If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Team Coco) Video Anna Faris: "I had a Barbie Whorehouse"   (teamcoco.com) divider line 47
    More: Video  
•       •       •

5930 clicks; posted to Video » on 24 Oct 2013 at 5:12 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-24 05:18:25 PM
So she's met my 6 year old.
 
2013-10-24 05:25:35 PM
I was under the impression that the first thing the girls did was take off Barbie and Ken's clothes and put them in the bed.
 
2013-10-24 05:32:01 PM
We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.
 
2013-10-24 05:34:31 PM
And then you farked up your face and no one cares anymore.
 
2013-10-24 05:37:29 PM
Princess Leia was such a whore in Jabba's Palace.
 
2013-10-24 05:39:42 PM

someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.


Ok.
 
2013-10-24 05:44:58 PM
And then there was the time the value of Barbie's Malibu house went down unreasonably just because the Black Barbie moved in...
 
2013-10-24 05:47:28 PM

someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.


Car chases?
 
2013-10-24 05:49:57 PM

someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.


Kids had such innocent and pure imaginations before Grand Theft Auto came along and warped their minds.
 
2013-10-24 05:55:57 PM
I melted the entire cast of Star Wars (ANH) in 1980 using my dad's blowtorch and a vice.
 
2013-10-24 05:56:29 PM

someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.


I thought the "hooked on smack" thing was Charlie's Angels?
 
2013-10-24 05:57:12 PM

Gergesa: someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.

Car chases?


I only had the beach van. And Barbie's knees didn't bend far enough for her to sit in the front seat properly. She would always be half-launched into the windshield.
 
2013-10-24 06:01:41 PM

fusillade762: someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.

I thought the "hooked on smack" thing was Charlie's Angels?


Maybe. We did play a lot of "Charlie's Angels" too. I always had to be Sabrina. : ( But the smack thing I recall was from Starsky & Hutch. Hutch, I think, got hooked on smack with his girlfriend. Oh, and there was one where one of their girlfriends had a bullet lodged in her brain that was destined to kill her at some future point, and they went to an amusement park because she wanted to enjoy what little life she had left. Maybe it was a tumor, but I remember it as a bullet. So I had my Barbie act out being a girl doomed to die because she had a bullet lodged in her brain.
 
2013-10-24 06:02:46 PM

someonelse: Gergesa: someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.

Car chases?

I only had the beach van. And Barbie's knees didn't bend far enough for her to sit in the front seat properly. She would always be half-launched into the windshield.


So no Ken sliding over the hood of the Barbie Corvette?

/DO IT
 
2013-10-24 06:03:20 PM

Treygreen13: I was under the impression that the first thing the girls did was take off Barbie and Ken's clothes and put them in the bed.


I was more inclined to put Barbie with Skipper, but that's just how I roll.
 
2013-10-24 06:07:31 PM

devilskware: And then you farked up your face and no one cares anymore.



We can remember the good ol days:


www.bacanalnica.com
 
2013-10-24 06:24:46 PM

fusillade762: someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.

I thought the "hooked on smack" thing was Charlie's Angels?


Does anybody else remember when the cousin on LHOTP was hooked on morphine?
 
2013-10-24 06:29:05 PM
devilskware: And then you farked up your face and no one cares anymore.

It looks like her plastic surgery wore off to me. Which is good.
 
2013-10-24 06:29:39 PM

someonelse: fusillade762: someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.

I thought the "hooked on smack" thing was Charlie's Angels?

Maybe. We did play a lot of "Charlie's Angels" too. I always had to be Sabrina. : ( But the smack thing I recall was from Starsky & Hutch. Hutch, I think, got hooked on smack with his girlfriend. Oh, and there was one where one of their girlfriends had a bullet lodged in her brain that was destined to kill her at some future point, and they went to an amusement park because she wanted to enjoy what little life she had left. Maybe it was a tumor, but I remember it as a bullet. So I had my Barbie act out being a girl doomed to die because she had a bullet lodged in her brain.


Here we go.

