If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Townhall)   This is funny because it is true... and infuriating because it is true   (townhall.com) divider line 182
    More: Obvious, humans, Republican, Trey Grayson, SCF, establishments  
•       •       •

7765 clicks; posted to Politics » on 22 Oct 2013 at 11:22 AM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



182 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-10-22 08:54:46 AM
The butthurt is strong with this one.
 
2013-10-22 09:02:26 AM
I have walked through the Gates of Mordor to spare you all the suffering you would endure:

This is particularly dumb.

1) There is nothing ever worth fighting for except Democrat policies
2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives
3) You're a winner just by virtue of being an establishment Republican
4) Trash conservatives, but hold your fire against Democrats
5) Communication skills are completely irrelevant
6) Don't freak people out by discussing how bad things are really getting
7) Accept that conservatism can't win
8) Moderate is always better than conservative
9) It's fine to lie to your base
10) Don't make the mistake of talking about conservative principles when it matters
 
2013-10-22 09:02:38 AM
A sad little crying fit by a sad little man because their sadly pathetic and dangerous tactics failed.

OK - I should be more fair.  He's actually a sad, very large, corpulent man.
 
2013-10-22 09:04:18 AM

kronicfeld: 5) Communication skills are completely irrelevant


Teabaggers are good communicators?  Hardly.
 
2013-10-22 09:06:35 AM
John Hawkins? Pass.
 
2013-10-22 09:09:13 AM
This is funny because it's John Hawkins...and infuriating because someone (possibly John Hawkins) keeps submitting this swill
 
2013-10-22 09:10:07 AM
Ah...Smitty...

lh3.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-10-22 09:24:13 AM

BunkoSquad: This is funny because it's John Hawkins...and infuriating because someone (possibly John Hawkins) keeps submitting this swill


lol, the more I look at this the more that I think you're right.
 
2013-10-22 09:27:18 AM
I'm a confuse, is this a conservative blaming RINO's for the recent debt thingy not being allowed to trash the country?
 
2013-10-22 09:31:05 AM
When you talk about conservative principles, mention them occasionally, quietly, as if they're something your base is forcing you to do.

By all means, scream from the mountain tops your principles of racism, sexism, bigotry, and classism. Be loud, be proud, and be prepared to lose.
 
2013-10-22 09:32:14 AM

Barfmaker: I'm a confuse, is this a conservative blaming RINO's for the recent debt thingy not being allowed to trash the country?


Yes, but more broadly blaming them for the Tea Party not holding a hegemony over the entire country and everything it does, despite their brilliant "ideas."
 
2013-10-22 09:32:43 AM

Barfmaker: I'm a confuse, is this a conservative blaming RINO's for the recent debt thingy not being allowed to trash the country?


No, this is a radical who is bitter that his dreams of empire have been quashed by harsh reality, and that the "Establishment" is keeping him from having a Super Bouncy Castle, like the Ivory Tower that his political heroes grew up in...
 
2013-10-22 09:36:53 AM

kronicfeld: I have walked through the Gates of Mordor to spare you all the suffering you would endure:

This is particularly dumb.

1) There is nothing ever worth fighting for except Democrat policies
2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives
3) You're a winner just by virtue of being an establishment Republican
4) Trash conservatives, but hold your fire against Democrats
5) Communication skills are completely irrelevant
6) Don't freak people out by discussing how bad things are really getting
7) Accept that conservatism can't win
8) Moderate is always better than conservative
9) It's fine to lie to your base
10) Don't make the mistake of talking about conservative principles when it matters


Is this like being a Chicago Cubs fan?
 
2013-10-22 09:39:53 AM

Barfmaker: I'm a confuse, is this a conservative blaming RINO's for the recent debt thingy not being allowed to trash the country?


You are not so confuse, because you would be right.
 
2013-10-22 09:45:44 AM

Nadie_AZ: kronicfeld: I have walked through the Gates of Mordor to spare you all the suffering you would endure:

This is particularly dumb.

