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(WTOP)   Study says spanking your child could lead to future aggression, but only if you are doing it wrong   (wtop.com) divider line 149
    More: Stupid, cognitive development, aggression  
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2743 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2013 at 1:29 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-21 02:51:15 PM

The_Sponge: mafiageek1980: 1). Is there a safeword involved? Otherwise, unless you pre-discussed it with your bottom/submissive/other, it's wrong.
2). Again, Spanking=hitting. There's no other way around it. YOU doing it with your lover (provided it was consensual/have a safeword/have their permission) is one thing. Hitting a child that has no say-so in the matter IS abuse and is hitting.


1) No, but I start out so light it doesn't really matter.....it's more like a tap.

2) I've never had the need for a safe word just because I'm not into the really kinky stuff.


Yes, it does because you are hitting (light or not) the person. By NOT asking them BEFORE you do it, that deems it non-consensual in the adult case, which means, your lover could have technically filed assault charges against you if they really wanted to. You don't have to be into that kinky stuff to have respect for a person and ASK if they ENJOY being hit before you do it.
 
2013-10-21 02:53:17 PM

mafiageek1980: Yes, it does because you are hitting (light or not) the person. By NOT asking them BEFORE you do it, that deems it non-consensual in the adult case, which means, your lover could have technically filed assault charges against you if they really wanted to. You don't have to be into that kinky stuff to have respect for a person and ASK if they ENJOY being hit before you do it.



Yeesh....we're talking about a light tap.....which is definitely not hitting.
 
2013-10-21 02:53:56 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-21 02:53:59 PM

udhq: All spanking did to me was give me a seething hatred against idiots who need to use violence and fear to control their children, and a resolve to make sure that decision hurts my parents more than it ever did me.

Every couple of years when they try to reestablish contact with me and my family, I send them the same form letter that as a consequence of their actions, they will go to their graves without ever having met their grandchildren.


I admire and respect that level of spite. I have a parent I'm trolling the obits for myself.
 
2013-10-21 02:54:36 PM
Ya know, if I were given a choice between physical pain and emotional pain, I'd take physical pain every time.  This always makes me wonder about these completely anti-spanking folks -- do they discipline their children with harsh, mentally-scarring corrections?

I think maybe they are  ... because I've noticed that many of the anti-spanking people are the quickest to insult and verbally disparage those that disagree with them.  I guess it makes sense since they were probably taught at an early age that the best way to deal with dissenting opinions is to verbally lash out at someone.  I guess this is more civilized or something.
 
2013-10-21 02:55:28 PM

The_Sponge: mafiageek1980: Yes, it does because you are hitting (light or not) the person. By NOT asking them BEFORE you do it, that deems it non-consensual in the adult case, which means, your lover could have technically filed assault charges against you if they really wanted to. You don't have to be into that kinky stuff to have respect for a person and ASK if they ENJOY being hit before you do it.


Yeesh....we're talking about a light tap.....which is definitely not hitting.


it's still a "tap" without the person's permission. Even a mere "light tap" can be considered assault.
 
2013-10-21 02:56:38 PM

mafiageek1980: The_Sponge: mafiageek1980: Yes, it does because you are hitting (light or not) the person. By NOT asking them BEFORE you do it, that deems it non-consensual in the adult case, which means, your lover could have technically filed assault charges against you if they really wanted to. You don't have to be into that kinky stuff to have respect for a person and ASK if they ENJOY being hit before you do it.


Yeesh....we're talking about a light tap.....which is definitely not hitting.

it's still a "tap" without the person's permission. Even a mere "light tap" can be considered assault.



Well then call me Mr. Lucky because nobody has ever complained or filed charges.
 
2013-10-21 02:58:09 PM
*has a kid

I think every comment on such topics should be started by stating whether or not the commenter has a kid..
 
2013-10-21 02:59:09 PM
The_Sponge: Well then call me Mr. Lucky because nobody has ever complained or filed charges.

That's funny because that's what I call my pianist.
 
