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(Foodbeast)   What's the worst part of a grocery store? When the grocery cart wheel clogs up, or when some douche is clogging up the middle aisle?   (foodbeast.com) divider line 284
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7181 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2013 at 4:15 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-18 02:44:07 PM
OK...self checkout question. When there are mutliple stations and/or aisles are all in use, how do you line up? Do you target a specific station or aisle, or do you stand back and wait for the next one to open up? I've seen people do both, though I tend to be one to stand back for the next available.
 
2013-10-18 03:27:53 PM
www.ketchupface.com
They have these kid carts at Fred Meyer. They're cute, but they also tend to block aisles more than a standard shopping cart.
 
2013-10-18 03:30:59 PM

Bathia_Mapes: [www.ketchupface.com image 850x620]
They have these kid carts at Fred Meyer. They're cute, but they also tend to block aisles more than a standard shopping cart.


I used to work at a Fred Meyer.  They had carts with the car in the front.  Not bad, but it sucks to push them because they don't fit with the normal carts, so you have to make separate trips for each one.
 
2013-10-18 03:46:37 PM
If you leave your cart in a parking space instead of returning it to the cart corral then clearly your mother was so busy at the homeless shelter trading access to her orifices in exchange for opiates and her brain so addled by a Bhopal soup of sexually transmitted diseases when you were a child that you were raised by the mountain of cat feces that was your bed, school and only friend.

You should fashion a vest out of road flares and run screaming toward the national monument most convenient to the crack house you currently use as a base of operations to orally service diseased hoboes.

Oh, and hambeasts? Those electric carts are for the frail 90-year-old widow struggling to maintain her balance as she defiantly maintains her independence, not as a delivery vector for your personal daily Festival of Off-Brand Oreos.
 
2013-10-18 03:48:32 PM
Getting angry at things in the grocery store ... first world problems.
 
2013-10-18 03:48:37 PM
The Day I Killed Everyone
by P. Ninja

*scans can of dog food*
*drops can in bag*
UNKNOWN ITEM IN BAGGING AREA
What? It's a can of food. I just scanned it.
*removes can from bag*
DO YOU WANT TO BAG YOUR ITEM?
Yes, I want to bag my item but you told me it was unknown.
*drops can in bag*
UNKNOWN ITEM IN BAGGING AREA
Oh, Jesus farking christ.
*turns to look at gum-chewing girl standing at main register.*
*gum chewing girl blows a bubble*
*gum chewing girl presses a key*
*drops can in bag*
*scans beer*
AGE VERIFICATION ITEM. PLEASE SHOW ID TO ATTENDANT
Oh, for fark...
*turns glare at gum-chewing girl, who is talking to another cashier*
*waits*
*clears throat*
*gum chewing girl looks, blows bubble, cocks head sideways*
*gum chewing girl presses key*
*sets beer in bag, glares at screen apprehensively*
*sets apple on scale*
PLEASE ENTER CODE OR SELECT ITEM FROM LIST
Oh, no code. Of course not. So..A for apple, I guess...
*presses key*
What? No apple? What the hell? OK, F for fruit?
*presses key*
What? Where the hell are apples?
*turns to gum-chewing girl*
Where are apples?
*gum chewing girl rolls her eyes, whispers something to friend*
*gum chewing girl walks to my register, presses G key*
*gum chewing girl pressed Golden Delicious Apple*
*gum chewing girl walks back to her stand*
Why is it filed under 'Golden Delicious'? It's an apple first, golden delicious second. What sense does that make?
*gum chewing girl shrugs, blows bubble*
OK, whatever.
*drops apple in bag*
UNKNOWN ITEM IN BAGGING AREA
Oh for christ's sake, goddamnit you farking thing.
*takes out apple, drops it on floor, swipes bacon across scanner*
DO YOU WANT TO BAG YOUR ITEM
No.
*swipes bacon*
DO YOU WANT TO BAG YOUR ITEM
NO GODDAMNIT.
*smashes no button with finger, swipes bacon*
DO YOU WANT TO BAG YOUR ITEM
I SAID NO GODDAMN YOU FARKING THING TO HELL
*hurls bacon at screen, turns to glare at girl*
*girl shrugs, presses button*
PLEASE SCAN YOUR ITEM
*takes deep breath*
*picks up box of spaghetti*
*scans spaghetti*
*drops spaghetti in bag*
DO YOU WANT TO BAG YOUR ITEM

