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(Slate)   Sorry Babyface, just because you don't like someone's criticism doesn't mean they're "shaming" you   (slate.com) divider line 104
    More: Obvious, Farhad Manjoo, jezebel, Ben Zimmer, American Speech, Sinead O'Connor  
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12817 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2013 at 12:15 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



104 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-21 11:05:58 AM
Article author fails to understand the dangerous slippery slope nature of this type of behavior. Much like candy cigarettes directly led to, by some possible estimates, millions of children taking up smoking (behavior which in itself can open up a path to gateway drugs such as marijuana and the heroin, meth, and cocaine-fueled destructive orgies that follow), "shaming" is a gateway behavior to "bullying," which itself is a very low hurdle to terrorism. Today's overweight child made to feel sad about his weight is tomorrow's human bomb on a crowded train. Isn't a little compassion worth preventing that?
 
2013-10-21 11:11:30 AM

Pocket Ninja: Article author fails to understand the dangerous slippery slope nature of this type of behavior. Much like candy cigarettes directly led to, by some possible estimates, millions of children taking up smoking (behavior which in itself can open up a path to gateway drugs such as marijuana and the heroin, meth, and cocaine-fueled destructive orgies that follow), "shaming" is a gateway behavior to "bullying," which itself is a very low hurdle to terrorism. Today's overweight child made to feel sad about his weight is tomorrow's human bomb on a crowded train. Isn't a little compassion worth preventing that?


I laughed, I cried, I opened a beer .....

cocoa-heaven.com
 
2013-10-21 11:23:00 AM
Wait.  People read Sinead O'Connor's open letter to Miley Cyrus and thought "Gosh, that Sinead O'Connor is just so cruel.  Where does she get these awful ideas about the entertainment industry exploiting young stars' sexuality for short-term profit?"
 
2013-10-21 11:28:10 AM
Take child-shaming, in which parents embarrass their offspring publicly.

I thought that was just called parenting.
 
2013-10-21 11:50:19 AM
forums.watchuseek.com

You're just shame-shaming me!
 
2013-10-21 12:07:32 PM
So shame-shaming then?

We've gone full meta.
 
2013-10-21 12:16:55 PM
Slut shaming isn't anything new

The term "whore" (or "quean") has been applied to promiscuous ladies for a very long time.
 
2013-10-21 12:17:42 PM

Elegy


So shame-shaming then?

We've gone full meta.


We're spiraling into some kind of spiral.
 
2013-10-21 12:18:50 PM
Proposal:

We start to use the cone of shame.

That way, you know if you're being shamed or not.

No cone, no shame.

Deal??

Here's an example.

3.bp.blogspot.com

He's being shamed.

Now, can't we all just get along?
 
2013-10-21 12:20:35 PM

Pocket Ninja: Article author fails to understand the dangerous slippery slope nature of this type of behavior. Much like candy cigarettes directly led to, by some possible estimates, millions of children taking up smoking (behavior which in itself can open up a path to gateway drugs such as marijuana and the heroin, meth, and cocaine-fueled destructive orgies that follow), "shaming" is a gateway behavior to "bullying," which itself is a very low hurdle to terrorism. Today's overweight child made to feel sad about his weight is tomorrow's human bomb on a crowded train. Isn't a little compassion worth preventing that?


Your jib... I like the cut of it.
 
2013-10-21 12:26:17 PM
Put it right next to "offended" as a meaningless term now.
 
2013-10-21 12:27:53 PM
Why did I read so much of that stupid farking article.

/slate-shamer
 
2013-10-21 12:29:16 PM

doubled99: Put it right next to "offended" as a meaningless term now.


Also 'outrage'.
 
2013-10-21 12:29:58 PM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-10-21 12:31:32 PM

doubled99: Put it right next to "offended" as a meaningless term now.



