Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Star)   How many highway workers does it take to change a light bulb? The answer won't surprise you   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 53
    More: Obvious, Highways Agency, SWNS  
•       •       •

8441 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2013 at 9:25 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-10-22 09:16:13 AM  
The problem here is that the rich aren't being taxed enough, not that there is too much wasted spending.
 
2013-10-22 09:25:57 AM  
Not all light bulbs are created equal.
 
2013-10-22 09:29:37 AM  
I'm sure every single one of those workmen had an important job that a layman wouldn't understand or recognize from a simple photograph.

Get off your high horses.
 
2013-10-22 09:29:57 AM  
I wouldn't necessarily call them 'workers'
 
2013-10-22 09:32:13 AM  
Q: how many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: only one.... but the lightbulb must really want to change.

Q: how many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: none. It's a hardware problem.
 
2013-10-22 09:34:32 AM  
That picture could have been taken here in Oregon. I once drove by a DOT crew, 14 guys with (counted them) coffee cups and one guy with a shovel working on a pot hole.
 
2013-10-22 09:35:01 AM  
I guessed 5. Lemme check.

/close
 
2013-10-22 09:36:28 AM  
Yet another example of the efficiencies, brought about by compulsory competitive tendering, of the private sector.
 
2013-10-22 09:37:16 AM  
I can't wait till my health care is run by .gov jobs.
 
2013-10-22 09:37:37 AM  
"The hilarious photo was taken on a dual carriageway. It shows six men in high-vis jackets standing around while their mate scales a ladder to fix a traffic light at the M5 junction near Cranbrook, Devon."

soo how many people will automatically assume this occurred in the US without actually reading the article. Don't get me wrong the US has its own issues in this area but I also feel that I must assert that just because you see men standing on the side of the road during construction doesn't mean its not productive to have them there. Heavy & Highway work tends to have a good deal of stand time, not because of unions or lazy workers but rather because of the nature of the work itself. Often times this work goes from requiring 20 people just to keep up the pace to needing less than 2-3 when your waiting on the next truck load of materials or piece of equipment that you now needs to make it down the road. not having those 20 people there means your production schedule grinds to a halt but having them means they end up standing around at times. Same with equipment, I just wrapped up a small project where we had 3 different sizes of trackhoes on site and a couple of specialized offroad trucks, all of which was expensive rental items but it would cost us more not to have the appropriate piece of equipment on site within reach than to actually just pay for it.

The general pubic ussually never see's the full picture on these sorts of things, all they see is 20 men and 15 pieces of equipment sitting idle, they don't understand that its that way for a reason many times and not because the company likes paying people to stand.
 
2013-10-22 09:38:15 AM  
The other 6 not shown in the photo must have been on a break.
 
2013-10-22 09:38:45 AM  
If they made a shovel that could stand up by itself, half of those guys would be out of a job.
 
2013-10-22 09:39:50 AM  

FarkinNortherner: Yet another example of the efficiencies, brought about by compulsory competitive tendering, of the private sector.


so the roads and traffic lights have now been privatized?  i guess we did build that, then?
 
2013-10-22 09:41:11 AM  

keldaria: "The hilarious photo was taken on a dual carriageway. It shows six men in high-vis jackets standing around while their mate scales a ladder to fix a traffic light at the M5 junction near Cranbrook, Devon."

soo how many people will automatically assume this occurred in the US without actually reading the article. Don't get me wrong the US has its own issues in this area but I also feel that I must assert that just because you see men standing on the side of the road during construction doesn't mean its not productive to have them there. Heavy & Highway work tends to have a good deal of stand time, not because of unions or lazy workers but rather because of the nature of the work itself. Often times this work goes from requiring 20 people just to keep up the pace to needing less than 2-3 when your waiting on the next truck load of materials or piece of equipment that you now needs to make it down the road. not having those 20 people there means your production schedule grinds to a halt but having them means they end up standing around at times. Same with equipment, I just wrapped up a small project where we had 3 different sizes of trackhoes on site and a couple of specialized offroad trucks, all of which was expensive rental items but it would cost us more not to have the appropriate piece of equipment on site within reach than to actually just pay for it.

The general pubic ussually never see's the full picture on these sorts of things, all they see is 20 men and 15 pieces of equipment sitting idle, they don't understand that its that way for a reason many times and not because the company likes paying people to stand.


Shaddup and let us froth.
 
2013-10-22 09:43:51 AM  
And I bet they argued for an hour over which one of them was actually going to climb the ladder and do the unscrewing.
 
