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(Radar Magazine)   Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow has burned enough bridges to nowhere that it's finally catching up   (radaronline.com) divider line 112
    More: Interesting, Gwyneth Paltrow, Vanity Fair, Shakespeare in Love, Tracy Anderson, Graydon Carter, hard candies, BFFs, Winona Ryder  
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13031 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 21 Oct 2013 at 1:16 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



112 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-21 11:53:46 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-21 01:20:08 PM

Mirrorz: [i.imgur.com image 450x306]


This.
 
2013-10-21 01:20:30 PM
She needs to get punched in the face.
 
2013-10-21 01:21:08 PM
"Watch this sponsor video for access..."

Nope. Don't give that much of a fark.

/Yeah, yeah, I know, NoScript. Work PC doesn't support such mods. I'm lucky they don't mandate IE.
 
2013-10-21 01:22:10 PM
No worries, her blog followers will crowdfund her next project.
 
2013-10-21 01:24:07 PM
Ignoring her is probably worse punishment than anything a rag could print about her.
 
2013-10-21 01:26:23 PM
She once had B.O.?
If you care about ANY of this, kill yourself because you are no longer a useful member of society.
 
2013-10-21 01:28:53 PM

slapmastered: "Watch this sponsor video for access..."

Nope. Don't give that much of a fark.

/Yeah, yeah, I know, NoScript. Work PC doesn't support such mods. I'm lucky they don't mandate IE.


Mozilla Firefox, Portable Edition?

Put it on a USB stick (or your desktop)
 
2013-10-21 01:31:37 PM
Could you imagine caring enough to actually sit through a 30 second sponsored video, let alone the video itself?

Me neither.
 
2013-10-21 01:32:37 PM

LarryDan43: No worries, her blog followers will crowdfund her next project.


Yeah, but she'll find a way to cheat on em'
 
2013-10-21 01:32:51 PM
OMG. A famous person is shiatty and/or biatchy.

Stop the presses.

I must say, she does present herself like her shiat doesn't stink. But hey, I work with people who front every. single. day.

GOD I can't wait to start school full-time! Then I'll finally have FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!

/Rant off
//Sorry if threadjack
 
2013-10-21 01:33:49 PM
What the frack could be so explosive about a Vanity Fair article that I need to hear about it for months before anyone even knows what's in it? Did she kill Jack Ruby or something?
 
2013-10-21 01:33:52 PM
That is the most petty farking "takedown" I've ever read.

OMG, she used to be friends with somebody and she's not anymore!
OMG, she works out all the time!
OMG, her trainer got in trouble!
OMG, she went to a baseball game with her ex-boyfriend!
OMG, she might have had a miscarriage!

Seriously?
 
2013-10-21 01:37:43 PM

DamnYankees: What the frack could be so explosive about a Vanity Fair article that I need to hear about it for months before anyone even knows what's in it? Did she kill Jack Ruby or something?


Maybe she gave Mario Batali a BJ?
 
2013-10-21 01:38:45 PM

rugman11: OMG, she might have had a miscarriage!

Seriously?


Seriously, having a miscarriage and/or post-partum-depression is really nothing to be embarrassed about, and trying to act like either one is a "takedown" is farking malicious and evil.
 
2013-10-21 01:40:17 PM

Mirrorz:


everyone that loves to rag on Gwyneth.
 
2013-10-21 01:40:46 PM
I'd still tongue-punch her fart-box.
 
2013-10-21 01:41:34 PM
30? I mean, that's well beyone the number of antecdotal stories I care to read about that young lady today.
 
2013-10-21 01:46:07 PM

rugman11: That is the most petty farking "takedown" I've ever read.

OMG, she used to be friends with somebody and she's not anymore!
OMG, she works out all the time!
OMG, her trainer got in trouble!
OMG, she went to a baseball game with her ex-boyfriend!
OMG, she might have had a miscarriage!

Seriously?


Her confessing that she is starving her children (on a measly $300/day) is kindof a big deal.

/People who live in the US and don't use deodorant DESERVE to be outcasts. Your salt-based fake thingie just makes you smell like a rotting marsh instead of a rotting swamp.
 
2013-10-21 01:46:37 PM
I hope that biatch dies and burns in hell.
 
2013-10-21 01:47:25 PM

ferretman: I'd still tongue-punch her fart-box.


You're doing it wrong
 
2013-10-21 01:49:39 PM
farm4.static.flickr.com

I'd still goop all over that.
 
2013-10-21 01:50:34 PM
What's really annoying is that no matter how annoying she is in real life or in many of her movies, Paltrow as Pepper Potts is still quite tantalizing.
 
2013-10-21 01:51:18 PM
Does irrational celebrity hate have its own DSM-IV code?

Because it should.
 
2013-10-21 01:51:53 PM

nunyadang: ferretman: I'd still tongue-punch her fart-box.

You're doing it wrong


Wait, are you saying you want to tongue-box her fart-punch or fart-punch her tongue-box?
 
2013-10-21 01:56:13 PM

DamnYankees: What the frack could be so explosive about a Vanity Fair article that I need to hear about it for months before anyone even knows what's in it? Did she kill Jack Ruby or something?