Along with, but not limited to:

-Epic
-Literally
-Hacker
-Lol
-Cathartic
-Meme
-Viral
 
2013-10-21 12:35:31 PM
I had an argument with some feministas recently that I won by them not be able to explain how slut-shaming works on non-sluts. I mean the term has "slut" right in it.
Kinda hard to sexually shame a nixe gal, right?
Even saying, "Hey, stop slut-shaming her" implies you agree she is a slut but object to shaming her.
 
2013-10-21 12:37:16 PM
The author doesn't seem to understand the significance of context in determining the meaning of words.
 
2013-10-21 12:38:31 PM

Old Man Winter: I had an argument with some feministas recently that I won by them not be able to explain how slut-shaming works on non-sluts. I mean the term has "slut" right in it.
Kinda hard to sexually shame a nixe gal, right?
Even saying, "Hey, stop slut-shaming her" implies you agree she is a slut but object to shaming her.


And it's a double-edged sword. Slut-shaming doesn't work on sluts, either, since they have no ability to feel shame in the first place.
 
2013-10-21 12:39:17 PM
Stop calling actions that people take in order to make other people feel ashamed about themselves "shaming?" How about go fark yourself, Slate.
 
2013-10-21 12:39:20 PM
shame it had to end this way

with all these shame-shifters blaming shaming for things beyond the shamers' control

it's hurtful, but I'm sure it gets better

SHAME PRIDE!
 
2013-10-21 12:43:22 PM
Shame is a necessary and useful aspect of human psychology. When guilt fails (as it usually does), shame is the next line of defense in providing the pressure that people need in order to grow and function. But shame can get out of control: turned against inappropriate topics, taken to inappropriate degrees, or some combination of the two. Shame gone mad can do terrible things to a person's psyche. When that happens, we call it bullying.

The trick is in figuring out the right balance: allowing shame enough space to perform its function, but reining it in to prevent abuse.
 
2013-10-21 12:43:44 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

Where do subby's come up with these titles? I read the whole article and did not see ONE mention of Babyface!!!!
 
2013-10-21 12:44:20 PM
can i spiral shame people who have an unnatural love for fibonacci and constantly post pictures illustrating the many manifestations of the golden mean?
 
2013-10-21 12:45:50 PM

Old Man Winter: I had an argument with some feministas recently that I won by them not be able to explain how slut-shaming works on non-sluts.


Sorry, but this sounds like something that happened in your imagination.
 
2013-10-21 12:46:33 PM
fedora-shaming

lol...

They just jelli 'cause the bishes can't resist my wicked fedora.

Pee pee go boom!
 
2013-10-21 12:46:40 PM

medius: can i spiral shame people who have an unnatural love for fibonacci and constantly post pictures illustrating the many manifestations of the golden mean?


Sounds like a prime activity.
 
2013-10-21 12:47:05 PM

Old Man Winter: I had an argument with some feministas recently that I won by them not be able to explain how slut-shaming works on non-sluts. I mean the term has "slut" right in it.
Kinda hard to sexually shame a nixe gal, right?
Even saying, "Hey, stop slut-shaming her" implies you agree she is a slut but object to shaming her.


"Winning" and "won" are also words rapidly losing meaning thanks to their misuse on the internet.
 
2013-10-21 12:47:48 PM

medius: can i spiral shame people who have an unnatural love for fibonacci and constantly post pictures illustrating the many manifestations of the golden mean?


I would like to nerd-shame you now.
 
2013-10-21 12:47:55 PM
Another article written to oppress strong independent womyn from achieving their goals. Someone needs to check their article writing privilege./ugh
 
2013-10-21 12:48:15 PM
Anyone else ashamed they got tricked into clicking TFA?
 
2013-10-21 12:49:36 PM

TheSwizz: Along with, but not limited to:

-Epic
-Literally
-Hacker
-Lol
-Cathartic
-Meme
-Viral

-Fail
-Troll
-Amazing
-Outraged
 
2013-10-21 12:49:51 PM
"There are times when we should feel shame, like when we're tempted to hunt for Communists."

No. No one should ever feel shame for hunting Communists. Rifles, shotguns, handguns... all are appropriate. Even bow-hunting is acceptable.
 
