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(Independent)   Scientists say billions of insects are "accidentally" having gay sex, according to exciting new research from the Sen. Larry Craig Institute For Advanced I'm Totally Not Gay Research   (independent.co.uk) divider line 51
    More: Interesting  
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2489 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2013 at 1:11 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-22 12:27:04 PM
Link farked?
 
2013-10-22 12:28:30 PM
Was there a massive invasion of wide-stance beetles?
 
2013-10-22 12:38:23 PM
Can we bug spray the gay away?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-10-22 12:42:16 PM
It's common for a second male insect to try to join a mating pair.  It's not gay unless the cerci touch.
 
2013-10-22 01:00:34 PM
It's working now.

In other news, "The Crying Game" is the most downloaded movie on insect Netflix, just ahead of "A Bug's Life."
 
2013-10-22 01:14:28 PM
Well they all look alike.
 
2013-10-22 01:15:25 PM
At the same time?
 
2013-10-22 01:20:29 PM
Homophobic article is homophobic.
 
2013-10-22 01:20:31 PM
Link farked in 80 clicks?
 
2013-10-22 01:21:34 PM
It's possible they don't care that much, one way or another.

farm4.staticflickr.com

/Species-dependant, of course...
 
2013-10-22 01:21:44 PM
www.whatsthatbug.com
 
2013-10-22 01:22:39 PM
So they're saying in most species, men will fark anything.
 
2013-10-22 01:23:23 PM
I hate it when you have an "accident" and women get all homophobic on you.
 
2013-10-22 01:24:25 PM
My boss has been using this excuse for years.
 
2013-10-22 01:24:34 PM
That explains all those teeny tiny U-Haul vans skittering across my patio.

/What does a lesbian take on a second date?
/A U-Haul
 
2013-10-22 01:26:49 PM
I've known that sometimes these sexual accidents just happen

www.pokerspace.com
 
2013-10-22 01:27:53 PM
Praying mantises (manti?) ftw
 
2013-10-22 01:39:41 PM

Canton: It's possible they don't care that much, one way or another.

[farm4.staticflickr.com image 500x355]

/Species-dependant, of course...


Gaydybugs?
 
2013-10-22 01:52:20 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Canton: It's possible they don't care that much, one way or another.

[farm4.staticflickr.com image 500x355]

/Species-dependant, of course...

Gaydybugs?


They give no farks and all the farks simultaneously. It's like magic!
 
2013-10-22 01:54:58 PM
FTA:

"Homosexual behavior may be genomically linked to being more active, a better forager, or a better competitor," Dr Scharf added. "So even though misidentifying mates isn't a desirable trait, it's part of a package of traits that leaves the insect better adapted overall."


Translation for Farker homophobes: Gay and bisexual men get laid more than you do because they are smart enough to bathe.

And comb their hair. And dress well. And use a mouth wash. And they make more money than you do. And they drive a luxury car. And they smell nice. Hell, they're just better foragers and competitors.

Hey, dude! I'm carrying a lot of pheromones from having sex with your Mother.

Now, I'm gonna do your ***


But seriously. Studies of gay youth suggest that they start having sex earlier (with the opposite sex, as well as the same sex) and are more likely to become a parent at a young age. Chances are that gay men are sexually active longer as well (since they don't marry--much). One in four gay men in the US are fathers according to some studies, and an even larger number marry whether as a cover, an attempt to "go straight" or through ignorance and latency or social pressures.

Various stereotypes and studies suggest that gay and bisexual men are, like insects, compensating for their "errors" in other ways, which maintains any genes that might predispose men to homosexuality.

Also, studies show that each older brother increases the the likelihood of a boy being gay by a third, which suggests that the more certain people breed, the more likely they are to produce gays and lesbians. It is believed that women become immune to antibodies produced by male offspring. This may help maintain the balance between males and females, but also between high-breeders and low-breeders. There may be a slight decline in genetic health because of the increasingly hostile environment in the womb, which might explain other factors, such as higher levels of left-handedness and so forth. But if the progressively more hostile environment for younger brothers causes some harm, there may be other compensations, such as greater creativity in younger siblings.

Birth order studies suggest that the eldest child is the most conservative, the most identified with the parents, the most intelligent, and the bossiest, but younger children, being spare tires so to speak, can add greatly to the diversity and productivity of society even if they fail on conventional terms. Evolution can work fastest on extra genes because the first copy will guarantee the function of the gene is not lost, so there may be faster evolution because of young children and also gays and lesbians despite slight disadvantages in some conservative respects.

Clown cars may be the gay man's best friend. Not only are they vastly more likely to produce lots of young gays and lesbians relative to the Prottie model of reproduction, but they may push them out of the home earlier, causing them to have to fend for themselves or find a sugar daddy or cougar to protect them.

