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(Celebslam)   Maksim Chmerkovskiy says he feels lucky to be nailing Kate Upton. What's the Ukrainian word for "duh"?   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 110
    More: Obvious, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Kate Upton, Manic Pixie Dream Girl, Kevin Federline  
•       •       •

6967 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 Oct 2013 at 10:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



110 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-22 12:25:10 PM  

PoweredByIrony: I realize this is an article about a hot woman getting nailed.  And it's from the Celebslam website.  But by the third sentence I felt sorry for the author's mental abilities and by the end I think I'd lost some cognitive... stuff making.  I would have stopped reading, but the 5 word sentences just pulled me along in some sort of vortex of horrible grammar, made up nicknames, and capitalization.

I think the author took classes from Justin Bieber, but dropped out halfway through.  I'm going to spend some time looking at the picture now.  That makes me feel better.


How much did you pay to access that site?
 
2013-10-22 12:27:25 PM  
I have no idea....I can ask my Dad.

/Half Ukie.
 
2013-10-22 12:28:10 PM  

ExcedrinHeadache: Quantum Apostrophe: frepnog: /she is gorgeous. I mean stop traffic cause 12 wrecks kill 7 people gorgeous.

Ever take the Metro in Montreal? Especially around the universities? You wouldn't even notice her and her sausage casing of a body.

I'll back up this statement. I've lived in NY, CA, TX, FL, Alberta, and Montréal, and Montréal has hands-down the hottest women in North America.

That said, they're also the craziest.


Montreal is a conservative town, don't let anyone fool you: you can't approach or talk to these women, even when you're in the same age range. I'm more in the Craig Ferguson area now, minus the charm, looks and height.
 
2013-10-22 12:31:03 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: Rawhead Rex: WINNER OF THE STUDMAN69 CONTEST RIGHT THERE!!!

I *won*? I didn't think I had a chance! Thank you! Will there be a 3D printed plaque?


No, there will be no 3D plaque. Because you seem to prefer flat thing you will receive a certificate printed on a sheet of paper.
 
2013-10-22 12:31:13 PM  

meanmutton: Uncle Pooky: She's not too shy about being passed around, apparently.

Dating about one guy a year is "being passed around"?


Yes. I'm very puritan.
 
2013-10-22 12:36:03 PM  
....I don't get it. She's not 3D printed or in space? Why do we have the life-extension nutter here.

MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE VALIDATING THE TROLL BY FEEDING IT

communitiesonline.homestead.com
 
2013-10-22 12:38:13 PM  

Rawhead Rex: Quantum Apostrophe: frepnog: /she is gorgeous. I mean stop traffic cause 12 wrecks kill 7 people gorgeous.

Ever take the Metro in Montreal? Especially around the universities? You wouldn't even notice her and her sausage casing of a body.

WINNER OF THE STUDMAN69 CONTEST RIGHT THERE!!!


Oh, no no... He's absolutely right. You see, there are thousands upon thousands of young women in Montreal that put Upton to shame. They could easily make millions in the modeling industry but choose not to. They prefer to suffer for their art so that they can sleep with QA.
 
2013-10-22 12:42:21 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: ExcedrinHeadache: Quantum Apostrophe: frepnog: /she is gorgeous. I mean stop traffic cause 12 wrecks kill 7 people gorgeous.

Ever take the Metro in Montreal? Especially around the universities? You wouldn't even notice her and her sausage casing of a body.

I'll back up this statement. I've lived in NY, CA, TX, FL, Alberta, and Montréal, and Montréal has hands-down the hottest women in North America.

That said, they're also the craziest.

Montreal is a conservative town, don't let anyone fool you: you can't approach or talk to these women, even when you're in the same age range. I'm more in the Craig Ferguson area now, minus the charm, looks and height.


I said they're crazy, not that they'd do me. I was married the whole time I lived there, anyway (and still am!).
 
2013-10-22 12:43:43 PM  
Yeah yea, one of the world's most famous models *still* isn't attractive enough. What chance does the rest of womanhood have?

25.media.tumblr.com25.media.tumblr.comtovaryshka.info
 
2013-10-22 12:44:03 PM  

carrion_luggage: Look, anyone who say's she's ugly or wouldn't hit it is just being ridiculous, but she could certainly benefit from toning up a bit.