2013-10-21 12:52:41 PM

TheSwizz: doubled99: Put it right next to "offended" as a meaningless term now.


Along with, but not limited to:

-Epic
-Literally
-Hacker
-Lol
-Cathartic
-Meme
-Viral


If bullies want to improve their societal standing, they should redirect their efforts to the people who over-use these words.
 
2013-10-21 12:53:17 PM

Old Man Winter: I had an argument with some feministas recently that I won by them not be able to explain how slut-shaming works on non-sluts. I mean the term has "slut" right in it.
Kinda hard to sexually shame a nixe gal, right?
Even saying, "Hey, stop slut-shaming her" implies you agree she is a slut but object to shaming her.


Did you tell them about your time in the Marine Core?
 
2013-10-21 12:53:22 PM
Common psychopath tactic to pretend they're being abused when anyone criticizes them.

/just sayin'
 
2013-10-21 12:55:11 PM

Millennium: But shame can get out of control: turned against inappropriate topics, taken to inappropriate degrees, or some combination of the two.


would that be a sham shame?

and is that the opposite of a sham wow?

what shaming shamans? what if they're truly shiatty, or just shifty showmen, sharply shafting shapely shanty shoppers for shomer shabbat shipping shrimp?

and what if i add bailey's to my frosty, does it become a shame shake? what if that's what it takes to bring the boys to the yard?
 
2013-10-21 12:56:22 PM

HailRobonia: Old Man Winter: I had an argument with some feministas recently that I won by them not be able to explain how slut-shaming works on non-sluts.

Sorry, but this sounds like something that happened in your imagination.


you misread that

he said "all women are sluts"

cue E.D....
 
2013-10-21 12:56:56 PM
By my estimates it will be about 5 years before all words are meaningless.
 
2013-10-21 12:57:51 PM

Old Man Winter: I had an argument with some feministas recently that I won by them not be able to explain how slut-shaming works on non-sluts. I mean the term has "slut" right in it.
Kinda hard to sexually shame a nixe gal, right?
Even saying, "Hey, stop slut-shaming her" implies you agree she is a slut but object to shaming her.


Slut-shaming is when any woman of any temperament acts out on her sexual desires and then gets called out as if her actions are wrong. Therefore, if a normally prudish girl has a one-night stand with a stranger and gets pregnant and has an abortion and spirals into depression and drops out of college, then everyone tells her if she'd just kept her farking whore legs shut this wouldn't have happened, it's slut-shaming. The use of the word "slut" makes it that much more derogatory because it implies that any woman who has any kind of sex other than missionary-monogamous-married-to-the-only-guy-you-ever-kissed sex makes you a slut.

You didn't win the argument, they just gave up.

/not a feminista
 
2013-10-21 12:58:08 PM

Pocket Ninja: Article author fails to understand the dangerous slippery slope nature of this type of behavior. Much like candy cigarettes directly led to, by some possible estimates, millions of children taking up smoking (behavior which in itself can open up a path to gateway drugs such as marijuana and the heroin, meth, and cocaine-fueled destructive orgies that follow), "shaming" is a gateway behavior to "bullying," which itself is a very low hurdle to terrorism. Today's overweight child made to feel sad about his weight is tomorrow's human bomb on a crowded train. Isn't a little compassion worth preventing that?


Maybe that train wouldn't be so crowded if they weren't so overweight.
 
2013-10-21 01:01:35 PM

TheSwizz: doubled99: Put it right next to "offended" as a meaningless term now.


Along with, but not limited to:

-Epic
-Literally
-Hacker
-Lol
-Cathartic
-Meme
-Viral


I saw this literally epic hacker meme that went viral.  It was so cathartic that I was offended-shamed, lol.
 
2013-10-21 01:03:25 PM

Rapmaster2000: Old Man Winter: I had an argument with some feministas recently that I won by them not be able to explain how slut-shaming works on non-sluts. I mean the term has "slut" right in it.
Kinda hard to sexually shame a nixe gal, right?
Even saying, "Hey, stop slut-shaming her" implies you agree she is a slut but object to shaming her.