2013-10-22 09:44:41 AM  
All those individuals in that pic have important functions. Like here..
s14.postimg.org

Digging a hole
Is that the way you treat me?
Digging a hole
Just tie me up and beat me
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-10-22 09:50:41 AM  
I spent 30+ minutes in a traffic jam. At the end I found dozens of people standing around watching one guy with a jackhammer beating on the median barrier. A long series of scars showed me there was plenty of room for more people to work. But assigning 30 people instead of 25 to save time for drivers is not how the agency does business.
 
2013-10-22 09:55:47 AM  
In order to be more efficient, many US cities attempted to have police officers change the light bulbs.  Out of habit, most of them would just beat the lamp post for being dark.
 
2013-10-22 09:56:57 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: All those individuals in that pic have important functions. Like here..
[s14.postimg.org image 502x649]

Digging a hole
Is that the way you treat me?
Digging a hole
Just tie me up and beat me


That picture obviously wasn't taken in the U.S.  Otherwise the fellow in the hole would be named Jose.
 
2013-10-22 10:01:05 AM  
All I want to know is what the hell this image in the article is.
images.dailystar-uk.co.uk
Who thought this was a good idea?
 
2013-10-22 10:01:14 AM  

capt.hollister: Q: how many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: only one.... but the lightbulb must really want to change.

Q: how many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: none. It's a hardware problem.


Q: how many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: one.  He holds the bulb and the World revolves around him.

/I'm the lead singer in a cheesy cover band.
//I'm also a State of FL. Gov. employee.
///Oblig. third slashies because I can't remember lyrics.
 
2013-10-22 10:01:37 AM  

Iphel Tabubi: In order to be more efficient, many US cities attempted to have police officers change the light bulbs.  Out of habit, most of them would just beat the lamp post for being dark.


www.evilskippyatwork.com
 
2013-10-22 10:07:56 AM  

SlothB77: so the roads and traffic lights have now been privatized? i guess we did build that, then?


Maintenance of traffic lights is, by law, contracted out by all local councils, in this instance to Siemens, through a process called compulsory competitive tendering. Many other council services also fall under this requirement. It has very rarely resulted in a truly competitive market, with 85% of outsourced local and national spending now going to Serco and Capita and other services, particularly in transport maintenance*, almost irretrievably tied to single providers.

*in the case of the London Underground this proved so catastrophic that a Conservative mayor re-nationalised the providers. London is in the fortunate position of having a mayor with the wealth and power to do this, most local councils have neither.
 
2013-10-22 10:12:39 AM  

RINO: All I want to know is what the hell this image in the article is.
[images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 300x241]
Who thought this was a good idea?


It's an art installation, Pierre Vivant's "Traffic Light Tree". It used to stand in Canary Wharf but was taken down a few years ago.
 
2013-10-22 10:24:58 AM  

FarkinNortherner: RINO: All I want to know is what the hell this image in the article is.
[images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 300x241]
Who thought this was a good idea?

It's an art installation, Pierre Vivant's "Traffic Light Tree". It used to stand in Canary Wharf but was taken down a few years ago.


I don't know who green lighted the project  , but  at least someone put a stop to it.
 
2013-10-22 10:26:12 AM  
Who uses light bulbs anymore? Our signals are all LED's.
 
2013-10-22 10:27:18 AM  

FarkinNortherner: RINO: All I want to know is what the hell this image in the article is.
[images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 300x241]
Who thought this was a good idea?

It's an art installation, Pierre Vivant's "Traffic Light Tree". It used to stand in Canary Wharf but was taken down a few years ago.


Oh. I had a mental image of some Salvadore Dali-like intersection. Thanks for clearing that up.
 
2013-10-22 10:31:49 AM  

johnryan51: Who uses light bulbs anymore? Our signals are all LED's.


There was a story on here last winter where, because led lights don't generate a whole lot of heat, traffic lights were becoming frozen over and unuseable.
 
2013-10-22 10:40:41 AM  
oi34.tinypic.com
 
2013-10-22 10:44:09 AM  

RINO: johnryan51: Who uses light bulbs anymore? Our signals are all LED's.

There was a story on here last winter where, because led lights don't generate a whole lot of heat, traffic lights were becoming frozen over and unuseable.


I saw that, but there are better solutions than a light bulb, like purpose-built heating elements that could maintain a constant temperature even when that bulb was not burning.

I've seen plenty of burned-out lenses on traffic lights.
 
2013-10-22 11:11:34 AM  

stupiddream: capt.hollister: Q: how many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: only one.... but the lightbulb must really want to change.

Q: how many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: none. It's a hardware problem.

Q: how many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: one.  He holds the bulb and the World revolves around him.


Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3.One to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room spins.

Q: How many policemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just beat the room for being black.

Q: How many Chiropracter does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it takes 12 visits.
 
2013-10-22 11:23:15 AM  
When did we go from being employees to being workers?