2013-10-21 02:59:33 PM

AllUpInYa: *has a kid

I think every comment on such topics should be started by stating whether or not the commenter has a kid..


So if I start out by saying "NO KID", that means I win, right?
 
2013-10-21 03:01:26 PM

mafiageek1980: The_Sponge: PsiChick: Better question: Why do you  want to hit your kids?

Spanking is not hitting.

I HOPE you are joking with that statement.

Spanking=hitting your kid as a form of discipline.



When I do it, it is spanking......if someone else does it, it is hitting and they better be ready for a fight.
 
2013-10-21 03:03:25 PM

The_Sponge: udhq: I didn't have a shiatty childhood, I just grew up with parents who had shiatty childhoods and never learned that using violence to get what you want is NEVER acceptable.

I taught myself that lesson and was able to live pretty much happily independent from about age 12.


It was shiatty enough where it just caused to you make a silly statement:


Every couple of years when they try to reestablish contact with me and my family, I send them the same form letter that as a consequence of their actions, they will go to their graves without ever having met their grandchildren.

I urge all children of spankers to do the same.


Really?  All people who were spanked as kids should disown their parents?

/Have a great relationship with my parents.


Congratulations, you must be much easier to be controlled through violence and fear than I am.
 
2013-10-21 03:05:31 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: AllUpInYa: *has a kid

I think every comment on such topics should be started by stating whether or not the commenter has a kid..

So if I start out by saying "NO KID", that means I win, right?



No, just that I probably will save time by skipping over your comment.
 
2013-10-21 03:05:50 PM

Phil Moskowitz: udhq: All spanking did to me was give me a seething hatred against idiots who need to use violence and fear to control their children, and a resolve to make sure that decision hurts my parents more than it ever did me.

Every couple of years when they try to reestablish contact with me and my family, I send them the same form letter that as a consequence of their actions, they will go to their graves without ever having met their grandchildren.

I admire and respect that level of spite. I have a parent I'm trolling the obits for myself.


It's absolutely not spite, not really even anger. They're pretty much non people to me at this point.

Well, that and I'm EXTREMELY protective of my kids. I almost feel sorry for the boys who are going to try and take my daughters out on dates later on...
 
2013-10-21 03:11:08 PM

udhq: Phil Moskowitz: udhq: All spanking did to me was give me a seething hatred against idiots who need to use violence and fear to control their children, and a resolve to make sure that decision hurts my parents more than it ever did me.

Every couple of years when they try to reestablish contact with me and my family, I send them the same form letter that as a consequence of their actions, they will go to their graves without ever having met their grandchildren.

I admire and respect that level of spite. I have a parent I'm trolling the obits for myself.

It's absolutely not spite, not really even anger. They're pretty much non people to me at this point.

Well, that and I'm EXTREMELY protective of my kids. I almost feel sorry for the boys who are going to try and take my daughters out on dates later on...


Are you planning on controlling those boys through violence and fear?
 
2013-10-21 03:13:17 PM

udhq: It's absolutely not spite, not really even anger. They're pretty much non people to me at this point.


Do you not know what spite means?  What you did is the definition of spite.  I mean textbook definition.
 
2013-10-21 03:16:38 PM

Wellon Dowd: What about spanking somebody else's child. My neighbor's daughter certainly needs it, prancing around in that cheerleader uniform.


Go on...
 
2013-10-21 03:17:13 PM
For my children, spanking filled in the relatively short period of time between the age of mobility and self-determinance, and the age at which point you could begin actually reasoning with the little snotrags.

It was formulaic and absolutely predictable; a loud NO! from mommy and/or daddy.  Further disregard elicited another NO!, and a countdown from 5.  When the countdown elapsed, it was time for a few calculated smacks upon ye olde buttockes, with hand drawn no further back than six to twelve inches, and always flat of the hand.

It also worked AMAZINGLY well.
 
2013-10-21 03:21:16 PM

mafiageek1980: The_Sponge: mafiageek1980: 1). Is there a safeword involved? Otherwise, unless you pre-discussed it with your bottom/submissive/other, it's wrong.
2). Again, Spanking=hitting. There's no other way around it. YOU doing it with your lover (provided it was consensual/have a safeword/have their permission) is one thing. Hitting a child that has no say-so in the matter IS abuse and is hitting.