Did you tell them about your time in the Marine Core?


Not-knowing-the-difference-between-"core"-and-"corps"-shaming in 10... 9... 8....
 
2013-10-21 01:04:02 PM
I RTFA and thought the phrase "shame shame" and now music is in my head and I don't know what it is.

/Sounds vaguely like Wham!
 
2013-10-21 01:04:28 PM
Body shaming, I wish ESPN would bring back Body Shaping.
 
2013-10-21 01:05:03 PM

ElStreak: Rapmaster2000: Old Man Winter: I had an argument with some feministas recently that I won by them not be able to explain how slut-shaming works on non-sluts. I mean the term has "slut" right in it.
Kinda hard to sexually shame a nixe gal, right?
Even saying, "Hey, stop slut-shaming her" implies you agree she is a slut but object to shaming her.

Did you tell them about your time in the Marine Core?

Not-knowing-the-difference-between-"core"-and-"corps"-shaming in 10... 9... 8....


My wife typed that.
 
2013-10-21 01:05:18 PM
There are things of which we should be unashamed, like our own bodies.

Some people certainly should be ashamed of their bodies.
 
2013-10-21 01:06:00 PM

doubled99: Put it right next to "offended" as a meaningless term now.


Offended, shamed, raped, racist, bullied, and raped.

All essentially meaningless now due to overuseage/misusage.
 
2013-10-21 01:06:38 PM

blindio: I saw this literally epic hacker meme that went viral. It was so cathartic that I was offended-shamed, lol.


It was an extended narrative poem in elevated or dignified language, celebrating the feats of a legendary or traditional hero? Or maybe a literary or dramatic composition that resembles an extended narrative poem celebrating heroic feats?
 
2013-10-21 01:06:41 PM

Anne.Uumellmahaye: Old Man Winter: I had an argument with some feministas recently that I won by them not be able to explain how slut-shaming works on non-sluts. I mean the term has "slut" right in it.
Kinda hard to sexually shame a nixe gal, right?
Even saying, "Hey, stop slut-shaming her" implies you agree she is a slut but object to shaming her.

Slut-shaming is when any woman of any temperament acts out on her sexual desires and then gets called out as if her actions are wrong. Therefore, if a normally prudish girl has a one-night stand with a stranger and gets pregnant and has an abortion and spirals into depression and drops out of college, then everyone tells her if she'd just kept her farking whore legs shut this wouldn't have happened, it's slut-shaming. The use of the word "slut" makes it that much more derogatory because it implies that any woman who has any kind of sex other than missionary-monogamous-married-to-the-only-guy-you-ever-kissed sex makes you a slut.

You didn't win the argument, they just gave up.

/not a feminista


One of my wife's friends was in a dead-end marriage. She was in the process of getting a divorce when she decided to sleep around without being on birth control. She got pregnant. This of course caused all sorts of issues with the divorce and such. When she was told maybe she shouldn't have slept with people without being on birth control, she complained she was being slut-shamed and she shouldn't have to feel bad for having sex, etc.

Sometimes when you do something it has consequences. When people tell you that there are consequences and that you have to deal with them, it absolutely means they're "shaming" you. You should be ashamed you did things you knew might have consequences but then aren't adult enough to actually deal with those consequences (and, for the record, this lady is 33, certainly old enough to understand how the world works).

It's not wrong to have sex, It's not wrong to enjoy sex. It's not wrong to sleep with anyone you want, whenever you want - but it is wrong to assume that somehow you are special and don't have to face the consequences of your actions. This applies to men and women equally, and not just concerning sex. I don't understand why people don't get this.
 
2013-10-21 01:07:55 PM

abhorrent1: There are things of which we should be unashamed, like our own bodies.

Some people certainly should be ashamed of their bodies.


I'm sorta ashamed of what I did to my body in the shower this morning.
 
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