To borrow a line from another Farker, she could use me as an exercise machine.

Repeatedly.

As much as necessary.

And a few times after to be sure.
 
2013-10-22 12:51:04 PM  

ExcedrinHeadache: Quantum Apostrophe: frepnog: /she is gorgeous. I mean stop traffic cause 12 wrecks kill 7 people gorgeous.

Ever take the Metro in Montreal? Especially around the universities? You wouldn't even notice her and her sausage casing of a body.

I'll back up this statement. I've lived in NY, CA, TX, FL, Alberta, and Montréal, and Montréal has hands-down the hottest women in North America.

That said, they're also the craziest.


I have yet to go to Montreal, but during interviews F1 drivers routinely pick Montreal as one of their favorite stops on the circuit.

/as for Kate, I'd put my sausage in her casing, IYKWIM
 
2013-10-22 12:53:56 PM  

StopLurkListen: Why do we have the life-extension nutter here.


Because you don't run this place, tough guy? Maybe you should take your nick to heart and lurk more, listen more and post less?


ryarger: Oh, no no... He's absolutely right. You see, there are thousands upon thousands of young women in Montreal that put Upton to shame.


Yes.

ryarger: They could easily make millions in the modeling industry but choose not to


People are different, imagine that.

ryarger: They prefer to suffer for their art so that they can sleep with QA.


They didn't. Sleep with me.
 
2013-10-22 01:01:01 PM  

FLMountainMan: PoweredByIrony: I realize this is an article about a hot woman getting nailed.  And it's from the Celebslam website.  But by the third sentence I felt sorry for the author's mental abilities and by the end I think I'd lost some cognitive... stuff making.  I would have stopped reading, but the 5 word sentences just pulled me along in some sort of vortex of horrible grammar, made up nicknames, and capitalization.

I think the author took classes from Justin Bieber, but dropped out halfway through.  I'm going to spend some time looking at the picture now.  That makes me feel better.

How much did you pay to access that site?


I'd give you a relative answer in terms of brain cells, but I've lost my ability to subtract.
 
2013-10-22 01:03:51 PM  

StopLurkListen: ....I don't get it. She's not 3D printed or in space? Why do we have the life-extension nutter here.


I've noticed he's got a thing about young women. Hence the insecurity about aging, I guess.
 
2013-10-22 01:05:37 PM  
Quantum Apostrophe:
ryarger: They prefer to suffer for their art so that they can sleep with QA.

They didn't. Sleep with me.


That first period completely changes the meaning of that post.
 
2013-10-22 01:06:59 PM  

Magnanimous_J: HotIgneous Intruder: /I suppose Upton is cute if you enjoy untoned milk-fed squishy veal girls in your bed.

That's the exact thing I like.


Yep. Me too, Veal-vag ist gut ya.
 
2013-10-22 01:07:52 PM  

lasercannon: Wellon Dowd: What's up with all these Ukrainians coming here and dating our blondes?


[i.imgur.com image 563x640]

Wells it is probably because all Ukrainian women look like this
[www.elmoensio.com image 500x348]

Here is a picture of the Ukrainian Playboy centerfold for the month of February. She is 23 and her turn-on's include fire and potatoes. Her turn-off's include the Black Death and men who smell like stale horse urine.
[jillybchronicles.files.wordpress.com image 410x480]


Well done! *cheers*
 
2013-10-22 01:17:24 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Duhski

/duhski


Actually, it's "nu"
 
2013-10-22 01:26:39 PM  

FrancoFile: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Duhski

/duhski

Actually, it's "nu"


Ni!
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-10-22 01:32:01 PM  

StopLurkListen: Yeah yea, one of the world's most famous models *still* isn't attractive enough. What chance does the rest of womanhood have?


Being unattractive to one or a few people doesn't mean you're unattractive to many others.
Everybody has their own cups of tea and personal preferences. In fact, most people have a "type."
Nothing wrong with that.
 
2013-10-22 01:37:54 PM  
Sure, Kate was great for a while, but after the first few million times with her it got old fast. Trust me.
 