1) No, but I start out so light it doesn't really matter.....it's more like a tap.

2) I've never had the need for a safe word just because I'm not into the really kinky stuff.

Yes, it does because you are hitting (light or not) the person. By NOT asking them BEFORE you do it, that deems it non-consensual in the adult case, which means, your lover could have technically filed assault charges against you if they really wanted to. You don't have to be into that kinky stuff to have respect for a person and ASK if they ENJOY being hit before you do it.


Why doesn't this apply equally to EVERY aspect of sexytime?

"I'm going to gently stroke your inner thigh.  Is this acceptable?  If you'd like me to stop, say 'Thursday.'"
 
2013-10-21 03:23:06 PM

udhq: The_Sponge: udhq: I didn't have a shiatty childhood, I just grew up with parents who had shiatty childhoods and never learned that using violence to get what you want is NEVER acceptable.

I taught myself that lesson and was able to live pretty much happily independent from about age 12.


It was shiatty enough where it just caused to you make a silly statement:


Every couple of years when they try to reestablish contact with me and my family, I send them the same form letter that as a consequence of their actions, they will go to their graves without ever having met their grandchildren.

I urge all children of spankers to do the same.


Really?  All people who were spanked as kids should disown their parents?

/Have a great relationship with my parents.

Congratulations, you must be much easier to be controlled through violence and fear than I am.



Congratulations, I love it how you can't admit that you made a silly blanket statement.  (Which is shown above in bold font for your convenience.)
 
2013-10-21 03:26:45 PM

J. Frank Parnell: You mean using violence and aggression to get children to obey might teach them to use violence and aggression to get others to obey them?


SAY THAT TO MY FACE, MOTHER FARKER! *PUNCH*
 
2013-10-21 03:28:07 PM

Jocktopus: mafiageek1980: The_Sponge: mafiageek1980: 1). Is there a safeword involved? Otherwise, unless you pre-discussed it with your bottom/submissive/other, it's wrong.
2). Again, Spanking=hitting. There's no other way around it. YOU doing it with your lover (provided it was consensual/have a safeword/have their permission) is one thing. Hitting a child that has no say-so in the matter IS abuse and is hitting.


1) No, but I start out so light it doesn't really matter.....it's more like a tap.

2) I've never had the need for a safe word just because I'm not into the really kinky stuff.

Yes, it does because you are hitting (light or not) the person. By NOT asking them BEFORE you do it, that deems it non-consensual in the adult case, which means, your lover could have technically filed assault charges against you if they really wanted to. You don't have to be into that kinky stuff to have respect for a person and ASK if they ENJOY being hit before you do it.

Why doesn't this apply equally to EVERY aspect of sexytime?

"I'm going to gently stroke your inner thigh.  Is this acceptable?  If you'd like me to stop, say 'Thursday.'"


Hahahaha!

Exactly.

/Don't get me wrong.
//There are certain things you had better ask about in advance.
 
2013-10-21 03:31:18 PM

Jocktopus: For my children, spanking filled in the relatively short period of time between the age of mobility and self-determinance, and the age at which point you could begin actually reasoning with the little snotrags.

It was formulaic and absolutely predictable; a loud NO! from mommy and/or daddy.  Further disregard elicited another NO!, and a countdown from 5.  When the countdown elapsed, it was time for a few calculated smacks upon ye olde buttockes, with hand drawn no further back than six to twelve inches, and always flat of the hand.

It also worked AMAZINGLY well.


My daughter is too young for that whole thing just yet, but I have several friends that operate pretty much as above and it seems to work.  I have never once seen any of the kids make it to five and have to get spanked.
 
2013-10-21 03:33:15 PM

Beeblebrox: udhq: Phil Moskowitz: udhq: All spanking did to me was give me a seething hatred against idiots who need to use violence and fear to control their children, and a resolve to make sure that decision hurts my parents more than it ever did me.

