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(CBS News)   Dick Cheney calls his current health a "miracle," but the system of government-sponsored healthcare that provides the former VP his coverage, not so much   (cbsnews.com) divider line 43
    More: Obvious, Dick Cheney, system of government, coverages, vice presidents, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, miracles  
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1174 clicks; posted to Politics » on 19 Oct 2013 at 1:22 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-10-19 10:26:00 AM
13 votes:
This is the worst thing that could possibly happen to organ donation in this country.  I mean, you've just been through this tragedy, someone you love is on life support and you are being asked if they should be taken off life support so their organs can be donated, and in that moment of pain, you are given the extra horror of realizing that there's a possibility your loved one's heart could end up keeping Dick Cheney alive a little while longer.
2013-10-19 02:15:05 PM
10 votes:

LittleSmitty: I don't know who that heart belonged to, how they died, or how he ended up with it. But it deserved a more worthy recipient. And I'm sure someone on a long list to receive a heart replacement got bumped so this soul less fark could have it.


i105.photobucket.com
2013-10-19 01:54:38 PM
5 votes:
My old boss gave me 10,000 to 1 odds that Dick Cheney is actually being controlled from the inside by a smaller, insidious creature. I bet that $1 because you always take 10,000 to one odds, I don't care. We'll see whose stupid when that exoskeleton breaks down from wear and tear, or a hunting buddy out for revenge blasts it off.
2013-10-19 01:13:16 PM
5 votes:

SHUT UP DICK COCK, YOU CHENEY

2013-10-19 03:37:11 PM
4 votes:
When Cheney finally dies, I wonder if they'll post round the clock guards on his grave site or just say fark it and accept reality and just install a hardwood surface over it for all the people to dance on?
2013-10-19 03:12:05 PM
4 votes:

Markoff_Cheney: "Cheney suffered five heart attacks requiring multiple angioplasties and catheterizations"


Some people just can't take a hint.
2013-10-19 02:28:18 PM
4 votes:

jjorsett: I warms the cockles of my heart that Dick Cheney's continued survival can be the source of such aggravation to his enemies. It's also useful in making the veil drop and exposing their true inner selves: hateful, envious, and petty.


same here, lol at all the families of people who were killed in the war he sold on lies,  high five breh!'
2013-10-19 01:32:19 PM
4 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-10-19 11:36:10 PM
3 votes:

Dallymo: crotchgrabber: nekom: Tenga: Just curious, is it a crime to shiat on a grave?

Public defecation is probably a crime in many jurisdictions.  Go ahead and add criminal trespass if you sneak in at night (most cemeteries are closed at night).  You're not really desecrating a corpse as nothing is getting past that vault for many years.  I don't know why I actually bothered to think about that question.

Solution: shiat in a ziploc bag, take it to the cemetery during proper hours, leave your "respects" to the deceased.

You're a problem-solver, you are.  I like that.


Don't do it. That would be a terrible thing to do, getting it all over the feet of the tap-dancers.
2013-10-19 03:38:19 PM
3 votes:
The elderly often have a period of feeling much better before they croak.


Will they install the commercial grade toilet paper dispenser on his headstone? Or do we have to bring our own?
2013-10-19 01:58:48 PM
3 votes:

Tenga: Just curious, is it a crime to shiat on a grave?


Public defecation is probably a crime in many jurisdictions.  Go ahead and add criminal trespass if you sneak in at night (most cemeteries are closed at night).  You're not really desecrating a corpse as nothing is getting past that vault for many years.  I don't know why I actually bothered to think about that question.
2013-10-19 01:55:41 PM
3 votes:
"Miracle" is still the right word when Satan keeps you alive to carry out his deeds, right?
2013-10-19 01:32:04 PM
3 votes:
fta It showed a surge of potassium in his blood, a condition called hyperkalemia that could be fatal.

Only if the banana shoved up Chehey's keister is really, really big.
2013-10-19 01:03:31 PM
3 votes:

Tigger: Is there a person alive today who deserves that life less?

I don't think so.


