If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Houston Press)   A taco shop claims a rival taco shop stole their taco bible. There are taco bibles?   (blogs.houstonpress.com) divider line 47
    More: Weird, Texas Taco Co., taco bible, lawsuits, stole, Torchy, Texas, Baytown, tacos  
•       •       •

1496 clicks; posted to Geek » on 23 Oct 2013 at 6:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-23 05:30:35 PM  
"When grabbing the soft taco shells, Jesus said to them, "Take this, all of you, for this is my Body. The Body of new and everlasting Guac. Mix it with a side of beef and cheese as that shall be the mixture to greet you in Taco Heaven".

After dinner, He grabbed the EXTREME cup of Baja Blast and said "Drink this, all of you, for this is my blood. It is the blood of the new everlasting taco covenent and it is delicious' Mark 18: 3-12
 
2013-10-23 05:31:38 PM  
I believe it was entitled "Going Rogue"
 
2013-10-23 06:17:47 PM  
Wanted for questioning

2.images.comedycentral.com
 
2013-10-23 06:45:43 PM  
fc03.deviantart.net
 
2013-10-23 06:45:58 PM  
fc00.deviantart.net
 
2013-10-23 06:48:44 PM  
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison my tacos.
 
2013-10-23 06:59:20 PM  
"Who stole what now?"

www.classicmedia.tv
 
2013-10-23 07:02:42 PM  
images.sodahead.com
 
2013-10-23 07:13:43 PM  
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal tacos.

Juan 3:16
 
2013-10-23 07:38:04 PM  
You would think that the people who received the recipe information would have bothered to change around the wording, but then again I'm probably giving humanity too much credit.

Also, I need to find a decent Tex Mex place.  Pickings are slim up here in PA.
 
2013-10-23 07:43:55 PM  
holy books of deliciousness, but there has been a schism in the in the followers of this book. Do they go with the more traditional Taco as worshiped at the Taco Carts and Trucks of our blessed city,  or do they go with the way of the new Taco dressed to appeal to the masses. This new Taco has been altered from its original form to include additional items that weren't available to the Taco Bible writers of old.
 
2013-10-23 07:46:33 PM  
And Holy guacamole.
 
2013-10-23 07:46:43 PM  
All hail Tuesday, the holiest day of the taco bible.
 
2013-10-23 08:07:42 PM  

Aar1012: "When grabbing the soft taco shells, Jesus said to them, "Take this, all of you, for this is my Body. The Body of new and everlasting Guac. Mix it with a side of beef and cheese as that shall be the mixture to greet you in Taco Heaven".

After dinner, He grabbed the EXTREME cup of Baja Blast and said "Drink this, all of you, for this is my blood. It is the blood of the new everlasting taco covenent and it is delicious."  Skidmark 18: 3-12


Oh look, I fixed that for you. Yer welcome.
 
2013-10-23 08:14:08 PM  
www.lies.com
 
2013-10-23 08:27:27 PM  
Taco bibles?  I don't know nothin' 'bout any of that...

Know som'thin' 'bout Tijuana Bibles tho'...
 
2013-10-23 08:37:21 PM  
No one made a Jesus = Jesús joke yet? I would, but I'm too lazy. Like Jesus. Either one.
 
2013-10-23 08:39:36 PM  
In the begining there was a table
On the table were scattered beer bottles
empty save one:

The bottle of Corona was half full
floating within were two cigarette butts.

The people looked around, their thirst quenched
but their stomachs growling.

The Great Taco moved among them
They could not see, but the smell carresed their nostrils
The aroma touched their hearts and stomachs
Understanding was within them and their hunger peaked.

The Great Taco showed them a vision of corn tortillas
Folded in half they were and fried crispy and golden
The grease was still hot and the shells glistened with holy light
And mankind knew it was good.

The Great Taco caused meat to fall from the sky
Shreadded beef, spiced and grilled with onions and peppers
The beef filled the shells
And mankind knew it was good.

Dark, foreboding clouds filled the heavens
From these clouds rained sour cream and guacamole
Some shells were touched by cream, others by guacamole
Some caught both and others, none
Mankind saw the choices, the alternatives, the combos
And mankind knew it was good.

