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(Sky.com)   I'm a shark. I'm a SHAAAARK. Suck my.....OWWWWWW that hurt   (news.sky.com) divider line 46
    More: Scary, Kilauea  
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13400 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2013 at 9:28 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-22 07:58:02 PM
A picture of the surf board would be too much to ask for?
 
2013-10-22 08:20:32 PM

2wolves: A picture of the surf board would be too much to ask for?


That was my reaction - pics or GTFO.
 
2013-10-22 08:28:32 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: 2wolves: A picture of the surf board would be too much to ask for?

That was my reaction - pics or GTFO.


Third. I am disappoint.
 
2013-10-22 08:39:35 PM

antidisestablishmentarianism: Benevolent Misanthrope: 2wolves: A picture of the surf board would be too much to ask for?

That was my reaction - pics or GTFO.

Third. I am disappoint.


Here's one with the board.

http://m.thegardenisland.com/news/loca l/man-fights-off-shark/article_c 27550d8-3ade-11e3-b0e2-0019bb2963f4.ht ml?mode=jqm

/sorry on mobile

It sounds like he kicked that sharks ass.
 
2013-10-22 08:45:15 PM

AlwaysRightBoy: http://m.thegardenisland.com/news/loca l/man-fights-off-shark/article_c 27550d8-3ade-11e3-b0e2-0019bb2963f4.ht ml?mode=jqm


Not working.
 
2013-10-22 08:53:00 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: AlwaysRightBoy: http://m.thegardenisland.com/news/loca l/man-fights-off-shark/article_c 27550d8-3ade-11e3-b0e2-0019bb2963f4.ht ml?mode=jqm

Not working.


Worked for me when I pasted back into the browser. . .hmmm

Anyway the bite from the shark on the board is pretty big.
 
2013-10-22 09:09:28 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: AlwaysRightBoy: http://m.thegardenisland.com/news/loca l/man-fights-off-shark/article_c 27550d8-3ade-11e3-b0e2-0019bb2963f4.ht ml?mode=jqm

Not working.


You have to delete all the %20 that fark inserts in the link.
 
2013-10-22 09:30:16 PM
Wait!?!!??!  Sharks are fish?
 
2013-10-22 09:31:43 PM
Yes, sharks are fish. Not all fish sport that modern bony skeleton like they have at the mall.
 
2013-10-22 09:31:43 PM
Just an exploratory bite on the surfboard which would have convinced the shark to look elsewhere, but grabbing on and punching him is a good way to make sure.
 
2013-10-22 09:36:08 PM
COME ON! SERIOUSLY?

dude; the shark was just seeing if you were tasty; there's no reason to punch him in the eye. He probably would have been all; "that's no seal, that's one of those hairless monkey thingys. Those things are so greasy; and they taste like that trash that they throw in the water." And then; he'd have swam off to continue his sharkyness, elsewhere.
 
2013-10-22 09:39:55 PM
Who submits this shiat?
 
2013-10-22 09:46:35 PM

twiztedjustin: Who submits this shiat?


Personally I enjoyed reading that story.
 
2013-10-22 09:46:54 PM

iheartscotch: COME ON! SERIOUSLY?

dude; the shark was just seeing if you were tasty; there's no reason to punch him in the eye. He probably would have been all; "that's no seal, that's one of those hairless monkey thingys. Those things are so greasy; and they taste like that trash that they throw in the water." And then; he'd have swam off to continue his sharkyness, elsewhere.


whynotboth.jpg

If some toothy primitive thing tries to chomp me, I'm pulling out all the stops.
 
2013-10-22 09:48:03 PM

twiztedjustin: Who submits this shiat?


Who posts this sh*t?
 
2013-10-22 09:50:38 PM
Well, at least the story will get him free drinks for a few years.
 
2013-10-22 09:51:44 PM
I have found that a lot of predators do not expect the prey to fight back.  Being aggressive to the shark was probably something it is not normally confronted with.  I'm not marine biologist, just my 2 cents...
 
2013-10-22 09:51:44 PM
Based on the meme I thought someone grabbed a shark and started doing something entirely different...
 
2013-10-22 09:54:02 PM

almandot: Based on the meme I thought someone grabbed a shark and started doing something entirely different...


Yeah total misuse of that meme in the headline. I expected some groin action at the least.
 