fin
 
2013-10-18 04:08:37 PM
Pocket Ninja:
UNKNOWN ITEM IN BAGGING AREA

Ok, as usual your post was funny... but I've been noticing a lot less of the "unknown item" error lately.  Maybe its just me?
 
2013-10-18 04:14:55 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-18 04:17:56 PM
The people.
 
2013-10-18 04:18:01 PM
As with everything, the zombies who multitask on their phones while attempting shopping deserve to have their shins barked
 
2013-10-18 04:18:55 PM

miss diminutive: [i.imgur.com image 350x263]


Ketchup is always the correct answer, don't even act like Catsup is a thing.

/grocery cart full of items in self check out lane.
 
2013-10-18 04:19:22 PM
If I am in the condom aisle and there is a shopping cart blocking my way.I throw a box of condoms in there.Then granny deals with it at checkout.
 
2013-10-18 04:19:45 PM
Kids
 
2013-10-18 04:21:02 PM
Yeah, I get my groceries delivered.  Much less painful(my delivery service only operates in my area, but they're about as cheap as shopping).

Sucks to be all you guys.
 
2013-10-18 04:21:50 PM
I run a pretty good racket when it comes to ringing in organic vegetables as regular vegetables, nt out of preference or for any health benefit, but simply to stick it to The Man.
 
2013-10-18 04:22:04 PM
"Oh hey, I have seventeen unclipped coupons, y'all don't mind if I just handle this here, now, in the checkout line, right? It's cool?"
 
2013-10-18 04:22:07 PM

SurfaceTension: OK...self checkout question. When there are mutliple stations and/or aisles are all in use, how do you line up? Do you target a specific station or aisle, or do you stand back and wait for the next one to open up? I've seen people do both, though I tend to be one to stand back for the next available.


There is one line and the person at the front of the line moves to whatever machine is available. It's mathematically the quickest system since one slow person won't hold up the people behind them. That's the reason stores like Barnes & Noble have one line for multiple registers.
 
2013-10-18 04:22:33 PM

zerkalo: As with everything, the zombies who multitask on their phones while attempting shopping deserve to have their shins barked


This and that. I don't have a problem with using a cell phone at the grocery store, just don't yack on it while you move as fast as old people fark in the narrowest aisle in the building. Find an empty area, take your call, and move on.
 
2013-10-18 04:22:40 PM
Clerk: 'Would you like to use our self check out?'
Me: 'No, I didn't come here to work.'
 
2013-10-18 04:22:42 PM
Places that don't have self checkout.  It's 2013, please let me avoid standing in a pointless line just so your employee can touch my stuff.
 
2013-10-18 04:22:50 PM
Self checkout is fine for one or two items, maybe up to half a dozen....but people who run a weeks worth (or more) of shopping through them at one time need to be kicked squarely in the fun zone....

/alcohol too, don't try to buy alcohol at the self checkout, is it really that difficult to understand that?
 
2013-10-18 04:22:55 PM
The worst thing about grocery stores is being there on social security cheque day when the little old ladies on the Old Age Pension hit the banks as soon as they open in the AM and then the grocery store where they block every aisle while they catch up on the gossip for the next eight hours. It's like being in the liquor store on welfare cheque day.
 
2013-10-18 04:23:18 PM

HST's Dead Carcass: miss diminutive: [i.imgur.com image 350x263]

Ketchup is always the correct answer, don't even act like Catsup is a thing.

/grocery cart full of items in self check out lane.


This.
 
2013-10-18 04:26:10 PM

Erebus1954: Clerk: 'Would you like to use our self check out?'
Me: 'No, I didn't come here to work.'