Lettuce and tomato grew up from the ground
Placing itself within the shells
Cool lettuce, cool tomatoes, hot beef
Crunchy lettuce and shells
Soft beef and tomatoes
Contrast of textures was within the taco
And mankind knew it was good.

The Great Taco raised his hand
And a great lake of salsa appeared
Cold and spicy with a hint of cilantro and lime
Salsa touched the tacos and burned the tongues
And mankind knew it was good.

The Great Taco then appeared to mankind saying:
Beef is the One True Ingredient
But chicken or fish or venison or buffalo
Or any creature that crawls or walks or flies or swims
Can a Taco be made.

Remember, be it crunchy or soft
you should see the taco in all foods
But always hold the taco as the one.

Mankind watched the Great Taco ascend to the sky
Where he always remains then gorged themselves
Tacos were consumed in ones and twos
and by the handful
And mankind knew it was good.

Burp.
 
2013-10-23 08:48:05 PM  
The Last Supper was at Taco Bell?
 
2013-10-23 09:14:10 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: The Last Supper was at Taco Bell?


Heathen!
 
2013-10-23 09:20:28 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: The Last Supper was at Taco Bell?


Now all restaurants are Taco Bell!
 
2013-10-23 09:37:28 PM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-10-23 09:40:10 PM  
And yea, for god did take the rancid meat and add spices, then place it upon a tortilla. And there was much rejoicing.
 
2013-10-23 09:51:12 PM  
Some kind of frito bandito.
 
2013-10-23 09:57:43 PM  

Aar1012: "When grabbing the soft taco shells, Jesus said to them, "Take this, all of you, for this is my Body. The Body of new and everlasting Guac. Mix it with a side of beef and cheese as that shall be the mixture to greet you in Taco Heaven".

After dinner, He grabbed the EXTREME cup of Baja Blast and said "Drink this, all of you, for this is my blood. It is the blood of the new everlasting taco covenent and it is delicious' Mark 18: 3-12


Yeah, this is how I know you are a false prophet.  Not even the strongest faith can bind "Baja Blast" and "delicious."
 
2013-10-23 10:10:14 PM  
More of a grimoire than a Bible, most likely.
 
2013-10-23 10:40:31 PM  
I sense a new reality series. Taco Wars or maybe Taco Boss.
 
2013-10-23 10:46:56 PM  
Torchy's tacos sucks ass.
pics3.city-data.com
Bow before kens!
 
2013-10-23 10:57:03 PM  
28 posts and no "taco" images yet?!  You're slipping Fark.
 
2013-10-23 11:08:32 PM  

orclover: Torchy's tacos sucks ass.

Bow before kens!


They opened one here in Fort Worth. I wasn't impressed
 
2013-10-23 11:08:59 PM  

eltejon: 28 posts and no "taco" images yet?!  You're slipping Fark.


www.recordsale.de
 
2013-10-23 11:09:09 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: orclover: Torchy's tacos sucks ass.

Bow before kens!

They opened one here in Fort Worth. I wasn't impressed


Torchy's, that is
 
2013-10-23 11:14:59 PM  
Sweet Baby Jeebus, I would settle for something freaking EDIBLE here. Small West Texas town, you'd think they would get tacos right, but NO, they are so freaking spicy hot, like  it's burning chunks of molten lava. EVERY. SINGLE. TACO.

FOUR freaking places here and they all serve the same damn recipes from the same group of people.
 
2013-10-23 11:26:45 PM  

Artcurus: Sweet Baby Jeebus, I would settle for something freaking EDIBLE here. Small West Texas town, you'd think they would get tacos right, but NO, they are so freaking spicy hot, like  it's burning chunks of molten lava. EVERY. SINGLE. TACO.

FOUR freaking places here and they all serve the same damn recipes from the same group of people.


Odessa?  Midland?  Amarillo?  Lubbock? Slaton?  Post?

C'mon man!  I need detail!
 
2013-10-24 12:11:00 AM  

Kuroshin: Taco bibles?  I don't know nothin' 'bout any of that...

Know som'thin' 'bout Tijuana Bibles tho'...


like the one where Dagwood Bumstead munches on Blondie's taco?
 