Every couple of years when they try to reestablish contact with me and my family, I send them the same form letter that as a consequence of their actions, they will go to their graves without ever having met their grandchildren.

I admire and respect that level of spite. I have a parent I'm trolling the obits for myself.

It's absolutely not spite, not really even anger. They're pretty much non people to me at this point.

Well, that and I'm EXTREMELY protective of my kids. I almost feel sorry for the boys who are going to try and take my daughters out on dates later on...

Are you planning on controlling those boys through violence and fear?


I'm a nonviolent man. But fear, you bet your ass I'm going to make everyone I can afraid to hurt one of my girls.
 
2013-10-21 03:38:08 PM

udhq: Beeblebrox: udhq: Phil Moskowitz: udhq: All spanking did to me was give me a seething hatred against idiots who need to use violence and fear to control their children, and a resolve to make sure that decision hurts my parents more than it ever did me.

Every couple of years when they try to reestablish contact with me and my family, I send them the same form letter that as a consequence of their actions, they will go to their graves without ever having met their grandchildren.

I admire and respect that level of spite. I have a parent I'm trolling the obits for myself.

It's absolutely not spite, not really even anger. They're pretty much non people to me at this point.

Well, that and I'm EXTREMELY protective of my kids. I almost feel sorry for the boys who are going to try and take my daughters out on dates later on...

Are you planning on controlling those boys through violence and fear?

I'm a nonviolent man. But fear, you bet your ass I'm going to make everyone I can afraid to hurt one of my girls.


...and you believe that any boy who wants to take one of your daughters on a date intends to hurt her?  That seems awfully misanthropic & paranoid.
 
2013-10-21 03:39:07 PM

udhq: Beeblebrox: udhq: Phil Moskowitz: udhq: All spanking did to me was give me a seething hatred against idiots who need to use violence and fear to control their children, and a resolve to make sure that decision hurts my parents more than it ever did me.

Every couple of years when they try to reestablish contact with me and my family, I send them the same form letter that as a consequence of their actions, they will go to their graves without ever having met their grandchildren.

I admire and respect that level of spite. I have a parent I'm trolling the obits for myself.

It's absolutely not spite, not really even anger. They're pretty much non people to me at this point.

Well, that and I'm EXTREMELY protective of my kids. I almost feel sorry for the boys who are going to try and take my daughters out on dates later on...

Are you planning on controlling those boys through violence and fear?

I'm a nonviolent man. But fear, you bet your ass I'm going to make everyone I can afraid to hurt one of my girls.


I've heard that reasoning with them works better ...
 
2013-10-21 03:43:19 PM
udhq:
I'm a nonviolent man. But fear, you bet your ass I'm going to make everyone I can afraid to hurt one of my girls.

If you're completely nonviolent and those boys know it... Not much fear to be spread about.

/IMO.
//Obviously.
 
2013-10-21 03:45:48 PM

mafiageek1980: Secondly, I'm sure if EVERY kid who got spanked and turned violent, crime would be a HELL of a lot worse than it already is.


You're absolutely right. In a similar vein, some people who smoke never get lung cancer. Therefore, smoking and lung cancer can't be linked.

What's that, no one said that everybody who smokes gets lung cancer? Interesting, that. Now, back to the topic of all of those many people who said that every child who is spanked turned violent.
 
2013-10-21 03:51:08 PM

TheYeti: My daughter is too young for that whole thing just yet, but I have several friends that operate pretty much as above and it seems to work. I have never once seen any of the kids make it to five and have to get spanked.


If you do use the countdown method make sure you follow through and don't do the 3, 2, 1.5, 1, .5, .25 BS.  3,2,1,0 discipline.  My wife can't figure out why the counting works for me but not here when she's done counting she just starts again or yells at them to do what she had said.
 
2013-10-21 03:54:44 PM

TNel: TheYeti: My daughter is too young for that whole thing just yet, but I have several friends that operate pretty much as above and it seems to work. I have never once seen any of the kids make it to five and have to get spanked.

