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(Slate)   Going by these newspaper endorsements, saying the Virginia governor's race is a choice between a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich is an insult to Giant Douches and Turd Sandwiches   (slate.com) divider line 81
    More: Sad, Terry McAuliffe, worst thing, Cuccinelli, write-ins  
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1769 clicks; posted to Politics » on 21 Oct 2013 at 1:48 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-21 01:31:34 PM
"Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.
 
2013-10-21 01:53:54 PM

Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.


You could actually eat the first one sure... but the latter I would never EVER vote for that closeted misogynist jackass even if I were on fire and he was holding the water hose.

Living in RVA, I figure the governor, given the term limits, really isn't that big of a deal. Hoping the GA gets better this year.

Mainly I just want to be rid of CANTor.
 
2013-10-21 01:54:58 PM

Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.


That's a pretty good analogy, actually.
 
2013-10-21 01:58:26 PM
Louisiana found itself in a similar position about 20 years ago - having to choose between an unindicted criminal and a former Grand Wizard of the KKK.
 
2013-10-21 01:59:59 PM

Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.


"Loathsome but functional" is the nicest thing anyone has said about Terry McAullifle in two decades.

That he's orders of magnitude more preferable to Coochbsoeaks volumes.
 
2013-10-21 02:02:44 PM

Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.


Titty sprinkles?
 
2013-10-21 02:04:45 PM
Terry M's campaign is admittedly nothing to get too excited about but Kenny C's is an abomination.
 
2013-10-21 02:06:46 PM

Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.


Well put.  McAwful sucks, but his suckage is orders-of-magnitude less than Fundy McAntiblowjob.
 
2013-10-21 02:09:00 PM
Got to ask...  Why couldn't/didn't the Democrats find someone less douchey for this race?
 
2013-10-21 02:10:46 PM

Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.


McAuliffe is a mini-Romney as far as his Bain Capitalesque activities. Unlike Romney, he is under investigation by the SEC for being a crook. He is a Clinton douche, so the left will vote for him instead of third party. Be a useful leftist idiot. It has been working so well for you.
 
2013-10-21 02:11:11 PM

sendtodave: Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.

Titty sprinkles?


Freedomkles?
 
2013-10-21 02:11:57 PM
Who was the one with all the campaign finance shenanigans, funneling money through "wedding gifts" to his daughter?
 
2013-10-21 02:13:12 PM

Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.


Nah, Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich is actually a pretty good analogy.  Giant Douche is something people find distateful, but it has a job to do and does pretty well at that job.  Turd Sandwich is a festering lump of disease that will only bring pain and suffering to anybody who is dumb enough to eat it.
 
2013-10-21 02:13:28 PM

Nemo's Brother: Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.

McAuliffe is a mini-Romney as far as his Bain Capitalesque activities. Unlike Romney, he is under investigation by the SEC for being a crook. He is a Clinton douche, so the left will vote for him instead of third party. Be a useful leftist idiot. It has been working so well for you.


Everyone in this thread is basically saying that the guy is unpalatable, but Cuccinelli would be a catastrophe.  It's not irrational in that case to hold your nose and vote for the lesser of two evils.  Moderates will swing to McAuliffe as well, for the same reasons.
 
2013-10-21 02:13:55 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Got to ask...  Why couldn't/didn't the Democrats find someone less douchey for this race?


He is an implant from the DNC. The left were told to vote for him and like it.

Same with the right and Cucc this time too.  Va is so farked.
 
2013-10-21 02:14:05 PM

Nemo's Brother: Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.

McAuliffe is a mini-Romney as far as his Bain Capitalesque activities. Unlike Romney, he is under investigation by the SEC for being a crook. He is a Clinton douche, so the left will vote for him instead of third party. Be a useful leftist idiot. It has been working so well for you.


And how well has voting third party worked out for you?  Gotten any candidates elected?  Effected any change?
 
