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(Detroit Free Press)   If you carjacked a woman, were followed by witnesses, drove the car into a lake, got into a gunfight with other witnesses, stole one of their cars and escaped, the Detroit police would like to confiscate your copy of Grand Theft Auto   (freep.com) divider line 39
    More: Strange, Detroit Police, Grand Theft Auto, SUV, Detroit, Ford Crown Victoria, Montclair, Chevrolet Traverse, lakes  
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2840 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2013 at 3:37 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-24 02:12:57 PM
Grand Theft Aristocrats?
 
2013-10-24 02:22:30 PM
Should have hit a stop and spray.
 
2013-10-24 02:24:23 PM
How many stars is this?  I'm gonna go with 3.
 
2013-10-24 02:42:14 PM
Too bad he couldn't find a paint shop.
 
2013-10-24 02:58:04 PM
STUNT JUMP FAILED
 
2013-10-24 03:24:07 PM
Detroit police have a woody for this guy.
 
2013-10-24 03:40:37 PM

OregonVet: Detroit police have a woody for this guy.


What a Detroit woodie may look like:

farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2013-10-24 03:42:04 PM
I was told harmlessly following people for the purposes of reporting possible crime is racist vigilantism.
 
2013-10-24 03:45:40 PM
In Detroit this is just Wednesday.
 
2013-10-24 03:47:22 PM

Elegy: I was told harmlessly following people for the purposes of reporting possible crime is racist vigilantism.


I was told there's a difference between "possible crime" and a carjacking in progress.
 
2013-10-24 03:58:33 PM
Sounds like Trevor and Neil? moved to Detroit.
 
2013-10-24 04:00:23 PM

JohnAnnArbor: In Detroit this is just Wednesday.


No shiat. /works on Highland park project "apartments". //trannys, whoors, dealers, gangs, a shooting, and a car chase. This describes what I saw there. On my first day. Seriously.
 
2013-10-24 04:07:15 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Should have hit a stop

Pay and spray.

/semantics
 
2013-10-24 04:12:36 PM
Women drivers, huh?
 
2013-10-24 04:16:19 PM
Freep? Yeah, not clicking that.
 
2013-10-24 04:16:23 PM
CCW carrier has car stolen after a shootout?  He needs to work on his marksmanship, or realize this wasn't worth shooting over.

Seriously, just follow and give cops directions if you really need to play hero.
 
2013-10-24 04:16:29 PM
3 star event.  Meh.

Guy should have parachuted into a flatbed car on a moving train and started to unleash the fury with a mini-gun and sticky bombs.
 
2013-10-24 04:21:28 PM
so someone with a concealed weapons permit went chasing after the guy. wtf. did he not have a good enough hardon just packing heat and thinking i'll be johnny badass if someone attacks me he thinks he is qualified to get into a running shoot out. stand your ground and your home is your castle is so overused its almost a joke.
 
2013-10-24 04:23:32 PM
That actually is remarkably similar to the first thirty seconds of every one of my GTA:Online sessions.
 
2013-10-24 04:24:01 PM

Shrugging Atlas: 3 star event.  Meh.

Guy should have parachuted into a flatbed car on a moving train and started to unleash the fury with a mini-gun and sticky bombs.


I was hoping for the unleashed fury of stick buns.

www.artisanbreadinfive.com
 
2013-10-24 04:24:48 PM
sticky buns, damnit, sticky buns
 
2013-10-24 04:25:11 PM

Shrugging Atlas: 3 star event.  Meh.

Guy should have parachuted into a flatbed car on a moving train and started to unleash the fury with a mini-gun and sticky bombs.


Two-star at best.  The cops don't bump you up to three until you kill one of their own.

But then all you need to do is hang out at a wind farm for a while.
 
2013-10-24 04:30:53 PM

radarlove: Shrugging Atlas: 3 star event.  Meh.

Guy should have parachuted into a flatbed car on a moving train and started to unleash the fury with a mini-gun and sticky bombs.

Two-star at best.  The cops don't bump you up to three until you kill one of their own.

But then all you need to do is hang out at a wind farm for a while.