1) There is nothing ever worth fighting for except Democrat policies
2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives
3) You're a winner just by virtue of being an establishment Republican
4) Trash conservatives, but hold your fire against Democrats
5) Communication skills are completely irrelevant
6) Don't freak people out by discussing how bad things are really getting
7) Accept that conservatism can't win
8) Moderate is always better than conservative
9) It's fine to lie to your base
10) Don't make the mistake of talking about conservative principles when it matters

Is this like being a Chicago Cubs fan?


No. Being a Cubs fan is pure. You KNOW from the get go that the Cubs aren't going anywhere near the playoffs, so you can just sit back, enjoy the game, revel in the park, the smell of popcorn, have a beer, and find joy in an afternoon. Cubs fandom is Zen baseball. There is no win, there is no lose. There is just the game, and IF they happen to win, that's a bonus, but it's not the reason you go to the games.
 
2013-10-22 09:45:47 AM

i.imgur.com


"I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips..."

 
2013-10-22 09:46:56 AM

hubiestubert: Nadie_AZ: kronicfeld: I have walked through the Gates of Mordor to spare you all the suffering you would endure:

This is particularly dumb.

1) There is nothing ever worth fighting for except Democrat policies
2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives
3) You're a winner just by virtue of being an establishment Republican
4) Trash conservatives, but hold your fire against Democrats
5) Communication skills are completely irrelevant
6) Don't freak people out by discussing how bad things are really getting
7) Accept that conservatism can't win
8) Moderate is always better than conservative
9) It's fine to lie to your base
10) Don't make the mistake of talking about conservative principles when it matters

Is this like being a Chicago Cubs fan?

No. Being a Cubs fan is pure. You KNOW from the get go that the Cubs aren't going anywhere near the playoffs, so you can just sit back, enjoy the game, revel in the park, the smell of popcorn, have a beer, and find joy in an afternoon. Cubs fandom is Zen baseball. There is no win, there is no lose. There is just the game, and IF they happen to win, that's a bonus, but it's not the reason you go to the games.


So ... rule #7 up above.
 
2013-10-22 09:46:59 AM
Keep on keepin' on, Tea Party. Only good things will happen. Everyone will come rushing back to your way of thinking eventually, and then you'll be the one that was right. You're the only sane one left in the room, everyone else is crazy or corrupt. Only you can save us.
 
2013-10-22 10:02:34 AM

jayhawk88: Keep on keepin' on, Tea Party. Only good things will happen. Everyone will come rushing back to your way of thinking eventually, and then you'll be the one that was right. You're the only sane one left in the room, everyone else is crazy or corrupt. Only you can save us.


The one thing this jackanape reminds me of is the old adage that "The one thing that all your failed relationships have in common is you."

And oddly enough, all the teeth gnashing is about what you'd expect from folks who can't get that through their thick, intelligence repellent skulls.

The party is currently suffering from woes that were laid out when folks decided to give the NeoCons a seat at the table. Ivory Tower games theorists who had a brilliant vision that was based entirely on games theory, and a philosophical bend towards governance. Not philosophical in the classic sense, but philosophical as in betting that their pet games theory on politics could work on a large scale. And the policies we see coming from the Heritage Foundation and other NeoCon "think tanks" are Ivory Tower screeds writ large. It was a grand experiment, and it came from folks who were heavily insulated, and comfortable, and so much so that they don't really see the fallout on a personal scale, so thus, its effects simply don't matter to them. In part, because they just wanted to poke the model and see if it could work, in part because some of them hold to a willfully ignorant and flawed interpretation of "subjective reality."  The fact that the nation hasn't crumbled under this pie in the sky vision is in part to the relatively robust mechanisms to keep things rolling along, and in part because occasionally folks put the kibosh on the crazier ideas.

