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(io9)   Yea, I don't think the Circle of Life involves poisoning elephant watering holes with cyanide   (io9.com) divider line 42
    More: Sick, Central Africa  
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2971 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2013 at 2:45 PM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-21 02:48:05 PM
Everybody look left
Everybody look right
Everybody look up....
as I poison the waterhole
 
2013-10-21 02:48:45 PM
I can't decide whether we need to declare open season on the poachers, or on the susperstitious users who fuel the trade.

/where there's well-paying demand, there will always ve suppliers. Solution: end the demand.
 
2013-10-21 02:49:20 PM
*be

Obviously.
 
2013-10-21 02:49:36 PM
www.paperhi.com
 
2013-10-21 02:51:30 PM
Execution is the only way to stop this.   Old school, like cattle rustlers in the old west.  Does it violate human rights, probably.  And yet not one person will stand up and week for these f*****rs as they're shot in the head.
 
2013-10-21 02:52:29 PM

brimed03: I can't decide whether we need to declare open season on the poachers, or on the susperstitious users who fuel the trade.

/where there's well-paying demand, there will always ve suppliers. Solution: end the demand.


Maybe someone should put fake rhino and elephant stuff out there laced with cyanide. That would be eye for an eye right?
 
2013-10-21 02:52:42 PM

keytronic: Execution is the only way to stop this.   Old school, like cattle rustlers in the old west.  Does it violate human rights, probably.  And yet not one person will stand up and week for these f*****rs as they're shot in the head.


I say just offer them a tall glass of the same water they killed the elephants with.
 
2013-10-21 02:54:16 PM
Before we kill off all the poachers, let them loose on the RINOs in DC.
 
2013-10-21 02:55:14 PM

brimed03: I can't decide whether we need to declare open season on the poachers, or on the susperstitious users who fuel the trade.

/where there's well-paying demand, there will always ve suppliers. Solution: end the demand.



img.pandawhale.com
 
2013-10-21 02:56:06 PM
The bastards should be force fed their own poison.   In this day and age we have no need for any part of an elephant so i cannot justify killing them for any reason.
 
2013-10-21 02:56:45 PM
We now go live to Doma Castle to see if we could get some word on the street.
 
2013-10-21 02:57:13 PM
I don't even have words to describe my outrage.

/three hundred elephants
//I know their population is doing better but my god
 
2013-10-21 03:00:41 PM
Searching "Lion King Meme" unearther this:

i.qkme.me

I chuckled.
 
2013-10-21 03:02:44 PM
What the fark? We don't have all that many elephants goddamn it! Stop farking up the cool shiat we've got left!
 
2013-10-21 03:03:28 PM
I hate humanity. How can you have such a complete lack of foresight to endanger / kill the only thing that seems to be giving you $$? I agree with those above who suggest having the poachers drink the water.
 
2013-10-21 03:12:09 PM
Well that's the last time I use Ivory Soap.
 
2013-10-21 03:13:41 PM

aseras: keytronic: Execution is the only way to stop this.   Old school, like cattle rustlers in the old west.  Does it violate human rights, probably.  And yet not one person will stand up and week for these f*****rs as they're shot in the head.

I say just offer them a tall glass of the same water they killed the elephants with.


No. I want to use my hands. I want to feel the terror and watch their eyes glaze over as they stare into my face.

/not even sure if kidding
 
2013-10-21 03:14:28 PM

youngandstupid: I hate humanity. How can you have such a complete lack of foresight to endanger / kill the only thing that seems to be giving you $$? I agree with those above who suggest having the poachers drink the water.


Wanna know why?

This is why.
 
2013-10-21 03:20:32 PM

youngandstupid: I hate humanity. How can you have such a complete lack of foresight to endanger / kill the only thing that seems to be giving you $$? I agree with those above who suggest having the poachers drink the water.



In fairness, 1/100th of 1% of what we spend on Defense would likely be more than enough money to dissuade the locals from pursuing poaching as a way of generating income.   We wouldn't so much call it a bribe as we would say we were hiring them to monitor and protect the parks from poachers.

If those of us in the rich West care so much about preserving biodiversity, we should be willing to pay a little for it.
 