Id like to nominate the person who split that article over 7 Pages on the mobile site.
2013-10-19 12:43:21 PM
3 votes:
Someone please open a window.

i105.photobucket.com
2013-10-19 11:15:11 AM
3 votes:
It's just modern science.

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
2013-10-19 10:38:09 AM
3 votes:

SHUT UP DICK, YOU COCK

2013-10-19 10:50:05 PM
2 votes:
quatchi: The only reason Dick Cheney still walks the earth is cos Satan hasn't finished renovating the new "Gitmo" circle of Hell he'll be consigned to for all eternity.

Please!  Do I have to spell it out for everyone?  The *only* reason that humanoid-shaped pile of dog shiat 'Cheney' is still alive undead ambulatory and above ground is that Satan is scared *Shiatless* that when Cheney stages his invasion of Hell, Satan will be deposed by this new Lord of the Underworld.


EAT SHIAT, SHUT UP, AND DIAF, DICK CHENEY!

2013-10-19 03:08:55 PM
2 votes:
The Dick, The.
2013-10-19 02:29:54 PM
2 votes:

jjorsett: I warms the cockles of my heart that Dick Cheney's continued survival can be the source of such aggravation to his enemies. It's also useful in making the veil drop and exposing their true inner selves: hateful, envious, and petty.


Yes. Clearly anyone who dislikes a man who pushed for a war that personally enriched himself and his friends, and whose company, when he was CEO, skirted sanctions with a country that was at the time (and later, *STATED BY HIM*) to be our enemy... well, anyone who could dislike such a man is a horrible, hateful, envious, petty person.

War Profiteers are, as we know, the most noble and honorable of all people, paragons of virtue who should be worshiped above all else. Truly, they are the exemplars of human nature.
2013-10-19 02:06:59 PM
2 votes:

nekom: Tenga: Just curious, is it a crime to shiat on a grave?

Public defecation is probably a crime in many jurisdictions.  Go ahead and add criminal trespass if you sneak in at night (most cemeteries are closed at night).  You're not really desecrating a corpse as nothing is getting past that vault for many years.  I don't know why I actually bothered to think about that question.


Solution: shiat in a ziploc bag, take it to the cemetery during proper hours, leave your "respects" to the deceased.
2013-10-19 01:45:31 PM
2 votes:

ginandbacon: True story. I share a cardiologist with this arsehole. He assures me the man actually possesses a heart. I'm still not convinced.


Well, if he wasn't born with one he has one now, probably ripped it still beating out of someone's rib cage and ate it.  If he needs yet another one, you may want to lie low for awhile.
2013-10-19 01:31:51 PM
2 votes:
No Cheney, a miracle would be you and your cronies being charged for your war crimes. You being able to live a bit longer is courtesy of the very people you wanted to send off to fight for your oil profits.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is:

Lionel Mandrake: SHUT UP DICK, YOU COCK


DarwiOdrade: NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK, DICK!


Benevolent Misanthrope: SHUT UP DICK CHENEY YOU COCK!


Demetrius: SHUT UP DICK CHENEY, YOU COCK!


nekom: SHUT UP DICK COCK, YOU CHENEY


THIS.
2013-10-19 11:49:15 AM
2 votes:

NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK, DICK!

vpb [TotalFark]
2013-10-19 10:51:53 AM
2 votes:
It sort of diminishes the whole "miracle" thing if peasants can have it.
2013-10-20 01:33:49 AM
1 votes:

Rann Xerox: DICK CHENEY.  THE HAGUE.  MAKE IT HAPPEN!!


Ha! If someone were to abduct him and drop him at the Hague, you just know he would be on a plane home in an hour with apologies and likely a free t-shirt or something... Or maybe a fresh heart my wife adds. Point is he wouldn't get charged with squat.
2013-10-19 04:13:26 PM
1 votes:

Mugato: Markoff_Cheney: "Cheney suffered five heart attacks requiring multiple angioplasties and catheterizations"

Some people just can't take a hint.


Fun theory I've been working on.