If you do use the countdown method make sure you follow through and don't do the 3, 2, 1.5, 1, .5, .25 BS.  3,2,1,0 discipline.  My wife can't figure out why the counting works for me but not here when she's done counting she just starts again or yells at them to do what she had said.


Consistency is hugely important.

NEVER START COUNTING DOWN IF YOU DON'T INTEND TO GO THROUGH WITH IT.
 
2013-10-21 03:57:53 PM
Nobody shot up schools when everybody got their ass whupped for misbehaving.
 
2013-10-21 03:58:08 PM

FatherChaos: I think spanking is much more humane than doing this to a child.
[bios.weddingbee.com image 250x262]


And I'd argue that neither are appropriate before baby completes a Good Infant Citizen training course and masters the basic sit-stay-come-heel commands before being allowed out in public :D

(We've already had Electric Fences and baby leashes discussed, why not?)

...In all seriousness, though, in general there are better approaches than spanking for most disciplinary issues and if spanking is used it should (IMHO) be reserved for "shiat that if not nipped in bud will actively maim or kill babby" sort of things--running out in the middle of the street on multiple occasions sorts of stuff.

/the idea of Good Canine Citizen training for babies does still amuse me, though
//Do not worry, I do not intend on having babby.  I prefer puppies and kittens, and besides, biology (fortunately for the world at large) said no a long time ago to the idea of GPD-Spawn :D
 
2013-10-21 03:59:16 PM

jshine: udhq: Beeblebrox: udhq: Phil Moskowitz: udhq: All spanking did to me was give me a seething hatred against idiots who need to use violence and fear to control their children, and a resolve to make sure that decision hurts my parents more than it ever did me.

Every couple of years when they try to reestablish contact with me and my family, I send them the same form letter that as a consequence of their actions, they will go to their graves without ever having met their grandchildren.

I admire and respect that level of spite. I have a parent I'm trolling the obits for myself.

It's absolutely not spite, not really even anger. They're pretty much non people to me at this point.

Well, that and I'm EXTREMELY protective of my kids. I almost feel sorry for the boys who are going to try and take my daughters out on dates later on...

Are you planning on controlling those boys through violence and fear?

I'm a nonviolent man. But fear, you bet your ass I'm going to make everyone I can afraid to hurt one of my girls.

...and you believe that any boy who wants to take one of your daughters on a date intends to hurt her?  That seems awfully misanthropic & paranoid.


You'll understand when you have kids.
 
2013-10-21 04:01:45 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Nobody shot up schools when everybody got their ass whupped for misbehaving.


Bath township, Michigan would like to have a word with you.

/48 dead
//1927
 
2013-10-21 04:05:27 PM

mediablitz: I've said it many times: If you have to spank a 3-5 year old, you are the loser. You have to actually put in WORK to raise good kids. Lazy parents spank because they are lazy.


I agree. A baseball bat or a two-by-four coupled with a practiced swing makes all the difference in the world.

And I am at work so I cannot post the Cyanide and Happiness comic with the women beating another ladies' child.  Someone help a Farker out.
 
2013-10-21 04:08:17 PM

TNel: TheYeti: My daughter is too young for that whole thing just yet, but I have several friends that operate pretty much as above and it seems to work. I have never once seen any of the kids make it to five and have to get spanked.

If you do use the countdown method make sure you follow through and don't do the 3, 2, 1.5, 1, .5, .25 BS.  3,2,1,0 discipline.  My wife can't figure out why the counting works for me but not here when she's done counting she just starts again or yells at them to do what she had said.


The things you say in this thread are pretty much the sorts of things would I expect to hear from the guy who said in a previous thread that the 2 happiest weeks of your year are the weeks you spend away from your family.
 
2013-10-21 04:39:26 PM
When your only tool is spanking, everything looks like an ass.
 
2013-10-21 05:24:15 PM

js34603: What I don't get is why stop with kids? If spanking is such effective discipline let's start spanking adults. That'll learn 'em.

Missed your work deadline? Time for a spanking.

Speeding? Get my belt.

DUI? You best believe that's a paddling.