2013-10-21 03:21:55 PM
They were talking about poisoning rhino horns in the wild. I think that's a great idea. People start dropping dead from rhino horn, then you'll see demand dry up.
 
2013-10-21 03:27:52 PM
what if poisoning the water holes yielded some small quantity of natural gas?  would you mind then? what if it's people and not elephants?  amurican peoples??


/ america is getting fracked
// oh, you'll alllllll buy dansani soon! enough!
 
2013-10-21 03:32:02 PM

keytronic: youngandstupid: I hate humanity. How can you have such a complete lack of foresight to endanger / kill the only thing that seems to be giving you $$? I agree with those above who suggest having the poachers drink the water.


In fairness, 1/100th of 1% of what we spend on Defense would likely be more than enough money to dissuade the locals from pursuing poaching as a way of generating income.   We wouldn't so much call it a bribe as we would say we were hiring them to monitor and protect the parks from poachers.

If those of us in the rich West care so much about preserving biodiversity, we should be willing to pay a little for it.


That puts them in a perpetual state of being a hostage taker. Pay up or the elephant gets it! But as long as that $$ comes directly out of what we'd be putting into defense, I'm not sure I've got a better idea.
 
2013-10-21 03:32:18 PM

brimed03:  Solution: end the demand.


Because that's working so well in the War On Drugs™.

/make those poachers drink that water
 
2013-10-21 03:41:09 PM
black people problems
 
2013-10-21 03:51:33 PM

brimed03: I can't decide whether we need to declare open season on the poachers, or on the susperstitious users who fuel the trade.

/where there's well-paying demand, there will always ve suppliers. Solution: end the demand.


Some say that the better solution is to create demand for the animals in their natural habitat -- e.g. through environmental tourism, or limited hunting -- and to let the local people profit from the continued existence of those animal reserves and create their own enforcement mechanisms.  I haven't really studied the issue but this seems to make sense.
 
2013-10-21 03:54:01 PM
Jim from Saint Paul:
Searching "Lion King Meme" unearther this:

[i.qkme.me image 625x358]

I chuckled.


My GIS for "lion o face" returned this:

http://www.cheezey.org/thundercats/gallery/lionoserious.JPG

...I don't know what I expected :P
 
2013-10-21 03:56:46 PM
Arkanaut:
Some say that the better solution is to create demand for the animals in their natural habitat -- e.g. through environmental tourism, or limited hunting -- and to let the local people profit from the continued existence of those animal reserves and create their own enforcement mechanisms. I haven't really studied the issue but this seems to make sense.

The problem is that you likely still make a fark ton more money from a single tusk than from guiding tourists around all week.  Plus... if you poach elephants for a living, you are probably an asshole and tourists don't want your murderous self anywhere near them.
 
2013-10-21 04:13:11 PM

brimed03: I can't decide whether we need to declare open season on the poachers, or on the susperstitious users who fuel the trade.

/where there's well-paying demand, there will always ve suppliers. Solution: end the demand.


both, poachers and the buyers need to be put to death and all their money taken away too
 
2013-10-21 04:13:45 PM

No Such Agency: The problem is that you likely still make a fark ton more money from a single tusk than from guiding tourists around all week.


That's assuming that the poacher comes from the same community as the people who would profit from doing tours.
 
2013-10-21 04:16:47 PM
ahahaha we are going to kill this planet before we know how to stop ourselves, and then we will all wither and die and we will wholly deserve it!

We are so dumb. Good thing there are no planets nearby to escape to.
 
2013-10-21 04:17:54 PM

brimed03: I can't decide whether we need to declare open season on the poachers, or on the susperstitious users who fuel the trade.

/where there's well-paying demand, there will always ve suppliers. Solution: end the demand.


Both.  That would work for me.
 
2013-10-21 04:32:59 PM

loudboy: we are going to kill this planet


HAHAHAHA no.

We can make in uninhabitable for a while for anything but the hardiest species of insects, bacteria, etc. The geological record is proof it's survived far worse than us.

On a topic-related note, I wonder how much of that ivory wound up in the US.
 
2013-10-21 04:44:04 PM

youngandstupid: keytronic: youngandstupid: I hate humanity. How can you have such a complete lack of foresight to endanger / kill the only thing that seems to be giving you $$? I agree with those above who suggest having the poachers drink the water.


