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(Chron)   Mother of the Year uses superglue to repair son's genitals that she nearly tore off   (chron.com ) divider line
    More: Sick, bail hearing, Bexar County, Fort Sam Houston, mothers  
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8924 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2013 at 9:56 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



92 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2013-10-24 09:16:46 AM  
The phrase "Grab life by the balls" is metaphorical nor does it mention anything about a child.

A more relevant phrase is "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I know the feeling of being frustrated by a child, but, what the hell is wrong with you?
 
2013-10-24 09:53:53 AM  
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
2013-10-24 09:55:17 AM  
Anyone else cringe every second whilst reading that?
 
2013-10-24 09:57:48 AM  
A good thing sticking to flesh is what superglue does best. I think that's what it was designed for, right?
 
2013-10-24 09:58:00 AM  
OW! MY BALLS!!!!
 
2013-10-24 10:00:02 AM  
Wow, what an idiot.
 
2013-10-24 10:00:05 AM  
Stories like this make me want to get all stabby. I hate people. I hate people so freaking much.
 
2013-10-24 10:00:23 AM  
This kid...this poor, poor kid.  He doesn't stand a chance now.  "intimacy and mother issues don't begin to cover it"


Seriously, that article read like a supervillains backstory.
 
2013-10-24 10:01:05 AM  
memeorama.com
 
2013-10-24 10:01:07 AM  
My balls have gone into hiding.
 
GBB
2013-10-24 10:02:11 AM  
www.lobshots.com
"You idiot!"
 
2013-10-24 10:02:29 AM  
Why did I click on that, why?  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
2013-10-24 10:04:01 AM  

gnosis301: A good thing sticking to flesh is what superglue does best. I think that's what it was designed for, right?


Yep.  It was originally invented to securely field-dress wounds.  It just happened to be ridiculously good at sticking other things together, too.  It's got great tensile strength, but it dries too brittle to withstand a lot of torsional stress.
 
2013-10-24 10:05:25 AM  

gnosis301: A good thing sticking to flesh is what superglue does best. I think that's what it was designed for, right?


yeah, i was going to say something along the lines of using superglue for its purpose... then i read the article and cried and crossed my legs and cried again... and... fark.  well, that would fark me up for a long time.  good luck, kid.
 
2013-10-24 10:05:51 AM  
076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com
There really is nothing like a torn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
 
2013-10-24 10:07:22 AM  

GBB: [www.lobshots.com image 850x478]
"You idiot!"


Came in to make sure this was here, thanks.
 
2013-10-24 10:08:12 AM  
I'm guessing that the hospital probably used hospital-grade superglue to close the wound...
 
2013-10-24 10:09:05 AM  

Carn: Why did I click on that, why?  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


/bears repeating.
 
2013-10-24 10:09:26 AM  

5monkeys: Stories like this make me want to get all stabby. I hate people. I hate people so freaking much.


Me too. And yet I read these damned stories anyway knowing what I'm in store for.

/Daddy ate my eyes
 
2013-10-24 10:09:59 AM  
I'd normally post my suggestion of giving her the electric chair, but I'm in a relatively good mood this morning. Give her a chainsaw hysterectomy instead.
 
GBB
2013-10-24 10:12:12 AM  

Hawnkee: I'd normally post my suggestion of giving her the electric chair, but I'm in a relatively good mood this morning. Give her a chainsaw hysterectomy instead.


Band name!

/Called it!
 
2013-10-24 10:13:13 AM  

5monkeys: Stories like this make me want to get all stabby. I hate people. I hate people so freaking much.


Also, too.
 
GBB
2013-10-24 10:13:21 AM  

GBB: Hawnkee: I'd normally post my suggestion of giving her the electric chair, but I'm in a relatively good mood this morning. Give her a chainsaw hysterectomy instead.

Band name!

/Called it!


Damn it, already exists.
 
2013-10-24 10:16:41 AM  

GBB: [www.lobshots.com image 850x478]
"You idiot!"


"That was my mom's favorite part!"
 
2013-10-24 10:16:50 AM  

toejam: 5monkeys: Stories like this make me want to get all stabby. I hate people. I hate people so freaking much.

Me too. And yet I read these damned stories anyway knowing what I'm in store for.

/Daddy ate my eyes


Goddamnitsomuch. Every time I forget about that story...
 
2013-10-24 10:18:04 AM  
Man, fark this biatch with a rusty pike. Fark her right up the ass. I'm so thankful that I managed to get out of my marriage with custody of my kid early on before things could get that bad. It was bad enough my ex was barely feeding our kid and almost never changing his diapers and screaming at him and hitting him while I was on field exercises. I can almost imagine it would have gotten worse had I not found out before going to Iraq and she would have been alone with him for months.
 
2013-10-24 10:19:06 AM  
Holy farking shiat! Why the hell did I click on that?
 
2013-10-24 10:19:08 AM  
I did this to myself when I was a kid by popping a wheelie on my bike, having the front wheel pop off and go rolling away, having my forks jam into the ground throwing me violently into not just the crossbar but the square box thing that hold the handlebars on (it has four bolt heads sticking out of it) - yes there was blood......


/still pro-created so I guess it was OK
 
2013-10-24 10:19:11 AM  
And there are still people that call spanking child abuse.
 