I read about 'workers' in Russia and other Communist countries. I grew up calling the employed 'employees'. How did this worker bullshiat come about?
 
2013-10-22 11:40:15 AM  

keldaria: "The hilarious photo was taken on a dual carriageway. It shows six men in high-vis jackets standing around while their mate scales a ladder to fix a traffic light at the M5 junction near Cranbrook, Devon."

soo how many people will automatically assume this occurred in the US without actually reading the article. Don't get me wrong the US has its own issues in this area but I also feel that I must assert that just because you see men standing on the side of the road during construction doesn't mean its not productive to have them there. Heavy & Highway work tends to have a good deal of stand time, not because of unions or lazy workers but rather because of the nature of the work itself. Often times this work goes from requiring 20 people just to keep up the pace to needing less than 2-3 when your waiting on the next truck load of materials or piece of equipment that you now needs to make it down the road. not having those 20 people there means your production schedule grinds to a halt but having them means they end up standing around at times. Same with equipment, I just wrapped up a small project where we had 3 different sizes of trackhoes on site and a couple of specialized offroad trucks, all of which was expensive rental items but it would cost us more not to have the appropriate piece of equipment on site within reach than to actually just pay for it.

The general pubic ussually never see's the full picture on these sorts of things, all they see is 20 men and 15 pieces of equipment sitting idle, they don't understand that its that way for a reason many times and not because the company likes paying people to stand.


I knew they were UK by the way they were dressed.  US workers are much sloppier.

My experience in road work is a US lighting crew is 3-5, depending on the truck being used.
 
2013-10-22 11:47:23 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: All those individuals in that pic have important functions. Like here..


Growing up in California I always thought the CalTrans logo should be the silouette of a half dozen guys standing watching one guy standing in a hole.  If only you could also concisely convey the part where they block a lane of traffic for five miles for a week to do work on a ten foot section of road for an hour*.

*Removing a piece of shredded tire takes about an hour, right?
 
2013-10-22 12:04:06 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: RINO: johnryan51: Who uses light bulbs anymore? Our signals are all LED's.

There was a story on here last winter where, because led lights don't generate a whole lot of heat, traffic lights were becoming frozen over and unuseable.

I saw that, but there are better solutions than a light bulb, like purpose-built heating elements that could maintain a constant temperature even when that bulb was not burning.

I've seen plenty of burned-out lenses on traffic lights.


That kinda negates the whole energy saving thing then doesn't it? Electric heaters are very inefficient, I could see using the heaters costing more than using incandescent bulbs.
 
2013-10-22 12:07:05 PM  

RINO: All I want to know is what the hell this image in the article is.
[images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 300x241]
Who thought this was a good idea?


LOL. That's gotta be shopped. It is shopped, isn't it? ISN'T IT?
 
2013-10-22 12:24:47 PM  

Frantic Freddie: The Irresponsible Captain: RINO: johnryan51: Who uses light bulbs anymore? Our signals are all LED's.

There was a story on here last winter where, because led lights don't generate a whole lot of heat, traffic lights were becoming frozen over and unuseable.

I saw that, but there are better solutions than a light bulb, like purpose-built heating elements that could maintain a constant temperature even when that bulb was not burning.

I've seen plenty of burned-out lenses on traffic lights.

That kinda negates the whole energy saving thing then doesn't it? Electric heaters are very inefficient, I could see using the heaters costing more than using incandescent bulbs.


You would, in temperate climates, only run them when the temperature was near freezing. Alaska may be different, but most places that would only be a small part of the year, and often only overnight.
 
2013-10-22 12:27:04 PM  
Does this have anything to do with the Socialists?
 
2013-10-22 12:50:39 PM  

MythDragon: stupiddream: capt.hollister: Q: how many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: only one.... but the lightbulb must really want to change.

Q: how many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: none. It's a hardware problem.

Q: how many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: one.  He holds the bulb and the World revolves around him.

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3.One to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room spins.

Q: How many policemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just beat the room for being black.

Q: How many Chiropracter does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it takes 12 visits.


Q: How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Thirteen.  One to do it, and twelve to sing.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two.  One to fill the bathtub with machine parts, and the other to paint the giraffe purple.
 
2013-10-22 01:04:55 PM  
Lets see.

1 electrician to change the bulb (only certified electricians are allowed to do this)
1 apprentice electrician to carry the electricians toolbox and hand him the bulb once he gets up the ladder (gotta use both hands while climbing a ladder)
1 laborer to carry the ladder and set it up (Electricians don't do that type of stuff)
2 safety workers to handle traffic coming from 2 directions (duh)
1 supervisor to coordinate the work (someone's gotta stand back and make sure that everything is getting done)

and finally...