I work at a grocery store, and I hate people like you. If you only have a few items, go to the self check out or even express lane.
 
2013-10-18 04:26:23 PM
Mr. Coffee Nerves: ...Oh, and hambeasts? Those electric carts are for the frail 90-year-old widow struggling to maintain her balance as she defiantly maintains her independence, not as a delivery vector for your personal daily Festival of Off-Brand Oreos.

"Hambeasts?"  So you have the ability of remote medical diagnosis with a glance so you can tell if a person has arthritis or other joint pain with just a look, as in, if they're overweight they be healthy and must just be slobs?  Have you offered your talents to the healthcare industry?
 
2013-10-18 04:26:35 PM

chevydeuce: Self checkout is fine for one or two items, maybe up to half a dozen....but people who run a weeks worth (or more) of shopping through them at one time need to be kicked squarely in the fun zone....

/alcohol too, don't try to buy alcohol at the self checkout, is it really that difficult to understand that?


I think 10-15 items is fine, and alcohol is simple in the self checkout, the person watching the self checkouts will approve you quicklyonce they see your ID.
 
2013-10-18 04:26:37 PM

Bathia_Mapes: [www.ketchupface.com image 850x620]
They have these kid carts at Fred Meyer. They're cute, but they also tend to block aisles more than a standard shopping cart.


the kroger we go to has these as well. there is another one that has carts, with the little cars in front, so they are even longer.

Of course, that's the store with fresh sushi for the wife so we have to go there, but they do have a nicer beer selection.

And nothing is worse then going to a store that has 20 checkout's but 4 people working them. Put in some fking self-checkout lanes for christ's sake
 
2013-10-18 04:27:40 PM

SurfaceTension: OK...self checkout question. When there are mutliple stations and/or aisles are all in use, how do you line up? Do you target a specific station or aisle, or do you stand back and wait for the next one to open up? I've seen people do both, though I tend to be one to stand back for the next available.


I would stand back at a small store, however...
At a large grocery store, there are usually 50 aisles and only a fraction of them are in use.
And they take up most of the width of the store, so there's no way you could even see when one was open.
 
2013-10-18 04:27:51 PM
The fact they put easily grab-able small objects at the level where the todller rides in the cart at check out.  HATE checkout lanes like that.
 
2013-10-18 04:28:28 PM

Bathia_Mapes: [www.ketchupface.com image 850x620]
They have these kid carts at Fred Meyer. They're cute, but they also tend to block aisles more than a standard shopping cart.


I used those carts at our local shop one time and once only.  They don't fit at the cashier and you have to unload then go all the way around, or you jam the damn thing through and hope you don't knock down the entire rack of candy bars.  Screw those carts.
 
2013-10-18 04:28:38 PM
They never put the stuff I need in the front. It's always in the back two corners. I know why they do it, but fark them.
 
2013-10-18 04:28:43 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: SurfaceTension: OK...self checkout question. When there are mutliple stations and/or aisles are all in use, how do you line up? Do you target a specific station or aisle, or do you stand back and wait for the next one to open up? I've seen people do both, though I tend to be one to stand back for the next available.

There is one line and the person at the front of the line moves to whatever machine is available. It's mathematically the quickest system since one slow person won't hold up the people behind them. That's the reason stores like Barnes & Noble have one line for multiple registers.


A thousand times yes.  If you act as if there are separate lines for each, then you are what's wrong with the world.
 
