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(Some Guy)   Sarah Palin claims Jesus celebrated Easter. No word if he enjoyed looking for eggs in thorn bushes   (dailycurrant.com) divider line 162
    More: Satire, Sarah Palin, Easter, liturgical year, Orthodox Christians, War on Christmas, resurrections, Brian Kilmeade  
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4379 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Oct 2013 at 2:59 PM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



162 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-24 02:02:06 PM
"When Jesus celebrated Easter with his disciples there were no Easter bunnies or egg hunts. . . ."

*head implodes*
 
2013-10-24 02:03:04 PM
He was there, but from what I've read he didn't enjoy it.
 
2013-10-24 02:03:54 PM
All hail the queen of the tea party

/be proud, you patriots, be proud
 
2013-10-24 02:04:26 PM
satire
 
2013-10-24 02:04:33 PM
Q. Are your news stories real?
A. No. Our stories are purely fictional. However they are meant to address real-world issues through satire and often refer and link to real events happening in the world
 
2013-10-24 02:06:38 PM
Even with this being satire, it's totally something I could imagine her saying.
 
2013-10-24 02:07:22 PM
maybe she means the Roman spring celebration that Easter is based upon .
 
2013-10-24 02:11:26 PM

Tarkus: satire


Shh. When this thing goes green, they'll run with it.

/Although, it wouldn't shock me to hear her say something that dumn.
 
2013-10-24 02:13:26 PM

Tarkus: satire

*

*Site may not contain any actual humor
 
2013-10-24 02:15:07 PM
i realize that this is satire - but the mere fact that it's totally plausible should make us all very sad.
 
2013-10-24 02:15:45 PM

FlashHarry: i realize that this is satire - but the mere fact that it's totally plausible should make us all very sad.


The large numbers of Satire Police make me a little sad, too
 
2013-10-24 02:18:10 PM
In an interview with Fox and Friends this morning, the former Alaska governor promoted her new book about the left's "war on Christmas" and argued that all Christian holidays should return to the traditional versions practiced by Jesus.

I'd never suggest crucifying Palin and stuffing her in a cave.  But hey, if she insists...
 
2013-10-24 02:20:44 PM
He also enjoyed Christmas and going to Christmas Mass at midnight.
 
2013-10-24 02:21:06 PM
That's not even good satire.
 
2013-10-24 02:21:44 PM

Diogenes: In an interview with Fox and Friends this morning, the former Alaska governor promoted her new book about the left's "war on Christmas" and argued that all Christian holidays should return to the traditional versions practiced by Jesus.

I'd never suggest crucifying Palin and stuffing her in a cave.  But hey, if she insists...


If she came back I guess it would finally justify people worshiping her. Short of that, though, I don't get it.
 
2013-10-24 02:25:10 PM
Easter? Isn't that when Jesus came ridin' through town ringing his bells warning that the British were coming to take away our guns and give us health insurance? Or am I thinking of Palm Sunday?
 
2013-10-24 02:26:18 PM

impaler: That's not even good satire.


It started OK but kind of unraveled as it went along.

Nabb1: Diogenes: In an interview with Fox and Friends this morning, the former Alaska governor promoted her new book about the left's "war on Christmas" and argued that all Christian holidays should return to the traditional versions practiced by Jesus.

I'd never suggest crucifying Palin and stuffing her in a cave.  But hey, if she insists...

If she came back I guess it would finally justify people worshiping her. Short of that, though, I don't get it.


Plus it seems like an awful lot of work.

I'm sticking to eggs and baked ham.
 
2013-10-24 02:28:24 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Easter? Isn't that when Jesus came ridin' through town ringing his bells warning that the British were coming to take away our guns and give us health insurance?


he worked up a 'number six' on 'em?
 
2013-10-24 02:31:58 PM
I had to look at the rest of the site to see that this was a satire piece. Sadly, if I was just glancing at this article, I would have totally believed it to be real.
 
