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(Fox News)   Are zombies hurting America? It's not news, it's foxnews.com   (foxnews.com) divider line 50
    More: Asinine, Walking Dead, fictional world  
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8979 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2013 at 6:13 AM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-10-21 07:06:30 AM
10 votes:
i28.photobucket.com
2013-10-21 09:45:59 AM
7 votes:
zombiecake.com
2013-10-20 11:37:35 PM
5 votes:
FTFA: "Hate me all you want, or call me paranoid and misinformed"

You work for Fox News. It's implied.


FTFA: "common theme that is pervasive in American pop culture today: violence"

Do you mean like when the most popular news channel actively pushed us into a war that cost thousands of actual lives?
2013-10-20 11:58:30 PM
4 votes:

slayer199: Apparently, Mr. Moran doesn't understand the sociological implications of the zombies phenomena.  It's not about the undead butthead, it's about the living.  Zombies are a deadly environmental threat, it's how the living deal with that environmental threat.  The hope and the despair.  Those that go crazy, those that don't.  Those that buck up, and those that fold.  Those that survive, and those that don't.

Almost every zombie movie or TV show addresses these issues and many times it's satire masquerading as horror (thinking of the original Dawn of the Dead).   The most disturbing violence is of the human vs. human kind (the lunacy of killing other humans when they're surrounded by zombies that will kill them)...like the Governor (killing anyone that was a threat) or Shane.


That's Dr. Moran, sir!
2013-10-21 10:41:35 AM
3 votes:

Apos: "Dr." Manny Alvarez vs "Dr." Keith Ablow: Who is the bigger charlatan?


Discuss among yourselves.


Dr. / Dr.?

Give me the news.
2013-10-21 09:15:29 AM
3 votes:

Rasraf Mekerk: Ghryswald: "As a doctor and scientist, I know one thing for sure: When you're dead, you're dead."

...and he's never heard of resuscitating people.

You can potentially resuscitate a person whose heart has stopped or gone into a fatal rhythm. You can't resuscitate a dead person. When you're dead, you're dead.


What if they are only mostly dead?
2013-10-21 07:15:12 AM
3 votes:

jaybeezey: The last thing we need is yet another group that people avoid on the streets because they are prone to violence.


That's discriminative towards police officers!
2013-10-21 01:35:37 AM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-10-21 01:13:35 AM
3 votes:
What does the Fox News say?  DERP DERP DERP DERP
2013-10-21 08:54:24 AM
2 votes:
With this country heading towards a socialized system of government, in which officials don't want you to think or focus on what is important for your own personal growth, I'm sure they're more than happy to let you obsess over something as stupid as zombies.

And in turn, you ultimately become the zombie.


Jeez... did he have to write an entire pseudo-intellectual critique of zombies just to get to his little "OMG SOSHALISMZ BAD!" zinger?
2013-10-21 07:45:43 AM
2 votes:
That the hugely successful zombie show is on a competitor's network has nothing, nothing at all to do with publishing a paranoid, childish scribble attempting to claim that it's harmful to 'murrica.
2013-10-21 07:38:22 AM
2 votes:

Gothnet: Also a zombie-infested dystopia is becoming more appealing than actually living in the modern world.

Back to basics, small groups, survival. Life is very real.


Yeah but in most zombie stories, no one gets along. Except Maggie and Short Round. And Daryl and Jamie Lee Curtis.
2013-10-21 07:11:10 AM
2 votes:

Richard C Stanford: You know, I actually think we would benefit if zombies were real. We'd then have a top predator, and be forced to adapt and survive. It would also mean that the idiotic white trash, panty knotting snowflakes, and hoverround riding hambeasts would be removed from the gene pool.
I think a real zombie apocalypse would be more like "Shaun of the Dead". An initial apocalyptic panic, followed by society adapting.


Nice try, but next thing you know, Acorn would be signing them up to vote and bussing them to the polls and the Right Honorable Reverand Al Sharpton would have them classified as a protected class.

The last thing we need is yet another group that people avoid on the streets because they are prone to violence.
2013-10-21 07:06:06 AM
2 votes:

WippitGuud: I am getting dick and tired of everyone calling Jesus a zombie!


If I'd make a zombie movie, it would end with Jesus appearing on the scene, being mighty pissed about everyone who went around massacring the people he just miraculously revived.
2013-10-21 06:56:28 AM
2 votes:

WippitGuud: I am getting dick and tired


I hear they have pills for that now...
2013-10-21 06:52:14 AM
2 votes:

WippitGuud: I am getting dick and tired of everyone calling Jesus a zombie!