2013-10-24 12:42:02 AM  

Dallymo: Aar1012: "When grabbing the soft taco shells, Jesus said to them, "Take this, all of you, for this is my Body. The Body of new and everlasting Guac. Mix it with a side of beef and cheese as that shall be the mixture to greet you in Taco Heaven".

After dinner, He grabbed the EXTREME cup of Baja Blast and said "Drink this, all of you, for this is my blood. It is the blood of the new everlasting taco covenent and it is delicious' Mark 18: 3-12

Yeah, this is how I know you are a false prophet.  Not even the strongest faith can bind "Baja Blast" and "delicious."


SPLITTERS!
 
2013-10-24 01:03:44 AM  

orclover: Torchy's tacos sucks ass.
[pics3.city-data.com image 480x360]
Bow before kens!


As a newly relocated resident of Austin I will have to further investigate

/thank you
//torchy's sucks, went there once, never again
 
2013-10-24 01:40:57 AM  
I can't help but think that San Loco Tacos in NYC has a Bible worth stealing. They sell cheap-ass Americanized crunchy tacos, but there's something about them that makes them as addictive as crack.
 
2013-10-24 02:16:29 AM  
would it be ironic if I read it while sitting on the toilet?
 
2013-10-24 08:23:17 AM  
Why taco story on Geek tab? And why would the steal taco menu from sucky taco joint? It's like I woke up on planet stupid this morning.
 
2013-10-24 09:10:04 AM  

State_College_Arsonist: You would think that the people who received the recipe information would have bothered to change around the wording, but then again I'm probably giving humanity too much credit.

Also, I need to find a decent Tex Mex place.  Pickings are slim up here in PA.


You're living in the wrong part of PA.  I'm in South Philly and there are at least a dozen Mexican-run places within six blocks of me (I like El Zarape on Passyunk, but they all seem to be good), plus an excellent American-run Mexican places (La Cantina).
 
2013-10-24 09:31:37 AM  
I don't even pretend to understand the Geek tab anymore.
 
2013-10-24 09:48:41 AM  

19 Kilo: Artcurus: Sweet Baby Jeebus, I would settle for something freaking EDIBLE here. Small West Texas town, you'd think they would get tacos right, but NO, they are so freaking spicy hot, like  it's burning chunks of molten lava. EVERY. SINGLE. TACO.

FOUR freaking places here and they all serve the same damn recipes from the same group of people.

Odessa?  Midland?  Amarillo?  Lubbock? Slaton?  Post?

C'mon man!  I need detail!


Crane. This stupid little town has actually made Fark before.
 
2013-10-24 10:08:20 AM  

Tooterfish: orclover: Torchy's tacos sucks ass.
[pics3.city-data.com image 480x360]
Bow before kens!

As a newly relocated resident of Austin I will have to further investigate

/thank you
//torchy's sucks, went there once, never again


We actually have a lot of good taco places in Austin, most of em holes in the wall kind.  Also try the "tamale house" on airport....they dont sell tamale's....strangely.  But good.  Bring cash.  Ken's gets kudos from me because they are around the corner and make big taco's.  Dont worry about rundberg though.  Just be polite, dont stare, dont leave your car unlocked.
 
2013-10-24 11:37:20 AM  
You can borrow them for free from your local bibliotaco
 
2013-10-24 11:47:24 AM  
Absolutely there's a Taco Bible.
Of course it's filled with hamburger and hot dog recipes.
 
2013-10-25 02:07:20 AM  

orclover: Tooterfish: orclover: Torchy's tacos sucks ass.
[pics3.city-data.com image 480x360]
Bow before kens!

As a newly relocated resident of Austin I will have to further investigate

/thank you
//torchy's sucks, went there once, never again

We actually have a lot of good taco places in Austin, most of em holes in the wall kind.  Also try the "tamale house" on airport....they dont sell tamale's....strangely.  But good.  Bring cash.  Ken's gets kudos from me because they are around the corner and make big taco's.  Dont worry about rundberg though.  Just be polite, dont stare, dont leave your car unlocked.


I am always polite, I only stare at things worth staring at, and I don't own a car. I am in good shape. Thanks for the tips

/IMHO i make the best breakfast tacos in town
 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report