2013-10-22 09:55:58 PM
I have a decent scar on my leg from a piece of broken glass that cut me. It was inside a garbage bag I was carrying to to the dumpster. The bag swung and sliced my calf.

My story is that I was cliff diving in Baja Mexico and got nipped by a nurse shark when I swam back to shore. I am not a great liar but I have pulled it off more than once. Not to be duplicitous but for amusement's sake. If questioned, I admit the truth and laugh.
 
2013-10-22 10:00:10 PM
Maybe he could have just slapped the shark with his giant brass balls.
 
2013-10-22 10:02:30 PM
Well, it makes sense. The nose contains a lot of the shark's major sensory systems, and is quite sensitive. If you need to get rid of one in a hurry, whack it in the nose a few times. Sure beats the shiat out of the US Navy training films in the 40's, advising sailors to slap the water in a rhythmic fashion to repel sharks, which we now know only attracts them.
 
2013-10-22 10:05:31 PM

noblewolf: I have found that a lot of predators do not expect the prey to fight back.  Being aggressive to the shark was probably something it is not normally confronted with.  I'm not marine biologist, just my 2 cents...


buzzlamp.com

Hot like shrinkage.
 
2013-10-22 10:09:46 PM

buckler: Sure beats the shiat out of the US Navy training films in the 40's, advising sailors to slap the water in a rhythmic fashion to repel sharks, which we now know only attracts them.


www.moviepilot.de

We was taught to get into squares, like you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo.
 
2013-10-22 10:09:48 PM

freetomato: I have a decent scar on my leg from a piece of broken glass that cut me. It was inside a garbage bag I was carrying to to the dumpster. The bag swung and sliced my calf.

My story is that I was cliff diving in Baja Mexico and got nipped by a nurse shark when I swam back to shore. I am not a great liar but I have pulled it off more than once. Not to be duplicitous but for amusement's sake. If questioned, I admit the truth and laugh.


Pick another shark. Try a thresher.
 
2013-10-22 10:11:30 PM

AlwaysRightBoy: Benevolent Misanthrope: AlwaysRightBoy: http://m.thegardenisland.com/news/loca l/man-fights-off-shark/article_c 27550d8-3ade-11e3-b0e2-0019bb2963f4.ht ml?mode=jqm

Not working.

Worked for me when I pasted back into the browser. . .hmmm

Anyway the bite from the shark on the board is pretty big.


Here ya go

I'd take a bite out of it.
 
2013-10-22 10:14:22 PM

MrHappyRotter: Wait!?!!??!  Sharks are fish?


Yes. Gills = fish generally.
 
2013-10-22 10:16:28 PM

miss diminutive: buckler: Sure beats the shiat out of the US Navy training films in the 40's, advising sailors to slap the water in a rhythmic fashion to repel sharks, which we now know only attracts them.

[www.moviepilot.de image 590x393]

We was taught to get into squares, like you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo.


Just checked your profile. I like you.
 
2013-10-22 10:18:53 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

this came to mind
 
2013-10-22 10:35:11 PM

Red Shirt Blues: freetomato: I have a decent scar on my leg from a piece of broken glass that cut me. It was inside a garbage bag I was carrying to to the dumpster. The bag swung and sliced my calf.

My story is that I was cliff diving in Baja Mexico and got nipped by a nurse shark when I swam back to shore. I am not a great liar but I have pulled it off more than once. Not to be duplicitous but for amusement's sake. If questioned, I admit the truth and laugh.

Pick another shark. Try a thresher.


I could say a trapezoid shark. Some would buy it, and consider themselves infromed.
 
2013-10-22 10:37:04 PM

buckler: Well, it makes sense. The nose contains a lot of the shark's major sensory systems, and is quite sensitive. If you need to get rid of one in a hurry, whack it in the nose a few times. Sure beats the shiat out of the US Navy training films in the 40's, advising sailors to slap the water in a rhythmic fashion to repel sharks, which we now know only attracts them.


noblewolf: I have found that a lot of predators do not expect the prey to fight back.  Being aggressive to the shark was probably something it is not normally confronted with.  I'm not marine biologist, just my 2 cents...


These.  These two things together are the reason why punching a shark in the face is exactly what the professionals instruct people to do when attacked.

Sounds like this guy kept calm in a terrifying situation, and came out with a best-case scenario.  Good for him.
 