2013-10-22 01:41:44 PM  

garandman1a: Sure, Kate was great for a while, but after the first few million times with her it got old fast. Trust me.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

Try all you want but you will never get me off your Fark threads
 
2013-10-22 01:47:50 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: StopLurkListen: Yeah yea, one of the world's most famous models *still* isn't attractive enough. What chance does the rest of womanhood have?

Being unattractive to one or a few people doesn't mean you're unattractive to many others.
Everybody has their own cups of tea and personal preferences. In fact, most people have a "type."
Nothing wrong with that.


Yeah I totally agree, just responding to criticism that she's not pretty enough... I'm sure Kate Upton has a thick skin, but ordinary women see that criticism and internalize it that they're expected to look even better than a supermodel...
 
2013-10-22 01:50:19 PM  

jaytkay: meanmutton: Uncle Pooky: She's not too shy about being passed around, apparently.

Dating about one guy a year is "being passed around"?

On Fark, "whore" is defined as "woman who has sex unlike me here in Mom's basement".


No shiat. Hilarious to think these studmen are sitting here criticizing Upton's looks as well as if they've managed to heave themselves off their chair and talk to a woman in the past twelve months.
 
2013-10-22 01:58:08 PM  

Tripp Johnston Private Eye: jaytkay: meanmutton: Uncle Pooky: She's not too shy about being passed around, apparently.

Dating about one guy a year is "being passed around"?

On Fark, "whore" is defined as "woman who has sex unlike me here in Mom's basement".

No shiat. Hilarious to think these studmen are sitting here criticizing Upton's looks as well as if they've managed to heave themselves off their chair and talk to a woman in the past twelve months.


They're simply connoisseurs of beauty, having immersed themselves so completely in the great arts of studio comic book adaptation films, zombie television shows and energy drinks.   They can't help but have discernible tastes in all matters, including the female form.
 
2013-10-22 02:06:09 PM  

macadamnut: StopLurkListen: ....I don't get it. She's not 3D printed or in space? Why do we have the life-extension nutter here.

I've noticed he's got a thing about young women. Hence the insecurity about aging, I guess.


I'm just a realist. It's not that I have a "thing" for young women, it's just that I can't see anything about old women that's attractive. I don't see a single thing about the physical side of aging that's positive.

And neither can you.
 
2013-10-22 02:09:43 PM  

InmanRoshi: Tripp Johnston Private Eye: jaytkay: meanmutton: Uncle Pooky: She's not too shy about being passed around, apparently.

Dating about one guy a year is "being passed around"?

On Fark, "whore" is defined as "woman who has sex unlike me here in Mom's basement".

No shiat. Hilarious to think these studmen are sitting here criticizing Upton's looks as well as if they've managed to heave themselves off their chair and talk to a woman in the past twelve months.

They're simply connoisseurs of beauty, having immersed themselves so completely in the great arts of studio comic book adaptation films, zombie television shows and energy drinks.   They can't help but have discernible tastes in all matters, including the female form.


*teehee*

I know, I know. I'm just some pleb whiteknighting a cowbeast like Kate Upton.

Please forgive me, studmen. But tell us, what's your secret to getting women who are 12/10 on the hotness scale? Is it being a pickup artist? Being a MRA? We all know those guys get so much quality poon it's ridiculous.
 
2013-10-22 02:14:40 PM  
Tripp Johnston Private Eye:  We all know those guys get so much quality poon it's ridiculous.

Pledge a Fraternity.

/Top Shelf
 
2013-10-22 02:26:22 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: macadamnut: StopLurkListen: ....I don't get it. She's not 3D printed or in space? Why do we have the life-extension nutter here.

I've noticed he's got a thing about young women. Hence the insecurity about aging, I guess.

I'm just a realist. It's not that I have a "thing" for young women, it's just that I can't see anything about old women that's attractive. I don't see a single thing about the physical side of aging that's positive.

And neither can you.


Sure I can.  The young, smoking hot tail that you fantasize about?  Yeah, well they like money.  Which is something that older men generally tend to have.  And while we're driving off in our convertibles with two bisexual college gymnastic students, you're taking the bus and wondering, "Why?"

Now, tell me about how great it is to be a young, struggling artist or whatever trying to make a difference in this crazy, mixed up world.
 
