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(Contact Music)   The best way to get rid of a drunken arrest is, of course, to get Chelsea Handler to joke about it   (contactmusic.com) divider line 29
    More: Amusing, Chelsea Handler, Reese Witherspoon, slopes, Legally Blonde  
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4638 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 Oct 2013 at 2:38 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-22 02:13:08 PM  
The best way to get rid of a drunken arrest is, of course, to get Chelsea Handler to joke about it service the cop for you.

Hint: Just tell her he's a network head in a Halloween costume.
 
2013-10-22 02:41:04 PM  
Did the English Language Commission announce some new definition of the phrase "get rid of" today? Apparently, now it means "being mildly embarrassed by" something.
 
2013-10-22 02:42:52 PM  
Chelsea is not funny so it couldn't have been a good joke
 
2013-10-22 02:43:46 PM  
makemelaugh.com
 
2013-10-22 02:45:04 PM  
Chelsea Handler tells jokes?
 
2013-10-22 02:46:21 PM  
Well, Chelsea Handler's short stay in jail was due to her own DWI, so she should know...

/read about it in her book
 
2013-10-22 02:53:49 PM  
Ms. Handler seems unpleasant, at best.
 
2013-10-22 03:03:32 PM  
Reese's problem handling alcohol combined with the fact she thinks Chelsea Handler is funny (meaning I'll seem like George Carlin reincarnated to her) makes me think I might actually have a shot at making out with her butt.
 
2013-10-22 03:14:36 PM  
If Handler really wanted to make Reese uncomfortable, she would have joked about the whole, "Well, you're about to find out who I am!" self-important rant Reese yelled at the cops. That would have been kind of funny.
 
2013-10-22 03:18:49 PM  
Chelsea Handler's CPA advised her to find more business deductions, now every bottle of hooch, bail bond and fine are important research expenses.
 
2013-10-22 03:21:51 PM  
It's perplexing why Farkers have so much hate for a drunken slut (Chelsea, not Reese). She seems like your guys' type.
 
2013-10-22 03:41:24 PM  
Chelsea Handler is a talentless coont.
 
2013-10-22 03:49:40 PM  
It's nice to see Reese stick out her chin and not pretend she's above her mistakes.
 
2013-10-22 04:25:11 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: It's perplexing why Farkers have so much hate for a drunken slut (Chelsea, not Reese). She seems like your guys' type.


She's a successful woman, so that's immediately a strike in most Farkers' books. She also doesn't seem to give a shiat what people think about her, and is proud of the fact she likes to drink and have sex, which should be a bonus, but is intimidating to a lot of guys so they lash out. Case in point: calling her a drunken slut.

I'm not a big fan, but I've read parts of her books, and watch her show once in awhile, and she's entertaining enough. But whatever, haters gonna hate.

/more of a Jen Kirkman fan, to be honest
 
2013-10-22 04:51:47 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: It's perplexing why Farkers have so much hate for a drunken slut (Chelsea, not Reese). She seems like your guys' type.


She is a schoolyard bully with a posse. Her jokes mainly consist of "What a tool, amirite!?" and "I was so wasted, but whatever, that is a typical Thursday for me". I used to watch her show because the panel was sometimes amusing but the interviews got too self-serving. She is famous for having famous friends.
 
2013-10-22 05:00:07 PM  

Car_Ramrod: B.L.Z. Bub: It's perplexing why Farkers have so much hate for a drunken slut (Chelsea, not Reese). She seems like your guys' type.

She's a successful woman, so that's immediately a strike in most Farkers' books. She also doesn't seem to give a shiat what people think about her, and is proud of the fact she likes to drink and have sex, which should be a bonus, but is intimidating to a lot of guys so they lash out. Case in point: calling her a drunken slut.

I'm not a big fan, but I've read parts of her books, and watch her show once in awhile, and she's entertaining enough. But whatever, haters gonna hate.

/more of a Jen Kirkman fan, to be honest


Could be right about some people, but to be honest, I think the psychoanalysis is a little over the top, and it really just comes down to "she doesn't make me laugh."
 
2013-10-22 05:24:45 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: It's perplexing why Farkers have so much hate for a drunken slut (Chelsea, not Reese). She seems like your guys' type.


I actually like her, 1 in every 10 joke is actually funny but she does not shy away from ripping someone a new asshole. My wife watches her show, I don't find it all that interesting, its your basic entertainment news with really bad jokes.
Reminds me of Jay Leno honestly.
 
2013-10-22 05:38:32 PM  
Isn't this kind of thing whole point of having a handler?
 
2013-10-22 06:11:47 PM  
Reese looks farking great.
 
2013-10-22 07:19:06 PM  
I would pay GOOOD money to have ruthless sex with Chelsea.


Yeah she's a coont but I can Handler.
 
2013-10-22 08:44:36 PM  
She's got so many genital warts her vagina looks like it's made of ostrich skin.
 
2013-10-22 10:05:38 PM  
"It's perplexing why Farkers have so much hate for a drunken slut (Chelsea, not Reese). She seems like your guys' type."

Her ratio of hot/funny/slutty is way off for being a nationally syndicated talk show host and bestselling author. I'm positive America can do far better in every category.
 
2013-10-22 10:53:30 PM  
She's got good legs, seems to me.
 
2013-10-22 11:55:28 PM  
I was surprised to sperm that she is only 38 years old.  Look, I'm not saying I wouldn't want her legs propped up on my shoulders so that I can plunge my Narsil into her Eye of Sauron, but you gotta admit, that's a rough looking 38 sometimes.
 
2013-10-23 12:16:07 AM  

coeyagi: I was surprised to sperm that she is only 38 years old.  Look, I'm not saying I wouldn't want her legs propped up on my shoulders so that I can plunge my Narsil into her Eye of Sauron, but you gotta admit, that's a rough looking 38 sometimes.


Being a lush ages you. TMYK
 
2013-10-23 12:19:01 AM  

thanksagainandagain: She's got so many genital warts her vagina looks like it's made of ostrich skin.


[citation needed].

For science!
 
2013-10-23 12:48:37 AM  

B.L.Z. Bub: It's perplexing why Farkers have so much hate for a drunken slut (Chelsea, not Reese). She seems like your guys' type.


Mainly its because she got where she is from kneeling and not being funny
 
2013-10-23 01:49:43 AM  

B.L.Z. Bub: coeyagi: I was surprised to sperm that she is only 38 years old.  Look, I'm not saying I wouldn't want her legs propped up on my shoulders so that I can plunge my Narsil into her Eye of Sauron, but you gotta admit, that's a rough looking 38 sometimes.

Being a lush ages you. TMYK


Actually, the lighting on that set is criminally unforgiving. Plus she has a fashion sense that is very unflattering. Whatevs, she doesn't play by those rules!
 
2013-10-23 06:42:33 AM  

Car_Ramrod: B.L.Z. Bub: It's perplexing why Farkers have so much hate for a drunken slut (Chelsea, not Reese). She seems like your guys' type.

She's a successful woman, so that's immediately a strike in most Farkers' books. She also doesn't seem to give a shiat what people think about her, and is proud of the fact she likes to drink and have sex, which should be a bonus, but is intimidating to a lot of guys so they lash out. Case in point: calling her a drunken slut.

I'm not a big fan, but I've read parts of her books, and watch her show once in awhile, and she's entertaining enough. But whatever, haters gonna hate.

/more of a Jen Kirkman fan, to be honest


Whatever Reese.
 
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