Once you spank them a couple times, they'll never commit another crime or miss a deadline.


When one of my employees missed their deadline through goofing around I took away their iPhone, made then stand in the corner of my office for an hour and told them they weren't allowed to go home and see their friends for a week.

Funny - that didn't go down to well either.
 
2013-10-21 05:33:22 PM
Many of you are blessing us with the benefit of your theoretical parenting skills, and for that, I award you all one million theoretical dollars.  Be careful not to spend it all on hookers and blow.

Those of you from the "my parents spanked me and I hate them with the fury of a thousand men" camp should probably seek counseling as you were very likely physically and emotionally abused and much of your behavior on Fark is now more understandable.

My children have received spankings in the past.  My oldest has not received one in several years and she is a well-adjusted, respectful, fun-loving teenager.  Now that she is older, the threat of loss of her tablet/computer/TV privileges has enough of an effect on her that no further actions are required.

My younger ones (my sons) still get a swat on rare occasions, but it's only after repeated warnings and loss of privileges. I don't think I've had to paddle either of them in over a year.  We don't use our hands; we use a small paddle that was cut from a piece of cedar 1X4.  It makes a lot of noise with very little force behind it.  Many of you have been hit harder playing a game of punch-buggy on car trips than our kids have been spanked (those of you with helicopter parents probably haven't).

When we punish our children, we are careful to explain that we love them but we don't accept wrong behavior.  Correction of any sort hurts their feelings, and occasionally their bottoms, but they have no doubt in their minds that they are loved.  They seek us out for hugs multiple times a day, and they often walk by the room where we are sitting or working and look in just to say they love us.

Those of you who are screaming "SPANKING IS CHILD ABUSE AND YOU OUGHT TO BE IMPRISONED" at your monitors won't understand any of this, and you are certain to respond with a predictable amount of wharrgarbl. That's ok; freedom of speech entitles you to be as verbose in your errant opinions as you care to be.
 
2013-10-21 06:36:34 PM
Participants: The Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study, the people who did the study even mention on their website that "The Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study is following a cohort of nearly 5,000 children born in large U.S. cities between 1998 and 2000 (roughly three-quarters of whom were born to unmarried parents). We refer to unmarried parents and their children as "fragile families" to underscore that they are families and that they are at greater risk of breaking up and living in poverty than more traditional families. "

Measure: "In the past month, have you spanked (child) because (he/she) was misbehaving or acting up?" The parent's responses were coded as no spanking in the past month, spanking once a week or less, and spanking twice or more each week." Asking about months and coding to weeks? And why not keep the original number? Continuous variables are harder to fudge by piling a lot of people in one category?

The model trying to predict rule breaking and aggression with only spanking has an R2 of 0.04. They need to add family situation to get to 0.10, maternal mental health en cognition to get to 0.14 and behaviour before age 3 to get to 0.23.

For vocabulary they start at 0.031 with spanking only and go to 0.28, 0.30 and 0.38 by adding family and child characteristics, maternal health and cognition, and scores before age 3 respectively.

We have a worthless methodology applied to a group of people of whom 75% are "at risk" and we are then making general statements based on that? And the spanking only model has an R2 of a mere 0.04? I'm not buying the conclusions of this article.
 
2013-10-21 06:53:39 PM
Spanking is assault and battery on a child, and should be punished accordingly, as a violent felony.
 
2013-10-21 07:04:40 PM

udhq: In the end, I lead a happy, healthy, totally nonviolent and successful life.

All spanking did to me was give me a seething hatred against idiots who need to use violence and fear to control their children, and a resolve to make sure that decision hurts my parents more than it ever did me.

Every couple of years when they try to reestablish contact with me and my family, I send them the same form letter that as a consequence of their actions, they will go to their graves without ever having met their grandchildren.

I urge all children of spankers to do the same.


Lol, unless they were abusing you (like actually abusing you, not the 'spank = abuse' bs) you have some serious issues which are completely unrelated to the topic at hand.
 
