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(Fox News)   Calling yourself a faith healer who can cure cancer? That's a smitin'   (foxnews.com) divider line 90
    More: Sad, faith healers, Kansas, New Braunfels, frequent flyers, cancer research  
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6742 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2013 at 11:11 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



90 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-18 07:47:48 PM
memecrunch.com
 
2013-10-18 07:49:17 PM
I wonder how much money he bilked out of people in his lifetime...
 
2013-10-18 07:52:18 PM
Well, there was something of value lost. The other person in the plane.
 
2013-10-18 07:56:00 PM
Reminds me of when good ol' Tater Yant used ta fire up tha pulpit....
 
2013-10-18 07:56:04 PM
God needed them for something and called them home. Don't question God's word.

/continue masturbating furiously
 
2013-10-18 07:57:01 PM
The 1975 plane

1975? Is that a model number? Construction date? What?
 
2013-10-18 08:14:05 PM

shanrick: God needed them for something and called them home. Don't question God's word.


You do know, of course, that Christians only say that when it's someone else's loved one...
 
2013-10-18 08:23:19 PM
Since when is Jehovah smiting those worthy of a good hard smite?
 
2013-10-18 08:40:54 PM
I'd like to think that the last thing that went through his head, other than that bullet, was to wonder how the hell Edward Dufresne ever got the best of him.
 
2013-10-18 08:48:23 PM
Although if you were a professional scam artist, 'dying' in a plane crash with no salvageable body is a good out.
 
2013-10-18 09:34:21 PM
Well that's one way to scatter your ashes
 
2013-10-18 10:00:09 PM
Why don't faith healers ever cure amputees?
 
2013-10-18 10:05:15 PM
Bye bye, Mr. Faith Healer Guy
Tried to pray the pain away but it was all for nigh
The good ol' father looked down from the sky,
sayin' "This will be the day that you die"
"This will be the day that you die"
 
2013-10-18 11:15:43 PM
Good riddance.
 
2013-10-18 11:17:42 PM
I actually think these faith healers can cure cancer.

Difficulty: if your cancer gets cured, it means you'll die. So you don't want your cancer healthy, you want it gone.
 
2013-10-18 11:20:37 PM
Yep. Not a single fark given.
 
2013-10-18 11:23:17 PM

BKITU: [memecrunch.com image 275x183]


I clicked this thread only to see that.  Surprised was I that it was the boobies.  Nicely done.
 
2013-10-18 11:24:27 PM
Brazilian scam-church called Universal Church of the Kingdom of God that has millions of followers and is trying to go global

i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-18 11:26:42 PM
lolsnaps.com
 
2013-10-18 11:27:51 PM
Oh Lord, ain't ya buy me a Cessna 500...my friends all have G5s, I must make amends...
 
2013-10-18 11:29:22 PM

bdub77: Although if you were a professional scam artist, 'dying' in a plane crash with no salvageable body is a good out.


yeah but with this kind of scam there's really no way for anyone to prove you didn't provide the service. it was simply a lack of faith on their part.
 
2013-10-18 11:31:36 PM
So....does this mean there is in fact a god?
 
2013-10-18 11:33:47 PM
What is the cool tag on vacation?
 
2013-10-18 11:36:29 PM
I have a tiger repelling rock I'd like to sell if anyone's interested.
 
2013-10-18 11:37:33 PM
If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any religious people.
 
2013-10-18 11:38:30 PM
And nothing of value was lost.
 
2013-10-18 11:40:25 PM

CrazyCracka420: I have a tiger repelling rock I'd like to sell if anyone's interested.


Purrrsss menacingly
 
2013-10-18 11:41:37 PM
Something Something God, Something Something Mysterious Ways...
 
2013-10-18 11:46:09 PM

fusillade762: The 1975 plane

1975? Is that a model number? Construction date? What?


The $19.75 plane, actually. Which explains why the whole business went down in the first place.
 
2013-10-18 11:46:27 PM
You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
 
2013-10-18 11:47:16 PM
"Several years ago, God spoke to me about creating a room of anointing in the sky. I realized He was talking to me about changing the way in which I travel..."

itsatrap.jpg
 
2013-10-18 11:49:28 PM

SpdrJay: If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any religious people.


Right. Reverend Gimmebucks was supposed to reason his way outta that there plane crash.
 
2013-10-18 11:50:07 PM

Son of Thunder: SpdrJay: If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any religious people.

Right. Reverend Gimmebucks was supposed to reason his way outta that there plane crash.


