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(The Register)   HP has designed an efficient smiting computer   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 37
    More: Interesting, CEO, free cash flow, HuffPost, computers, god  
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2486 clicks; posted to Geek » on 24 Oct 2013 at 10:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-24 08:54:08 AM  
boourns.dynu.net

Also.  God is left handed.
 
2013-10-24 08:54:50 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: [boourns.dynu.net image 391x500]

Also.  God is left handed.


beat me to it.
 
2013-10-24 09:29:29 AM  
Yeah, but it can only be used by a lvl 20 Paladin.
 
2013-10-24 09:40:31 AM  
Smite me oh mighty smiter
 
2013-10-24 09:42:35 AM  
Whoever let Meg Whitman anywhere near the top of a Fortune 500 company needs to have their heads examined.
 
2013-10-24 10:20:57 AM  
deaconbrianwentz.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-24 10:23:59 AM  

UberDave: Yeah, but it can only be used by a lvl 20 Paladin.


I think Clerics can use that at some point...

/we win the nerdy comments award for this..
 
2013-10-24 10:27:42 AM  
I do not understand all the hate I've seen for HP PCs.  I've owned several, both brand new and refurbished/used,
and they've always been rock solid, and have seamlessly run Linux without any need of extra tinkering.

It is, in fact, my preferred brand.  Much better than Dell, in my experience.
 
2013-10-24 10:35:14 AM  
Sorry, Meg, you've already been beaten to the punch. Jobs' death was only so that he could personally deliver the first order for this:

i1313.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-24 10:38:13 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: Whoever let Meg Whitman anywhere near the top of a Fortune 500 company needs to have their heads examined.


As an HP employee, I'm getting a kick...

/got acquired, went from employee 47 to 215,893
 
2013-10-24 10:38:31 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: I do not understand all the hate I've seen for HP PCs.  I've owned several, both brand new and refurbished/used,
and they've always been rock solid, and have seamlessly run Linux without any need of extra tinkering.

It is, in fact, my preferred brand.  Much better than Dell, in my experience.


We got a stack of HP laptops a few years back for some health outreach program.  Every. Single. One. had a problem with the Ethernet *and* the power port.  Never had a problem even close to that with Dells.

/at least, the enterprise products
//home consumer products, OTOH, can be hit or miss
 
2013-10-24 10:38:46 AM  
My computer is ~5,000 Hadoop instances.
 
2013-10-24 10:47:05 AM  

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: Sorry, Meg, you've already been beaten to the punch. Jobs' death was only so that he could personally deliver the first order for this:

[i1313.photobucket.com image 850x620]


Some sort of trashcan with USB and HDMI?
 
2013-10-24 10:47:17 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-24 10:52:31 AM  
So, the computer GOD wants is a crappy knockoff of the iMac?
 
2013-10-24 11:01:27 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: Whoever let Meg Whitman anywhere near the top of a Fortune 500 company needs to have their heads examined.


She's working hard to return HP back their former glory.

idea-sandbox.com
 
2013-10-24 11:02:01 AM  
www.rehupa.com
 
2013-10-24 11:17:32 AM  

pastorkius: Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: Sorry, Meg, you've already been beaten to the punch. Jobs' death was only so that he could personally deliver the first order for this:

[i1313.photobucket.com image 850x620]

Some sort of trashcan with USB and HDMI?


No, no, no. It's a smokeless ashtray. Sheesh...

On a more serious note, if more manufacturers are turning to Xeon processors isn't that a good thing for everybody?
 
2013-10-24 12:08:15 PM  
And since it's from HP I bet it's stuffed with lots of free trials of crapware.
 
2013-10-24 12:13:16 PM  
Night Night Cream Puff:

On a more serious note, if more manufacturers are turning to Xeon processors isn't that a good thing for everybody?

Most OEM's already have a line that uses Xeon's.  You'll find them listed under "Workstations" and obviously "Server", there is often little difference between a pedestal server and a Workstation so some cross-over is bound to happen.
 