2013-10-21 02:15:23 PM

factoryconnection: Who was the one with all the campaign finance shenanigans, funneling money through "wedding gifts" to his daughter?


That was the *current* Governor (Who is not running for re-election, because he can't, due to the way Virginia's term limits on the Governor work), but I believe Cuchinelli was caught up in that whole scandal.

Cucinelli is the current AG, who, among other things, demanded the Supreme Court make sodomy illegal again (because he can't prosecute child predators otherwise!), and also attempted to sue/indict a researcher at UVA for having the audacity to perform global warming research that cucinelli objected to.
 
2013-10-21 02:20:39 PM

factoryconnection: Who was the one with all the campaign finance shenanigans, funneling money through "wedding gifts" to his daughter?


Neither one. That's the current governor, Bob McDonnell, and he's not running again. He can't: in VA, you can't be elected governor twice in a row. He could run again in the next election if he wanted to, though.
 
2013-10-21 02:21:46 PM

factoryconnection: Who was the one with all the campaign finance shenanigans, funneling money through "wedding gifts" to his daughter?


THAT was actually our outgoing governor, who Cuccinelli works for, and declined to investigate for something like a year?
 
2013-10-21 02:22:14 PM
Can we just stop with the "calling someone a ____ is an insult to ___?" It stopped being clever or funny in the 17th century.
 
2013-10-21 02:23:27 PM

Nemo's Brother: Satanic_Hamster: Got to ask...  Why couldn't/didn't the Democrats find someone less douchey for this race?

He is an implant from the DNC. The left were told to vote for him and like it.

Same with the right and Cucc this time too.  Va is so farked.


"The Left" in this case being "people who looked at Cucinelli and decided anything else would be better."
 
2013-10-21 02:25:00 PM

Nemo's Brother: Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.

McAuliffe is a mini-Romney as far as his Bain Capitalesque activities. Unlike Romney, he is under investigation by the SEC for being a crook. He is a Clinton douche, so the left will vote for him instead of third party. Be a useful leftist idiot. It has been working so well for you.


If I were a resident of Virginia, I would have trouble voting for McAuliffe, but I could if I were in fear of him losing to Cuccinelli. I'd flee the state if Cuccinelli were elected.
 
2013-10-21 02:27:27 PM

silo123j: Hoping the GA gets better this year.

Mainly I just want to be rid of CANTor.


These.

/NoVA
 
2013-10-21 02:28:42 PM
For non-Virginians, can we get a quick recap of Cuccinelli's biggest offenses?
 
2013-10-21 02:33:04 PM

rtaylor92: For non-Virginians, can we get a quick recap of Cuccinelli's biggest offenses?


Sure!

Here's one:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attorney_General_of_Virginia%27s_climat e_ science_investigation

Basic Gist of it: Cucicinelli began an investigation into a climate scientist in Virginia, demanding to see all his data and records. "The demand was issued under the Virginia Fraud Against Taxpayers Act in connection with claims by Cuccinnelli that Mann had possibly violated state fraud laws in relation to five research grants, by allegedly manipulating data. No evidence of wrongdoing was presented to support the claim."

Also, he tried to get Virginia's anti-sodomy law reinstated (going all the way to the supreme court), by claiming that without it, he could not effictively prosecute child mollestors.
"Cuccinelli had made the issue a central part of his campaign, falsely claiming Virginia's Crimes Against Nature law - which made it a felony for even married couples to have consensual oral or anal sex in their homes - now applied only to people who preyed on children. "
http://www.advocate.com/politics/2013/10/08/supreme-court-dismisses- ke n-cuccinelli%E2%80%99s-sodomy-law-appeal

That's two to start with.
 
2013-10-21 02:36:10 PM

Serious Black: If I were a resident of Virginia, I would have trouble voting for McAuliffe, but I could if I were in fear of him losing to Cuccinelli. I'd flee the state if Cuccinelli were elected.


