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(Yahoo)   Let us Pray: Our Parent corporation, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy ticker symbol, thy kingdom come, thy deregulatory will be done, on the exchanges as it is in heaven and give us this day our daily equity and lead us not into recession..Amen   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 82
    More: Strange, obamacare, ramifications, Hobby Lobby, legal brief, Constitutional Accountability Center, female employees, for-profit corporations  
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2331 clicks; posted to Politics » on 22 Oct 2013 at 1:24 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-22 12:24:49 PM
This is a truly frightening prospect. The whole corporation as person thing is bad enough. This (IMO) opens up the floodgates.
 
2013-10-22 12:25:24 PM
Should say "would" open up the floodgates.
 
2013-10-22 12:30:37 PM
Heretics! You're supposed to pray to atomic bombs, not corporations. I saw it in a movie once. It's totally for reals.
 
2013-10-22 12:58:45 PM

Weaver95: Heretics! You're supposed to pray to atomic bombs, not corporations. I saw it in a movie once. It's totally for reals.


Zardoz Finds you to be an unbeliever and worthy of purging

/if corporations are people then they also need to be subject to the criminal law, and since we can't put them in jail, let's just condier their directors and officers useful proxies for ay sentence they recieve
 
2013-10-22 01:06:39 PM
Corporate personhood is a useful concept in a society where people are mature enough to realize that said corporation is not a literal person.
 
2013-10-22 01:23:17 PM

mediablitz: This is a truly frightening prospect. The whole corporation as person thing is bad enough. This (IMO) opens up the floodgates.


If they had all the liabilities and responsibilities, as well as all the benefits, I might feel differently.
 
2013-10-22 01:30:02 PM
No one posted that "I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one" poster yet?
 
2013-10-22 01:30:49 PM

Cagey B: Corporate personhood is a useful concept in a society where people are mature enough to realize that said corporation is not a literal person.


 Exactly.  If this flies then I am going to go to Hobby Lobby's corporate headquaters, sprinkle it with holy water and claim It converted to my religion and now must tithe  me 10% of all its earning according tot he principles of the Church of Magorn....or better yet just claim I heard the building whisper "there is no God but Alaah and Mohammed is his prophet" and is therefore Now muslim and has no futher objection to providing birth control
 
2013-10-22 01:32:26 PM
Subby - you forgot "but deliver us from taxes."
 
2013-10-22 01:35:03 PM
Hobby Lobby has a religion?

When did it get baptized?  When did it have it's bris?  When did it accept Jesus into it's bank account?  Does it refuse to eat shellfish or pork?  Does it refuse to sell blended fabrics?  Does it have a soul?

When the owners get back to me with answers for all those questions, then I'll begin to start thinking about whether or not it has first amendment freedom of religion rights.

If anything, a corporations religious preference would be atheist.
 
2013-10-22 01:35:31 PM
In its own challenge earlier this year, Hobby Lobby, an arts and crafts chain, succeeded in persuading the United States Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit to accept a truly remarkable proposition: that the corporate entity itself is a person exercising religion and is entitled, on grounds of religious conscience, to deny its female employees health insurance coverage for FDA-approved contraceptives.

1) This sounds like it's from the Onion

2) What assholes
 
2013-10-22 01:35:43 PM

DarwiOdrade: Subby - you forgot "but deliver us from taxes."


Thy rod and thy undercompensated staff comfort me.
 
2013-10-22 01:35:59 PM

Magorn: Cagey B: Corporate personhood is a useful concept in a society where people are mature enough to realize that said corporation is not a literal person.

 Exactly.  If this flies then I am going to go to Hobby Lobby's corporate headquaters, sprinkle it with holy water and claim It converted to my religion and now must tithe  me 10% of all its earning according tot he principles of the Church of Magorn....or better yet just claim I heard the building whisper "there is no God but Alaah and Mohammed is his prophet" and is therefore Now muslim and has no futher objection to providing birth control


Is that the case?

/no snark, just a question
 
2013-10-22 01:36:03 PM

Magorn: If this flies then I am going to go to Hobby Lobby's corporate headquaters, sprinkle it with holy water and claim It converted to my religion and now must tithe me 10% of all its earning according tot he principles of the Church of Magorn....or better yet just claim I heard the building whisper "there is no God but Alaah and Mohammed is his prophet" and is therefore Now muslim and has no futher objection to providing birth control


That's a great plan. However Hobby Lobby will then disincorporate and then reincorporate elsewhere under its previous religion. Meanwhile the Mormons will baptize the dead version of Hobby Lobby, creating havoc as the undead Hobby Lobby competes with the reborn Seventh-Day Hobbyist Hobby Lobby.

So actually, it's still a great plan.
 
