BART workers tell management to eat their shorts, why Orlando is like Mordor, and nearer my cod to thee: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/13 - 10/19
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-10-22 3:50:09 PM (3 comments) | Permalink
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Some fun headlines this week. I think the Al Libi headline was particularly well played, but several others here I really liked. Enjoy
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-10-13 to Sat 2013-10-19:
Lost 72-year-old deer hunter, lost in the wilderness for 19 days after hitting his head, is found alive. He survived by eating squirrels, lizards, a snake, berries, and algae--basically everything but deer
A female university rowing club poses nude for a calendar. This is pertinent to my coxswain
Mingo county prosecutor disbarred due to cover-up probe. Mingo county prosecutor is just pawn in game of life
Al Libi hasn't one
Police release sketch in attempt to identify drowning victim. He's described as about 5'8″ to 5'10″ and gelatinous
Cops suspect alleged copper wire thief found burning at electrical substation will end up being charged twice
Today is the 40th anniversary of the Arab oil embargo. If your account number is odd, click left now. If your account number is even, you may read the article tomorrow
NSA chief and top deputy expected to resign later this month in order to spend more time watching your family
BART workers to management: Eat our shorts
Couple sells their kid to pay for iPhone, no longer needs to purchase a family plan
Violin played by Titanic bandmaster as the ship sank goes up for auction. Nearer my cod to thee
"Redskins come up short against Cowboys". Boy, that's a really flippant way to describe North American history
To protest poor officiating, Russian hockey team makes no effort to stop their opponent from scoring goals at will. In North America, we call that "Edmonton Oilers hockey"
Charles Krauthammer suggests calling the Redskins "Skins" instead, offending Shirts fans everywhere
Scientists claim eating chocolate can boost a man's bedroom performances for up to six hours. Oh, Henry
Recession linked to a rise in vasectomies. Apparently when things are this bad nothing is safe from getting cut
Widow told to remove Sudoku puzzle from husband's gravestone, tells cemetery that she just wanted the world to know that he was number 1 [ ] 5 [ ] [ ] 7 8 [ ] 3
Disney rumored to bring Lord of the Rings to its theme parks. Because nothing suggests the hellfires of Mordor better than a long Orlando line in the summer time
Salma Hayek, Pierce Brosnan begin filming "How To Make Love Like An Englishman". Projected running time: two minutes
Michael Bay punched in the face on the set of Transformers 4, probably by someone who paid to see Transformers 3
♫ When default reared its ugly head, John Boehner turned his tail and fled. Brave, brave, brave, brave John Boehner ♫
Hillary Clinton issued a parking citation in London. First time she was able to get her name on a ticket since 2008
Obama proves he's not Muslim by signing shutdown bill that has pork in it
Cruise prices are at an all time low. Terminally ill travelers say it's still a bargain compared to a traditional burial at sea
America's first toilet-themed restaurant opens in southern California. Dining tip: Don't order the #2
Dutch and American flying cars set to hit market, ground
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