2013-10-18 04:28:51 PM

Pocket Ninja: The Day I Killed Everyone
by P. Ninja

*scans can of dog food*
*drops can in bag*
UNKNOWN ITEM IN BAGGING AREA
What? It's a can of food. I just scanned it.
*removes can from bag*
DO YOU WANT TO BAG YOUR ITEM?
Yes, I want to bag my item but you told me it was unknown.
*drops can in bag*
UNKNOWN ITEM IN BAGGING AREA
Oh, Jesus farking christ.
*turns to look at gum-chewing girl standing at main register.*
*gum chewing girl blows a bubble*
*gum chewing girl presses a key*
*drops can in bag*
*scans beer*
AGE VERIFICATION ITEM. PLEASE SHOW ID TO ATTENDANT
Oh, for fark...
*turns glare at gum-chewing girl, who is talking to another cashier*
*waits*
*clears throat*
*gum chewing girl looks, blows bubble, cocks head sideways*
*gum chewing girl presses key*
*sets beer in bag, glares at screen apprehensively*
*sets apple on scale*
PLEASE ENTER CODE OR SELECT ITEM FROM LIST
Oh, no code. Of course not. So..A for apple, I guess...
*presses key*
What? No apple? What the hell? OK, F for fruit?
*presses key*
What? Where the hell are apples?
*turns to gum-chewing girl*
Where are apples?
*gum chewing girl rolls her eyes, whispers something to friend*
*gum chewing girl walks to my register, presses G key*
*gum chewing girl pressed Golden Delicious Apple*
*gum chewing girl walks back to her stand*
Why is it filed under 'Golden Delicious'? It's an apple first, golden delicious second. What sense does that make?
*gum chewing girl shrugs, blows bubble*
OK, whatever.
*drops apple in bag*
UNKNOWN ITEM IN BAGGING AREA
Oh for christ's sake, goddamnit you farking thing.
*takes out apple, drops it on floor, swipes bacon across scanner*
DO YOU WANT TO BAG YOUR ITEM
No.
*swipes bacon*
DO YOU WANT TO BAG YOUR ITEM
NO GODDAMNIT.
*smashes no button with finger, swipes bacon*
DO YOU WANT TO BAG YOUR ITEM
I SAID NO GODDAMN YOU FARKING THING TO HELL
*hurls bacon at screen, turns to glare at girl*
*girl shrugs, presses button*
PLEASE SCAN YOUR ITEM
*takes deep breath*
*picks up box of spaghetti*
*scans spag ...


Bravo, well done.
I think it's time for you to hit broadway
 
2013-10-18 04:29:26 PM
I need a can of diced tomatoes...no I don't want one with all that extra stuff in it. Seriously can I just get a can of tomatoes with no extra crap in it?  I wasn't planning on adding oregano to my chili...but looks like I have no choice.
 
2013-10-18 04:29:26 PM

texdent: Erebus1954: Clerk: 'Would you like to use our self check out?'
Me: 'No, I didn't come here to work.'

I work at a grocery store, and I hate people like you. If you only have a few items, go to the self check out or even express lane.


I've been in IT for longer than you've been alive.  I avoid self checkout because I don't need to be called thief loudly and mechanically as I bag every farking item.

"UNSCANNED ITEMS IN CHECKOUT!"
No. I just scanned it you piece of robotic shiate.
 
2013-10-18 04:30:28 PM

Pocket Ninja: UNKNOWN ITEM IN BAGGING AREA


The funny thing about those self-serve scanners is that a bunch of grocery stores are removing them now in my area. I guess they didn't see the kinds of efficiency gains they were sold on when they purchased them.
 
2013-10-18 04:30:33 PM

BadReligion: chevydeuce: Self checkout is fine for one or two items, maybe up to half a dozen....but people who run a weeks worth (or more) of shopping through them at one time need to be kicked squarely in the fun zone....

/alcohol too, don't try to buy alcohol at the self checkout, is it really that difficult to understand that?

I think 10-15 items is fine, and alcohol is simple in the self checkout, the person watching the self checkouts will approve you quicklyonce they see your ID.


I recall the self check out beeping at me for buying Root Beer once. I was very confused and the guy told me it's because teenagers like to slip beer bottles into the root beer 6 packs, so he has to check them all out. I told him I'm obviously old enough, and this root beer is actually MORE expensive than the freaking beer ($4.99 a 6 pack for root beer, wtf?!?!)

And, old people in the self checkout that have no idea how technology works.
 
2013-10-18 04:30:50 PM

chevydeuce: Self checkout is fine for one or two items, maybe up to half a dozen....but people who run a weeks worth (or more) of shopping through them at one time need to be kicked squarely in the fun zone....