In fairness, 1/100th of 1% of what we spend on Defense would likely be more than enough money to dissuade the locals from pursuing poaching as a way of generating income.   We wouldn't so much call it a bribe as we would say we were hiring them to monitor and protect the parks from poachers.

If those of us in the rich West care so much about preserving biodiversity, we should be willing to pay a little for it.

That puts them in a perpetual state of being a hostage taker. Pay up or the elephant gets it! But as long as that $$ comes directly out of what we'd be putting into defense, I'm not sure I've got a better idea.


Easy. We incinerate poison the water supply of a villiage full of these cavemen and tell the rest that their villiage is next if they do it again.
 
2013-10-21 05:16:03 PM

umad: Easy. We incinerate poison the water supply of a villiage full of these cavemen and tell the rest that their villiage is next if they do it again.


Ah yes, kill a village of innocents that likely have nothing to do with this. That'll teach'em. How very authoritarian of you.
 
2013-10-21 05:24:41 PM
This is what boiling pitch is for

throw them in
 
2013-10-21 06:17:36 PM

impaler: Ah yes, kill a village of innocents that likely have nothing to do with this.


And nothing of value would be lost.
 
2013-10-21 06:21:36 PM
About 15 years ago, I worked for a company with 4 co-owners.  It was a ruthless company that valued profit over little else.  Each owner was a great salesperson but exceled at another task.  One was a great marketer and the principle owner, another a great operations guy, another was a great networker.  The last was a great speaker and a great teacher.

This last owner, DS,  trained every employee and ran every meeting.  To this day, he remains the all time greatest sales person I've ever known.     This man was quite fond of hunting and decided to arrange a 3 month trip to Africa to hunt animals and camp.  The other owners shrugged and knew that he liked hunting duck and deer so thought nothing of it.

When he returned, he was bragging about his kills.  Lions, Zebra, Gazelle, etc.  No one really cared.   Most hunted so it wasnt an issue.  Then he got to the pictures and stories of his killing of a 'problem' elephant.  How it had been arranged before the trip and how it cost him an obscene amount to set it up.

   The principle owner was bothered. They hold funerals for family members.  They cry on emotions.  They aren't only cool but they truly experience feelings like love and pride.     If you'll kill an elephant and bribe people to arrange it, you'll do shady things in business.  It was like a window into his true character and the owners didn't like it.

They started digging.  Discovered other signs of illegal kickbacks, accepting of bribes, secret business dealings, etc.  He was quickly voted out and the company moved on.

When some underling finally manned up and asked one of the three remaining owners why DS was gone, he replied 'He killed an elephant'.  To which the brave underling responded, "What kinda asshole kills an elephant?"

"Exactly"


/cool story bro
 
2013-10-21 07:44:17 PM

aseras: keytronic: Execution is the only way to stop this.   Old school, like cattle rustlers in the old west.  Does it violate human rights, probably.  And yet not one person will stand up and week for these f*****rs as they're shot in the head.

I say just offer them a tall glass of the same water they killed the elephants with.


That.

Sarsin:
Maybe someone should put fake rhino and elephant stuff out there laced with cyanide. That would be eye for an eye right?

And this.
 
2013-10-21 07:49:29 PM

brimed03: I can't decide whether we need to declare open season on the poachers, or on the susperstitious users who fuel the trade.

/where there's well-paying demand, there will always ve suppliers. Solution: end the demand.


The problem is that the demand is coming from the rising middle class in China, and the Chinese have always had a thing for ivory, though most were unable to afford it.

Apparently, most Chinese believe that the tusks are harvested and grow back.  The government has no interest in doing anything about it as they don't see it as their problem.  But an education campaign would go a long way to ending demand.
 
2013-10-21 08:52:01 PM
imageshack.us
 
2013-10-21 09:12:16 PM

Ringshadow: I don't even have words to describe my outrage.

/three hundred elephants
//I know their population is doing better but my god


It's especially frustrating when you remember elephants have a gestation period of almost two years.
 
2013-10-21 10:20:08 PM
I hope they find these poachers... but only first after running them down in a long hot foot chase.... I want them thirsty... very very thirsty... and the only water available to them should be laced with cyanide...
 
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