2013-10-24 02:40:40 PM

Nadie_AZ: He also enjoyed Christmas and going to Christmas Mass at midnight.



I read that he liked to eat Chinese food on his birthday.
 
2013-10-24 02:47:26 PM
At least Easter is better than Lent, when Jesus would pistol-whip anyone who hadn't paid back the money he had lent them.
 
2013-10-24 02:48:20 PM
They should call that site "The Shallot".

Because it's an Onion wanna-be.
 
2013-10-24 02:49:14 PM
Well, considering that Easter is a rip off of pagan solstice celebrations (complete with "Mother" Earth fertility themes like eggs), I would believe it.

But she means it the "Is she retarded?" way.
 
2013-10-24 02:51:55 PM
People still fall for the Daily Currant?
 
2013-10-24 02:55:10 PM

Diogenes: impaler: That's not even good satire.

It started OK but kind of unraveled as it went along.

Nabb1: Diogenes: In an interview with Fox and Friends this morning, the former Alaska governor promoted her new book about the left's "war on Christmas" and argued that all Christian holidays should return to the traditional versions practiced by Jesus.

I'd never suggest crucifying Palin and stuffing her in a cave.  But hey, if she insists...

If she came back I guess it would finally justify people worshiping her. Short of that, though, I don't get it.

Plus it seems like an awful lot of work.

I'm sticking to green eggs and baked ham.

 
2013-10-24 03:00:46 PM

Gig103: Well, considering that Easter is a rip off of pagan solstice celebrations (complete with "Mother" Earth fertility themes like eggs), I would believe it.

But she means it the "Is she retarded?" way.


Solstice or equinox? If it is the spring equinox, that would answer that question. What about summer solstice? Or fall equinox?
 
2013-10-24 03:02:01 PM

impaler: That's not even good satire.


Started out pretty good.  I didn't pay attention to what site it was and they had me going for a few paragraphs.

After all, this is the woman who thought the Founding Fathers recited the Pledge of Allegiance and wasn't sure if Africa was a country or a continent.
 
2013-10-24 03:02:52 PM
Some friendly advice: the longer you embellish your satire, the less effective it becomes. Two paragraphs would have been great.
 
2013-10-24 03:03:10 PM

Relatively Obscure: Q. Are your news stories real?
A. No. Our stories are purely fictional. However they are meant to address real-world issues through satire and often refer and link to real events happening in the world


I knew it was too good to be true when I saw the headline "Nancy Grace Arrested for Murder"
 
2013-10-24 03:04:32 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Easter? Isn't that when Jesus came ridin' through town ringing his bells warning that the British were coming to take away our guns and give us health insurance? Or am I thinking of Palm Sunday?


That might be Canada Day you're thinking of.
 
2013-10-24 03:04:35 PM
Poe's law in effect.  I starting reading before noticing the site was Daily Currant and was totally buying it for a bit.
 
2013-10-24 03:05:15 PM
I know this is satire because its smarter and more coherent than something Sarah Palin would actually say
 
2013-10-24 03:05:54 PM
satire.  Right?

... RIGHT?
 
2013-10-24 03:06:19 PM
I didn't realize this was satire at first, but only because it's 100% believable.
 
2013-10-24 03:06:34 PM

Gig103: Well, considering that Easter is a rip off of pagan solstice celebrations (complete with "Mother" Earth fertility themes like eggs), I would believe it.

But she means it the "Is she retarded?" way.


Christmas is as well....

It's near the solstice, we use christmas trees, etc.
 
2013-10-24 03:06:53 PM

Lionel Mandrake: impaler: That's not even good satire.

Started out pretty good.  I didn't pay attention to what site it was and they had me going for a few paragraphs.

After all, this is the woman who thought the Founding Fathers recited the Pledge of Allegiance and wasn't sure if Africa was a country or a continent.


What gave it away as satire was the part where the article claims a Fox and Friends host would not only know Palin was wrong, but dare to correct her on the air.  It was totally plausible up to that point.
 