2013-10-22 01:37:01 PM
Is the question can employers require prayer from the employees?
I read the article but really sounded more like a trolling than actual news.
 
2013-10-22 01:37:45 PM

mayIFark: No one posted that "I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one" poster yet?


Wouldn't the corporation need to be retarded for that to work?
 
2013-10-22 01:38:12 PM
Actually, I just answered one of my own questions:
Warm Blend is a 50% bleached cotton fiber and 50% polyester fiber.

I guess religious prohibitions are trumped by the pursuit of the Almighty Dollar.
 
2013-10-22 01:39:53 PM

monoski: Is the question can employers require prayer from the employees?
I read the article but really sounded more like a trolling than actual news.


It only appears to be trolling because it is a fairly accurate representation of Christian Nationalists' political views and legal theories.
 
2013-10-22 01:40:04 PM

Emposter: mayIFark: No one posted that "I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one" poster yet?

Wouldn't the corporation need to be retarded for that to work?


That shouldn't be a problem for 99.99% of the corporations.
 
2013-10-22 01:51:09 PM
Who will be the first to cry when they discover 7-11 is muslim? Or that Sony is Shinto? Or that most corporations are Chinese atheists? But, hey, its what Jaysus would have wanted.
 
2013-10-22 01:57:23 PM
Let me get this straight. In the era of state-offered health care employers are fighting for the right to offer their employees shiattier insurance plans.

The free market has spoken. Single payer is inevitable.
 
2013-10-22 02:00:54 PM
I will believe that corporations are people once one of them is executed in Texas.
 
2013-10-22 02:06:01 PM
Corporations are religious people my friends!

some of them aren't really all that religious but they are spiritual.
 
2013-10-22 02:08:49 PM
I'm sorry, our bank is Muslim and can't be forced to offer interest.  This religious power of conscience overrides any contracts we signed regarding your certificates of deposit.
 
2013-10-22 02:10:11 PM
Sorry, my hitman company is officially satanist, and we cannot be compelled to obey laws prohibiting human sacrifice.
 
2013-10-22 02:10:26 PM

Darth Macho: Let me get this straight. In the era of state-offered health care employers are fighting for the right to offer their employees shiattier insurance plans.

And are succeeding in convincing roughly half their employees to blame it on ObamaCare.

The free market has spoken. Single payer is inevitable.  But will take another 25 - 50 years to get here.

/Some omissions I noticed.
 
2013-10-22 02:11:32 PM
If these corporations would stop hiring sluts, then the contraceptive issue wouldn't be a problem.

As a religious entity, doesn't it concern you that the women you employee are actively seeking to procure contraceptives?
 
2013-10-22 02:11:41 PM
Let this be the beginning of the end of extending rights meant for individuals to corporations that are persons only in name, and not extending another right to them.
 
2013-10-22 02:12:21 PM

Karac: Actually, I just answered one of my own questions:
Warm Blend is a 50% bleached cotton fiber and 50% polyester fiber.

I guess religious prohibitions are trumped by the pursuit of the Almighty Dollar.


Good Christ, I wonder if you could then sue a corporation for not following Leviticus.  That's crazy.
 
2013-10-22 02:14:28 PM

ikanreed: I'm sorry, our bank is Muslim and can't be forced to offer interest.  This religious power of conscience overrides any contracts we signed regarding your certificates of deposit.


ikanreed: Sorry, my hitman company is officially satanist, and we cannot be compelled to obey laws prohibiting human sacrifice.


I think the intention is to only make this available to "real" religions.  Like Christianity, Judaism, and Christianity.
 
2013-10-22 02:17:22 PM
The hypocrisy here is mind-boggling.  What they would essentially be saying is that a few people in a corporation can force their religious views on every employee in the company, thus denying the employees' religious views.

Corporations really are "special" people above the rule of law and the constitution.
 
2013-10-22 02:21:51 PM

Almost Everybody Poops: The hypocrisy here is mind-boggling.  What they would essentially be saying is that a few people in a corporation can force their religious views on every employee in the company, thus denying the employees' religious views.

Corporations really are "special" people above the rule of law and the constitution.


People aren't people.  Only corporations are people, my friends.
 
2013-10-22 02:25:41 PM

Almost Everybody Poops: The hypocrisy here is mind-boggling.  What they would essentially be saying is that a few people in a corporation can force their religious views on every employee in the company, thus denying the employees' religious views.

Corporations really are "special" people above the rule of law and the constitution.


Apparently the needs of the derpy outweigh the needs of the few
 
2013-10-22 02:26:55 PM
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory of capitalism forever. Amen.
 