The only reason Dick Cheney still walks the earth is cos Satan hasn't finished renovating the new "Gitmo" circle of Hell he'll be consigned to for all eternity.
2013-10-19 04:01:44 PM
1 votes:
Rarely did a troll get so many bites so soon.
2013-10-19 03:59:08 PM
1 votes:

jjorsett: I warms the cockles of my heart that Dick Cheney's continued survival can be the source of such aggravation to his enemies. It's also useful in making the veil drop and exposing their true inner selves: hateful, envious, and petty.


You know who's also great? Torquemada!
2013-10-19 03:38:24 PM
1 votes:
Plus the Unholy power of Satan that flows through his veins.
2013-10-19 02:46:44 PM
1 votes:

crotchgrabber: nekom: Tenga: Just curious, is it a crime to shiat on a grave?

Public defecation is probably a crime in many jurisdictions.  Go ahead and add criminal trespass if you sneak in at night (most cemeteries are closed at night).  You're not really desecrating a corpse as nothing is getting past that vault for many years.  I don't know why I actually bothered to think about that question.

Solution: shiat in a ziploc bag, take it to the cemetery during proper hours, leave your "respects" to the deceased.


You're a problem-solver, you are.  I like that.
2013-10-19 02:41:55 PM
1 votes:

jjorsett: I warms the cockles of my heart that Dick Cheney's continued survival can be the source of such aggravation to his enemies. It's also useful in making the veil drop and exposing their true inner selves: hateful, envious, and petty.


yes, dislike of Cheney is all about us...it has nothing to do with him being a prick.

And Reagan was a tax-cutting tough guy who single-handedly toppled the Evil Empire!!!

"conservatives" really are masters of self-delusion.
2013-10-19 02:15:01 PM
1 votes:

LittleSmitty: I don't know who that heart belonged to, how they died, or how he ended up with it. But it deserved a more worthy recipient. And I'm sure someone on a long list to receive a heart replacement got bumped so this soul less fark could have it.


I wish the heart was haunted by a monk or someone who might make him feel shame and empathy.

Here's the words in that sentence that are normally not associated with Dick Cheney: wish, heart, monk, feel, shame, empathy.

Here's the word in that sentence that is more often associated with Deck Cheney: haunted.
2013-10-19 02:06:56 PM
1 votes:

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: "Miracle" is still the right word when Satan keeps you alive to carry out his deeds, right?


No need to bring Satan's good name into this.
2013-10-19 01:58:42 PM
1 votes:
farm6.staticflickr.com
2013-10-19 01:55:27 PM
1 votes:

Bareefer Obonghit: My old boss gave me 10,000 to 1 odds that Dick Cheney is actually being controlled from the inside by a smaller, insidious creature. I bet that $1 because you always take 10,000 to one odds, I don't care. We'll see whose stupid when that exoskeleton breaks down from wear and tear, or a hunting buddy out for revenge blasts it off.


Who's, even
2013-10-19 01:53:17 PM
1 votes:
Just curious, is it a crime to shiat on a grave?
2013-10-19 01:47:37 PM
1 votes:

Soon


www.hogdb.com

2013-10-19 01:45:55 PM
1 votes:
I take that to mean that he thinks it's a miracle that nobody has blown his head off in an "hunting" accident yet.

Any other interpretation can be interpreted as the copious application of taxpayer money whenever he burps or coughs in a way that might indicate something is wrong with his health.
2013-10-19 01:36:38 PM
1 votes:
True story. I share a cardiologist with this arsehole. He assures me the man actually possesses a heart. I'm still not convinced.
2013-10-19 12:22:59 PM
1 votes:

Tigger: Is there a person alive today who deserves that life less?

I don't think so.


How can you say that when his company kindly scored a no bid contract to rebuild a country that....someone destroyed?
2013-10-19 12:05:06 PM
1 votes:
I have nothing to add to this conversation right now except for...


SHUT UP DICK CHENEY, YOU COCK!

2013-10-19 11:58:42 AM
1 votes:
Right.  A miracle.  Had nothing to do with the hard work of surgeons, nurses, other caregivers, research scientists, drugs, and government-funded health care.  Or if it did, it's only because your god "worked through them".

And the whole government health care thing is definitely a bad idea.  Except, of course, for your benefit.  So...

SHUT UP DICK CHENEY YOU COCK!

 
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