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(ABC)   Headline: How would Steve Jobs fix Obamacare? Solution: Step 1: Second Coming. Step 2: New Pancreas. Step 3: There is no step three because he's dead, not Jesus   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 120
    More: Stupid, obamacare, Steven Hayward  
•       •       •

850 clicks; posted to Politics » on 21 Oct 2013 at 6:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-21 07:50:00 PM  

machodonkeywrestler: Fark keeps cutting off the end of my


Johnson! Johnson! Where is that guy? Hey, what is that over there, some kind of
 
2013-10-21 07:50:31 PM  

machodonkeywrestler: machodonkeywrestler: A Dark Evil Omen: It galls me that Steve Jobs is such a farking icon of my industry. It makes me want to move to the moon, where there are no computers.

You just keep thinking

that.................


i.imgur.com

On the moon we do not use your primitive computers. We have thinking slaves, and when we require calculations we beat them with tire irons until they produce the correct result.
 
2013-10-21 07:51:44 PM  

A Dark Evil Omen: machodonkeywrestler: machodonkeywrestler: A Dark Evil Omen: It galls me that Steve Jobs is such a farking icon of my industry. It makes me want to move to the moon, where there are no computers.

You just keep thinking

that.................

[i.imgur.com image 461x325]

On the moon we do not use your primitive computers. We have thinking slaves, and when we require calculations we beat them with tire irons until they produce the correct result.


Never Forget.
 
2013-10-21 07:53:10 PM  
JobsCare: "You can always have better, but you'll never pay more"
 
2013-10-21 07:53:30 PM  

Snapper Carr: Is it superficial "to say that if only Steve Jobs or Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos were in charge of these enterprises they'd work better?"

Yes. Neither Bezos nor Jobs had to design a website that would be required to immediately accommodate up to 45 million unique visitors. They started out slow. A website serving as the portal to a major government program doesn't have that luxury.


And shouldn't that question mark be outside the quotation marks?
 
2013-10-21 07:57:04 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Was Steve Jobs a health care expert or something?

/way to conflate the website problems with the ACA, "liberal media"


The exact opposite.

He had the one kind of pancreatic cancer that can be cured.

But for nine months, he shunned doctors and instead persued a vegan diet, acupuncture, herbal remedies, psychics, juice fasts, and bowel cleansings.

Many experts who have commented on his situation believe his foolishness cost him his life.

Actually, maybe that DOES make him the perfect health care mentor for the GOP.
 
2013-10-21 07:58:23 PM  

Ambivalence: Was it his pancreas?  I thought it was his liver.  Either way, if Apple had been involved, sure it would work but cost twice as much as competitors.  They should have gotten Amazon to do this farker.


One man's pancreas is another man's liver.  Everyone in my family, for several generations now, dies from or the other.
 
2013-10-21 08:00:01 PM  

The RIchest Man in Babylon: The underlying question is --can the free market do it better than the government? The answer is obvious.


As the website was designed by private contractors, you're absolutely right.
 
2013-10-21 08:00:28 PM  

optikeye: One thing that contributed to Job's demise was him being a hard head delaying therapy recommended by his doctors and instead opting for Diet, meditation, Eastern Herbal treatments, acupuncture and spiritualism and delaying traditional treatment until the cancer got a foothold in his body.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/apple/8841347/Steve-Jobs-regre tt ed-trying-to-beat-cancer-with-alternative-medicine-for-so-long.html


Because all other metastatic endocrine carcinomas are treated with such a high success rate of - what was it again?  About 1%.

Looks like Steve, for all his cash, couldn't make the 1% after all.

/rip steveo
 
2013-10-21 08:01:46 PM  

elchip: Lionel Mandrake: Was Steve Jobs a health care expert or something?

/way to conflate the website problems with the ACA, "liberal media"

The exact opposite.

He had the one kind of pancreatic cancer that can be cured.

But for nine months, he shunned doctors and instead persued a vegan diet, acupuncture, herbal remedies, psychics, juice fasts, and bowel cleansings.

Many experts who have commented on his situation believe his foolishness cost him his life.

Actually, maybe that DOES make him the perfect health care mentor for the GOP.


Don't forget, this is the party that put Michele Bachmann on the House Intelligence Committee.  He sounds like the perfect fit to administer a healthcare program, in their eyes.
 