1 safety observer to make sure that the work and traffic management was done safely and by the book.

There. That makes seven.
 
2013-10-22 01:26:57 PM  
This reminds me of the tire blowout we had on the way to Cedar Point.  I'm on the ground working the lug nuts giving my friend the DPW worker a break as he was looking for a four-way tire iron (which it turns out we didn't have) as an IT guy from AT&T cracked union jokes, because the DPW guy and I are union workers.  I pointed out who was actually working on the problem while he watched with the kids. I get why he cracked union jokes, since I have been ribbing him for working at AT&T while I have been having better service from Verizon.

So, it took 32 people to be present, 7 of which were adults, while two changed a tire on a RV.

DPW guy's favorite joke:  A guy is sitting on his front porch one sunny day and watched a man go by digging a hole at regular intervals along the road.  Two hours pass by, then another man comes along and fills the holes back in.  The man sitting on the porch asked why he was filling in the holes, and the reply he got back "Oh, today we are installing new road signs and Jim is out sick.  It is Jim's job to put the signs in the holes."
 
2013-10-22 01:43:43 PM  
Did you all know there is a new invention that is going to put tens of thousands of city DPW workers out of a job?

It is a shovel that stands up by itself.
 
2013-10-22 01:46:41 PM  
I'd say it depends on how big the light bulb is and where it's located.
img.fark.net
 
2013-10-22 01:53:06 PM  

offmymeds: RINO: All I want to know is what the hell this image in the article is.
[images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 300x241]
Who thought this was a good idea?

LOL. That's gotta be shopped. It is shopped, isn't it? ISN'T IT?


Its a piece of art actually. I don't remember where from but I've seen used quite a bit
 
2013-10-22 03:11:25 PM  
They outsourcing to American unions?
 
2013-10-22 03:50:55 PM  

FrancoFile: Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to fill the bathtub with machine parts, and the other to paint the giraffe purple.


In the spirit of this one:

Q: how many Dadaists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fish
 
2013-10-22 04:10:41 PM  

FrancoFile: MythDragon: stupiddream: capt.hollister: Q: how many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: only one.... but the lightbulb must really want to change.

Q: how many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: none. It's a hardware problem.

Q: how many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: one.  He holds the bulb and the World revolves around him.

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3.One to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room spins.

Q: How many policemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just beat the room for being black.

Q: How many Chiropracter does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it takes 12 visits.

Q: How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Thirteen.  One to do it, and twelve to sing.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two.  One to fill the bathtub with machine parts, and the other to paint the giraffe purple.


Q: How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, let the biatch cook in the dark for all I give a fark!

Q: How many Nam vets does it take to change a light bulb?
A: YOU DON"T KNOW, YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!!
 
2013-10-22 04:19:19 PM  

RINO: All I want to know is what the hell this image in the article is.
[images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 300x241]
Who thought this was a good idea?


I think that's a piece of outdoor art, and not an actual traffic signal....At least I HOPE it's just a piece of outdoor art...
 
2013-10-22 05:07:14 PM  

CJHardin: FrancoFile: MythDragon: stupiddream: capt.hollister: Q: how many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: only one.... but the lightbulb must really want to change.

Q: how many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: none. It's a hardware problem.

Q: how many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: one.  He holds the bulb and the World revolves around him.

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3.One to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room spins.

Q: How many policemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just beat the room for being black.

Q: How many Chiropracter does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it takes 12 visits.

Q: How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Thirteen.  One to do it, and twelve to sing.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two.  One to fill the bathtub with machine parts, and the other to paint the giraffe purple.

Q: How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, let the biatch cook in the dark for all I give a fark!

Q: How many Nam vets does it take to change a light bulb?
A: YOU DON"T KNOW, YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!!


Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's alright, I'll just sit here alone, in the dark.
 
2013-10-22 05:19:58 PM  

Spare Me: That picture could have been taken here in Oregon. I once drove by a DOT crew, 14 guys with (counted them) coffee cups and one guy with a shovel working on a pot hole.


So of course you assume the worst. Shall I go down a list of what could have been?

Perhaps the hole was only big enough for one guy.

Perhaps it was break time for the electricians, but the laborers start at 8 so they take their break later?

Perhaps there only needed to be a few more shovels of dirt before the next part of the job.

Perhaps it wasn't starting time for them yet, could be a crew that starts later in the morning.

Perhaps they were waiting for more material to come in,but due to traffic, the delivery truck was late.

Or, you could assume the absolute worst of the people you see. Somehow you think it's more likely that those 13 guys were able to convince 1 guy to dig the entire hole by himself, while they lazed around drinking coffee? Just give your servants the benefit of the doubt for farks sake.
 
Displayed 50 of 53 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report