And that's the problem. We have a bunch of leaders who are wedded not to the fate of the nation, and working for their constituents, but for ideology itself. Well, we have idealists, and a lot of opportunists who realize that spouting the idealized verbage gets them some pretty cushy gigs, and fat parachutes for when things go FUBAR.

I get it. We DO need idealists to hold us up to a higher standard. To help us light the way in somewhat murky waters. The problem is, you can't use idealism alone to govern. At some point, you have to actually dip the oars in the water to make the rowboat of state actually go somewhere. You can't just admire the gunwales, the oarlocks, and the hull, but you have to roll up your sleeves, and actually take the oars in hand, and pull. A lot. Repeatedly. Not just dip them in, and make the motions. And right now, we have a bunch of idealists who are trying to figure out which way the damn boat is going to go, and working against one another in the worst way possible, and all the while spitting, hissing, and cursing one another for NOT working with them, while not actually agreeing to a destination, and we have some passengers who are screeching that we're not steering towards the depth charges that they just threw overboard, and actively trying to wrest the oars from folks who see the danger, and are trying to get us the Hells away from it.
 
2013-10-22 10:03:11 AM
s22.postimg.org
 
2013-10-22 10:05:52 AM
Man, those teabaggers are PISSED that the government shutdown wasn't permanent and that the debt ceiling got lifted.
Not to worry, though.  They'll try again in January.
 
2013-10-22 10:06:08 AM
He got his start in high school with his essay "Why cheerleaders are stuck-up biatches who are intimidated by my intelligence and my grandma says I'm the handsomest boy at school anyway."
 
2013-10-22 10:08:45 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: He got his start in high school with his essay "Why cheerleaders are stuck-up biatches who are intimidated by my intelligence and my grandma says I'm the handsomest boy at school anyway."


Yep.  Wimpy doughboy turned political and internet tough guy to compensate for his unused weener.  And he's not even good at that.
 
2013-10-22 10:25:42 AM

kronicfeld: I have walked through the Gates of Mordor to spare you all the suffering you would endure:



si0.twimg.com
 
2013-10-22 10:36:06 AM

Diogenes: A sad little crying fit by a sad little man because their sadly pathetic and dangerous tactics failed.

OK - I should be more fair.  He's actually a sad, very large, corpulent man.


Wait, that sounds familiar.

cameroncrazy1984: John Hawkins? Pass.


Oh.

It's a tragic commentary that being proven fantastically wrong in every statement made during the 2012 Presidential election did nothing to discredit this perpetually fantastically wrong dunderhead with his audience.
 
2013-10-22 10:37:27 AM
At what point do Republicans realize that web sites like Townhall and people like John Hawkins may as well be on the DNC payroll?
 
2013-10-22 10:43:29 AM
not enough ass cream in the world to sooth that much butt-hurt.
 
2013-10-22 10:47:02 AM
We are getting seriously trolled by those that greenlight...
 
2013-10-22 10:48:48 AM
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-22 10:54:44 AM

hubiestubert: Nadie_AZ: kronicfeld: I have walked through the Gates of Mordor to spare you all the suffering you would endure:

This is particularly dumb.

1) There is nothing ever worth fighting for except Democrat policies
2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives
3) You're a winner just by virtue of being an establishment Republican
4) Trash conservatives, but hold your fire against Democrats
5) Communication skills are completely irrelevant
6) Don't freak people out by discussing how bad things are really getting
7) Accept that conservatism can't win
8) Moderate is always better than conservative
9) It's fine to lie to your base
10) Don't make the mistake of talking about conservative principles when it matters

Is this like being a Chicago Cubs fan?

No. Being a Cubs fan is pure. You KNOW from the get go that the Cubs aren't going anywhere near the playoffs, so you can just sit back, enjoy the game, revel in the park, the smell of popcorn, have a beer, and find joy in an afternoon. Cubs fandom is Zen baseball. There is no win, there is no lose. There is just the game, and IF they happen to win, that's a bonus, but it's not the reason you go to the games.