Avenging Angel

Kelly unwittingly becomes addicted to heroin when a released ex-con takes revenge on her by drugging her. His revenge is short-lived when both have to escape the clutches of the men from whom the drugs had been stolen.


Here's the S&H one.

The Fix

Hutch's girlfriend is a drug kingpin's moll attempting to start a new life. The kingpin wants her back and orders his goons to abduct Hutch and addict him to heroin. For another fix, will the strung-out Hutch divulge her hidden location?
 
2013-10-24 06:40:18 PM

Por que tan serioso: fusillade762: someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.

I thought the "hooked on smack" thing was Charlie's Angels?

Does anybody else remember when the cousin on LHOTP was hooked on morphine?


Home Again: Part 1

Damn, everybody was on smack.
 
2013-10-24 06:48:49 PM
Heard about Divorced Barbie?

She comes with all of Ken's stuff...
 
2013-10-24 07:07:51 PM

fusillade762: someonelse: fusillade762: someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.

I thought the "hooked on smack" thing was Charlie's Angels?

Maybe. We did play a lot of "Charlie's Angels" too. I always had to be Sabrina. : ( But the smack thing I recall was from Starsky & Hutch. Hutch, I think, got hooked on smack with his girlfriend. Oh, and there was one where one of their girlfriends had a bullet lodged in her brain that was destined to kill her at some future point, and they went to an amusement park because she wanted to enjoy what little life she had left. Maybe it was a tumor, but I remember it as a bullet. So I had my Barbie act out being a girl doomed to die because she had a bullet lodged in her brain.

Here we go.

Avenging Angel

Kelly unwittingly becomes addicted to heroin when a released ex-con takes revenge on her by drugging her. His revenge is short-lived when both have to escape the clutches of the men from whom the drugs had been stolen.

Here's the S&H one.

The Fix

Hutch's girlfriend is a drug kingpin's moll attempting to start a new life. The kingpin wants her back and orders his goons to abduct Hutch and addict him to heroin. For another fix, will the strung-out Hutch divulge her hidden location?


Yeah, but nothing is as memorable as Tom Hanks the alcoholic uncle on Family Ties.

/vanilla extract
 
2013-10-24 08:03:05 PM

fusillade762: someonelse: fusillade762: someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.

I thought the "hooked on smack" thing was Charlie's Angels?

Maybe. We did play a lot of "Charlie's Angels" too. I always had to be Sabrina. : ( But the smack thing I recall was from Starsky & Hutch. Hutch, I think, got hooked on smack with his girlfriend. Oh, and there was one where one of their girlfriends had a bullet lodged in her brain that was destined to kill her at some future point, and they went to an amusement park because she wanted to enjoy what little life she had left. Maybe it was a tumor, but I remember it as a bullet. So I had my Barbie act out being a girl doomed to die because she had a bullet lodged in her brain.

Here we go.

Avenging Angel

Kelly unwittingly becomes addicted to heroin when a released ex-con takes revenge on her by drugging her. His revenge is short-lived when both have to escape the clutches of the men from whom the drugs had been stolen.

Here's the S&H one.

The Fix

Hutch's girlfriend is a drug kingpin's moll attempting to start a new life. The kingpin wants her back and orders his goons to abduct Hutch and addict him to heroin. For another fix, will the strung-out Hutch divulge her hidden location?


Ha! Thanks!
 
2013-10-24 08:04:10 PM

Por que tan serioso: fusillade762: someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.

I thought the "hooked on smack" thing was Charlie's Angels?

Does anybody else remember when the cousin on LHOTP was hooked on morphine?


Oh yeah.
 
2013-10-24 08:04:34 PM

wraith95: devilskware: And then you farked up your face and no one cares anymore.

It looks like her plastic surgery wore off to me. Which is good.


It's pretty typical to see random accusations of plastic surgery here on fark. I think it's because there is a certain portion of the user base (most likely all male) that doesn't understand things like make-up, gaining or losing weight and of course, getting older.
 