Was that a freudian schlik?
2013-10-21 06:49:21 AM
2 votes:
The article is way better if read in the voices of Kent Brockman or Dr. Marvin Monroe.
2013-10-21 06:40:38 AM
2 votes:

No Time To Explain: The Holy Bibble

/the Christian zombie book
//PRAISE ZOMBIE CHRIST!
///make sure to double tap those nails


I am getting dick and tired of everyone calling Jesus a zombie!


He's obviously a divine lich.
2013-10-21 06:24:49 AM
2 votes:
I'm sure the very first commercials in the break after this screed were for Goldline and Apocalypse Chow.
2013-10-21 06:18:40 AM
2 votes:
The Holy Bibble

/the Christian zombie book
//PRAISE ZOMBIE CHRIST!
///make sure to double tap those nails
2013-10-21 06:17:30 AM
2 votes:

T-Servo: FTFA: Give me a break. As a doctor and scientist, I know one thing for sure: When you're dead, you're dead.  Our brains should be less focused on imaginary zombie hoards and more focused on harnessing the tools that we need in order to inflict violence on brown people, create imaginary crises by shutting down government, and keep women-folk in the kitchen.

FTFH

/zombies are popular because they explore the dystopian futures my generation has come to expect from pompous boomers like the author and the network he writes for


1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-10-21 06:16:48 AM
2 votes:
I hate Dr Manny. He's paranoid and misinformed.
2013-10-21 05:22:09 AM
2 votes:
 Is watching "The Walking Dead" seriously hurting American society?

I would argue 'Yes.'


Holy sh*t, it's been a long time since I read a fourth grade book report.
2013-10-21 03:36:25 AM
2 votes:
He says:

 STOP LIKING THINGS THAT I DON'T LIKE.
2013-10-21 12:24:13 AM
2 votes:
Well, Fox does create most of them
2013-10-21 12:07:15 AM
2 votes:
Yeah, they're dead. They're... all messed up.
2013-10-21 10:05:25 AM
1 votes:
"As a doctor and scientist"

25.media.tumblr.com
2013-10-21 09:34:52 AM
1 votes:
2013-10-21 09:19:22 AM
1 votes:
There is far too much sand in his vagina. He should ask O'Reilly if he can borrow his bag of douche for cleansing purposes.
2013-10-21 09:17:27 AM
1 votes:

IdBeCrazyIf: doglover: Not only that, but batteries' acid eats them out after a few years inactive.

Depends on the battery, lithium ions have a very surprising shelf life when not in use. Upwards of 15 years depending on conditions stored in.


Really? fark yeah get me some of those.

Still prefer fire.
2013-10-21 09:15:21 AM
1 votes:

Carn: doglover: Carn: doglover: It's the bloody end of the world plus 2 years. How the hell do they still have batteries for flashlights in that prison?

Well they've still been doing supply runs also I assume.  The supermarket in episode one was relatively untouched.

Batteries are heavy and flashlights suck actually. The good ones eat batteries like candy and the crap ones illuminate for shiat.

Not only that, but batteries' acid eats them out after a few years inactive.

Candle lanterns on the other hand run on wax and cotton. The illuminate better indoors, are lighter, and never go bad on the shelf.

Oil and gas lamps also kick flashlights' ass in situations like that. Torches and braziers too.

We need to get a message to Rick ASAP.


With three candles a night, they could have ambient light in the whole cell block. Not much, but enough.

Plus, you can make more candles. Render up the fat from the zombie.
2013-10-21 09:12:43 AM
1 votes:

doglover: Carn: doglover: It's the bloody end of the world plus 2 years. How the hell do they still have batteries for flashlights in that prison?

Well they've still been doing supply runs also I assume.  The supermarket in episode one was relatively untouched.

Batteries are heavy and flashlights suck actually. The good ones eat batteries like candy and the crap ones illuminate for shiat.

Not only that, but batteries' acid eats them out after a few years inactive.

Candle lanterns on the other hand run on wax and cotton. The illuminate better indoors, are lighter, and never go bad on the shelf.

Oil and gas lamps also kick flashlights' ass in situations like that. Torches and braziers too.


We need to get a message to Rick ASAP.
2013-10-21 09:05:25 AM
1 votes:

SpectroBoy: So this "doctor" missed has never noticed the waves of various monsters being popular throughout history (Frankenstein's  Monster, Dracula, Werewolves, Zombies, etc) until now. And now, all the sudden, now that HE has noticed he thinks it's a bad influence?

What's his next article?  "Get off of my lawn and pull up your pants!" ?


According to his reasoning, the acceptance of books like Dracula and Frankenstein were due to the inexorable slide toward socialism that was being experienced in 19th century Victorian England.
2013-10-21 09:04:58 AM
1 votes:

SpectroBoy: So this "doctor" missed has never noticed the waves of various monsters being popular throughout history (Frankenstein's  Monster, Dracula, Werewolves, Zombies, etc) until now. And now, all the sudden, now that HE has noticed he thinks it's a bad influence?

