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(Perth Now)   French woman in Australia is stopped for a DUI travelling 60km/h with A.) a man on her hood smoking a cigarette B.) wearing a dinosaur onesie C.) and a snorkel. D.) All of the above   (perthnow.com.au) divider line 49
    More: Amusing, Australia, breathers  
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6959 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2013 at 3:34 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-21 03:36:58 PM
D, definitely D.
 
2013-10-21 03:37:14 PM
Niiiiiice

bringatrailer.com

Article is full of so much win!
 
2013-10-21 03:37:48 PM
It's Australia.  Aren't they supposed to do that?
 
2013-10-21 03:37:57 PM
I want to party with this lady.
 
2013-10-21 03:39:22 PM
Well, the BO emitted by the French explains why the man was riding on the hood with a snorkel - but the dinosaur costume seems to be some sort of fashion statement/private joke.
 
2013-10-21 03:39:34 PM
Submitter, I read your headline and immediately divorced my wife and told her that I was heading to Australia, as it turned out my soul mate had recently made the news. Imagine my chagrin when I double-checked the article, and it was the dude who was wearing the dinosaur onesie and the snorkel.

Let this be a lesson, Farkers. Not RTFA and disingenuous submitters ruin lives.
 
2013-10-21 03:39:54 PM
Well I want to hear the story leading up to that and every detail.
 
2013-10-21 03:40:26 PM

karmaceutical: I want to party with this lady.


Came here to say this!!!
 
2013-10-21 03:41:42 PM
Psh, amateurs.
 
2013-10-21 03:45:42 PM

blatz514: Niiiiiice

[bringatrailer.com image 480x340]

Article is full of so much win!


Dear Penthouse Letters,
You'll never believe this, but during my gap year I went to Perth, AUS and bought a cherry Ford wagon to camp in, go surfing, travel the outback and stuff.  Anyway, I met this girl and she was really nice.  From France in fact.  We shared a bottle of chardonnay, and then she said: "put this on".  It was a dinosaur onesie.  Then she said I had to have underwater goggles with a snorkle before we started.  It was a bit weird, but I went along.  I thought we were in for a bit of kinky fun when she said: "get on the bonnet", but she got in the seat and took off!
 
2013-10-21 03:47:25 PM
No pics of the woman in question?
 
2013-10-21 03:48:00 PM
Ok, so why did they pull her over?
 
2013-10-21 03:52:32 PM

karmaceutical: I want to party with this lady.


Unfortunately, I think I have.

/it never stops itching
 
2013-10-21 03:53:15 PM
Was the lady Zoe Bell?
 
2013-10-21 03:53:21 PM
Be honest - if you were driving and a man in onsie PJ's & a snorkel jumped on your hood, you might be a little reluctant to stop in case he jumps INSIDE the car with you.
 
2013-10-21 03:54:49 PM
I thought in Australia the correct term was unitard.

/no, they generally just call them French People.
 
2013-10-21 03:56:16 PM

Rembrant_Q_Einstein: karmaceutical: I want to party with this lady.

Came here to say this!!!


So...so do we start a sign-up sheet?
 
2013-10-21 03:58:52 PM
Wait, who was wearing the onesie?  It matters...
 
2013-10-21 03:59:30 PM
Courtship rituals of French-Australians are very complex.
 
2013-10-21 04:00:06 PM

groppet: Well I want to hear the story leading up to that and every detail.


Well, let's see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it...
 
2013-10-21 04:01:51 PM

Cagey B: Submitter, I read your headline and immediately divorced my wife and told her that I was heading to Australia, as it turned out my soul mate had recently made the news. Imagine my chagrin when I double-checked the article, and it was the dude who was wearing the dinosaur onesie and the snorkel.

Let this be a lesson, Farkers. Not RTFA and disingenuous submitters ruin lives.


So... your soulmate is a dude...

You should embrace your true self.
 
2013-10-21 04:01:59 PM
I think the man wanted to lay more than her bonnet.
 
2013-10-21 04:02:19 PM

ByOwlLight: Courtship rituals of French-Australians are very complex.


Ha!
 
2013-10-21 04:12:09 PM
Was the man a big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock of Seagulls haircut, and only one nostril?

/that snorkel was just like a snorkel to me!
 
2013-10-21 04:16:54 PM
you know who else rode the bonnet in australia?
 
2013-10-21 04:21:30 PM
media.moddb.com
 
2013-10-21 04:31:46 PM
The snorkel contained potassium benzoate.
 
2013-10-21 04:47:14 PM
Sounds like postmodernist performance art.
 
2013-10-21 04:54:43 PM
Dammit. Subby should have mentioned there'd be spoilers for Priscilla Queen of the Desert II: Electric Bugaloo.

Sounds like good clean surreal fun. And they were probably only risking their own French surrealist lives, so why be a party pooper, trooper*?

*I don't know that Australia has troopers, but it definitely has States, not Provinces, so I'm taking a stab in the dark.
 
2013-10-21 05:09:50 PM

vudukungfu: Was the lady Zoe Bell?


damn
 
2013-10-21 05:13:40 PM
Seized under hoon legislation?

Let me give her a sad umble.
 
2013-10-21 05:13:56 PM

Cagey B: Submitter, I read your headline and immediately divorced my wife and told her that I was heading to Australia, as it turned out my soul mate had recently made the news. Imagine my chagrin when I double-checked the article, and it was the dude who was wearing the dinosaur onesie and the snorkel.