Besides, Cubness is an incurable disease. You can cure conservatism, you just need to read a few books, spend a little time outdoors. But there is no cure for Cubness. You spend too much time on the north side, and you'll find yourself rooting for the Cubs, and then you can read all the books on baseball, you can go to a hypnotist or a psychiatrist, you can change your diet, you can move away, and still in April you will find yourself thinking, maybe this is the year.

/Fortunately, by May the suffering is usually over.
 
2013-10-22 11:06:29 AM
2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives

Maybe "conservatives" should stop getting excited by dipshiats like Cruz, Palin, Bachmann, etc.

/your blog sucks
 
2013-10-22 11:15:23 AM
Typically I don't go to these links but once in a while I like to go to get a glimpse of the asshattery that is Teabag Nation.

Another great column that is spot on. The establishment GOP are destroying their party. I say that after two or three more elections where Rinos are elected, the GOP will be gone.

You nailed it. Only the last five words, but you nailed it.

By the way, a new book is just out called "Extortion" by Peter Schweizer. I heard Peter interviewed and he is revealing a whole lot in that book. I will get it and read it. It seems that obama would go to CEO's of major Corporations and threaten them to contribute to his campaign.........OR ELSE!  THAT is exactly what he did the Chief Justice Roberts and Roberts caved big time.

That sounds just like Obama. He just went up to the chief justice of the Supreme Court and threatened him with OR ELSE and Roberts caved big time.

I say burn down the forest. A greater forest will grow in it's place.

Umm. That's not how forests work.

If it comes right down to it, it's better to go down to an honorable defeat than to win and have the media angry at you because you won a bruising race against a Democrat.

I agree, it's totally better to have ideas so bad you can't get elected. The Nazi party has the same problem when it comes polling time. But you know, fought the good fight or whatever.

Some say it's just corruption, big government begets more readily available graft, the kabuki theater is produced and directed by progressives (think emails from John Boehner to Harry Reid, plotting the optics of meeting to exempt themselves from O-care as though it was some kind of other battle).

You forgot to take your pills didn't you.

This sir was the most important article that you have ever written and needs to be shouted far and wide from every rooftop in America.

I spent half of last night shouting David Letterman's top ten list from my rooftop, that doesn't mean I'm crazy.
 
2013-10-22 11:19:54 AM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: [i.imgur.com image 480x360]
"I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips..."


076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com

You'll get nothing and like it!


/good call
 
2013-10-22 11:25:03 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-10-22 11:27:39 AM

kronicfeld: 2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives


This one is true, though.

The GOP is constantly trying to destroy the poor.
 
2013-10-22 11:28:30 AM

Voiceofreason01: BunkoSquad: This is funny because it's John Hawkins...and infuriating because someone (possibly John Hawkins) keeps submitting this swill

lol, the more I look at this the more that I think you're right.


I wonder if the people that pay for sponsored links are aware that all they have to do is toss a salad here or there, and they'll get a constant supply of links (like Hawkins and that asshat that used to submit in the entertainment tab).
 
2013-10-22 11:31:07 AM
'Conservatives' aren't happy unless they feel as if they are being oppressed.
 
2013-10-22 11:31:19 AM

kronicfeld: 2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives


This explains the right wing war on homosexuals...
 
2013-10-22 11:31:46 AM
Wrong.  It's funny because it's bullshiat.  It's infuriating because voters believe it.
 
2013-10-22 11:32:45 AM

kronicfeld: I have walked through the Gates of Mordor to spare you all the suffering you would endure:

This is particularly dumb.