I'm a fan of hiding under overpasses in the city. With the right ones, the cops will run right past you and ignore you, as if you're one of the homeless people they usually don't give a shiat about.

And by the way, I want to take this opportunity to say the Rhino tank was the worst $3 million I ever spent. It blows up as soon as any other vehicles explode too close to it. It's weak as hell.
 
2013-10-24 04:47:26 PM
1. As much as I appreciate a civilian trying to help, this is proof that having a CCW does not make you a badass crimefighter. I'm guessing that final confrontation went a bit differently in his head.

2. "The carjacker is described as being in his 30s, with a medium build and a goatee, wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt with a gray vest and dark pants." So... did no one think that the man's race might be an important part of his description, or am I just supposed to assume that since he's jacking in the D, it's obvious?
 
2013-10-24 04:51:36 PM

ZeroCorpse: radarlove: Shrugging Atlas: 3 star event.  Meh.

Guy should have parachuted into a flatbed car on a moving train and started to unleash the fury with a mini-gun and sticky bombs.

Two-star at best.  The cops don't bump you up to three until you kill one of their own.

But then all you need to do is hang out at a wind farm for a while.

I'm a fan of hiding under overpasses in the city. With the right ones, the cops will run right past you and ignore you, as if you're one of the homeless people they usually don't give a shiat about.

And by the way, I want to take this opportunity to say the Rhino tank was the worst $3 million I ever spent. It blows up as soon as any other vehicles explode too close to it. It's weak as hell.


Right? I bought one expecting endless mayhem. 

I blew up a car that was about 15 feet in front of me, and it took my tank with it. Worst money I ever spent.
 
2013-10-24 04:55:39 PM

apotheosis27: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Should have hit a stop Pay and spray.

/semantics


I stand corrected.

Let me buy you dinner at Cluckin' Bell.
 
2013-10-24 04:59:22 PM

radarlove: Shrugging Atlas: 3 star event.  Meh.

Guy should have parachuted into a flatbed car on a moving train and started to unleash the fury with a mini-gun and sticky bombs.

Two-star at best.  The cops don't bump you up to three until you kill one of their own.

But then all you need to do is hang out at a wind farm for a while.


Haha, I love doing that too. Helicopters are no match for wind power.
 
2013-10-24 05:05:43 PM

Medic Zero: Freep? Yeah, not clicking that.


The Detroit Free Press is over a century and a half old and does good reporting.  Or are you too dumb to know that?
 
2013-10-24 05:14:45 PM

ZeroCorpse: radarlove: Shrugging Atlas: 3 star event.  Meh.

Guy should have parachuted into a flatbed car on a moving train and started to unleash the fury with a mini-gun and sticky bombs.

Two-star at best.  The cops don't bump you up to three until you kill one of their own.

But then all you need to do is hang out at a wind farm for a while.

I'm a fan of hiding under overpasses in the city. With the right ones, the cops will run right past you and ignore you, as if you're one of the homeless people they usually don't give a shiat about.

And by the way, I want to take this opportunity to say the Rhino tank was the worst $3 million I ever spent. It blows up as soon as any other vehicles explode too close to it. It's weak as hell.


Second.  My first time out in it I died just from running over other cars.  Lame.  Don't grudge the money though, as my $37 million from the last heist is now $600 million due to the stock market and not playing for a few weeks.  Still have most of Lester's assassinations too.
 
2013-10-24 05:47:33 PM

miniflea: Still have most of Lester's assassinations too.

I really believe those are the most entertaining missions.

Trevor's steal famous people's stuff a close second.
 
2013-10-24 06:01:18 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Should have hit a stop and spray.


+1
There is a reason why I have you on my favorites.

/That and the awesome women you post.
 
2013-10-24 06:09:27 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: miniflea: Still have most of Lester's assassinations too.
I really believe those are the most entertaining missions.

Trevor's steal famous people's stuff a close second.


Should probably go back and do all the side stuff.  I rushed through the story because I read that the only really big payout was at the end, but now that I've done that every time I start the game up I just drive around until I provoke the cops somehow, and usually turn it off once they kill me.
 