Obviously praying didn't work...
 
2013-10-18 11:50:27 PM
He was the cancer, and the exploding plane was the cure.
 
2013-10-18 11:51:30 PM
 
2013-10-18 11:51:41 PM

DrZiffle: "Several years ago, God spoke to me about creating a room of anointing in the sky. I realized He was talking to me about changing the way in which I travel..."

itsatrap.jpg


What God left out was that he was going to be anointed with flaming debris.

So what he said was true... from a certain point of view.
 
2013-10-18 11:53:44 PM

Gyrfalcon: Son of Thunder: SpdrJay: If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any religious people.

Right. Reverend Gimmebucks was supposed to reason his way outta that there plane crash.

Obviously praying didn't work...


Well, he's not in the plane any more, is he?
 
2013-10-18 11:54:27 PM

StatelyGreekAutomaton: fusillade762: The 1975 plane

1975? Is that a model number? Construction date? What?

The $19.75 plane, actually. Which explains why the whole business went down in the first place.


That's the level of the Abyss that he's currently inhabiting.  It took a while to get zoning approval, but they had to add on past the original 666 levels in order to have room for everyone these days.  Lolth, of course, is a NIMBY who tried to stop it.
 
2013-10-18 11:56:15 PM
I want to see faith astronauts, whose faith allows them unaided travel to the cosmos and back. Then I might be convinced.
 
2013-10-18 11:56:24 PM
Although I don't believe Pat Robertson is as bad as those Westboro hate guys, I wonder what people will remember about him when he finally dies. It's like he started out pretty much as a good guy, only to grow old saying bizarre stuff that makes people question his sanity.
 
2013-10-19 12:02:06 AM

FrancoFile: StatelyGreekAutomaton: fusillade762: The 1975 plane

1975? Is that a model number? Construction date? What?

The $19.75 plane, actually. Which explains why the whole business went down in the first place.

That's the level of the Abyss that he's currently inhabiting.  It took a while to get zoning approval, but they had to add on past the original 666 levels in order to have room for everyone these days.  Lolth, of course, is a NIMBY who tried to stop it.


But Drizzt had to fast track the paperwork before Tiamet Esq., dragons at law could finish the injunction.
 
2013-10-19 12:03:12 AM
Singing bye, bye mr faith healthin' guy,
Flew your Cessna off to Texas but it didn't quite fly,
Your preferred sexual toy, is calamari quite fried,
Singing this was the day that you died

(Repeat as needed. I'm not married to the lyrics if you have some good ideas)
 
2013-10-19 12:04:07 AM
2wolves: Since when is Jehovah smiting those worthy of a good hard smite?

Yeshua is purging the earth of the effective miracle workers and leaving behind those heathen failures we call scientists in order to prove a point.
 
2013-10-19 12:05:12 AM
Well, the article says that the plane reached over 16k feet before exploding.  I think the NTSB and police are going to be looking into this pretty hard.
 
2013-10-19 12:06:34 AM
I've never felt comfortable admitting I'm the vengeful type, but I'm ok with saying I'm jovial.

/laughing
//pointing
 
2013-10-19 12:08:05 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: shanrick: God needed them for something and called them home. Don't question God's word.

You do know, of course, that Christians only say that when it's someone else's loved one...


I watched my Grandfather have a stroke and die at the breakfast table.  It would have been a little nicer if God could have got to him an hour sooner in his sleep.

/csb?
 
2013-10-19 12:12:52 AM

ultraholland: I want to see faith astronauts, whose faith allows them unaided travel to the cosmos and back. Then I might be convinced.


Astral projection, man.
 
2013-10-19 12:14:07 AM

Phil Clinton: Benevolent Misanthrope: shanrick: God needed them for something and called them home. Don't question God's word.

You do know, of course, that Christians only say that when it's someone else's loved one...

I watched my Grandfather have a stroke and die at the breakfast table.  It would have been a little nicer if God could have got to him an hour sooner in his sleep.

/csb?


Should have given him a bowl of Life.
 
2013-10-19 12:18:31 AM

BKITU: [memecrunch.com image 275x183]


Seriously, fark him.  And fark anybody who pretends to have psychic or magical powers and takes money for them.  I will excuse anyone who passes the Randi test.  They rest of you farkwits can get cancer-Aids.
 
2013-10-19 12:20:11 AM

2wolves: Since when is Jehovah smiting those worthy of a good hard smite?


napawhinecountry.com
*tosses rock at 2wolves*
 
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