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(Opposing Views)   Should you take care of your 94-year-old mother because a.) it's the right thing to do, b.) she gave you life, or c.) otherwise she'll sue?   (opposingviews.com) divider line 27
    More: Strange, Zhang Zefang, extreme poverty, Yangtze River  
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4090 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Oct 2013 at 9:14 PM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-20 08:02:01 PM
Your children are in their 70s, they are not up to being care takers, they are on the verge of needing caretakers themselves.
 
2013-10-20 09:45:15 PM
Three continuances and she'll be deceased. It's the ones that say they'll haunt you after they depart that will get you. I think my ex-Mother in Law has bricked three wireless routers.

Sometimes I'll leave Wheel of Fortune on in the the other room just to make her happy.
 
2013-10-20 09:47:31 PM
*cough* soylent green *cough*
 
2013-10-20 09:49:44 PM

EvilEgg: Your children are in their 70s, they are not up to being care takers, they are on the verge of needing caretakers themselves.


that's what i was just thinking.  the traditional idea of caring for your elders came from a time when the average lifespan was about 60.
 
2013-10-20 09:53:19 PM
Taking care of a 94 year old is often going to be very difficult when the chances are pretty good you are close to 70 yourself.
 
2013-10-20 10:00:58 PM
Take her camping, fotget her meds, let her wander off, wipe hands on pants
 
2013-10-20 10:43:30 PM
 
2013-10-20 10:43:30 PM

theknuckler_33: Taking care of a 94 year old is often going to be very difficult when the chances are pretty good you are close to 70 yourself.


Kids these days.
 
2013-10-20 10:51:22 PM
Things were similar here before the passing of Social Security legislation in 1930's.  My great grandfather who came here from Italy around 1910 worked very little and had no income or savings. He was probably clinically depressed (or just plain lazy) since my Mom told me would  stay in bed for 3 days straight rather than help my grandfather with his ice and coal business in Newark, NJ.  He also had poor hygiene skills.  He had several children in US but none of them except my grandmother was willing to provide a place for him to live or support him.  My grandmother was the poorest one and she had 7 children of her own.  But she had the best heart I guess.  She took care of him until he died age 92 in her home of rectal cancer and he was very sick and bedridden for several months before he died.

China has not yet established an adequate Social Security system which would provide more financial independence for the elderly which they clearly need to do to prevent the poor treatment of this poor lady in the article.  There is more of a focus on purchasing consumer goods in urbanized China with the younger generations,  and there is less willingness/ability in some families to support the older generations as they had in the past.  But I'm sure there are many instances where the children and grandchildren make substantial sacrifices for their elderly relatives as my grandmother did decades ago, rather than just keeping them in a room with a bucket for a toilet like the woman in the article.
 
2013-10-20 10:56:57 PM
That question would not be difficult to answer if you are asking the Mommy's Girl.
Ain't that right, Mum?
www.couturelingerie.com.au
 
2013-10-20 11:19:04 PM
Just sad. Not sure there's any grand story of cultural decline to be told though.
 
2013-10-20 11:19:12 PM
Take care of 94 y/o?  I'll take care of her for $100. What you do with the bodyit up to you
 
2013-10-20 11:20:09 PM
Those ungrateful shiats! Without her; those bunch of sociopaths wouldn't exist!

/ yes, I think everybody should probably take care of their parents when their parents get old

// unless they had nothing to do with or abused you; then fark them
 
2013-10-20 11:23:52 PM

DamnYankees: Just sad. Not sure there's any grand story of cultural decline to be told though.


Sure there is, we've been fiddling for quite a while.  You think we need to be sacked by barbarians?
 
2013-10-20 11:26:41 PM
This has been going on for long time, the internet is the only reason we hear about it.
 
2013-10-20 11:35:47 PM

iheartscotch: / yes, I think everybody should probably take care of their parents when their parents get old


If you didn't make some provision for your own retirement/elder care then you're almost by definition a bad parent.

They should take care of you if you're in trouble because of some obscure, exotic disease that nobody could ever have seen coming.  If it's cancer or senility or something you should have damned well known was coming eventually, then in all frankness you sowed it, so have fun reaping it.