Let this be a lesson, Farkers. Not RTFA and disingenuous submitters ruin lives.


Subby here.  First link submission so take it easy on me, While looking at that article, there was a teaser for the same newspaper to another article about a woman who popped a 25 year old black head.  Note, 25 year old black head, not 25 year old woman.  I think it's scrolled off now, but whatever you do, DO NOT search for 25 year old blackhead on Youtube.  Just DONT.  You've been warned.

--Let's Make a Difference!
 
2013-10-21 05:58:48 PM

FrancoFile: Seized under hoon legislation?

Let me give her a sad umble.


I don't know what hoon legislation is, or a onesie.   Am I not keeping up?
 
2013-10-21 06:04:02 PM

Inflatable Rhetoric: FrancoFile: Seized under hoon legislation?

Let me give her a sad umble.

I don't know what hoon legislation is, or a onesie.   Am I not keeping up?


I looked them up.  Now I know.

You never outgrow your need for useless facts.
 
2013-10-21 06:12:24 PM
i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-21 06:32:13 PM
How does one smoke a cigarette whilst wearing a snorkel?

Am I doing it wrong?
 
2013-10-21 06:32:40 PM
1)  These sound like fun people.

2)  wtf is "hoon" legislation?

"The vehicle was seized under hoon legislation."

Inquiring minds want to know.

And so do I...
 
2013-10-21 07:22:33 PM

PunGent: 1)  These sound like fun people.

2)  wtf is "hoon" legislation?

"The vehicle was seized under hoon legislation."

Inquiring minds want to know.

And so do I...


"Hoon" is Australian slang for a road-racer.  The asshole cycle gang who beat the guy up in New York a few weeks ago would be called hoons in the Australian media.

As opposed to "bogan", which is just a general trashy redneck type.

/Hoon is also a species in David Brin's uplift novels.
 
2013-10-21 07:39:14 PM
FrancoFile:

/Hoon is also a species in David Brin's uplift novels.

So what's an umble?
 
2013-10-21 07:50:47 PM

Cyclonic Cooking Action: FrancoFile:

/Hoon is also a species in David Brin's uplift novels.

So what's an umble?


A type of humming vocalization that Hoons do.  They have complicated necks, vocal tracts, and expandable throat pouches, so they can make some interesting sounds.
 
2013-10-21 08:22:42 PM
60 km/h isn't that fast, right? What is that in 'Murican? Like 3 mph?
 
2013-10-21 09:37:06 PM

PunGent: 1)  These sound like fun people.

2)  wtf is "hoon" legislation?

"The vehicle was seized under hoon legislation."

Inquiring minds want to know.

And so do I...


I wish we had hoon legislation.  Roads might be a little safer; less full of douche ricer boys and dumbasses on crotch rockets.
 
2013-10-21 10:11:57 PM

FrancoFile: PunGent: 1)  These sound like fun people.

2)  wtf is "hoon" legislation?

"The vehicle was seized under hoon legislation."

Inquiring minds want to know.

And so do I...

"Hoon" is Australian slang for a road-racer.  The asshole cycle gang who beat the guy up in New York a few weeks ago would be called hoons in the Australian media.

As opposed to "bogan", which is just a general trashy redneck type.

/Hoon is also a species in David Brin's uplift novels.


Ah, thanks...I only knew the Brin definition, and figured they hadn't gotten around to banning ET's yet :)
 
2013-10-21 10:33:11 PM
Sooooo.... she had Hunter S. Thompson on the hood of her car?  They sound fun.
 
2013-10-21 11:53:53 PM
The French have matured to a completely different level of drunk.... one that, frankly, I'm kinda envious of.
 
2013-10-22 04:39:38 AM

CivicMindedFive: Cagey B: Submitter, I read your headline and immediately divorced my wife and told her that I was heading to Australia, as it turned out my soul mate had recently made the news. Imagine my chagrin when I double-checked the article, and it was the dude who was wearing the dinosaur onesie and the snorkel.

Let this be a lesson, Farkers. Not RTFA and disingenuous submitters ruin lives.

Subby here.  First link submission so take it easy on me, While looking at that article, there was a teaser for the same newspaper to another article about a woman who popped a 25 year old black head.  Note, 25 year old black head, not 25 year old woman.  I think it's scrolled off now, but whatever you do, DO NOT search for 25 year old blackhead on Youtube.  Just DONT.  You've been warned.

--Let's Make a Difference!


I watched that. It was worth it for the money shot at the end.
 
2013-10-22 04:49:36 AM
They were probably just drunk on goon, and fleeing the drop bears.

/I'm French and I spent last year travelling around Australia in a station wagon, so i'm really getting a kick out of most of these replies.
 
2013-10-22 01:40:08 PM

groppet: Well I want to hear the story leading up to that and every detail.


Me too.  How can you report a story like that and not give the details?  If I was the reporter I would just have to find out every last detail.

I bet it would make one hell of an ice breaker story too, "and then they pulled me over with Bob still hanging on the hood in his dinosaur onesie and snorkel, smoking his cigarette..."
 
2013-10-22 08:15:45 PM

Rabid Turnip: groppet: Well I want to hear the story leading up to that and every detail.

Me too.  How can you report a story like that and not give the details?  If I was the reporter I would just have to find out every last detail.

I bet it would make one hell of an ice breaker story too, "and then they pulled me over with Bob still hanging on the hood in his dinosaur onesie and snorkel, smoking his cigarette..."


I bet he has a tattoo on his dick that says Welcome Aboard.
 
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