2013-10-24 10:21:58 AM  
The worse thought I have is...what if they hadn't been caught. If Dad hadn't caught the injury what the fark would have ended up happening to that poor little boy. What's already happened to him over the last five years?

shechive.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-24 10:23:26 AM  
"Due to the child's extreme physical pain, the medical staff had to administer medication," the affidavit said. "The child was taken into surgery to repair the damage to his scrotum."

Who is writing this?  For the love of God, we need to invest more in our English classes.  I imagine they meant to say something like "had to administer anesthesia."
 
2013-10-24 10:24:26 AM  

ArkAngel: Anyone else cringe every second whilst reading that?


Yeah, and I'm female.  WTF woman?
 
2013-10-24 10:24:51 AM  
Jennifer Marie Vargas, 34, with assault within maritime and territorial jurisdiction resulting in serious bodily injury.

How the hell did maritime law get dragged into this nightmare?
 
2013-10-24 10:25:50 AM  
Hey!  I've got a great idea! Let's kill this woman.
No, really.
 
2013-10-24 10:31:19 AM  

GBB: Hawnkee: I'd normally post my suggestion of giving her the electric chair, but I'm in a relatively good mood this morning. Give her a chainsaw hysterectomy instead.

Band name!

/Called it!


Sure, if you don't mind womyn's groups protesting your every concert. Hey, free publicity!
 
2013-10-24 10:35:40 AM  
Biatch is lucky dad didn't go all "temporary insanity" on her ass. I know that my wife could never do this to any of our boys - she simply isn't capable of doing something like that. If she ever did though, I can't even explain the rage that I would feel. I don't know if I could control it or not. Thankfully I don't believe that I will ever have to find out.
 
2013-10-24 10:37:15 AM  

ArkAngel: Anyone else cringe every second whilst reading that?


marketsinmotion.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-24 10:37:18 AM  
Aw, Hell no.   o_O

i28.photobucket.com
Needs moar puppies.
 
2013-10-24 10:41:23 AM  

Albert911emt: Wow, what an idiot.


I know, right?  EVERYBODY knows you're supposed to use duct tape.
 
2013-10-24 10:43:06 AM  
Actually super glue can be used to close a wound, hospitals do it often. However they use a slightly different type of super glue that's less irritating and more flexible.
 
2013-10-24 10:43:08 AM  
I hope she suffers in prison. Incarcerated women aren't too fond of fellow inmates who abuse their own kids. Especially in a manner such as this.
 
2013-10-24 10:43:42 AM  
The woman is a bad mother, yeah, and probably has some kind of mental/emotional disorder(s) going on, if she got mad enough at a kid to tear his nutsack. Yes I think it is right to be angry at her, probably let her cool her heels in jail for a while and prohibit her from unsupervised contact with kids, but I also feel sorry for her. There are three ways I can think of that a person could come to harm their own child like this - learning from childhood that violence is an acceptable way of dealing with problems, a total lack of impulse control (see: mental illness and/or brain damage), or a total inability to empathize with others.
 
2013-10-24 10:45:59 AM  

Shaviv: The woman is a bad mother, yeah, and probably has some kind of mental/emotional disorder(s) going on, if she got mad enough at a kid to tear his nutsack. Yes I think it is right to be angry at her, probably let her cool her heels in jail for a while and prohibit her from unsupervised contact with kids, but I also feel sorry for her. There are three ways I can think of that a person could come to harm their own child like this - learning from childhood that violence is an acceptable way of dealing with problems, a total lack of impulse control (see: mental illness and/or brain damage), or a total inability to empathize with others.


Or being a cold evil biatch.
 
2013-10-24 10:51:19 AM  

ArkAngel: Anyone else cringe every second whilst reading that?


I'm pretty sure that I cringed so violently that I'll never be able to walk upright again.

Maybe I can get a job doing Geico ads.
 
2013-10-24 10:54:35 AM  

ReapTheChaos: Actually super glue can be used to close a wound, hospitals do it often. However they use a slightly different type of super glue that's less irritating and more flexible.


I've used superglue several times to close wounds brought on by my own ineptitude.

Like the time I was using a claw hammer to open a cocout. I had cracked one part of the shell open, and I hooked the claw into part of the remaining shell and pulled hard while holding the coconut with the other hand. Well the shell breaks free and I slice  about 2 inches down my wrist. As I stand bleeding in the kitchen, I think, "Great they are going to think I killed myself because I was depressed I couldn't open a coconut."

Turns out it was only a (though somewhat deep) fleshwound. The worst part is that I had to pick coconut shell bits out of the wound first. But a quick rinse, a papertowel patdown, and a squirt of superglue, and I was back in action.

Never ripped my own nuts off though. yet.
 
2013-10-24 10:55:10 AM  
At least she was mindful enough to apply rubbing alcohol on the wound to disinfect it.
 
2013-10-24 10:55:59 AM  

cc_rider: Aw, Hell no.   o_O

[i28.photobucket.com image 850x982]
Needs moar puppies.


The irony that most of those puppies will be spayed or neutered is not lost on me.
 
2013-10-24 10:58:29 AM  
i39.tinypic.com

/I am a Very Bad Man.
 
2013-10-24 11:05:22 AM  

MythDragon: As I stand bleeding in the kitchen, I think, "Great they are going to think I killed myself because I was depressed I couldn't open a coconut."


I got a lot of enjoyment out of this comment. Thanks!
 
2013-10-24 11:06:53 AM  
img.fark.net
 
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