being a false prophet.
Really, I kind of feel bad for him. At the end of the day, Pats just a sad old man, lost in a world he doesn't recognize.


And he spends a lot of time worrying about sex with ducks.
 
2013-10-24 11:48:42 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Gyrfalcon: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: WE'RE ABOUT TO GAY!

/no snark, actually quite confident and excited

Very cool, good to hear.

Oh, great. Don't you know Pat said now we're going to have meteor strikes, alien invasions, typhoons and even dandruff? Because of you gay people out there being all gay!

If you're any gayer, who knows what could happen next! Let's find out!

Does this mean we're not still on for a poly marriage when everyone is forced to gay marry?

/Shuck's, hangs head, kicks dirt : (


Oh, yes, especially after I checked out that 55-gal. drum of lube.

I'm almost afraid to ask how you find these things. Afraid, but more excited.
 
2013-10-24 11:53:39 PM
NutWrench:

Keep trying! It would be pretty damn funny if Pat were run over by a church bus, or struck by lightning

A gent I went to school with eventually became an efficiency expert. He got knocked down when crossing a street two or three years ago -- by an ambulance.
 
2013-10-24 11:57:01 PM

Gyrfalcon: Oh, yes, especially after I checked out that 55-gal. drum of lube.

I'm almost afraid to ask how you find these things. Afraid, but more excited.


Um, would you believe me if I said a friend told me about it?
/Oh, yea check out the comments on it. The earlier ones were best. Trust me ; )
 
Displayed 50 of 122 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »





Report