2013-10-21 08:03:57 PM  
He voted for BHO and I think he still votes democrat in 17 other states, even from beyond the grave. (Or maybe it's that he can vote 17 times in 13 counties in Illinois....)
 
2013-10-21 08:08:51 PM  

hardinparamedic: Steve Jobs would make you wait 5 months while seeing if the herbal diet cured your cancer while refusing chemotherapy, and then use his fortune to knock himself up a few knotches on the transplant list after he lets his cancer get to the point where chemo is ineffective.


He actually scoured the country for that liver.  He applied to every organ donation venue he could find, kind of like Hollyfeld "winning" the Frito-Lay contest in "Real Genius".

So like all good things Jobs, he stole the idea.

/i myself never met a good idea i wouldn't 'borrow'
 
2013-10-21 08:10:29 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: optikeye: One thing that contributed to Job's demise was him being a hard head delaying therapy recommended by his doctors and instead opting for Diet, meditation, Eastern Herbal treatments, acupuncture and spiritualism and delaying traditional treatment until the cancer got a foothold in his body.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/apple/8841347/Steve-Jobs-regre tt ed-trying-to-beat-cancer-with-alternative-medicine-for-so-long.html

Because all other metastatic endocrine carcinomas are treated with such a high success rate of - what was it again?  About 1%.

Looks like Steve, for all his cash, couldn't make the 1% after all.

/rip steveo


He had an islet cell tumor, which has a 5-year survival rate of 42%. Among all pancreatic cancers, the 5-year survival rate is 6%.
 
2013-10-21 08:14:57 PM  

qorkfiend: Marcus Aurelius: How about single payer?  We could have that tomorrow if Congress wasn't bribed so easily.

Simplicity in itself: bribe Congress to pass single payer.


Brilliant!

You start.
 
2013-10-21 08:16:37 PM  
Gary Oldman is a very talented actor. That doesn't mean I want him to do my taxes or perform my surgery.
 
2013-10-21 08:17:06 PM  
he would've given us what we already have after fancying it up and charging more for it.
 
2013-10-21 08:19:04 PM  
I love good 'dead steve jobs' jokes.
 
2013-10-21 08:23:51 PM  

elchip: He had an islet cell tumor, which has a 5-year survival rate of 42%. Among all pancreatic cancers, the 5-year survival rate is 6%.


Survival rates vary wildly, but all adenocarcinomas are fatal   My grandmother went in about two weeks, but was likely undiagnosed until then (pancreas).  My grandfather lasted five years (liver).  My mother lasted almost three (pancreas + Whipple).  My father lasted less than four months (pancreas).  My aunt contracted breast cancer, and the autopsy revealed she'd have been dead of liver cancer within a year regardless.

No one gets out alive.

No exceptions.
 
2013-10-21 08:29:34 PM  

Somacandra: [i.imgur.com image 850x637]

R.I.P. iCare


It is the space inside that makes it useful.
 
2013-10-21 08:30:34 PM  

FnkyTwn: I love good 'dead steve jobs' jokes.


Have you heard any?
 
2013-10-21 08:35:45 PM  
He would scream at his employees and force them to work 48 hour shifts until it was done and then claim credit for their work?
 
2013-10-21 08:36:14 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: FnkyTwn: I love good 'dead steve jobs' jokes.

Have you heard any?


Q: What's the difference between cancer and a black man? (clearly racist)
A: Cancer gets Jobs

Q:Who makes jokes about Steve Jobs being dead?!
A: iDon't.

They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, he hadn't got a Flash player installed.

10 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs.Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.

Co-Creator of Apple getting killed by something with the initials 'PC', that's iRonic

.. there's a billion of them.
 
2013-10-21 08:40:53 PM  
The website would only have one button. And rounded corners.
 
2013-10-21 09:02:00 PM  

Ambivalence: Was it his pancreas?  I thought it was his liver.  Either way, if Apple had been involved, sure it would work but cost twice as much as competitors.  They should have gotten Amazon to do this farker.


It started as a benign and survivable form of pancreatic cancer with a laparoscopic surgical solution, but he tried for fruits and herbs before it spread and got nastier.

The Amazon marketplace might actually be a rough model to turn into healthcare.
 
