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(TMZ)   Kristen Bell is finally off the market   (tmz.com) divider line 55
    More: Sad, Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard, TMZ, interracial dating, breaking newses  
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6414 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Oct 2013 at 7:43 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-10-18 07:27:10 AM
Until she meets me, you mean.
 
2013-10-18 07:42:03 AM
Mmmmm

somebodyisfromhere.com
 
2013-10-18 07:47:45 AM
It's not like I had a chance with her.
 
2013-10-18 08:03:41 AM
She had her chance for some Prime Weasel and she went with something else?  Foolish girl.

/I'm sure she got my letters.
 
2013-10-18 08:14:09 AM
There is still a chance, just get yourself a ton of sloths and show up at her door
 
2013-10-18 08:19:12 AM
i.imgur.com

/Devastated
 
2013-10-18 08:19:35 AM
They are so damn cute together.
 
2013-10-18 08:19:50 AM
I curse you, Dax Shepard, with suffocating flatulence. CURSE
 
2013-10-18 08:20:34 AM
i.i.cbsi.com
 I can wait, my patience proves my love, right?
 
2013-10-18 08:31:26 AM

I_Am_Weasel: She had her chance for some Prime Weasel and she went with something else?  Foolish girl.

/I'm sure she got my letters.


Hey, cheer up, buuuuuuuuuuuddy.
 
2013-10-18 08:31:28 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: There is still a chance, just get yourself a ton of sloths and show up at her door


She likes sloths?
 
2013-10-18 08:36:09 AM
*patiently waits for that pic of her, you know the one*
 
2013-10-18 08:41:06 AM
Do we need to put Craig Ferguson on suicide watch?
 
2013-10-18 08:42:28 AM
Never seen what all the fuss is about with this girl. At best she's mall-hot.
 
2013-10-18 08:44:03 AM
Since this is Fark, I thought the headline was a snarky way of saying that she died. I am getting even too cynical for Fark now!
 
2013-10-18 08:49:19 AM

Bslim: Never seen what all the fuss is about with this girl. At best she's mall-hot.


7/10. the "mall-hot" line was good because I had never heard it before.
 
2013-10-18 08:49:27 AM

SlothB77: IdBeCrazyIf: There is still a chance, just get yourself a ton of sloths and show up at her door

She likes sloths?


Ohh yeah
 
2013-10-18 08:53:31 AM

Peter von Nostrand: *patiently waits for that pic of her, you know the one*


The hot one?

/I keed
 
2013-10-18 08:58:15 AM

Bslim: Never seen what all the fuss is about with this girl. At best she's mall-hot.


Um, which mall? I think I'm free for travel this weekend.
 
2013-10-18 09:01:35 AM
I guess this means no more stalking for me. Stalking a married chick is just creepy.
 
2013-10-18 09:02:39 AM
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-18 09:02:39 AM

Seth'n'Spectrum: Do we need to put Craig Ferguson on suicide watch?


That's the only place I know this china figurine from...Fergs drooling over her as she squeaks PG-rated innuendo.

What is she, a gymnast or something?
 
2013-10-18 09:03:16 AM
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-18 09:09:12 AM
i.imgur.com
 
mhd
2013-10-18 09:12:48 AM
i.imgur.com

/"Dax" does sound like Star Wars character's name
 
2013-10-18 09:45:42 AM
Hi, is the lineup for Symbiont jokes?
 
2013-10-18 09:52:26 AM
The first time I heard about her was when I saw 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'. She is one hot woman. She has an amazing, healthy looking body. If females want to have a role model as to what their body goals should be, they should be looking at Kristen Bell's body... not some super model's body.
 
2013-10-18 09:55:40 AM

Bslim: Never seen what all the fuss is about with this girl. At best she's mall-hot.


Hey man, have you ever seen those sexy teenagers at the mall?

Hmm, someone's at the door...
 
2013-10-18 09:58:52 AM
The couple had a no-frills ceremony at the Beverly Hills County Clerk Office. We're told there was a photographer present, and Kristen was crying.

 Was that the moment she realized she was marrying Dax Sheperd?

www.fritolay.com

Hope someone threw some of these at the end.
 