2013-10-22 02:27:05 PM

BeesNuts: ikanreed: I'm sorry, our bank is Muslim and can't be forced to offer interest.  This religious power of conscience overrides any contracts we signed regarding your certificates of deposit.

ikanreed: Sorry, my hitman company is officially satanist, and we cannot be compelled to obey laws prohibiting human sacrifice.

I think the intention is to only make this available to "real" religions.  Like Christianity, JudaismChristianity, and Christianity.

 
2013-10-22 02:32:02 PM
Let us prey
 
2013-10-22 02:32:40 PM

qorkfiend: BeesNuts: ikanreed: I'm sorry, our bank is Muslim and can't be forced to offer interest.  This religious power of conscience overrides any contracts we signed regarding your certificates of deposit.

ikanreed: Sorry, my hitman company is officially satanist, and we cannot be compelled to obey laws prohibiting human sacrifice.

I think the intention is to only make this available to "real" religions.  Like Christianity, JudaismChristianity, and Christianity.


They won't let the direct antisemitism show until they've undone every other group.  "Judeo-Christian" has become a code-word for "Christian, but we promise we're not Nazis, and that's not an oddly specific denial".
 
2013-10-22 02:35:17 PM
The U.S. Supreme Court has already settled this in the case of human beings.  The laws of the United States trump religion.  Mormons can't have more than one wife.  Marijuana is still illegal in most places.  You're not allowed to kill people if you worship Cthulhu.  All churches have to follow the laws, as well.

I don't see the outcome coming out any differently just because a corporation is petitioning the courts.
 
2013-10-22 02:36:38 PM
It's my two favorite stupid rightwing positions:

1. Corporations are persons, when it's to their advantage, but otherwise all you need to know is limited liability

2. All contraception is a violation of somebody or other's religious freedom

And now, of course, they want to use these two stupid positions to attack Obamacare.

/ofcourse
 
2013-10-22 02:38:52 PM
If the prime purpose of your organization is God, then form a church.  If the prime purpose of your group is to make money, then form a corporation.

Or better yet, form a single owner proprietorship or LLC at least.
 
2013-10-22 02:59:53 PM
If a corporation can be a religious person, it must have a soul, right?
So ending a corporation after filing the incorporation papers but before it's ever realized any revenue would be corporate abortion, right?  Wouldn't a hostile corporate takeover be murder, or at least rape?  Bane Capital was a professional Death Panel company.

Or maybe corporations aren't people or religious.
 
2013-10-22 03:06:16 PM
Nice one subby. I would only make a small suggestion:

Let us Pray: Our Parent corporation, who art in heaven offshore, hallowed be thy ticker symbol, thy kingdom come, thy deregulatory will be done, on the exchanges as it is in heaven and give us this day our daily equity and lead us not into recession..Amen
 
2013-10-22 03:13:28 PM

Dog Welder: The U.S. Supreme Court has already settled this in the case of human beings.  The laws of the United States trump religion.  Mormons can't have more than one wife.  Marijuana is still illegal in most places.  You're not allowed to kill people if you worship Cthulhu.  All churches have to follow the laws, as well..


Wisconsin v. Yoder would like to disagree with you.
 
2013-10-22 03:19:07 PM
Some corporation like Hobby Lobby is successful in claiming it's Christian, so doesn't have to provide contraception health insurance.  Then an employee sues H.L. for contraceptive insurance claiming that they can't be Christian since they sell mixed-fiber aprons and Chanukah Cookies. The court rules that Hobby Lobby is a bad Christian, but still a Christian, so you shut up you whore.
 
2013-10-22 03:20:45 PM
If corporations are people they need to die every 75 years or so and go through probate.
 
2013-10-22 03:27:21 PM

Cagey B: Corporate personhood is a useful concept in a society where people are mature enough to realize that said corporation is not a literal person.


I have a feeling Hobby Lobby and Catholic Healthcare are about to find out that even conservative judges have that level of maturity.
 
2013-10-22 03:38:09 PM

Almost Everybody Poops: The hypocrisy here is mind-boggling.  What they would essentially be saying is that a few people in a corporation can force their religious views on every employee in the company, thus denying the employees' religious views.


That's fine. As long as it isn't the government taking away our rights, there's no real problem.
 
2013-10-22 03:39:39 PM
 DarwiOdrade: Subby - you forgot "but deliver us from taxes."

kbronsito: Nice one subby. I would only make a small suggestion:

Let us Pray: Our Parent corporation, who art offshore,


Both that of those lines would have made the headline pure comedy gold, well done to the both of you
 
2013-10-22 03:40:19 PM
Very simple solution: NO religious exemptions. None. For anything.

=Smidge=
 
2013-10-22 03:42:09 PM
I have an LLC. If the court rules in favor of H.L. so help me I'll enter my LLC into the next possible election and sue when the state won't put it's name on the ballot.
 
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