My sister is one of the editors at a Stanton newspaper. From what she's been telling me McAuliffe really is just a DNC lackey, but compared to the crazy that spouts from Cuccinelli's campaign on a fairly regular basis, most people, even in the redder parts of the state, will probably vote McAuliffe.
 
2013-10-21 02:36:30 PM

Nemo's Brother: Satanic_Hamster: Got to ask...  Why couldn't/didn't the Democrats find someone less douchey for this race?

He is an implant from the DNC. The left were told to vote for him and like it.

Same with the right and Cucc this time too.  Va is so farked.


Derp aside, I repeat the question.  This is seriously the best person they could come up with?
 
2013-10-21 02:38:12 PM

rtaylor92: For non-Virginians, can we get a quick recap of Cuccinelli's biggest offenses?


Lead person suing against ObamaCare.
Believes pollution does not actually make people sick.
Fought to keep a blatantly unconstitutional anti-sodomy law in force.
Wants to ban birthright citizenship.
Has fought in court for years to make abortion 100% illegal.
Wants to cut tax rates and pay for it with closing unspecified loopholes (kind of like what Romney proposed in 2012).
Thinks abstinence-only sex education is the only option.

I'm not from Virginia, but those are the biggest offenses I remember.
 
2013-10-21 02:39:21 PM
Why couldn't they find someone better than McAuliffe? Especially for a soft target like The Cooch.
 
2013-10-21 02:42:55 PM
I thought Terry McAuliffe died when the Challenger  exploded.
 
2013-10-21 02:43:52 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Nemo's Brother: Satanic_Hamster: Got to ask...  Why couldn't/didn't the Democrats find someone less douchey for this race?

He is an implant from the DNC. The left were told to vote for him and like it.

Same with the right and Cucc this time too.  Va is so farked.

Derp aside, I repeat the question.  This is seriously the best person they could come up with?


According to the Wikipedia article, he was apparently the only candidate who bothered to run sooooooo...
 
2013-10-21 02:44:26 PM

Muta: I thought Terry McAuliffe died when the Challenger  exploded.


I thought Terry McAuliffe died when Howard Dean's presidential campaign exploded
 
2013-10-21 02:44:29 PM
Sounds like Georgia's last governor race.

In one corner we have Nathan Deal, a sleezebag politician who is fighting off bankruptcy because his stupid kids pulled him into a bad business deal and had ethics problems when he was in Washington.

In the other corner is Roy Barnes, a hated former governor whose main campaign involved sucking up to government unions and accusing the other candidate of wanting women to be raped because he voted to align the state's evidence rules with that of the federal government.  Yep, 'you gonna get raped if you vote for the other guy' was his campaign strategy.

After the rape nonsense, Roy Barnes was basically run out of town on a rail by the AJC and any women's group that had a spokeslady and was trounced in the election.  You had to bring you own noseclip to the polls.

I personally liked Karen Handel (of the choices we had in the primaries), but she has boobs and a vagina and therefore disqualified to run here.
 
2013-10-21 02:46:41 PM
Why is Terry McAuliffe considered such a slime bucket?

I see this statement: "I was one of our party's most visible spokesmen and I had to keep a low profile after the attacks. I was like a caged rat. I couldn't travel. I couldn't make political calls. I couldn't make money calls."

but that is far from the worse thing I've heard referencing 9/11
 
2013-10-21 02:47:17 PM

Rincewind53: Cagey B: "Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich" is misleading, in the "both sides are bad" mold. It's more like a choice between the loathesome but functional Terry McAuliffe, represented by a well-done filet mignon steak slathered in ketchup and cake sprinkles, and teabagger Ken Cuccinelli, represented by the aforementioned Turd Sandwich. Neither choice is palatable, but there's a clear choice there.

That's a pretty good analogy, actually.


Well...maybe if it were "threatened with a Zippo" rare.
 
2013-10-21 02:48:36 PM

TheGreatGazoo: Sounds like Georgia's last governor race.