2013-10-21 09:03:45 PM  
Apple apologizes for MobileMe launch, extends subscriptions
http://www.macworld.com/article/1134530/mobileme.html

Apple's iCloud launch woes evoke MobileMe's '08 debacle
 http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9220833/Apple_s_iCloud_launc h_w oes_evoke_MobileMe_s_08_debacle

Somehow, I don't think Jobs was the right guy to pick on this one.
 
2013-10-21 09:16:25 PM  
I'm telling you, until we find the bones and burn them, these kinds of articles will keep coming up.
 
2013-10-21 09:30:39 PM  
fark Jobs.  Give it to Valve to fix.  The damn thing will work and you'll be able to get seasonally discounted rates of 75% off some procedures.
 
2013-10-21 09:31:09 PM  
farm5.static.flickr.com

Asking the man who profited off workers given  SUICIDE NETS... how to make people's lives better?

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, no.
 
2013-10-21 09:35:41 PM  
If Jobs was still around and fixed Obamacare, paid shills and brainwashed iHaters would still claim that he didn't fix it, that somebody else already fixed it, or that somebody else fixed it for half price. Because these zealots have little connection to reality.

Please continue your delusional circle jerk.
 
2013-10-21 09:37:29 PM  
FnkyTwn: ___________________________

I said GOOD Steve Jobs jokes.
 
2013-10-21 09:39:02 PM  

Lawnchair: Having dealt with the evolution of iTunes (apparently it was largely Steve's baby, he kept scuttling plans to make it work more sanely), I think healthcare.gov could well have been worse.


I still have very little idea as to how to delete pictures from my phone.

Would the new health insurance portal always ask to sync to my device every time I logged on? And then ask if I would like to update QuickTime?
 
kab
2013-10-21 09:48:31 PM  
a) he'd spend years claiming it as something faster than its competitors, when it actually wasn't
b) market cleverly
c) provide the barest of incremental improvements in each new version
d) profit?

We'll now diagnose you at the genius bar.   Any aches or pains?
 
2013-10-21 09:51:07 PM  
I know exactly how he would fix it.....

He would create a website with a single button. Press the button and your computer takes your photo and you are instantly signed up for iSurance, which would be the same coverage plan at the same price for everyone, because Jobs knows better than you what is right for you, you flaming idiot.

/I am firmly of the opinion he thought everyone who was not him was too stupid to live and he only suffered the rest of us because we were just smart enough to do menial jobs that were below him, in order to make his life more comfortable.
 
2013-10-21 09:55:53 PM  

Prophet of Loss: Gary Oldman is a very talented actor. That doesn't mean I want him to do my taxes or perform my surgery.


If I were a movie director, I'd totally pick Gary Oldman to play Steve Jobs.
 
2013-10-21 10:00:13 PM  
He would make the website work, not that this fixes the problem.
Government is way too corrupt and easily manipulated to take direct control over 20% of the economy and have it end well. The fact that we are even here shows how much foresight they put into picking web designers and navigators.
I don't think they even started to deal with the issue of our aging boomers trying to get free anything off the backs of today's lackluster youth.

/The aftermath of a shutdown should have shown why this is a bad deal.
/but full speed ahead because some folks need to learn the hard way.
/Steve Jobs died because he believed in homeopathy.
 
2013-10-21 10:13:03 PM  

way south: ...Government is way too corrupt and easily manipulated to take direct control over 20% of the economy ...


In what way does the implementation of the ACA mean that the government has 'direct control' over anything? How is this talking point still a thing? Obamacare is not government-run health care in the same way that State Farm or Progressive giving you auto insurance is not government-run insurance just because they've placed rules on what constitutes minimum coverage and who should have it.

/I mean for fark's sake, it's been over three years...
 
2013-10-21 10:20:16 PM  

way south: Government is way too corrupt and easily manipulated to take direct control over 20% of the economy and have it end well.


The original plan was for the Feds to step back and let the states set up the exchanges themselves like Massachusetts.  SCOTUS said no, so all of the GOP governors refused to play along and the Feds had to set up a national exchange.  So if you have an issue with the government "taking control", blame John Roberts.
 
2013-10-21 10:26:35 PM  

Hector Remarkable: I'm telling you, until we find the bones and burn them, these kinds of articles will keep coming up.


You have to salt the bones first.
 
2013-10-21 10:30:32 PM  

bingethinker: If Jobs was still around and fixed Obamacare, paid shills and brainwashed iHaters would still claim that he didn't fix it, that somebody else already fixed it, or that somebody else fixed it for half price. Because these zealots have little connection to reality.