2013-10-22 02:29:50 PM  
Shes got a cute face and it could support any haircut and she has nice boobs. But she does have that unfortunate "thick but not fat but not curvy either" body
 
2013-10-22 02:42:55 PM  

Dr. Kefarkian: Quantum Apostrophe: macadamnut: StopLurkListen: ....I don't get it. She's not 3D printed or in space? Why do we have the life-extension nutter here.

I've noticed he's got a thing about young women. Hence the insecurity about aging, I guess.

I'm just a realist. It's not that I have a "thing" for young women, it's just that I can't see anything about old women that's attractive. I don't see a single thing about the physical side of aging that's positive.

And neither can you.

Sure I can.  The young, smoking hot tail that you fantasize about?  Yeah, well they like money.  Which is something that older men generally tend to have.  And while we're driving off in our convertibles with two bisexual college gymnastic students, you're taking the bus and wondering, "Why?"

Now, tell me about how great it is to be a young, struggling artist or whatever trying to make a difference in this crazy, mixed up world.


That little anal extrusion of derp just won you a trip into my bait bucket.
PLONK
 
2013-10-22 03:02:49 PM  
This thread is awful and you should all feel awful.

/at work
//can't fix
 
2013-10-22 03:04:56 PM  
Dr. Kefarkian:
Sure I can.  The young, smoking hot tail that you fantasize about?  Yeah, well they like money.  Which is something that older men generally tend to have.  And while we're driving off in our convertibles with two bisexual college gymnastic students, you're taking the bus and wondering, "Why?"

As usual, Pete has the answer:

www.unc.edu
 
2013-10-22 03:08:39 PM  
Dear Kate Upton,

Please please please don't turn into Anna Nicole Smith.
 
2013-10-22 03:14:15 PM  

lasercannon: Wellon Dowd: What's up with all these Ukrainians coming here and dating our blondes?


[i.imgur.com image 563x640]

Wells it is probably because all Ukrainian women look like this
[www.elmoensio.com image 500x348]

Here is a picture of the Ukrainian Playboy centerfold for the month of February. She is 23 and her turn-on's include fire and potatoes. Her turn-off's include the Black Death and men who smell like stale horse urine.
[jillybchronicles.files.wordpress.com image 410x480]


Clearly you've never been to MET-Art.
 
2013-10-22 03:29:33 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: lasercannon: Wellon Dowd: What's up with all these Ukrainians coming here and dating our blondes?


[i.imgur.com image 563x640]

Wells it is probably because all Ukrainian women look like this
[www.elmoensio.com image 500x348]

Here is a picture of the Ukrainian Playboy centerfold for the month of February. She is 23 and her turn-on's include fire and potatoes. Her turn-off's include the Black Death and men who smell like stale horse urine.
[jillybchronicles.files.wordpress.com image 410x480]

Clearly you've never been to MET-Art.


This.

Cripes, their spam has its own folder in my mailbox.
 
2013-10-22 03:45:46 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: frepnog: Quantum Apostrophe: You wouldn't even notice her and her sausage casing of a body.

perhaps, but those girls are not in the media for me to lust over.  I personally find Kate's body to be fantastic.  I likes 'em with some meat on 'em.

What meat? She has floppy boobs which are fatty tissue, no tone whatsoever and a weird hip area. But then I'm not much into big tits, I prefer toned brunettes with either thick butts or more dancer-type leggy bodies.

You know, women that can run away from me.


OMG! Why didn't anyone tell me boobs are made of fat?!?!!
 
2013-10-22 04:03:03 PM  

buckeyebrain: Wellon Dowd: What's up with all these Ukrainians coming here and dating our blondes?


[i.imgur.com image 563x640]

I can't get over the size of this Russian!


Ukraine!  And you know what about Ukraine!!!

www.nba.com

/Yes, I got and greatly appreciated your reference.
 
2013-10-22 04:59:11 PM  
Not to be all studman up in here, but Kate Upton is over-rated. Great rack, pretty face, she's definitely hot. But at the same time there's something vanilla about her and I can't quite put my finger on what it is that makes her ordinary...
 
2013-10-22 05:03:09 PM  

Mr.Poops: Not to be all studman up in here, but Kate Upton is over-rated. Great rack, pretty face, she's definitely hot. But at the same time there's something vanilla about her and I can't quite put my finger on what it is that makes her ordinary...