In one corner we have Nathan Deal, a sleezebag politician who is fighting off bankruptcy because his stupid kids pulled him into a bad business deal and had ethics problems when he was in Washington.

In the other corner is Roy Barnes, a hated former governor whose main campaign involved sucking up to government unions and accusing the other candidate of wanting women to be raped because he voted to align the state's evidence rules with that of the federal government.  Yep, 'you gonna get raped if you vote for the other guy' was his campaign strategy.

After the rape nonsense, Roy Barnes was basically run out of town on a rail by the AJC and any women's group that had a spokeslady and was trounced in the election.  You had to bring you own noseclip to the polls.

I personally liked Karen Handel (of the choices we had in the primaries), but she has boobs and a vagina and therefore disqualified to run here.


Georgia is about to test that theory with Michelle Nunn. They'll also be testing the theory you can be a complete nutter butter and still win in the deep South with any of Broun, Gingrey, Kingston, and Handel as the main candidates to be the Republican nominee. God, that race is going to be hi-larious.
 
2013-10-21 02:50:12 PM

Felgraf: That was the *current* Governor (Who is not running for re-election, because he can't, due to the way Virginia's term limits on the Governor work), but I believe Cuchinelli was caught up in that whole scandal.

Cucinelli is the current AG, who, among other things, demanded the Supreme Court make sodomy illegal again (because he can't prosecute child predators otherwise!), and also attempted to sue/indict a researcher at UVA for having the audacity to perform global warming research that cucinelli objected to.


Thanks; I knew it was McSomebody but McAuliffe didn't sound right.

Cuccinelli's "please invalidate Lawrence v. Texas so that I can, ummmm... prosecute pedophiles?" line of reasoning was like a boat made of screen cloth.

Felgraf: That's two to start with.


Spectacular.
 
2013-10-21 02:51:21 PM

the_vegetarian_cannibal: According to the Wikipedia article, he was apparently the only candidate who bothered to run sooooooo...


Hah hah, really?  You'd think party leaders would have strong armed someone into running.  Just to protect the office better when reelection time comes up, unless they're able to primary him next time around.
 
2013-10-21 02:53:41 PM

TheGreatGazoo: Sounds like Georgia's last governor race.

In one corner we have Nathan Deal, a sleezebag politician who is fighting off bankruptcy because his stupid kids pulled him into a bad business deal and had ethics problems when he was in Washington.

In the other corner is Roy Barnes, a hated former governor whose main campaign involved sucking up to government unions and accusing the other candidate of wanting women to be raped because he voted to align the state's evidence rules with that of the federal government.  Yep, 'you gonna get raped if you vote for the other guy' was his campaign strategy.

After the rape nonsense, Roy Barnes was basically run out of town on a rail by the AJC and any women's group that had a spokeslady and was trounced in the election.  You had to bring you own noseclip to the polls.

I personally liked Karen Handel (of the choices we had in the primaries), but she has boobs and a vagina and therefore disqualified to run here.


Aren't most politicians boobs or pussies?
 
2013-10-21 02:54:21 PM
As far as people who I wish would get voted out of office, Cantor and Goodlatte are two that I would hope are somehow looking for work after next year's midterms.

I know, I'm dreaming.  But it would be glorious. :)
 
2013-10-21 02:55:36 PM

Satanic_Hamster: the_vegetarian_cannibal: According to the Wikipedia article, he was apparently the only candidate who bothered to run sooooooo...

Hah hah, really?  You'd think party leaders would have strong armed someone into running.  Just to protect the office better when reelection time comes up, unless they're able to primary him next time around.


Virginia governors are limited to only one consecutive term at a time so the good news is that he won't be able to run for reelection.
 
2013-10-21 02:56:34 PM
Oh yeah, also hoping that Hurt loses next year as well.  He hasn't done anything at all other than vote completely in lockstep with his party, and never shows up at town halls that aren't packed with fellow Republicans (much like Cantor).
 