2013-10-24 06:16:40 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Medic Zero: Freep? Yeah, not clicking that.

The Detroit Free Press is over a century and a half old and does good reporting.  Or are you too dumb to know that?


Come on. I live in Detroit, and I have to consciously remind myself that freep.com freeper. It's an easy mistake to make.
 
2013-10-24 06:17:58 PM

Aidan: JohnAnnArbor: Medic Zero: Freep? Yeah, not clicking that.

The Detroit Free Press is over a century and a half old and does good reporting.  Or are you too dumb to know that?

Come on. I live in Detroit, and I have to consciously remind myself that freep.com freeper. It's an easy mistake to make.


Dammit. I live in Michigan, not Detroit. Typing under influence of cat. :\
 
2013-10-24 06:42:35 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Medic Zero: Freep? Yeah, not clicking that.

The Detroit Free Press is over a century and a half old and does good reporting.  Or are you too dumb to know that?


Agreed. The Detroit Free Press gave us Mitch Albom, among others.
 
2013-10-24 08:08:16 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Medic Zero: Freep? Yeah, not clicking that.

The Detroit Free Press is over a century and a half old and does good reporting.  Or are you too dumb to know that?


You say dumb, I say ignorant. For some reason I thought it was a Freeper site. I'm familiar with the Detroit Free Press and their good rep, just wasn't familiar with their websites name and its unfortunate similarity to one of the worst dens of villiany out there.

Thanks for clearing that up!
 
2013-10-24 09:14:42 PM

miniflea: ZeroCorpse: radarlove: Shrugging Atlas: 3 star event.  Meh.

Guy should have parachuted into a flatbed car on a moving train and started to unleash the fury with a mini-gun and sticky bombs.

Two-star at best.  The cops don't bump you up to three until you kill one of their own.

But then all you need to do is hang out at a wind farm for a while.

I'm a fan of hiding under overpasses in the city. With the right ones, the cops will run right past you and ignore you, as if you're one of the homeless people they usually don't give a shiat about.

And by the way, I want to take this opportunity to say the Rhino tank was the worst $3 million I ever spent. It blows up as soon as any other vehicles explode too close to it. It's weak as hell.

Second.  My first time out in it I died just from running over other cars.  Lame.  Don't grudge the money though, as my $37 million from the last heist is now $600 million due to the stock market and not playing for a few weeks.  Still have most of Lester's assassinations too.


Careful, getting your money to the 32-bit signed integer cap (2.147 billion) causes you to roll over to negative.
 
2013-10-25 05:25:41 AM

Strategeryz0r: ZeroCorpse: radarlove: Shrugging Atlas: 3 star event.  Meh.

Guy should have parachuted into a flatbed car on a moving train and started to unleash the fury with a mini-gun and sticky bombs.

Two-star at best.  The cops don't bump you up to three until you kill one of their own.

But then all you need to do is hang out at a wind farm for a while.

I'm a fan of hiding under overpasses in the city. With the right ones, the cops will run right past you and ignore you, as if you're one of the homeless people they usually don't give a shiat about.

And by the way, I want to take this opportunity to say the Rhino tank was the worst $3 million I ever spent. It blows up as soon as any other vehicles explode too close to it. It's weak as hell.

Right? I bought one expecting endless mayhem. 

I blew up a car that was about 15 feet in front of me, and it took my tank with it. Worst money I ever spent.


1. go to the base and wait for a tank to drive close to the gate 2. Jack it 3. Wash your hands and steal the tank 4. Drive into hills around base and kill helicopters so cops lose sight of you. 5.  Wait for wanted level to disappear 6. Save 3 million.
 
2013-10-25 05:31:41 AM

Danger Avoid Death: JohnAnnArbor: Medic Zero: Freep? Yeah, not clicking that.

The Detroit Free Press is over a century and a half old and does good reporting.  Or are you too dumb to know that?

Agreed. The Detroit Free Press gave us Mitch Albom, among others.


Gave us Mitch Albom?  That's like giving someone anal warts.
 
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