2013-10-21 07:09:03 PM

steve42: Many of you are blessing us with the benefit of your theoretical parenting skills, and for that, I award you all one million theoretical dollars.  Be careful not to spend it all on hookers and blow.

Those of you from the "my parents spanked me and I hate them with the fury of a thousand men" camp should probably seek counseling as you were very likely physically and emotionally abused and much of your behavior on Fark is now more understandable.

My children have received spankings in the past.  My oldest has not received one in several years and she is a well-adjusted, respectful, fun-loving teenager.  Now that she is older, the threat of loss of her tablet/computer/TV privileges has enough of an effect on her that no further actions are required.

My younger ones (my sons) still get a swat on rare occasions, but it's only after repeated warnings and loss of privileges. I don't think I've had to paddle either of them in over a year.  We don't use our hands; we use a small paddle that was cut from a piece of cedar 1X4.  It makes a lot of noise with very little force behind it.  Many of you have been hit harder playing a game of punch-buggy on car trips than our kids have been spanked (those of you with helicopter parents probably haven't).

When we punish our children, we are careful to explain that we love them but we don't accept wrong behavior.  Correction of any sort hurts their feelings, and occasionally their bottoms, but they have no doubt in their minds that they are loved.  They seek us out for hugs multiple times a day, and they often walk by the room where we are sitting or working and look in just to say they love us.

Those of you who are screaming "SPANKING IS CHILD ABUSE AND YOU OUGHT TO BE IMPRISONED" at your monitors won't understand any of this, and you are certain to respond with a predictable amount of wharrgarbl. That's ok; freedom of speech entitles you to be as verbose in your errant opinions as you care to be.


Your tone needs a good beating to death.
 
2013-10-21 07:29:42 PM

thurstonxhowell: mafiageek1980: Secondly, I'm sure if EVERY kid who got spanked and turned violent, crime would be a HELL of a lot worse than it already is.

You're absolutely right. In a similar vein, some people who smoke never get lung cancer. Therefore, smoking and lung cancer can't be linked.

What's that, no one said that everybody who smokes gets lung cancer? Interesting, that. Now, back to the topic of all of those many people who said that every child who is spanked turned violent.


That's the thing that I think is missing from these studies:  spanking means very different things in households.  I know some parents use it as a primary punishments and others who only bring it out for egregious stuff.  Some try to inflict as much pain as possible some merely use enough to get the point across.  Some parents even make the kids take down their pants.

I think the outcome would vary wildly based on how and when the punishment was administered so to do a study without taking into account all of those variable it's pretty flawed.
 
2013-10-21 08:05:59 PM

thurstonxhowell: steve42: Many of you are blessing us with the benefit of your theoretical parenting skills, and for that, I award you all one million theoretical dollars.  Be careful not to spend it all on hookers and blow.

Those of you from the "my parents spanked me and I hate them with the fury of a thousand men" camp should probably seek counseling as you were very likely physically and emotionally abused and much of your behavior on Fark is now more understandable.

My children have received spankings in the past.  My oldest has not received one in several years and she is a well-adjusted, respectful, fun-loving teenager.  Now that she is older, the threat of loss of her tablet/computer/TV privileges has enough of an effect on her that no further actions are required.

My younger ones (my sons) still get a swat on rare occasions, but it's only after repeated warnings and loss of privileges. I don't think I've had to paddle either of them in over a year.  We don't use our hands; we use a small paddle that was cut from a piece of cedar 1X4.  It makes a lot of noise with very little force behind it.  Many of you have been hit harder playing a game of punch-buggy on car trips than our kids have been spanked (those of you with helicopter parents probably haven't).

When we punish our children, we are careful to explain that we love them but we don't accept wrong behavior.  Correction of any sort hurts their feelings, and occasionally their bottoms, but they have no doubt in their minds that they are loved.  They seek us out for hugs multiple times a day, and they often walk by the room where we are sitting or working and look in just to say they love us.

Those of you who are screaming "SPANKING IS CHILD ABUSE AND YOU OUGHT TO BE IMPRISONED" at your monitors won't understand any of this, and you are certain to respond with a predictable amount of wharrgarbl. That's ok; freedom of speech entitles you to be as verbose in your errant opinions as you care to be.