2013-10-24 12:14:00 PM  
HP's decline started long before the Whit came along. I worked then in the '90s as a contractor and their 'hire from within' meant none of their full-time employees had a clue as to what their job entailed. Occasionally, HP would lay-off all of the contractors to save money, but 6 months later, they'd all be back.
 
2013-10-24 12:19:24 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Whoever let Meg Whitman anywhere near the top of a Fortune 500 company needs to have their heads examined.


I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt at first... but one of her latest moves is to investigate pulling all HP employees to the office. As an HP employee whose office is 35 miles away, over an hour commute (2~3 during winter), and that office is a massive and oppressive cube-farm (Pontiac, MI) - I can say she is entirely out of her mind. Most of my fellow team members are spread around the US - Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, California, Nevada, Colorado, Virginia, Florida.... our team is just fine with teleconferences, and we must be getting stuff done, as we have been making a GOOD profit solidly since I joined this group in 2006.

Many of my fellow team members don't even have a second car to use to go to the office. Personally, I just started leasing a car, on the premise that I telecommuted, so I didn't need a lot of mileage.

Now Meg thinks it's a good idea to make us all commute to distant workplaces located in high-traffic-congested areas to work in an environment that is best described as dystopian, where we will STILL not see our own team members, and instead will simply feel isolated and alone sitting in the middle of a dozen other groups we have nothing to do with. Great.

As for the Z1, if its great, why not issue it to us developers? Oh yeah... because you won't even upgrade my laptop, 1 year past its expiration date, which blue-screens when I try and connect to the company intranet, filled with bloatware, and sounds like a jet engine taking off every 5 minutes when it runs your scans. The laptop I only use to enter time, but would also have to use to develop if I have to go to the office, instead of the quad-core, 32GB RAM, dual SSD RAID-0 array setup that is my main, personal computer I use now for work.

Ugh.

Still, our group is pretty decent (we'd probably get a waiver if they actually were stupid enough to start forcing people into the office), job security is pretty decent (I have 26 weeks severance thanks to my seniority), and the government just renewed our contract (we actually do good work for them too).

Sigh.... Meg will probably not last another year or two anyway, and yet another CEO will come in to replace her.
 
2013-10-24 12:35:28 PM  

AbiNormal: And since it's from HP I bet it's stuffed with lots of free trials of crapware.


I'm thinking of buying a slimline HP as my media center, so I guess on day 1 I'll have to reformat and install Ubuntu because of all that bloatware shiat.
 
2013-10-24 12:40:55 PM  
Carly really ran H-P into the ground.

//Hubbie's a long-time H-P engineer
 
2013-10-24 12:45:01 PM  

AbiNormal: And since it's from HP I bet it's stuffed with lots of free trials of crapware.


If consumers would pay OEMs for software, there would not be free trials preloaded.

They will not, so they get the $0 value their money voted for.

/I do not work for HP, but I know that YOU are to blame
 
2013-10-24 12:46:03 PM  
"If God needed a computer, this is the one he would build".

...So, it prints on stone tablets and resurrects previously-deleted data?

...It provides output in fable, metaphor, and cryptic prophesy?
 
2013-10-24 12:50:50 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: UberDave: Yeah, but it can only be used by a lvl 20 Paladin.

I think Clerics can use that at some point...

/we win the nerdy comments award for this..


It's got no sharp edges, so clerics are definitely allowed.

/bow before my nerdiness
 
2013-10-24 12:57:30 PM  
Apparently, Meg Whitman hates God so much that she thinks it is retarded enough to buy a pile of shiat from HP.
 
2013-10-24 02:06:36 PM  

UberDave: Yeah, but it can only be used by a lvl 20 Paladin.


What's a paladin?
 
2013-10-24 02:24:59 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: I do not understand all the hate I've seen for HP PCs.  I've owned several, both brand new and refurbished/used,
and they've always been rock solid, and have seamlessly run Linux without any need of extra tinkering.

It is, in fact, my preferred brand.  Much better than Dell, in my experience.