Doubtful, but that won't stop me from repeating it everywhere I go.
 
2013-10-21 02:00:16 PM
For 20 years she's been beautiful, smart, and talented in music and acting - and she's always been 100% f*cking boring and lame.  "Who the hell cares?" would be the correct response...unless she reveals and owns a sex addiction and does interesting...hot things.  Would she go down on you in a theater?  Would she rig up a prop set in a park so that she was standing underground and only her head was showing from inside a cardboard box and insult people passing by?  Because that's what cool Gwyneth would do.
 
2013-10-21 02:02:55 PM

BalugaJoe: She needs to get tongue-punched in the face. shame cave.

 
2013-10-21 02:08:04 PM
mrwgifs.com
 
2013-10-21 02:08:14 PM
I heard that before she starts a movie, she always kills a hobo with a hammer.

/and she loves porn
 
2013-10-21 02:12:35 PM

Burr: I heard that before she starts a movie, she always kills a hobo with a hammer.

/and she loves porn


If Gwyneth plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Iron Man 2" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.
 
2013-10-21 02:12:39 PM

Mirrorz: [i.imgur.com image 450x306]


Over in one
 
2013-10-21 02:16:06 PM
Subtitled: "1001 Reasons Why I Hate Gwyneth Paltrow"

/also done in OP
 
2013-10-21 02:17:35 PM
/skims article

So, she likes sex, is a bit eccentric, a bit of a princess, still hot, and I don't get all the hate. Unless they can come up with something a little more substantial that article reads like petty jealousy or someone trying to invent a scandal because it's a slow news day.
 
2013-10-21 02:19:33 PM

ferretman: I'd still tongue-punch her fart-box.


O_o

 
2013-10-21 02:23:38 PM

MechaPyx: /skims article

So, she likes sex, is a bit eccentric, a bit of a princess, still hot, and I don't get all the hate. Unless they can come up with something a little more substantial that article reads like petty jealousy or someone trying to invent a scandal because it's a slow news day.


Don't forget the B.O.!
 
2013-10-21 02:27:57 PM
Does this have to do with her banging some billionaire or something?  If so fark her, that will totally result in another terrible Coldplay song.
 
2013-10-21 02:28:24 PM

nunyadang: ferretman: I'd still tongue-punch her fart-box.

You're doing it wrong


No, that's how you do it. Get that taste like you just licked a penny, or a 9V Energizer.
 
2013-10-21 02:36:19 PM

Mad_Radhu: Burr: I heard that before she starts a movie, she always kills a hobo with a hammer.

/and she loves porn

If Gwyneth plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Iron Man 2" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.


THAT'S what I was waiting for.
 
kab
2013-10-21 02:37:08 PM
Done in one.
 
2013-10-21 02:41:59 PM
Okay, is there anyone in this thread- gay or straight, male or female- who would turn down Viggo Mortensen?
 
2013-10-21 02:50:59 PM
For the life of me I can't figure out why she gets so much hate. She is about as exciting as a store brand vanilla cookie.
 
2013-10-21 02:52:44 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Okay, is there anyone in this thread- gay or straight, male or female- who would turn down Viggo Mortensen?


I love Viggo, but not that way.
 
2013-10-21 03:03:46 PM

whither_apophis: Mirrorz:

everyone that loves to rag on Gwyneth.


Somehow I read this as everyone loves Gwyneth on the rag.
 
2013-10-21 03:06:49 PM
I've heard that she picks up migrant workers at the Home Depot and makes them choke her in the shower.
 
2013-10-21 03:07:05 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Okay, is there anyone in this thread- gay or straight, male or female- who would turn down Viggo Mortensen?


(Straight man raises hand)

Now, Tatum Channing, on the other hand....


//Not in a gay way
/Like Vikings
 
2013-10-21 03:10:28 PM
The big "scandal" is that Gwyneth claims that all her produce is grown and picked by left-handed, blind, Jewish lesbian immigrants from Laos, but it turns out that none of them are actually left-handed, and one of them is only near-sighted!
 
2013-10-21 03:13:43 PM

Polish Hussar: nunyadang: ferretman: I'd still tongue-punch her fart-box.

You're doing it wrong

Wait, are you saying you want to tongue-box her fart-punch or fart-punch her tongue-box?


He wants to Hawaiian Punch her Fartbongo with his Dick-in-a-box.
 
2013-10-21 03:16:17 PM

Mad_Radhu: Burr: I heard that before she starts a movie, she always kills a hobo with a hammer.

/and she loves porn

If Gwyneth plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Iron Man 2" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.


No matter how many times I read that, I laugh. It has gone through so many different celebs and it is always funny.

Does anyone happen to know where that came from or who was the first person to put those words together, because that right there is deserving of a Nobel prize.
 
2013-10-21 03:18:30 PM

Cookbook's Anarchist: Does anyone happen to know where that came from or who was the first person to put those words together, because that right there is deserving of a Nobel prize.


It's actually a guy here on FARK, he cited the thread. Seems on the level. No, I don't remember who, do your own research!
 
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