2013-10-24 08:07:45 PM
She SO used to be on my Christmas "to do" list.

Now she's just hideous...and I'll never understand why.
 
2013-10-24 08:10:18 PM

skinink: And then there was the time the value of Barbie's Malibu house went down unreasonably just because the Black Barbie moved in...


img.fark.net
 
2013-10-24 08:13:40 PM

TwistedFark: wraith95: devilskware: And then you farked up your face and no one cares anymore.

It looks like her plastic surgery wore off to me. Which is good.

It's pretty typical to see random accusations of plastic surgery here on fark. I think it's because there is a certain portion of the user base (most likely all male) that doesn't understand things like make-up, gaining or losing weight and of course, getting older.


Oh yea women would never speculate on something like that. They're not catty and vindictive at all. Anyways, I don't know about her face, admittedly, but she had breast implants. That much is obvious.

Also, it's pretty common to see random accusations of plastic surgery all over the internet, not just us basement dwelling losers on fark. Type in "celebrity plastic surgery" to google and see how many sites are devoted to it.  (most likely all female) dumbass.
 
2013-10-24 08:18:13 PM
She was great in The House Bunny.  But yeah, sad about the plastic surgery
 
2013-10-24 08:41:59 PM

fastfxr: She SO used to be on my Christmas "to do" list.

Now she's just hideous...and I'll never understand why.


Barbie?
Well... I guess I'm glad you got over wanting to do her
 
2013-10-24 10:56:50 PM

someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.


I remember when Terminator 2 came out and I got my first Arnold Terminator action figure . My cousin wanted to play Barbie, so guess who showed up and knocked on the dream house? "Bahbie Cohnah?"
 
2013-10-25 12:10:39 AM

fusillade762: Por que tan serioso: fusillade762: someonelse: We always had sordid storylines when we played Barbies. We'd take plots from "Starsky & Hutch" or "Baretta" or whatever. Our Barbies were always getting raped or hooked on smack or having abortions, even though we didn't really know what those things were yet. Good times.

I thought the "hooked on smack" thing was Charlie's Angels?

Does anybody else remember when the cousin on LHOTP was hooked on morphine?

Home Again: Part 1

Damn, everybody was on smack.


They did it on Vega$ too.

I had a Barbie torture chamber for a while. Once we did a drawing & quartering with my plastic Breyer horses.
 
2013-10-25 01:17:46 AM
I dont think plastic surgery ruined her.   I think she had some bad collagen injection on her lips but thank god that that stuff wears off.
 
2013-10-25 03:09:33 AM

alizeran: skinink: And then there was the time the value of Barbie's Malibu house went down unreasonably just because the Black Barbie moved in...

[img.fark.net image 580x466]


So black Barbie actually is 3/5ths of white Barbie?
 
2013-10-25 07:03:24 AM

Saiga410: I dont think plastic surgery ruined her.   I think she had some bad collagen injection on her lips but thank god that that stuff wears off.


After a thousand actresses come out of that shiat looking like a funhouse mirror how the fark does smart woman like that not stay away from it?
 
2013-10-25 07:52:55 AM
Ive found her to be charming and funny, especially compared to other seemingly humorless "comedic actresses (*cough* Zooey Deschenel *cough*), but now I've found out from basement trolls that she's "worthless" because they don't like the way she looks now.
 
2013-10-25 08:16:39 AM

devilskware: And then you farked up your face and no one cares anymore.


You don't have to look at her face

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-25 08:40:30 AM

I Like Bread


So black Barbie actually is 3/5ths of white Barbie?


Yes, because 3.00 is 3/5ths of 5.93. *facepalm*
 
2013-10-25 10:27:47 AM
I was playing dolls with my then-4 year old niece, and she had a rather ecclectic mix of Polly Pockets,
Hannah Montana (this was before Miley Cyrus became a twerking tramp) and Batman, and while we
were playing she said that Hannah Montana and Batman were dating.

"Yeah," I said, "That makes sense.  I mean, they've got a lot in common, they both have secret identities!"