2013-10-24 03:06:55 PM

Super Chronic: Some friendly advice: the longer you embellish your satire, the less effective it becomes. Two paragraphs would have been great.



This.
 
2013-10-24 03:07:43 PM

Lionel Mandrake: impaler: That's not even good satire.

Started out pretty good.  I didn't pay attention to what site it was and they had me going for a few paragraphs.

After all, this is the woman who thought the Founding Fathers recited the Pledge of Allegiance and wasn't sure if Africa was a country or a continent.


That's why we need to get maps to the africans like and such as....
 
2013-10-24 03:08:32 PM
I thought he got really high on Easter.
 
2013-10-24 03:09:07 PM

Great_Milenko: Relatively Obscure: Q. Are your news stories real?
A. No. Our stories are purely fictional. However they are meant to address real-world issues through satire and often refer and link to real events happening in the world

I knew it was too good to be true when I saw the headline "Nancy Grace Arrested for Murder"


Yeah, the police can't touch her anymore once they found out she was privy to the whole JFK/Iran Contra/Deepwater Horizon conspiracy.
 
2013-10-24 03:09:18 PM
FTA: "It celebrates the death and resurrection of Jesus," Kilmeade interrupted. "It celebrates his death and resurrection from the dead. Now Sarah, tell me how can Jesus celebrate his own death before he died?"

Wow, that imbecile Kilmease actually called someone out on something blatantly stupid?

That is a first.
 
2013-10-24 03:09:48 PM
Is Sarah Palin still a thing?
 
2013-10-24 03:11:56 PM
Oh come on people, the sentence was grammatically correct. That should have been your first clue.

Here's a handy guide for future reference...

If it's a jumbled, rambling word salad and you're not quite sure exactly what she's even saying but you suspect you disagree with it nonetheless: REAL
If it's a relatively clear, concise statement that says something ridiculous: AMUSING, BUT FAKE
 
2013-10-24 03:12:41 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Easter? Isn't that when Jesus came ridin' through town ringing his bells warning that the British were coming to take away our guns and give us health insurance? Or am I thinking of Palm Sunday?


No, that's the Assumption of Mary.

Palm Sunday is the time of year Putin rears his head and comes into the air.
 
2013-10-24 03:13:17 PM
I always thought Easter was more of a microphone spike than a celebration. JEEZY OUT!
 
2013-10-24 03:13:29 PM
You cannot satirize real ignorance. It just comes off as pity.
 
2013-10-24 03:14:42 PM
This reads like republican "humor" to me.  Like "haw haw people we disagree with are so dumb."

It's like Ramierez and his terrible political cartoons: Obama: "<really stupid things obama has never said>".
 
2013-10-24 03:14:56 PM
tng.trekcore.com

God show mercy if she really said this...
 
2013-10-24 03:15:11 PM
I only knew it was a fake when I got to the part about Brian Kilmeade knowing better and correcting her on her mistake.
 
2013-10-24 03:15:24 PM
"It makes me so gosh darn angry," Palin explained. "The liberal left in this country has targeted Christian holidays and is trying to secularize them right out of existence."

This 'quote' is not only feasible, it's something she and her ilk actually say. I'm not sure when Macy's and other retailers choosing to have their employees say "Happy Holidays" became the juggernaut created to destroy the Christian community, but that's how it's described whenever these people start crying around this time of year. Jeez, the 'war on Christmas' probably starts even before your local mall puts up Christmas decorations.

And no, Palin-Americans, using the courts is not an assault on your religion. It's an attempt to keep you from steamrolling those who may not agree with you. You can have your visions of a world ruled by God. Just don't whine and moan when some people stand up to you.

This whining about how you're being picked on usually happens in the same paragraph where you had described tough and bootstrappy you are. A bunch of faux-cowboys or "mama grizzlies" who run to their mommies when they stub a toe. Farking pussies, all of you.
 
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