Please continue your delusional circle jerk.


You can stop sucking his dick. He is dead.
 
2013-10-21 10:30:42 PM  
He would sue all other countries that provide affordable healthcare.
 
2013-10-21 10:41:29 PM  

GameSprocket: Apple apologizes for MobileMe launch, extends subscriptions
http://www.macworld.com/article/1134530/mobileme.html

Apple's iCloud launch woes evoke MobileMe's '08 debacle
 http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9220833/Apple_s_iCloud_launc h_w oes_evoke_MobileMe_s_08_debacle

Somehow, I don't think Jobs was the right guy to pick on this one.


I hate when the media conflates tech giants. Apple was never good at the cloud, notorious, in fact.
 
2013-10-21 10:47:13 PM  

way south: Government is way too corrupt and easily manipulated by my free market overlords to take direct control over 20% of the economy and have it end well.


FTFY

The ACA simply pushed everybody into the health insurance 'pool' and then they gave you certain insurance 'rights' that nobody with insurance has had before.

We're already paying (at astronomical Emergency Room rates) for people without insurance ANYWAY. All the ACA does is give people actual primary care doctors for normal easy to catch and treat stuff, instead of forcing the uninsured to let things fester until it's some life threatening crazy-expensive ER visit. AND... It's a Republican Free Market Solution. It's the exact opposite of Socialism. The American Medical Association (and FoxNews doctors) hates Obamacare because the AMA is a union and they don't want the government regulating them.

Lemme guess, you're afraid some Doctor is gonna fix your racism?
 
2013-10-21 11:07:38 PM  
whitsblog.com
 
2013-10-21 11:14:57 PM  

optikeye: One thing that contributed to Job's demise was him being a hard head delaying therapy recommended by his doctors and instead opting for Diet, meditation, Eastern Herbal treatments, acupuncture and spiritualism and delaying traditional treatment until the cancer got a foothold in his body.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/apple/8841347/Steve-Jobs-regre tt ed-trying-to-beat-cancer-with-alternative-medicine-for-so-long.html


Or, in other words, putting him in charge of Obamacare would be equivalent to putting Jenny McCarthy in charge of it.
 
2013-10-21 11:19:47 PM  

Mentat: way south: Government is way too corrupt and easily manipulated to take direct control over 20% of the economy and have it end well.

The original plan was for the Feds to step back and let the states set up the exchanges themselves like Massachusetts.  SCOTUS said no, so all of the GOP governors refused to play along and the Feds had to set up a national exchange.  So if you have an issue with the government "taking control", blame John Roberts.


...and, since it was so late in the process, the websites and databases used had to be made on a tight schedule...thus the glitches.  So, you can thank John Roberts for all the "website failures", too...
 
2013-10-21 11:20:10 PM  

kab: a) he'd spend years claiming it as something faster than its competitors, when it actually wasn't
b) market cleverly
c) provide the barest of incremental improvements in each new version
d) profit?

We'll now diagnose you at the genius bar.   Any aches or pains?


I have to say this, the several times I've been to the Apple Genius Bar, they've managed to diagnose and correct the problem in the shortest possible time. Those guys know their stuff.
 
2013-10-21 11:28:13 PM  

Testiclaw: machodonkeywrestler: Fark keeps cutting off the end of my

Johnson! Johnson! Where is that guy? Hey, what is that over there, some kind of


www.eogogics.com
 
2013-10-21 11:32:35 PM  

Soon Right Away: In what way does the implementation of the ACA mean that the government has 'direct control' over anything? How is this talking point still a thing?


It's a zombie talking point that has been lazily borrowed from the 1993 Clinton health plan critics.  It doesn't have to make sense; they just recycled it for the rubes.
 
2013-10-21 11:46:38 PM  
What does a website have to do with Apple in the slightest?

Although I guess if Jobs were to handle Obamacare, it would be flashy, give you no options, cost 3x as much as it should, and be completely locked down.

I guess it would be more 'popular' though, even though people wouldn't know WHY they supported it, they would just be easily influenced by flashy ads, very little thinking on their part, and some gimmicky branding.
 
2013-10-21 11:49:25 PM  
Ladies and gentlemen, the 24-hour news cycle strikes again! Right, wrong or completely useless, the content of the story doesn't matter, there just needs to actually BE an article, nothing more.
 
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