She just looked at me like I was stupid.

"No. They're just dating."
 
2013-10-25 11:19:59 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: I Like Bread

So black Barbie actually is 3/5ths of white Barbie?


Yes, because 3.00 is 3/5ths of 5.93. *facepalm*


Your math skills are strong.

However, your humor sensor is a little lacking.  Methinks I Like Bread was taking a little artistic license to the original Constitutional 3/5s clause.  And doing a damn fine job of it.
 
2013-10-25 12:34:17 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
Face? Oh yeah - she does have one.
 
2013-10-25 12:45:26 PM

ToastmasterGeneral


Your math skills are strong.

However, your humor sensor is a little lacking. Methinks I Like Bread was taking a little artistic license to the original Constitutional 3/5s clause. And doing a damn fine job of it.


I am fully aware of the Constitutional reference but will politely disagree on the quality of the job. IMO ~50% isn't close enough to 60% for it to be an effective joke.

If whatsit had said that "a black Barbie was worth only a fraction of a white Barbie" or something like that it, the Constitution ref would have been clear without the glaring mathematical discrepancy. Just an opinion.
 
2013-10-25 01:02:06 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: ToastmasterGeneral

Your math skills are strong.

However, your humor sensor is a little lacking. Methinks I Like Bread was taking a little artistic license to the original Constitutional 3/5s clause. And doing a damn fine job of it.


I am fully aware of the Constitutional reference but will politely disagree on the quality of the job. IMO ~50% isn't close enough to 60% for it to be an effective joke.

If whatsit had said that "a black Barbie was worth only a fraction of a white Barbie" or something like that it, the Constitution ref would have been clear without the glaring mathematical discrepancy. Just an opinion.


I read that as "Oh crap I missed the joke but here I am back-peddling, see I totally get it but it was still stupid neeyah."

Just kidding.

/not really
 
2013-10-25 02:10:48 PM

The Banana Thug


I read that as "Oh crap I missed the joke but here I am back-peddling, see I totally get it but it was still stupid neeyah."

Just kidding.

/not really


The goal of the original joke was quite obvious; the joke itself simply didn't work. Everyone learns about the 3/5ths compromise during middle or high school, so I'm not sure why you would think it's a mystery.

The word you wanted was "backpedaling", btw.
 
2013-10-25 03:26:11 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: ToastmasterGeneral

Your math skills are strong.

However, your humor sensor is a little lacking. Methinks I Like Bread was taking a little artistic license to the original Constitutional 3/5s clause. And doing a damn fine job of it.


I am fully aware of the Constitutional reference but will politely disagree on the quality of the job. IMO ~50% isn't close enough to 60% for it to be an effective joke.

If whatsit had said that "a black Barbie was worth only a fraction of a white Barbie" or something like that it, the Constitution ref would have been clear without the glaring mathematical discrepancy. Just an opinion.


Humor does not always require precision.  3 / 5.something is close enough for either government work or standup.

Now, maybe you could've moved to an, "I guess in inflation adjusted dollars, Black Barbie now worth only 300/593 of White Barbie," but that seems a bit unnecessarily wordy.
 
2013-10-25 04:53:12 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: The Banana Thug

I read that as "Oh crap I missed the joke but here I am back-peddling, see I totally get it but it was still stupid neeyah."

Just kidding.

/not really


The goal of the original joke was quite obvious; the joke itself simply didn't work. Everyone learns about the 3/5ths compromise during middle or high school, so I'm not sure why you would think it's a mystery.

The word you wanted was "backpedaling", btw.


Your name comes from an Eddie Izzard joke, I wager, and so I can only assume that your relative humorlessness is simply a wry setup for an insane, stream-of-consciousness tangent illustrated by hilariously inept mime.
 
2013-10-26 01:35:39 AM
Her face seems to have healed a bit and is looking somewhat normal again, but unfortunately her breasts seem to be just as bolted-on as they were after she had work done.

I like her. I wish she didn't feel the need to warp her body like that.
 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report