Me too. I've always tended to build my own or upgrade what I have, since PCs make upgrading, adding drives etc so easy, but last time I found a HP PC on ebay that was mint and still covered by the original HP warranty but being sold with no hard drive. So I just dropped the drive from my old PC into it and upgraded the video to a dual monitor setup and it's been great. No problems at all. Very quiet, very compact.
Then when I upgraded to W8 when they were doing the $40 deal I decided to upgrade my monitors as well. Found someone on ebay selling two identical, almost new, 19 inch HD widescreen monitors for a great price and they just happened to be HP as well. I'd also bought an ex display colour laser printer, brand new, never been plugged in, all toners still factory sealed, for a bargain price and that again just happened to be HP.
So almost all my setup now is HP, purely by accident, and I'm very happy with them. Of course since I did a fresh install onto a blank HD I don't have any pre-installed crap on it.

TL:DR: Have HP stuff, got them all very cheap, all been great.
 
2013-10-24 02:35:42 PM  
From the HP website:

4 GB RAM

I'm sure God would put more RAM than that in. My laptop has that much, yeesh.

1 TB 7200 rpm SATA

That's it? A plain jane  7200 RPM drive? No SSD? And 1 TB to boot? Whitman, please.

Look, the only thing these machines have my home or work machine beat on is the processor. And they're nearly $2,000 cheaper. I'd prefer to think God is smarter than that.
 
2013-10-24 03:51:35 PM  

pastorkius: Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: Sorry, Meg, you've already been beaten to the punch. Jobs' death was only so that he could personally deliver the first order for this:

[i1313.photobucket.com image 850x620]

Some sort of trashcan with USB and HDMI?


Yes, well, it has Thunderbolt too.
 
2013-10-24 07:06:58 PM  

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: Sorry, Meg, you've already been beaten to the punch. Jobs' death was only so that he could personally deliver the first order for this:

[i1313.photobucket.com image 850x620]


Yup.  Better "pretty much everything" except internal storage options.  For a few hundred more bucks plus one of the 2560x1440 monitors I already have and I'd be way ahead.  But I built a beastly gaming rig last year and it's still ahead of the curve so no new computer for me this year.  Except the laptop I bought earlier this year.
 
2013-10-24 07:13:48 PM  
Full disclosure:  The laptop I bought this year was a HeaP.  If I were buying my ideal machine, it wouldn't be this one.  The trackpad is finicky and often interprets my input as being double-finger when I'm only touching it with one and the status lights are on the side.  What knuckle-dragging mouth-breather thought that was a smart move?  And the viewing angle sucks.  But it has a good 4-core processor, has a 17.3" display, supports two external monitors, has USB3, and cost $305.
 
2013-10-24 08:55:42 PM  

jtown: and cost $305.


I suppose that's the thing, I've had cheap Dell's and expensive Dell's and similarly for HP and indeed Compaq when they existed.  Frankly a £1200 Dell laptop is probably not going to be any better built than the £399 cheapy with free printer.

It's actually rather annoying that the only two real choices for a workhorse are either Apple or Lenovo (bar the Carbon X1 it's total junk).
 
2013-10-25 01:06:18 AM  
As an HP tech, I have to question why the Z1.

As stated, it's and all-in-one like the iMac, but it's easy(er) to open and change the hardware.

It's not really that powerful of a workstation.

The Z820... that's more than a monster.  up to 24 cores and 512GB of RAM, with plenty of room for more drives and cards.
 
2013-10-25 08:49:12 AM  

Vaneshi: jtown: and cost $305.

I suppose that's the thing, I've had cheap Dell's and expensive Dell's and similarly for HP and indeed Compaq when they existed.  Frankly a £1200 Dell laptop is probably not going to be any better built than the £399 cheapy with free printer.

It's actually rather annoying that the only two real choices for a workhorse are either Apple or Lenovo (bar the Carbon X1 it's total junk).


Have you looked at the Panasonic Toughbooks?  If you want rugged, they're hard to beat, and the F9 and SX2 look pretty much like standard corporate laptops.
 
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