// The "because they brought you into this world" argument is crap.  By that logic, they're also responsible for every  bad thing that's ever happened to you.

// If they paid your way all the way through grad school or something, sure, you probably owe them some degree of elder care.  If they kicked you out after high school and you had to either not go to college or do it on loans, they only did the legally required minimum for their own screw-up in not using protection, and you don't owe them anything.
 
2013-10-20 11:37:45 PM

Jim_Callahan: If you didn't make some provision for your own retirement/elder care then you're almost by definition a bad parent.


Whoa whoa whoa. This is too broad. If you come from a culture where its a basic social expectation that your children take care of you when you get older, then you taking care of your children *IS* the provision for your own elder care.

I agree that if you treat your children like crap, you can't expect them to treat you well. But there's no evidence of that in TFA.
 
2013-10-20 11:39:55 PM

enderthexenocide: EvilEgg: Your children are in their 70s, they are not up to being care takers, they are on the verge of needing caretakers themselves.

that's what i was just thinking.  the traditional idea of caring for your elders came from a time when the average lifespan was about 60.


Exactly. What we've got these days is senior citizens trying to take care of even older senior citizens.
 
2013-10-20 11:50:03 PM

Danger Avoid Death: enderthexenocide: EvilEgg: Your children are in their 70s, they are not up to being care takers, they are on the verge of needing caretakers themselves.

that's what i was just thinking.  the traditional idea of caring for your elders came from a time when the average lifespan was about 60.

Exactly. What we've got these days is senior citizens trying to take care of even older senior citizens.


That`s what I was thinking. People are living longer and having less children.  This will only get worse...
 
2013-10-21 12:26:40 AM
Her daughter-in-law constantly bickers with her and contradicts almost every word out of Zhang's mouth.

Well, that deserves a no-contact order.  The Daughter in law should be forbidden to come within 50 yards of her husband's house.
 
2013-10-21 12:27:55 AM

DamnYankees: Jim_Callahan: If you didn't make some provision for your own retirement/elder care then you're almost by definition a bad parent.

Whoa whoa whoa. This is too broad. If you come from a culture where its a basic social expectation that your children take care of you when you get older, then you taking care of your children *IS* the provision for your own elder care.

I agree that if you treat your children like crap, you can't expect them to treat you well. But there's no evidence of that in TFA.


Even in this country it's a little broad. It pretty much would mean there is no such thing as a good working class parent. I mostly agree with the rest of what he said, though. If you do the bare legal minimum for your kids you should expect the same in return when you need care, and if the legal minimum is nothing, well, you probably should have thought of that before you behaved like a worthless piece of shiat.
 
2013-10-21 12:36:25 AM

malaktaus: Even in this country it's a little broad.


So's my grandmother.
 
Esn
2013-10-21 12:49:57 AM

Gyrfalcon: I'll just leave this here, to brighten everyone's day.

http://www.newstimes.com/news/crime/article/Neglected-elderly-Austra li an-endures-brutal-end-4911251.php


That is heartbreaking.

Her daughter should have been made to get a tattoo on her forehead with the words "my mother died in agony because of me".
 
2013-10-21 01:11:47 AM
I am not a fan of the "You owe your parents" idea.

They chose to have a child because of how it would make *them* feel, not because they wanted to help some random floating soul get reincarnated into a new body or somesuch.

Now, if they raised that child to be a good person, chances are said child will look after them because its the good thing to do, but is it "owed"?  No.
 
2013-10-21 01:51:45 AM
I don't blame the kids - I've watched from afar as my mom and sister's relationship deteriorated to not-even-speaking-in-the-same-room, while taking care of my 92 year old, cancer surviving grandmother.

I asked my mom why they didn't sell the house and put my grandmother in a home, and mom was horrified. Then she went back to cleaning the colostomy bag and cooking dinner and babysitting. I guess at least my mom knows how I'd handle things now.
 
2013-10-21 01:53:36 AM
Umm ^^ Mom and her sister.  I don't have a sister. I have a brother who will probably end up with the responsibility if it comes to it. Being 2300 miles away has its advantages.
 
2013-10-21 10:12:04 AM

eldie: her home of rectal cancer


What a horrible home!
 
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