2013-10-21 02:56:46 PM

JerseyTim: Why couldn't they find someone better than McAuliffe? Especially for a soft target like The Cooch.


Just a guess, but I think Democrats might find the position of Virginia Governor unattractive for a couple reasons:
1. You'll spend your term fighting with the solid GOP state legislature, who will in all likelihood want nothing to do with you and be working to undermine you the entire time.
2. You're barred from serving consecutive terms and you have no opportunity to consolidate policy, so it's likely that your successor will a) be a Republican and b) make undoing everything you actually managed to accomplish a top priority.
3. Attorney General is an elected position so it's entirely possible that a key member of your administration will be in direct opposition to your policy agenda.
 
2013-10-21 02:56:59 PM

Satanic_Hamster: the_vegetarian_cannibal: According to the Wikipedia article, he was apparently the only candidate who bothered to run sooooooo...

Hah hah, really?  You'd think party leaders would have strong armed someone into running.  Just to protect the office better when reelection time comes up, unless they're able to primary him next time around.


You can't be Governor in virginia two terms in a row. He *can't* run for re-election if he wins.
 
2013-10-21 02:57:57 PM

the_vegetarian_cannibal: Satanic_Hamster: the_vegetarian_cannibal: According to the Wikipedia article, he was apparently the only candidate who bothered to run sooooooo...

Hah hah, really?  You'd think party leaders would have strong armed someone into running.  Just to protect the office better when reelection time comes up, unless they're able to primary him next time around.

Virginia governors are limited to only one consecutive term at a time so the good news is that he won't be able to run for reelection.


That may actually change, since I remember reading that there is a bill before the state legislature to allow for consecutive terms.  I doubt it would pertain to this election if it passes, though.
 
2013-10-21 02:58:56 PM

keithgabryelski: Why is Terry McAuliffe considered such a slime bucket?


Terry McAuliffe is firmly planted in the corporate wing of the Democratic Party. He was one of Clinton's primary fundraisers, and has continued to be a key money person for the party since. Which, by itself would be kind of shady, since his job was to ingratiate himself to deep pocketed corporate interests. But he also has a long history of his own extremely suspicious business dealings.
 
2013-10-21 02:59:01 PM
I'm pretty sure McAuliffe had an opponent in the primary; I voted for him (from the Obama admin, but too lazy to look it up.)

The Cooch is bad, but the real crazy one is the freak running for Lt. Gov. The repub Attorney General candidate is as bad as the Cooch.
 
2013-10-21 03:10:46 PM

Felgraf: You can't be Governor in virginia two terms in a row. He *can't* run for re-election if he wins.


Oh, that's right.  Hopefully he won't screw up for his successor.
 
2013-10-21 03:21:50 PM

Cagey B: keithgabryelski: Why is Terry McAuliffe considered such a slime bucket?

Terry McAuliffe is firmly planted in the corporate wing of the Democratic Party. He was one of Clinton's primary fundraisers, and has continued to be a key money person for the party since. Which, by itself would be kind of shady, since his job was to ingratiate himself to deep pocketed corporate interests. But he also has a long history of his own extremely suspicious business dealings.


Why is any of this a bad thing? These are politicians, not church choir directors. What that says to me is this is an old school politician who wheels and deals and gets shiat done. That's exactly the kind of politician that appeals to me. I don't care if your buddy's construction company gets the contracts because at least things are getting built.
Maybe I'm just cynical but expecting politicians with pristine records and no corruption gets you the Tea party and nothing gets done.
/Northern Virginia
 
2013-10-21 03:22:38 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Felgraf: You can't be Governor in virginia two terms in a row. He *can't* run for re-election if he wins.

Oh, that's right.  Hopefully he won't screw up for his successor.


Have no fear, the Republican state legislature and the (probable) Republican Attorney General will see to it that he does. Or, if he doesn't, the voters of Virginia think he did.
 
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