In such circumstances, homophobia and traditionalism may actually vastly increase the survival chances of homosexuals.

There's lot of interesting areas of research suggested by this. One, it would be interesting to compare the familial circumstances and other traits of gay males in societies such as China (one child policy? what is it doing to evolution?) and Saudi Arabia and Spain or Sweden.

Do reproductive strategies such as the Prottie and the Cathie systems impinge on sexual orientation?

Does the fact that every sperm is sacred increase the number of homosexuals and thus of creative, productive people? Could this explain the cultural richness and diversity of a society such as Ireland which was quite poor and backwards until recently and produced many of the great literary geniuses of history?

Will China's one child policy make the country less inventive and innovative, causing it to remain behind liberal democracies in many fields where conventionality and tradition are handicaps?

Would a madly reproducing but gay-tolerant society become a superpower in terms of arts and sciences and fashion?

If people get to choose the sex and sexual orientation of their children at conception, will it mean the end of evolution? will evolution favour one sex over the other, perhaps not the intended one? Could the human race become more and more di-morphic until contemporary humans wouldn't recognize their descendants any more?

Homosexuality raises some fascinating biological, moral, political, social, and technological questions.

What if we were free from the need to reproduce? Would people choose homosexuality the way that homophobes seem to fear? Or would the majority go on reproducing the old-fashioned way?

Deep questions with iffy answers. The perfect fodder for Fark debates.
 
2013-10-22 02:14:23 PM
I know!  I keep accidentally having sex with men.  It has been going on for 17 years now, since I hit puberty.
 
2013-10-22 02:22:44 PM
I'm sure this has nothing to do with humans flushing thousands of tons of hormones into the water.
 
2013-10-22 02:34:29 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: I'm sure this has nothing to do with humans flushing thousands of tons of hormones into the water.


Uh-oh, we got ourselves a conspiracy nut, everybody label him some wacky color and brand him as a loony troll
 
2013-10-22 02:39:15 PM
In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.
 
2013-10-22 02:48:22 PM
Gary Larson, paging Gary Larson. You are asked to come out (heh) of retirement immediately. Please?
 
2013-10-22 02:49:25 PM
Definitely works out better for the praying mantis.  The males, at least.
 
2013-10-22 02:50:49 PM
i.imgur.com

Ambivalent...
 
2013-10-22 02:58:20 PM

Lando Lincoln: In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.


Wouldn't the extra penis have been a clue?
 
2013-10-22 03:06:39 PM

George Babbitt: BraveNewCheneyWorld: I'm sure this has nothing to do with humans flushing thousands of tons of hormones into the water.

Uh-oh, we got ourselves a conspiracy nut, everybody label him some wacky color and brand him as a loony troll


Already did, in a thread long ago.
 
2013-10-22 03:18:45 PM

Buttknuckle: George Babbitt: BraveNewCheneyWorld: I'm sure this has nothing to do with humans flushing thousands of tons of hormones into the water.

Uh-oh, we got ourselves a conspiracy nut, everybody label him some wacky color and brand him as a loony troll

Already did, in a thread long ago.


I was kidding.
 
2013-10-22 03:20:06 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: I'm sure this has nothing to do with humans flushing thousands of tons of hormones into the water.


Don't be ridiculous. This is obviously a result of ChemTrails®
 
2013-10-22 03:23:25 PM

George Babbitt: Buttknuckle: George Babbitt: BraveNewCheneyWorld: I'm sure this has nothing to do with humans flushing thousands of tons of hormones into the water.

Uh-oh, we got ourselves a conspiracy nut, everybody label him some wacky color and brand him as a loony troll

Already did, in a thread long ago.

I was kidding.


I know you were.
 
2013-10-22 03:24:20 PM

RobotSpider: BraveNewCheneyWorld: I'm sure this has nothing to do with humans flushing thousands of tons of hormones into the water.

Don't be ridiculous. This is obviously a result of ChemTrails®


LoL, sheeple.

Obviously someone is vaccinating all the insects which is giving them autism which everyone knows leads to gay secks.
 
2013-10-22 03:30:35 PM

Buttknuckle: I know!  I keep accidentally having sex with men.  It has been going on for 17 years now, since I hit puberty.


I always wondered what it must be like to be homosexual. I mean, there must be tons of things that cause them stress.
Knowing that a significant number of people will hate you for just being yourself.
Having to decide if you will 'come out'
Catching attitude from other gay people for not 'coming out'
The fact that 'coming out' even has to be a thing.
Worry about the acceptance of your own family.
Worry about fitting in with gay society as well.
Trying to find a suitable partner from a more limited pool.
The real possibility of cruel social isolation.
The real possibility of workplace discrimination.

Now if you add to that being an insect...that would be quite a lot to bear.  I wish them the best of luck.
 