Your tone needs a good beating to death.


You heard my tone through the Internet? That's awesome.

Fortunately, I'm capable of distinguishing your ITG statement from an actual threat, because that might be considered harassment. See how free speech works?
 
2013-10-21 11:59:16 PM

Beeblebrox: Ain't nobody got time for that.  My dad saved it all up each night.  I deserved almost all of them and got away with a lot more.  Either that or my parents were just tired of it by then since I'm the youngest of 4 boys.

Mom used Hotwheels track to beat us.  I want to form a support group.


Heh. My brothers and I used to hit each other with Hot Wheels tracks. Mom & Dad whupped our asses with a belt when we acted up. Mom couldn't hit us very hard, and we always laughed and said, "Oooh, you're tickling me!" whenever she tried. Dad, however, could deliver a pretty good wallop with said belt.

I can think of only one time that I got the belt when I didn't deserve it. That was when Younger Brother stuck pins in his hand and said that I did it. When Dad finally got the truth out of him, Younger Brother got the butt-whuppin of all butt-whuppins.

All three of us attended college, and none of us became violent criminals.

The_Sponge: No, proper spanking is not abuse.

/Hated it when I was a kid.
//Told myself I would never do it as a parent.
///But now that I'm older and I see so many kids acting like little shiats, I would properly do it if I became a father.
////Was spanked and ended up just fine.


There was a time when I thought that perhaps Dad went a little overboard with the spankings (if one of us dared to act up in public, we got the belt right then and there. 'Twas usually Younger Brother; Older Brother and I knew better), but that changed after I became an adult. I hate shopping during the day because there are so many unsupervised, undisciplined kids running around whose parents don't give a damn about their public behavior; you can tell that they've never spanked their kids.

A few years ago, I took my mom to a Mervyn's store to do some shopping. She was looking at clothes in the Women's section when she was knocked down by two girls (probably around 9 - 11) who were running around the store. Mom is an elderly woman who uses a cane. I helped her get up, then yelled at and went after the girls. They ran to their mother, who yelled at me for yelling at her kids. A store employee finally came over to sort things out (by then, there was a small crowd of people gathered around). The girls' mother said that the kids were "just playing;" I said, "THIS IS A STORE, NOT A PLAYGROUND!" All of us were asked to leave the store (which Mom & I did, gladly. I never went to that place again). Neither the biatch nor her spawn apologized for knocking my mother to the ground. I should've grabbed Mom's cane and beat the little shiats.
 
2013-10-22 03:29:38 AM

FatherChaos: I think spanking is much more humane than doing this to a child.


Bought one of those for my godson. Little bugger knows not to wander off, and the parents know exactly where he is. Good thing it's still in good nick; they're having another kid...and they picked the name "Jace."

/That is not a real name, god damn it...
 
2013-10-22 03:32:59 AM
I was spanked as a child. I can remember being spanked as young as 3, and I turned out great: multiple degrees, reasonably stable, depressed as all hell, but more or less average.

My eldest brother got it in his kids' heads quick: misbehave, you get spanked. Took maybe until each kid was 1 1/2 before they only needed a warning before straightening up. I hope I have that kind of success with my own (future, adopted) son.
 
2013-10-22 03:38:41 AM

The_Sponge: Day_Old_Dutchie: Well, lookey here, y'all

[s22.postimg.org image 850x566]
http://pcclib10afall2012burton.pbworks.com/w/page/60375707/Kellee%20 In gram


CSB:

It used to be allowed at my elementary school (in WA) back in 1985.  However, the principal would call the parents for permission first.

/Once asked my Mom if she would give said permission.
//She said yes.
///Fortunately, I never got into that level of trouble at school.


CSB:

My (Catholic) elementary school sent out a form every year asking if parents wanted the school to use corporal punishment, and my mother never said yes. I finally asked my mother last year why, and she said "If a son of mine did something so stupid as to warrant corporal punishment, why the f*** am I gonna let a school take that fun away from me?"
 
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