/alcohol too, don't try to buy alcohol at the self checkout, is it really that difficult to understand that?


There is a new Wal Mart grocery store near where I work. It's clean and prices are decent, but it's the fact I can take my entire cart through the self checkout that I like. They have eight of them, none have an item limit and there is always an open one. I don't have to make small talk with some Wal Martian and I can bag them how I want. I've gotten the Unknown Item in Bagging Area once or twice, but the attendant is right there and has it fixed in a couple of seconds.
 
2013-10-18 04:31:10 PM
About ten years ago, self checkout was big in the several grocery stores around my house.  None of them has it anymore.  It sucked.

/the Home Depot nearest me recently started self checkout.  It sucks.
 
2013-10-18 04:31:53 PM
When the cashier doesn't hear me say I want paper bags, so I have to beat them to death with a baguette.
 
2013-10-18 04:32:13 PM

theorellior: Pocket Ninja: UNKNOWN ITEM IN BAGGING AREA

The funny thing about those self-serve scanners is that a bunch of grocery stores are removing them now in my area. I guess they didn't see the kinds of efficiency gains they were sold on when they purchased them.

 finally figured out people were shoplifting left and right and so the stores are losing money.

The bottom line is the bottom line.
 
2013-10-18 04:32:50 PM
Wow almost as lame as the cash grab Buzz Feed Sponsored posts with the SWEET DATED GIFS!!  OH LOOK HOW COOL!

Cue next the DMV, TSA jokes. . . Ahhhh HILARIOUS!
 
2013-10-18 04:33:00 PM
the worst thing about grocery stores is when they decide to remodel and rearrange the aisles and now I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING and my 10 minute shopping-on-autopilot trip expands into a frustrating half-hour.
 
2013-10-18 04:34:31 PM
It takes me 15 minutes to get a weeks worth of shiat. If you feel a breeze of wind pass you and see a blur , that's me.
/Self checkout only at Home Depot
\\They need self checkout at Radio Shacks and Autozones.
 
2013-10-18 04:34:36 PM
The mouthbreathing, obese, disgusting mom that won't control her screaming snowflake.
 
2013-10-18 04:34:46 PM
Why is it a problem that someone blocks the isle with their cart?  If someone won't move a cart out of the way before you get to them, just move it yourself.  It usually doesn't take very long unless there's a kid in it.  Very easy, and no "detours to the next isle" needed.
 
2013-10-18 04:35:10 PM
I accidentally stole a package of diapers, a bottle of apple juice, and a 12-pack of beer from the self-check at Kroger once.

Accidentally.

Really.
True story.
 
2013-10-18 04:35:33 PM
Ugh. Yes, I hate the self-checkout. If anything, Pocket Ninja is understating the horrors that wait. I used to be a grocery store cashier. I am quite adept at scanning items and dealing with produce, thank you very much. The muscle memory is simple. Twirling the cans just so, punching in the produce codes, opening that carton of eggs to check and scan it all in one go... Oh heck yeah.

Do you know how frustrating is, when you actually know what you're doing, to have an idiot machine berating you? Screw you, Ms. Self Checkout Machine. I'll deal with an actual thinking human being, thank you.
 
2013-10-18 04:35:46 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: If you leave your cart in a parking space instead of returning it to the cart corral then clearly your mother was so busy at the homeless shelter trading access to her orifices in exchange for opiates and her brain so addled by a Bhopal soup of sexually transmitted diseases when you were a child that you were raised by the mountain of cat feces that was your bed, school and only friend.

You should fashion a vest out of road flares and run screaming toward the national monument most convenient to the crack house you currently use as a base of operations to orally service diseased hoboes.

Oh, and hambeasts? Those electric carts are for the frail 90-year-old widow struggling to maintain her balance as she defiantly maintains her independence, not as a delivery vector for your personal daily Festival of Off-Brand Oreos.


awesomegifs.com
 
2013-10-18 04:36:00 PM
Young parents who let their toddlers put empties into the only working reverse vending machine.
 
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