2013-10-22 10:46:50 PM
img.fark.net

Artist's depiction of this story.

\not mine, but one of my desktop backgrounds
 
2013-10-22 10:56:42 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: almandot: Based on the meme I thought someone grabbed a shark and started doing something entirely different...

Yeah total misuse of that meme in the headline. I expected some groin action at the least.


misread the I'm as it's and was expecting the shark to bite off a guys dick
 
2013-10-22 11:28:39 PM

iheartscotch: COME ON! SERIOUSLY?

dude; the shark was just seeing if you were tasty; there's no reason to punch him in the eye. He probably would have been all; "that's no seal, that's one of those hairless monkey thingys. Those things are so greasy; and they taste like that trash that they throw in the water." And then; he'd have swam off to continue his sharkyness, elsewhere.


Tiger sharks are notorious for eating whatever they deem edible..which could be anything from a license plate...to a human being...

Brody (examining eaten license plate): He didn't eat a car, did he?
Hooper: Naw, a tiger shark's like a garbage can, it'll eat anything.
 
2013-10-22 11:39:49 PM

Red Shirt Blues: freetomato: I have a decent scar on my leg from a piece of broken glass that cut me. It was inside a garbage bag I was carrying to to the dumpster. The bag swung and sliced my calf.

My story is that I was cliff diving in Baja Mexico and got nipped by a nurse shark when I swam back to shore. I am not a great liar but I have pulled it off more than once. Not to be duplicitous but for amusement's sake. If questioned, I admit the truth and laugh.

Pick another shark. Try a thresher.


www.neaq.org

Yeah. Nurse sharks wear funny hats.
 
2013-10-22 11:40:00 PM
Wow, no Dane Cook references...I'm impressed!
 
2013-10-22 11:47:50 PM

MrHappyRotter: Wait!?!!??!  Sharks are fish?


OMG Narwhals are real?!?
 
2013-10-22 11:48:13 PM

HalfOffOffer: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 325x244]

this came to mind


I'd respond with a pic of Conan punching a camel but they're all so dark you can't really see what's going on.
 
2013-10-22 11:49:05 PM

iheartscotch: COME ON! SERIOUSLY?

dude; the shark was just seeing if you were tasty; there's no reason to punch him in the eye. He probably would have been all; "that's no seal, that's one of those hairless monkey thingys. Those things are so greasy; and they taste like that trash that they throw in the water." And then; he'd have swam off to continue his sharkyness, elsewhere.


Won't someone think of the sharks?
 
wud
2013-10-22 11:49:35 PM

freetomato: I have a decent scar on my leg from a piece of broken glass that cut me. It was inside a garbage bag I was carrying to to the dumpster. The bag swung and sliced my calf.

My story is that I was cliff diving in Baja Mexico and got nipped by a nurse shark when I swam back to shore. I am not a great liar but I have pulled it off more than once. Not to be duplicitous but for amusement's sake. If questioned, I admit the truth and laugh.


I like the cut of your...ahh, fark it.
 
2013-10-22 11:51:27 PM

AlwaysRightBoy: antidisestablishmentarianism: Benevolent Misanthrope: 2wolves: A picture of the surf board would be too much to ask for?

That was my reaction - pics or GTFO.

Third. I am disappoint.

Here's one with the board.

http://m.thegardenisland.com/news/loca l/man-fights-off-shark/article_c 27550d8-3ade-11e3-b0e2-0019bb2963f4.ht ml?mode=jqm

/sorry on mobile

It sounds like he kicked that sharks ass.



417 Cache busting detected
 
2013-10-22 11:51:35 PM
Afterward did the surfer get to go home with a hot bartender or just Tara Reid?
 
2013-10-22 11:52:45 PM

fusillade762: HalfOffOffer: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 325x244]

this came to mind

I'd respond with a pic of Conan punching a camel but they're all so dark you can't really see what's going on.


www3.pictures.zimbio.com

Here he is with the award he got for punching a camel.
 
2013-10-23 01:15:35 AM
Yeah, and when that doesn't work you poke it in the eye with your stump.

http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/mqiq6n/stand-up-robert-schi mm el--punch-a-shark
 
2013-10-23 01:32:44 AM
I can't wait to use this phrase in the first person: "repeatedly punching the fish in the face."
 
2013-10-23 07:40:14 AM
was his brother Tim alright?
 
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