What's his next article?  "Get off of my lawn and pull up your pants!" ?


Seriously.  Vampires have been pervasive in tv and movies since forever.

Regarding his general comment about violence I was watching Red on network tv but they were showing most of the violence full bore.  In one scene, I think it was the one were John Malkovich blows up the young agent, somebody says "God Damnit" but they bleeped it to "gosh darn" and I started laughing.  Seriously, like two dozen people just were horrifically slaughtered but you are going to censor the most mundane of curses?  If you want to see where the problem lies with violence start right there.
2013-10-21 08:54:12 AM
1 votes:
Zombies, Obamabots, same thing.
2013-10-21 08:52:08 AM
1 votes:
Is foxnews butthurt hurting America? It's not news, it's fark.com
2013-10-21 08:49:26 AM
1 votes:

LeGnome: "Zombie hoards?"


www.candywarehouse.com
2013-10-21 08:45:22 AM
1 votes:

Mid_mo_mad_man: Fox New should like zombies. They hate black men just like Fox News. We all know on TWD they die quicker then a fruit fly


They've had three black men on TWD for two weeks. I believe that's a record. However next week it's two black men,a black woman and Darryl in a car. Four dog better check and see if he's wearing a red shirt.
2013-10-21 08:33:50 AM
1 votes:
OK, OK
I typed dick and tired. I get it.

Fox News reporters are dicks, so the comment is still valid.

/dick
2013-10-21 08:30:39 AM
1 votes:
CSB time!

I once read a paper that claimed that zombies were popular when Democrats were in (or about to take) power, while vampires were popular when they were out of (or about to lose) power. Zombies, the paper claimed, had come to reflect popular fear of unthinking hordes: a sign that the rhetoric of stereotypical Democrats had captured the popular imagination. Vampires, by contrast, reflect popular fear of oversexed parasites, and if that's not thinking like a stereotypical Republican, I don't know what is.

I don't know if I believe this or not, but it's an interesting theory. I'm also forced to wonder how telling it is that the zombie mythos has been evolving and innovating as of late, while the latest vampire craze was farking Twilight.
2013-10-21 08:17:43 AM
1 votes:
Call me paranoid but isn't this exactly what a state sponsored media source would be telling us before the big Z Day, i.e. stay calm folks there's no such thing as zombies, no need to panic etc? I knew this day would come! Buy guns, barricade yourselves in and shoot any loved one coughing or acting in any other way suspiciously!
2013-10-21 07:57:25 AM
1 votes:
My term for zombies is 'children over the age of 18'.

You know, Obama voters.
2013-10-21 07:55:48 AM
1 votes:
www.biography.com

Just wondering if before they wrote this, did anyone at Fox see where this guy was at?
2013-10-21 06:31:41 AM
1 votes:

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Zombies are bad because socialism. We're scraping the bottom of the barrel here, Fox News.


Fox news needs *something* to go on.  they just got their asses kicked over the shutdown and are flailing around desperately for an issue, any issue, that they can focus on to keep the base motivated and on target for 2014.
2013-10-21 06:26:40 AM
1 votes:

thamike:  Is watching "The Walking Dead" seriously hurting American society?

I would argue 'Yes.'

Holy sh*t, it's been a long time since I read a fourth grade book report.


Someone got paid to write this. Just let that sink in here.
2013-10-21 06:22:50 AM
1 votes:
"As a doctor and scientist, I know one thing for sure: When you're dead, you're dead."

...and he's never heard of resuscitating people.
2013-10-21 06:19:00 AM
1 votes:
Wake up and smell the coffee.  Stop obsessing over eating brains, and focus on cultivating your own.

Hey, he's right! [Turns off Fox "News".]
2013-10-21 04:43:37 AM
1 votes:
With this country heading towards a socialized system of government, in which officials don't want you to think or focus on what is important for your own personal growth, I'm sure they're more than happy to let you obsess over something as stupid as zombies.

Thanks Obama
2013-10-20 11:50:41 PM
1 votes:
Zombies are bad because socialism. We're scraping the bottom of the barrel here, Fox News.
2013-10-20 11:45:32 PM
1 votes:
FTFA: Give me a break. As a doctor and scientist, I know one thing for sure: When you're dead, you're dead.  Our brains should be less focused on imaginary zombie hoards and more focused on harnessing the tools that we need in order to inflict violence on brown people, create imaginary crises by shutting down government, and keep women-folk in the kitchen.

FTFH

/zombies are popular because they explore the dystopian futures my generation has come to expect from pompous boomers like the author and the network he writes for
 
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