2013-10-22 03:31:53 PM

Tricky Chicken: Buttknuckle: I know!  I keep accidentally having sex with men.  It has been going on for 17 years now, since I hit puberty.

I always wondered what it must be like to be homosexual. I mean, there must be tons of things that cause them stress.
Knowing that a significant number of people will hate you for just being yourself.
Having to decide if you will 'come out'
Catching attitude from other gay people for not 'coming out'
The fact that 'coming out' even has to be a thing.
Worry about the acceptance of your own family.
Worry about fitting in with gay society as well.
Trying to find a suitable partner from a more limited pool.
The real possibility of cruel social isolation.
The real possibility of workplace discrimination.

Now if you add to that being an insect...that would be quite a lot to bear.  I wish them the best of luck.


All I know is that if I were bi-sexual I could get rejected twice as much
 
2013-10-22 03:37:48 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tricky Chicken: Buttknuckle: I know!  I keep accidentally having sex with men.  It has been going on for 17 years now, since I hit puberty.

I always wondered what it must be like to be homosexual. I mean, there must be tons of things that cause them stress.
Knowing that a significant number of people will hate you for just being yourself.
Having to decide if you will 'come out'
Catching attitude from other gay people for not 'coming out'
The fact that 'coming out' even has to be a thing.
Worry about the acceptance of your own family.
Worry about fitting in with gay society as well.
Trying to find a suitable partner from a more limited pool.
The real possibility of cruel social isolation.
The real possibility of workplace discrimination.

Now if you add to that being an insect...that would be quite a lot to bear.  I wish them the best of luck.

All I know is that if I were bi-sexual I could get rejected twice as much


Yeah, but from looking around on the Metro, I'd say only about 5% of people (male and female) are farkable. So the odds are still pretty bad.  Anyway, bisexual is just for people that don't know if they are coming or going.

(I got this sticker on the back of my car.  People think it is because I support HRC.  But I'm really just a huge fan of the Sweedish mathematics team.)
 
2013-10-22 03:56:02 PM

Lando Lincoln: In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.


Thanks Creed.

/it is an "Office" quote for those in the ignorant
 
2013-10-22 05:24:27 PM
I can sympathize. I HATE it when I try to mate with my girlfriend just to find out I'm balls-deep in the dude next door.
 
2013-10-22 05:46:04 PM

QueenMamaBee: So they're saying in most species, men will fark anything.


Only for those species that are on the business end of the food chain.  When your mating strategy is "fark anything that moves before you get eaten", accidental gaysex is probably less of a waste of energy than taking the time to figure out if what you're farking is actually a girl.

Also, consider that if your buddy mistakes you for a female and farks you instead, that's one less guy competing for the available girls.  So yeah, the prison sex strategy works both ways--assuming, of course, some larger animal comes along and eats you tomorrow.
 
2013-10-22 06:27:59 PM
Its worse when you consider traumatic insemination.
 
2013-10-22 07:17:22 PM
This is why the smarter insects avoid Patpong altogether.
 
2013-10-22 07:18:55 PM

CrazyCracka420: I've known that sometimes these sexual accidents just happen

[www.pokerspace.com image 470x371]


artnectar.com
artnectar.com
 
2013-10-22 07:23:12 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Was there a massive invasion of wide-stance beetles?


Pesticides have weakened some of the stronger insects, forcing them to look on Rentbug.com for younger, fitter insects to carry their suitcases for them when they travel.  And to provide massages to help them recover from cloacal surgery faster.
 
2013-10-22 07:27:48 PM

Salmon: My boss has been using this excuse for years.


Does he at least say "mi scusi"?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-10-22 08:12:55 PM
What an insect with a wide stance might look like:

farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2013-10-22 09:37:14 PM

Fusilier: Praying mantises (manti?) ftw


I saw a girl, she reminded me of you.  She did the things that a girl like you might do.
 
2013-10-22 09:38:44 PM

Raoul Eaton: Definitely works out better for the praying mantis.  The males, at least.


I'll resist the urge that is tempting me.  I'll avert my eyes, keep you off my knee.  But it feels so good when you talk to me.
 
2013-10-22 11:02:02 PM
www.thatfilmguy.net

BUGGERY?
 
2013-10-23 10:20:25 AM

ObscureNameHere: Lando Lincoln: In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.

Thanks Creed.

/it is an "Office" quote for those in the ignorant


Pretty sure that's one of Creed's best lines.

/Love that character
 
2013-10-23 10:35:29 AM
Damn, 85% of insects engage in gay sex.

"Homosexual behavior may be genomically linked to being more active, a better forager, or a better competitor," Dr Scharf added. "So even though misidentifying mates isn't a desirable trait, it's part of a package of traits that leaves the insect better adapted overall."

That makes sense.
 
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