1) There is nothing ever worth fighting for except Democrat policies
2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives
3) You're a winner just by virtue of being an establishment Republican
4) Trash conservatives, but hold your fire against Democrats
5) Communication skills are completely irrelevant
6) Don't freak people out by discussing how bad things are really getting
7) Accept that conservatism can't win
8) Moderate is always better than conservative
9) It's fine to lie to your base
10) Don't make the mistake of talking about conservative principles when it matters


wp.streetwise.co
 
2013-10-22 11:33:30 AM
Radical Tea Bagger Silver Linings Playbook.

Bring it, a-holes!
 
2013-10-22 11:33:31 AM
Not clicking on Tardhall.
Anyone want to sum it up?
 
2013-10-22 11:34:40 AM

cameroncrazy1984: John Hawkins? Pass.


I saw the ClownHall logo and immediately said "Pass."
 
2013-10-22 11:35:58 AM
Thats the whiniest thing I have seen this week.  And I had to listen to my 10 year old scream about getting an xbone for christmas despite not playing his new xbox games because he finds them boring.  Somebody stick a tit or dick in this articles writers mouth to calm him down and change his diaper.
 
2013-10-22 11:36:07 AM

Richard C Stanford: Not clicking on Tardhall.
Anyone want to sum it up?


They are apparently owned by people who would make money if the economy took a major hit.
 
2013-10-22 11:36:07 AM
The Tea Party is doomed to fail, because they see useful and necessary qualities like a sense of perspective, the ability to compromise, and a reliance on data and evidence to form the basis for policy as weaknesses and signs of ideological impurity.

History has not been kind to groups that think like they do. The Puritans, Jacobins, Brownshirts, and Khmer Rouge all had brief heydays, but then they vanished just as quickly as they rose.
 
2013-10-22 11:37:53 AM

Richard C Stanford: Not clicking on Tardhall.
Anyone want to sum it up?


Pretty much covered in the thread.
 
2013-10-22 11:38:15 AM

hubiestubert: Nadie_AZ: kronicfeld: I have walked through the Gates of Mordor to spare you all the suffering you would endure:

This is particularly dumb.

1) There is nothing ever worth fighting for except Democrat policies
2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives
3) You're a winner just by virtue of being an establishment Republican
4) Trash conservatives, but hold your fire against Democrats
5) Communication skills are completely irrelevant
6) Don't freak people out by discussing how bad things are really getting
7) Accept that conservatism can't win
8) Moderate is always better than conservative
9) It's fine to lie to your base
10) Don't make the mistake of talking about conservative principles when it matters

Is this like being a Chicago Cubs fan?

No. Being a Cubs fan is pure. You KNOW from the get go that the Cubs aren't going anywhere near the playoffs, so you can just sit back, enjoy the game, revel in the park, the smell of popcorn, have a beer, and find joy in an afternoon. Cubs fandom is Zen baseball. There is no win, there is no lose. There is just the game, and IF they happen to win, that's a bonus, but it's not the reason you go to the games.


As a Cubs fan I can confirm this.  Tea Partier's hate to lose, we just got used to it and shrug it off.
 
2013-10-22 11:38:39 AM

Barfmaker: I'm a confuse, is this a conservative blaming RINO's for the recent debt thingy not being allowed to trash the country?


I'm confused because even though the article is about The Establishment Republican Handbook, it only took until the 4th or 5th entry for them to switch viewpoints to where it was rules from the  Mainstream MSM Media playbook.
 
2013-10-22 11:38:56 AM

kronicfeld: I have walked through the Gates of Mordor to spare you all the suffering you would endure:

This is particularly dumb.

1) There is nothing ever worth fighting for except Democrat policies
2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives
3) You're a winner just by virtue of being an establishment Republican
4) Trash conservatives, but hold your fire against Democrats
5) Communication skills are completely irrelevant
6) Don't freak people out by discussing how bad things are really getting
7) Accept that conservatism can't win
8) Moderate is always better than conservative
9) It's fine to lie to your base
10) Don't make the mistake of talking about conservative principles when it matters


Why didn't I read the comments first, I lost a lot of good brain cells in there...
 
Displayed 50 of 182 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report