I'm sorry beautiful woman with a slamming body. "Mr.Poops" on fark.com's Entertainment tab thinks you're ordinary. You should probably just kill yourself right now.
 
2013-10-22 05:11:52 PM  
HotIgneous Intruder
Wellon Dowd:
What's up with all these Ukrainians coming here and dating our blondes?


[i.imgur.com image 563x640]

She's small and he's really big.


She looks surprisingly tall in that picture.
Either he's crouching or she's standing on a beercase.
 
2013-10-22 06:06:49 PM  
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-10-22 06:23:54 PM  

The Voice of Doom: HotIgneous Intruder
Wellon Dowd: What's up with all these Ukrainians coming here and dating our blondes?


[i.imgur.com image 563x640]

She's small and he's really big.

She looks surprisingly tall in that picture.
Either he's crouching or she's standing on a beercase.


I'd guess heels...
 
2013-10-22 07:29:53 PM  

Mr.Poops: I can't quite put my finger on what it is that makes her


I tried putting my finger on her too.  Now I'm not allowed within 500'.
 
2013-10-22 07:58:16 PM  

frepnog: meanmutton: lasercannon: Wellon Dowd: What's up with all these Ukrainians coming here and dating our blondes?


[i.imgur.com image 563x640]

Wells it is probably because all Ukrainian women look like this
[www.elmoensio.com image 500x348]

Here is a picture of the Ukrainian Playboy centerfold for the month of February. She is 23 and her turn-on's include fire and potatoes. Her turn-off's include the Black Death and men who smell like stale horse urine.
[jillybchronicles.files.wordpress.com image 410x480]

[www.myfilmviews.com image 850x478]FTFY

[ecache.ilbe.com image 628x826]

not saying Mila is ugly, but let's not pretend that she is ACTUALLY all that.  'Shop and makeup do farking wonders.


Eh, for someone who's caught first thing in the morning without makeup and with an awkward facial expression, she still looks pretty good.
 
2013-10-22 08:00:35 PM  

GRCooper: Tyrone Slothrop: lasercannon: Wellon Dowd: What's up with all these Ukrainians coming here and dating our blondes?


[i.imgur.com image 563x640]

Wells it is probably because all Ukrainian women look like this
[www.elmoensio.com image 500x348]

Here is a picture of the Ukrainian Playboy centerfold for the month of February. She is 23 and her turn-on's include fire and potatoes. Her turn-off's include the Black Death and men who smell like stale horse urine.
[jillybchronicles.files.wordpress.com image 410x480]

Clearly you've never been to MET-Art.

This.

Cripes, their spam has its own folder in my mailbox.


Try domai.com
 
2013-10-22 08:02:05 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: macadamnut: StopLurkListen: ....I don't get it. She's not 3D printed or in space? Why do we have the life-extension nutter here.

I've noticed he's got a thing about young women. Hence the insecurity about aging, I guess.

I'm just a realist. It's not that I have a "thing" for young women, it's just that I can't see anything about old women that's attractive. I don't see a single thing about the physical side of aging that's positive.

And neither can you.


Depends on what you mean by "old women".  There's certainly a difference between a 20 year old and a 30 year old and 90% of the time, I'd prefer the 30 year old.
 
2013-10-22 08:06:39 PM  

meanmutton: Eh, for someone who's caught first thing in the morning without makeup and with an awkward facial expression, she still looks pretty good.


You must be English.
 
2013-10-22 08:47:49 PM  

ristst: Sinbox: You're a paedophile should you find her face attractive.

Face?  Face?  What is this face thing?


The thing that you blow your load on.
 
2013-10-22 09:03:19 PM  

meanmutton: Quantum Apostrophe: macadamnut: StopLurkListen: ....I don't get it. She's not 3D printed or in space? Why do we have the life-extension nutter here.

I've noticed he's got a thing about young women. Hence the insecurity about aging, I guess.

I'm just a realist. It's not that I have a "thing" for young women, it's just that I can't see anything about old women that's attractive. I don't see a single thing about the physical side of aging that's positive.

And neither can you.

Depends on what you mean by "old women".  There's certainly a difference between a 20 year old and a 30 year old and 90% of the time, I'd prefer the 30 year old.


40+
 
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