2013-10-18 10:05:55 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: SlothB77: IdBeCrazyIf: There is still a chance, just get yourself a ton of sloths and show up at her door

She likes sloths?

Ohh yeah


Be sure to check out the autotuned version as well.
 
2013-10-18 10:07:00 AM
So is that Veronica Mars movie still on? Love me some Veronica Mars.
 
2013-10-18 10:10:38 AM

mhd: "Dax" does sound like Star Wars character's name


images.sodahead.com

/Cough
 
2013-10-18 10:12:08 AM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: So is that Veronica Mars movie still on? Love me some Veronica Mars.


I hope it's still on. That was a highly enjoyable show. It lost its way toward the end, but it deserved a second chance. And Bell did a good job with the role.
 
2013-10-18 10:19:11 AM

Wellon Dowd: [i.imgur.com image 215x293]


is that from House of Lies?

My goodness...
 
2013-10-18 10:21:33 AM
"Do you want my mouth?"

Possibly the hottest line ever uttered in the history of film.
 
2013-10-18 10:31:59 AM

someonelse: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: So is that Veronica Mars movie still on? Love me some Veronica Mars.

I hope it's still on. That was a highly enjoyable show. It lost its way toward the end, but it deserved a second chance. And Bell did a good job with the role.


It is. I got a Kickstarter update for it a couple days ago. It's done other than editing and scoring at this point.
 
2013-10-18 10:46:57 AM
Looking at the glass as half full, my chances of ever hooking up with her have not decreased in the slightest.
 
2013-10-18 11:00:28 AM

Uncle Pooky: Wellon Dowd: [i.imgur.com image 215x293]

is that from House of Lies?

My goodness...


Yes sir it is :D
 
2013-10-18 12:21:01 PM
Does she have a lazy eye?

Something about her eyes are off.
 
2013-10-18 12:22:36 PM
She's an 'every now and then' character on Parks and Recreation now.  So one can take solace in that.
 
2013-10-18 12:29:25 PM

scotchcrotch: Does she have a lazy eye?

Something about her eyes are off.



The muscles controlling her eyes aren't totally in sync, and she can move them independently. There's a clip of her doing this trick on Craig Ferguson.
 
2013-10-18 12:35:35 PM
Really?  She married HIM?!!  I must protest this.  I am much better looking and I have not had a chance to even smell someone remotely in her league.

This is as disappointing as that time Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett.  Seriously makes me want to punch myself in the face.
 
2013-10-18 01:17:13 PM

GameSprocket: Since this is Fark, I thought the headline was a snarky way of saying that she died. I am getting even too cynical for Fark now!


Well for some Farkers dying wouldn't necessarily mean going off the market....
 
2013-10-18 02:08:55 PM

Valiente: Seth'n'Spectrum: Do we need to put Craig Ferguson on suicide watch?

That's the only place I know this china figurine from...Fergs drooling over her as she squeaks PG-rated innuendo.

What is she, a gymnast or something?


Always a hoot when someone outs himself as too stupid to have heard of google or IMDB.
 
2013-10-18 02:28:13 PM
If I was Dax I would motorboat that ass till I couldnt feel my face anymore, then I would recharge with gatorade and repeat
 
2013-10-18 03:02:07 PM
did she marry a sloth
 
2013-10-18 03:20:10 PM

nmiguy: Really?  She married HIM?!!  I must protest this.  I am much better looking and I have not had a chance to even smell someone remotely in her league.

This is as disappointing as that time Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett.  Seriously makes me want to punch myself in the face.


Hey now, watch it bub. I've been told I look like a cross between Lyle Lovett and Michael Richards. Julia Roberts marrying that hideous chud let me know that maybe, just possibly there's a chance in hell for me to score a hot woman instead of the hideous hosebeasts I usually end up with.

/not really that ugly
//but unfortunately I do have that same crazy hair those two have.
///Ok and I have a nose similar to Lyle Lovett's as well.
 
2013-10-18 04:40:47 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-18 06:11:32 PM
If I don't get the 'leaning over the railing in yoga pants' picture in 2 minutes, this thread fails!!!!
 
2013-10-18 06:12:09 PM

nmiguy: This is as disappointing as that time Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett.  Seriously makes me want to punch myself in the face.


Seriously.  Lyle could've done SO much better.
 
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